"i love you" "holy shit" "i mean-" "i love you too."
okay but what the fuck was ilya going to say to try to back track. like if shane had left him hanging for a sec wtf was he gonna sayyyyyy
"I love you" "holy shit" "I MEAN YOUR HOLE."
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@storm-does-stuff
"i love you" "holy shit" "i mean-" "i love you too."
okay but what the fuck was ilya going to say to try to back track. like if shane had left him hanging for a sec wtf was he gonna sayyyyyy
"I love you" "holy shit" "I MEAN YOUR HOLE."
I don't think it's far-fetched at all to say the academy nominated connor for his snl hosting gig as a way to also recognize his performance in heated rivalry. which is pretty fucking amazing. his performance moved so many people that the academy found a way to nominate him despite the fact HR was ineligible. his power
Something something Mic’s up Shane during a Boston vs Montreal game
Mic’d up Shane trying his best to ignore Ilya but after a very stupid penalty can’t help but skate up to Ilya in the penalty box to chirp him, giving a pretty classic tame Hollander chirp.
The mic doesn’t pick up Ilyas reply but everyone and their mother hears Shane say ‘who the fuck taught you about conjugal visits—’
my final heated rivalry thought of the night is i do genuinely think it exists in this weird space of requiring you to both be a hockey fan and not know anything about hockey. schrodinger's hockey fan. you need to know about hockey because half the stakes aren't really explained to you at all. see: hockey culture/homophobia. see: the montreal-boston rivalry's unique significance. etc. but you also need to not know anything about hockey because if you do then you look at the long game and go: montreal would not do that. ottawa would also not do that. also why are the 1oa and 2oa going to world juniors twice. why is no one throwing hands at ilya for being that close to their injured captain on the ice.
(incredible tags via @fitzofinspiration)
come on😀mention my favourite character😀i am well adjusted😀and will act very normal😀i assure you😀
lowkey my david and yuna hollander parenting thesis
myilya got cancelled because at age 19 he genuinely mixed up the english words “forgot” and “f*ggot” by accident, because they sounded too similar to him, and a clip got posted of him holding up cliff’s forgotten water bottle and yelling across the rink “MARLY YOU F*GGOT!”
AKAJSHDHDKDH PLEASE THIS IS SO REAL
i really think a lot of the long game conflict boils down to shane saying “hey i’m really scared” and ilya thinking “well i took a meat cleaver to MY life in order to have a chance at happiness and i survived it so why the fuck can’t you do the same for me??” while he grows paler and paler from blood loss and pointedly does NOT look at the ghost of his mother who appears in the rearview mirror of his porsche cayman gt4 and whispers for him to take his pregame cens v raiders nap in the garage with the engine running
kitty perfect weight for picking up for cuddles! kitty very Soft and warm and will purr comfortably in your arms. Pick up kitty. no problems ever when picking up kitty because good weight and size for picking up after surgery.
i just know there's some twitter user named moyshane out there who's drawing fanart of shane as every single russian word ilya uses as a pet name. it started as a tomato (#moypomidor is viral after shane was mic'd for the first time on the cens) but then they collaborate with a lip reading account who somehow also speaks russian and it's like. bam shane as a toaster shane as a rabbit shane as a wet floor sign (this one is strangely kinky and gets flagged). ilya voice shane good assist my beautiful little chetyrekhlistnyy klever and then two hours later there's a drawing of shane's face in the middle of a four leaf clover doing the rounds on twitter. shane finds out about it and he's so annoyed he's like STOP calling me cereal call me a hockey player or something so they'll draw me as a hockey player and ilya is like shane moya lyubov there are ten thousand drawings of you as a hockey player already. i want to see you as a brontosaurus. and moyshane, god bless their soul, delivers
The vibe Ilya was prepared to bring to Tampa
this is where i go when i open this app btw
what do you mean that's not what happened
ok but it's very funny that an entire documentary about their rivalry came out months before they did.
like, imagine being the director who made that doc. you got hired by the league to make a piece about the hollander-rozanov rivalry and maybe it's not your preferred subject matter but a job is a job and the guys were really nice about being interviewed and you think you did a good job in the end of telling the story well
then a couple months later they go "also ☝️"