The two "created in a lab" fantasies:
Yes, everything about me is fucked up, but what if that was secretly awesome?
Yes, everything about me is fucked up, but what if there was someone to blame?

bliss lane

shark vs the universe

if i look back, i am lost
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Not today Justin
Show & Tell
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noise dept.

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The Stonewall Inn
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Product Placement
Sweet Seals For You, Always

gracie abrams
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Monterey Bay Aquarium
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@stormsfordragon
The two "created in a lab" fantasies:
Yes, everything about me is fucked up, but what if that was secretly awesome?
Yes, everything about me is fucked up, but what if there was someone to blame?
Did I just employ the "Treat Them Like You are A Kindergarten Teacher Again" method with my insurance company today? I surely did. Did it work? Probably better than intended because I made an actual doctor feel contrite.
So, my insurance has been trying to not cover my SNRI because it is new on the market and no generic available yet, so pricey.
I apply for a refill and the request gets locked for review. Again. For the 3rd time.
This time I call and immediately ask to speak to the actual doctor making these clinical decisions. Very politely. Must be a slow day because they allow it.
ME: [Teacher voice] I'm calling in regards to the SNRI you have placed a lock on. Why was this decision made?
DOC: Well, there are dozens of other medications on the market in that tier, and far cheaper for you and [insurer]. We have sent a request to your doctor to consider alternatives.
ME: I am aware of that. So, can you do me a HUGE favor and look up my prescription history really quickly and tell me how many SSRIs and SNRIs were only filled once in 2022 for me, showing they were poorly tolerated?
DOC: It looks like eight.
ME: Great job! Now, can you please look at my genetic test for psychiatric drug tolerance and tell me how many medications are listed in the safe category?
DOC: Two.
ME: Awesome! Now, can you tell me what type that other drug is that I'm not taking?
DOC: Yeah, totally, it's an MAOI.
ME: That's correct, you're really knowledgeable! Should I be taking something as dangerous as an MAOI with my other medications, or even just in general?
DOC: It's contraindicated for sure.
ME: It is! So true! So, last question since you've been incredibly smart and helpful. Is it less expensive for [insurer] to pay out for the medication knowing they already get a huge manufacturer discount anyway, or is it more expensive for them to pay for me to need potentially long-term inpatient psychiatric care?
DOC: I'll clear the code, ma'am and flag it as medically necessary. I'm sorry about this.
ME: I appreciate you SO MUCH. You have a great day now.
WALGREENS PHARMACY TECH WITH 5 NOSE RINGS AND PURPLE HAIR STARING AT ME: ........... OKAY! It'll be ready in five minutes. You wanna come work here?
Kill them with kindness
BUT KILL THEM
I apologize to everyone whose grammar I ever corrected before I learned not to be a tool.
your forgiven.
Youāre⦠really sweet to do that. Thanks.
TIL in 1896 a temporary, one-day city was named in Texas called Crush, where two locomotives were to be smashed head-on for purposes of spectacle. It was, for a few hours, the 2nd largest city in TX with 40k attendees. The collision caused engine boilers to explode, resulting in death and injuries.
via reddit.com
source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crush,_Texas
you could just do shit back then
texas is still like this
"Imagine," says the voice, "that you were underneath a blanket. It's a little small, so your feet poke out from underneath it, and your arms come out from either side."
"Okay," says the human, dangling upside down, suspended by a group of tentacles. "I got it."
"Right," says the voice, which comes from everywhere and nowhere. "Now consider a cat. The cat thinks you're kind of like a cat, but you're so big, he has some problems understanding that all of your body is really you."
"Am I the-"
"Yes. Now listen. Especially under the blanket, the cat doesn't really know where your body begins and ends. He sees your feet, and decides to attack them. He's only play-fighting, but his claws are real sharp, so it hurts. What would you do?"
"Well," says the human, gently spinning in the tentacle's grasp, "I'd try to tuck my feet under the blanket."
"Ah, but then it's even worse," claims the voice, triumphantly, "because now your cat sees Blanket Monsters and attacks them twice as hard."
"So you have to grab the cat."
"It's either that or burrito her," says the voice, squeezing the human in the grip of its tentacles. "And since in this metaphor the blanket represents the fabric of reality as you know it, I don't think you'd find it very pleasant."
"Fair enough," says the human, blood beginning to pool in her head. "Can you please put me down, now? I promise I won't attack you again."
"That's what the cat says every time, too, and yet..."
so thinking about this, i am reminded of graystoke, the smartest cat by far that i ever had.
graystoke hated feet and frequently attacked them.
and one day, when he was probably ten or so, he attacked my feet, and i said ow, and he suddenly stared at me with this look of absolute horror. and he did not attack feet again.
just watched jurassic park and from a meta perspective im thinking sadly about how the behavior the carnivores display is way more indicative (at least to me) of wanting to play and lacking stimulation in their lives than actually wanting to eat the human characters. and they got so so demonized for it
JP dinosaur behavior analysis with a healthy dose of headcanon included from someone who doesnt know much about behavioral science. for funsies
ok so first of all lets start with the t rex. her very first moment is the goat leg ending up on the car, but we can see in the next shot that she is very capable of swallowing the goat whole. so how did that leg get there? given evidence that t. rexes were likely social creatures, i like to imagine that the leg on the car was more āhere you go have part of my meal because youāre smallā for the humans
next is her communication. i want to look at one specific thing, which was actually the thing that prompted the post
