A chaotic mishmash of things I like and things I made.

The stories, art, opinions, and miscellaneous reblogs of novelist, artist, and fanfic writer Stephanie O'Brien. If you want to support peace in Israel and Palestine, I encourage you to check out Standing Together and A Land For All.

[marisatomay]

Sometimes in a professional setting you’ll come across someone in their 60s who just cannot open a PDF in their email. And the thing is. They’re lowkey not old enough to be acting like that. You guys were in your early 30s at the latest when email took off. You’ve actually been doing this for longer than I have. Get real and click on the damn attachment.

[marisatomay]

Guy who’s the same age as the Ferris Bueller who hacked into his school’s systems doesn’t know how to open Outlook and wants me to do it for him brother you must be shitting me

[thebaconsandwichofregret]

I actually said this to a client who was trying to pull the "Oh well I'm 65 you know" card on me a few months ago and he got so embarrassed when I pointed it out.

He has magically learnt how to log into his account and pay for shit on his own though, so it was worth the risk.

[tahthetrickster]

working with folks my mother’s age who have been at this job longer than i’ve been alive but they got new computers this week and have flagged me over for help a dozen times in two days because suddenly they don’t know how to save or rename files and like…

i like helping people with computer problems. i really do. i enjoy being helpful and i enjoy helping people overcome their nervousness around computers and getting them more comfortable and confident in their use.

however.

the problem here seems to be that these folks have spent thirty five years in this role and have done their entire computer-based jobs by rote instead of learning what the buttons on your programs do. and i simply do not know how to help fix that level of incuriosity

[stephobrien]

The USA Supreme Court's recent ruling has set off a blatantly racist gerrymandering frenzy.

Supreme Court Sets Off Gerrymandering Frenzy

The justices can no longer pretend to be above politics.

This article lays out the consequences of this ruling, as well as some recommendations for what can be done about it.

[brainrotdotorg]

i really do think we should substitute gacha games instead for like. the random wikipedia article button. gives you the same "yay i got something new and exciting!" feeling without spending any money and you get to learn something new on wikipedia. the problem is that its missing a cute little storage menu where you can see all the links to different articles youve "collected"

[brainrotdotorg]

so many people could be weaned off of gambling if we just gamified that website a *little* bit

[brainrotdotorg]

okay so ummmmm. its real

[toxifoxx]

absolutely fucking legendary first pull

[kaijutegu]

HELL YES ENIGMATIC LEAF TURTLE

[kaijutegu]

you can use this game to make a cow fight the state of new jersey's constitutional amendment process

[draconym]

this game gave me covid

[jewish-joy]

I volunteer at an elementary school through a school club. For the end of year party, I was discussing the logistics with the organization's president when she broke the news that there'd be no pizza.

"Aw, shucks!" Was my response. "You couldn't order it from a school approved vendor? Even with our funds?

"Basically," she groaned. "The usual place isn't open that day and I wasn't going to order from the other one."

"What was the other one?" I asked.

"It's" she wrinkled her face and whispered. "A kosher pizzeria."

I waited for the follow up. It didn't come. I repeated her words. "because it's kosher ? "

"Yeah." She sighed. "I just can't endorse that. With global politics."

"You can't endorse a local restaurant so you're not getting pizza for 8 year olds?"

"Yeah. And I bet that their stuff isn't that good -"

"Actually," I interrupted. "That place is fantastic. I love their pizza."

I couldn't tell you her response because I walked away from that conversation. But I am still reeling. This is just the many ways antisemitism shows up and we are all lesser for it.

[jewish-joy]

On a funny note, I ran into two of my rabbis and told them this story. They then got into an incredibly intense argument on if that kosher pizzeria was even that good.

One insisted it was the best and the other hated it, fighting for another spot.

I interrupted-- "guys, what about the antisemitism?"

They turned to me, consoling. "Listen, antisemitism is always going to be there. But at the same time, we can have standards."

And promptly got back to their debate.