to me, that certainly looks like eye pinning. eye pinning is a behavior in birds that signals high stimulation. hereās what it looks like in a bird
it can be positive or negative, but in this case itās probably not negative, because thereās nothing forcing the rex to stay there. if she wanted to leave the situation she could hit the bricks
the continual roaring also sort of suggests play behavior to me. thereās not really any sense in making a shitload of noise at your prey (unless youāre trying to scare them out of cover, but we know she doesnāt need to do that because we see sheās strong enough to just break into the car) so, especially because they keep screaming, that reads way more like āim making noises and theyāre making noises back ^w^ā then it does as trying to intimidate prey for some reason
play behavior also makes sense because we know, canonically, sheās crazy understimulated. alan grant says as much when he mentions that they arenāt feeding her in a way that promotes hunting behavior. the way she noses at the jeep and spins it really just looks more like curious interaction than anything, as well as all the chasing people she does
next, the raptors. their really famous scene is the kitchen, but first letās establish some facts about them. we know from muldoon and what weāre shown that:
- theyāre smart enough to use one of their own as a distraction for flanking maneuvers
- theyāre good at problem solving enough to wait until the electric fences are turned off to systematically test them for vulnerabilities
- theyāre absurdly fast. ā60 mph on open groundā fast
- they are absolutely not in a big enough enclosure
- theyāre not fed in a way that promotes hunting behavior either
so when you put all this information together and then look at the kitchen scene, i donāt believe for even one second that the āhide behind the counterā routine is fooling those two raptors for any time at all. that entire sequence of loudly scrambling around the kitchen while something that can keep pace with a cheetah pretends it canāt catch you? yeah that makes WAY more sense as play behavior than it does hunting, especially since we see numerous times that there are many things on the island easier to catch and eat than a bunch of skinny humans (this goes for the rex, too!)
the bit with the noises is also true here. more true, if anything. muldoon tells us the raptors are ambush predators, so why on earth would they get into a hunting ground and then risk scaring their prey off with the loud barking calls? āhi weāre here come out and playā is a much more sensible use of a call loud enough to hurt a humanās ears from across a room in that situation
in conclusion: damnit john your girls are bored as fuck. give them a horse ball or a frozen pumpkin stuffed with meat or something
Crucially, this is the point of the book. Hammond is much more explicitly an uncaring capitalist villian in the book, and he very much spares every expense. His dinosaurs are real animals, but there's somewhat an implication that the cloning process was biased to making the dinosaurs look more "dinosaury" (although this might be me reading more into it than was intended) and there's definitely an idea that these animals are just exhibits to Hammond. His park is set up specifically like Disney World, as though each exhibit has an animatronic in it rather than a real animal. The book deals a lot with chaos theory and the breakdown of complex systems, but a big part of it is also because these animals are neglected as fuck. The first people who know anything about what dinosaurs might require in terms of "zoo care" would be the palentolgists Hammond brings in to show off to.
The absolute contempt for these locks is palpable.
SORRY, MY SEXY TOPSTITCHING I GUESS
āļøšāļøGolden Dreamāļøšāļø
something that i DO find fascinating abt both phm and interpretations of it is when folks say things along the lines of āthe point of graceās lack of attachments isnāt that heās aroace, the point of graceās lack of attachments is that heās refused to open himself up enough to form ANY close bonds because heās a cowardā because like. not only is it very possible for both to be true, i think that reading both as being the case continues to enhance the story AND speaks a very honest truth about how being aroace might have affected his life?
like. imagine you are grace. you have a life you enjoy where you get to teach kids youāre fond of about a subject you love. youāve been hanging out with your friend marissa weekly for years (!) and you have a lot of peers on project hail mary who you respect and even have fun with. but! youāre also like 40, and you know how the world works - at the end of the day, at the end of the project, all of those people will go back to their parents and families and partners. the people whose names are on their emergency contact forms and birth certificates and marriage licenses and apartment leases. no matter how much you care about them, and no matter how much they care about you, there is always someone else in their life who is Above you, and Before you, because Thatās How The World Works.
so like⦠yeah. lmao. aroace grace not opening himself up all the way because he anticipates pain and wants to avoid that is a kind of protective hedging that i find very likely for him to engage in? even if he opens himself up to the people around him, the fact is that most of those people will only reciprocate to whatever degree they/society deem acceptable for friendship, even if they like him a lot.
which is why, imo, the very careful portrayal of grace and rockyās friendship in the phm film reads as extremely aroace-coded. because itās not ārocky specifically is Special and Likable in a way which fixes all of graceās hangups and allows him to open upā - itās ārocky has a partner to go home to, but on multiple occasions, puts grace Above and Before that in a way which grace is unused to, because grace comes from a society which culturally and legally devalues the types of relationships he wants and holds most dear.ā and once rocky shows that he is willing to reciprocate friendship and care to a degree grace could never expect from anyone on earth, grace no longer needs to maintain the kind of emotional defenses he always has. grace likes rocky and wants to be friends from the moment they meet, of course, but only lets himself form SUCH a close bond after rocky demonstrates that he, too, does not place an earth-society-style limit on the strength of their friendship. and theyāre both better off for it!
I think there's a great chance the existence of mirrors/reflective surfaces silently fucks Rocky up.
Like, Grace is in the bathroom, shaving, the curtain pulled to the side and suddenly he stops and says "stop touching my stuff". Rocky, frozen, somewhere behind him, can't fathom how Grace sensed that. He was so quiet. The razor is so loud. Grace's still facing away from him. What the fuck.
Grace repairing some panel or other and asks for a tool. Without even turning around, he says "no, not that one, the one to its left". Rocky's like are you shitting me. I know for a fact your hearing is ass. You can only see in one direction and I'm not in it!! What?!
I really like the way Project Hail Mary presents controversial research. The main concept explored in Graceās paper, that life does not need hydrogen/ water to evolve, is not proven to be correct based on what we see in the book. However, aspects of his paper are eventually proven to be true. Life can evolve outside of the Goldilocks zone, and waterās role in the development of life can be more complex than originally thought (how Rockyās biology works and evolution of life on Erid).
Itās an interesting way of exploring the presentation scientific research, you may not be correct 100 percent of the time, but the research that you conduct can pave the way to expansive thinking. While the main hypothesis might be incorrect, if methods and procedures are utilized properly, the ideas and research that results from the experiment are not wasted! They can be repurposed for future research or be used as evidence to support the prevailing line of thought. This aspect of half truths felt like a tribute to the practice of academic writing, and added a lovely layer of realism.
It goes to show that Graceās hypothesis really could have evolved to have some weight behind them if he had given it time. Stratt and the rest of his field at the beginning of his process were definitely barking up the right tree.
Bros helping each other out wdym
šThe Dance of the Moon and the Sunāļø
Okay but teacher Grace on Erid having very little say in which kids get filtered into his class, though he is aware that the selection process is super specific and that most of the kids he gets are high performers with star academics and some even with influential parents. He isn't quite comfortable enough with Eridian culture yet to object to the selection process and make it more inclusive, however. That is, until he learns about the special needs kids.
Obviously, there are Eridian kids with special needs, and a few of them even filter into his classes. But one specific type of special needs kid has never shown up in his classes, and the only reason he even learned of the condition is because Rocky and Adrien's first pebble has the condition.
It's initially quite a struggle for them to deal with, and Grace sympathizes of course, because the child will apparently have huge learning and academic struggles and will likely never be able to live on their own. That is, until he learns the details of the disability.
Basically, it's a condition where the part of the Eridian brain that gives them their eidetic memory isn't fully developed, and so these kids just... can't remember things the way most eridians do. And in a culture where an eidetic memory is the norm, all things cater to that, so not having that is actually a massive disability.
But Grace is like, so... this kid just learns the same way a human does, or something like. Which is nothing new to him, though he is somewhat boggled at how much Rocky and Adrian struggle with their infant and their "slow" learning curve, even as far as initial developmental stages. Grace, on the other hand, simply treats the kid the same way he would a human infant, and Rocky and Adrien are impressed with his patience.
But, through this, it occurs to Grace that there must be other kids out there with this disability who likely aren't getting the attention and chances in life that they deserve, because Eridian culture is particularly hostile toward this disability, and actively views those with it as unable to function in regular society.
So Grace demands that a special course be put together where he teaches kids with this disability specifically. Rocky is hesitant, as most kids with this disability are home schooled and kind of... kept shut away. But Grace insists and as one of Erid's saviors, he gets what he wants eventually.
His first class is super small, maybe only three kids because so few parents were willing to advertise that their children have this disability. And because of the stigma around it, even those who agreed to it are super unsure and want to be present during the lessons, perhaps paranoid about the impression it will leave on Savior Grace, who is so accustomed to only teaching the most gifted students.
But Grace knows exactly how to deal with these kids. Some of them have varying degrees of function when it comes to their memory banks, which isn't so unlike teaching kids on earth. And so Grace is able to introduce all these tools and teaching techniques that were previously unheard of on Erid (though very normal on Earth) like having textbooks for reference with you at all times and having strategies that are less focused on memorization for understanding, and providing these kids with tools like calculators and teaching them the art of taking notes to look back on, etc etc.
Suddenly, with all these tools that most Eridians don't need, these kids are learning at a much faster rate, and succeeding with the help of all their little tools. And because so many normal eridians are ignorant of Grace's actual biology, it's shocking to them that Savior Grace doesn't have an eidetic memory either (shocking to everyone but Rocky anyway)--that his brain functions quite similarly in capacity to these "disabled" children.
Once this news gets around, suddenly there's more kids in his special classes, and there's all kinds of discourse being inflamed because the real reason these kids can't live on their own or function is lack of support from Eridian society.
If Savior Grace, who is well respected as a genius in his own right amongst the Eridians, can function so successfully, they why can't these kids?
I dunno, I just think it's an interesting premise.
By Daniel Arthur