[hydrachea]

> turns on my computer

> disables a new AI feature that was turned on by default

> opens my email

> disables a new AI feature that was turned on by default

> launches a software

> disables a new AI fea

[stephobrien]

Not to mention all the data-stealing features that were quietly and nonconsensually turned on in the background to train the AI featuresa.

[redstonedust]

well, no, i didn’t expect leopards to eat my face, but this obviously wasn’t what the leopards eating people's face party wanted. they were stifled by their opposition and bureaucratic red tape! i think we should give more power to the leopard eating face party, so the leopards only eat the faces of people who deserve it. plus they just put a new leopard in charge of the face eating, and i think this one really brings something new to the table. so yes i'm voting for the leopards eating people's face party again. why wouldn't i.

[glassbirdfeather]

the leopards have been really effective at eating faces, and they only nibbled on mine a little! i don't mind a little superficial scarring if it means the leopards keep eating the faces of people who deserve it.

[demilypyro]

There is a notion that you can't love others unless you love yourself. But I have never struggled with loving others. And I have never been good at loving myself.

Others are beautiful, admirable, inspiring. I would gladly live for others, and I've done so many times before. To love others is quite natural, because they are so much more worthy of love than I am.

Myself, I don't think I can ever love unconditionally, the way I can love others.

So if the phrase isn't about literal ability, is it about morality? Am I not *allowed* to love others until I love myself?

But to deprive me of the ability to love until I have been corrected... I am to live in isolation, then, because I cannot love myself. What cruel doctrine.

Some of us simply have no love for ourselves. All our love is pointed outward. Is that so wrong? Is that a crime worthy of banishment?

Maybe I'd be able to love myself if self-hatred wasn't so despised.

[anti-normalacy-blog]

I think it's more about being a part of healthy relationships, whatever form they take. And the people who love you, want you to love yourself they way they do, the way you want them to love themselves for all the beauty you see in them, that they in turn can see in you.

If you love others, but not yourself, you can more easily fall into being all give and no take. And that can distress those who care for you, and hurt or push away people who want to help, or who need to be needed. No one is an island, we need other people, and there's no moral judgement, or failure, or greed in that. It is the nature of being Human, or a eusocial mammal in general.

Having a healthy relationship with yourself, makes navigating and cultivating relationships a lot less treacherous. Social dynamics can get really fine and finicky, and seemingly small shifts in perspective can lead to very different long-term patterns or consequences.

We're none of us perfect. We make mistakes, sometimes, terrible ones. But we can learn to be better, we can commit to learning from those mistakes, and never making them again. We can change. It takes work, and effort, and perseverance, but ultimately, we are who we choose to be. We can cultivate what is the best of ourselves, and seek the company who bring our best to the surface, and do our best to kindle that in others.

You don't vanquish evil by destroying it. It is born from suffering, and violence, and cruelty. You vanquish evil by *starving* it. With compassion, and mercy, and generosity. And if you want the world to change, the best way is to practice that change. And the most logistically convenient place to start is with yourself.

If everyone deserves compassion, then so do you.

If everyone deserves respect, then so do you.

If everyone has inherent worth, then so do you.

It's not easy. But the best way to fight what you don't like about yourself, is to cultivate the parts of yourself you do like, you are proud of. Or that you want to like, or want to be proud of. And if you can't see them for yourself, find friends that can see from the outside looking in, what you can't from the inside looking out.

The plants that get the water grow, the plants that don't wither.

And Neuroplasticity means you do get better at it, and it gets easier with practice. Speaking from experience. There are good days, and bad days, but the good days either get a little more common, and the bad days a bit easier to navigate (breaking out of spirals or circles, learning when you need to distract yourself because negative reinforcement is not helping).

Wishing you the best. And may the compassion, and positivity, and joy you bring into the world come back to you.

[stephobrien]

This is an excellent response, which I'd like to build on.

You can love others before you learn to love yourself.

Having loving, positive relationships with others can make it easier to love yourself. Building self-love while surrounded by people who love you is far easier than doing it in a vacuum, and feeling love for them can be a stepping stone toward directing some of that love to yourself.

But in addition to what prev described, there are other ways in which a lack of self-love can sabotage relationships, and I think that's what people tend to mean when they say self-love is necessary for good relationships.

To give a few examples, which may or may not apply to you personally:

In some cases, when people believe they're unlovable, they have a hard time believing that others can love them, or will keep loving them long-term. This can cause them to hold others at arms' length, unable to trust the people who love them because they're afraid the love will be rescinded if people "realize" how "unlovable" they are.

It can also lead them to question the judgment of the people who love them, or to complain about themselves so much that it makes the people around them uncomfortable, sabotaging their relationships.

And the "all give and no take" dynamic the previous reblog mentioned can lead to burnout and resentment if taken too far for too long. So if a person doesn't love themselves enough to set boundaries and prioritize their needs, it can undermine their love for others in the long run, or attract people who abuse and exploit them.

But none of this means you're a bad person who doesn't deserve love.

It simply means you've been hurt in ways that make relationships more difficult, the same way a broken leg makes running more difficult.

To say "you can't love others until you love yourself" is a harmful oversimplification, as demonstrated by the pain and fear in the original post.

But loving yourself helps ensure that your love for others stays healthy and strong in the long term.

Self-hatred is not a crime. It's a wound. And wounds don't heal through judgment and isolation - they heal through nurturing and care.

So I'll echo prev's encouragement to ask your loved ones for help. Let the people you trust know that you're struggling with your self-esteem, and you need to know what good things others see in you. Not in a roundabout, disingenuous, "fishing for compliments while trying to hide my intentions" way, but in an honest and direct way. People tend to respond better to authenticity.

There's a very real chance that your loved ones have sensed that something is troubling you, and will be happy and relieved to have a chance to do something about it.

And when you find yourself judging yourself for the traits you believe you have or don't have, ask yourself: "If one of the people I love had/lacked this trait or made this mistake, would I still love them?"

I truly hope that helps. I was one of those kids who struggled to make friends, and spent most of my childhood feeling unwanted and unlovable. It took years to rebuild my self-esteem and sense of self-worth. But it can be done.

Sending you hugs over the internet.

[magicalshopping]

♡ Jar of Gay Keychain by The Tangerine Catt ♡

[cultureunseen]

BLACK JEWS (…nuff said.)

[tikkunolamorgtfo]

Reblogging because there are enough people out there who don’t get that Jews come in all hues.

[heldersangel-deactivated2024071]

Shoutout to us!!!

[werpiper]

hey @potofsoup for your consideration <3

[witch-of-the-diaspora]

Diaspora miracles.

[veresart]

Outsider 🖤

[respawnedart]

More of my cosplay of The Outsider - I still love this character and I'm proud of how much this costume has evolved since I first started making it. 🐀 🖤

Photos and edits are done by Jacob.Cr2 (these are from 2021 iirc). Last pose is referenced from here.

[icpe]

Dishonored 2, doodles #86

[chimerakisu]

ik nobody's talking about these songs anymore but I've been thinkin about this ship ever since ERB came out so... I call this "Confessions of a Rotten Ego Renegade Boy" because it's dumb and it fits them

genuinely obsessed w this concept now might draw these gay sillies more

[cringebuthappy]

[wyf-of-bathe]

Is there a reason the manufacturers of smoke detectors make them as unintuitive to use and difficult to replace as possible? Is there a reason I need to hold the 'test' button for a full 30 seconds while it gives me hearing damage instead of it having an off button AND a test button? Is there a reason there's no indicator of expiration separate from the battery life light and you just have to guess while getting your eardrums blown out? Is there zero way to make this thing even slightly accessible to short people?

O manufacturers, curse of death by trampling by a million horses upon you and your house.

[stephobrien]

Also, is there a reason why the "I'm having a non-smoke-related malfunction" noise is so similar to the "there's actually smoke" noise that I don't know which it's trying to tell me about?

[jamesroach]

4:35 Blaze it sorry traffic was crazy

[jamesroach]

oh we missed the ten year anniversary of the worst post i’ve ever made

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

traffic again?

[starscream-is-my-wife]

Early on Soundwave learns that blackmailing is pretty ineffective to the elite trine