My take on Mileven vs Byler debate:
Since the new teaser dropped and we’re all back at each other’s throats again, I’ve been thinking about how I want the couples to play out in the next season and thought I’d share my thoughts here weee
Just to be clear, I don’t care if you like Mileven or Byler or whatever else. These characters are not real, it's not that deep. Mileven’s and Byler’s can exist in peace and harmony I promise. A fair warning though, this post is definitely more anti-Mileven because it’s not my cup of tea, although I would love to hear Mileven’s thoughts on these points!! I personally have always hated the Mike x Eleven ship, mainly because I thought it was gross how this young girl had no concept of friends or family before being thrusted into a long-term romance at the age of twelve. After being controlled and used by men her entire life. I didn’t like how Eleven asked Mike to be her brother the same day they started dating, I didn’t like how overly obsessed they were with each other in season 3, I really didn’t like having to watch them make out for multiple minutes straight. That being said, I understand why people do enjoy it; they follow the classic Damsel / Savior trope to an extent, with who being what changing depending on the season. However, in reality, their relationship has done nothing but negatively impact them both in the long run.
Jumping to season 4, their objectively worst season as a couple, we have the internal thoughts of these two characters and what they want for themselves laid out very clearly:
Mike wants to be needed by someone/feel useful.
Eleven wants to be normal, and later, grow into herself/her duty.
Already, these motivations clash. We already saw this in season 3, when Mike gets insanely jealous over Eleven and Max becoming friends. Mike needs to feel needed by someone, and that someone has always been El. That was literally the foundation of their relationship; that Mike saved Eleven from the bad men, therefore becoming a hero in her and his own eyes. However, as Eleven begins to grow away from Mike and into herself as a human being, Mike begins to stress about losing her completely. In my opinion, this is why I believe he said he loves her in season 3, moreso out of fear than out of true love (maybe fear is too strong a word; more like inadequacy on his own part).
Now, going back to season 4, this insecurity has grown substantially. Mike is now unable to tell Eleven he loves her, and Eleven constantly lies to Mike in order to be good enough for him. However, the most telling part of this season is Mike and Eleven’s relationship in relation to Will. Will does need Mike, and has expressed this time and time again over the course of all the seasons. Eleven, on the other hand, wants to grow away from Mike, and into a person outside of her relationship. I think people tend to overlook how insane El’s story is in fear of infantilizing her, however I think it’s very important to note that El’s life has been:
Raised in a lab until she was 12
Met Mike and Party, knew them for a week, began her relationship with Mike
Didn’t see Mike (or anyone, or anything, other than Hopper) for almost an entire year
Immediately resumes relationship with Mike, barely acknowledging her other friends, or doing anything with Mike other than kissing
Meets Max, gets a taste of what it’s like to be independent, immediately breaks up with Mike lol
Gets thrown into another life or death situation, forcing their relationship back together
Moves away and doesn’t know how to talk to him about how horrible her life is in fear of messing something up
Do you notice a thread here? Eleven has been constantly controlled and influenced significantly by those around her for her entire life. The closest she ever got to true independence was in California, but she was still being tethered by stress about Mike’s view of her and a complete lack of awareness of how school works (which, Joyce, homeschooling really wasn’t an option??)
People get dogged on all the time for saying El isn’t ready for a relationship, and I genuinely cannot understand why, because she clearly is not. She is a strong character with a good heart, but her complete lack of solo personal development makes the dynamic between the two feel odd and imbalanced. This is further emphasized by the insane pedestal Mike places Eleven on, calling her a superhero, something that she is, at least in my eyes, not fond of at all. Eleven hates having to be a savior all the time; she just wants to be normal. One point people like to bring up is how Mike is overly protective of Eleven in season 3 when he believes her to be over exerting herself, blaming Max for treating her like a machine. But… is this not just another form of control?? Let Eleven decide what her limits are! That is not Mike’s call. His overprotectiveness borders on obsession, clearly stemming from his need to be needed. If he isn’t there to help El, who will? Or… if he isn’t there to help El, what use is he?
Now, back to Will, more specifically his painting for Mike. As we’ve established, Mike needs to feel important. He tells Will about his worries that Eleven won’t need him anymore, as she is growing and becoming even more powerful and important to the world than she has ever been. Will then presents Mike with the painting, saying that “these past few months, she’s been so lost without you. She’s just so different from other people, and when you're different, sometimes you feel like a mistake. But you make her feel like she's not a mistake at all, like she's better for being different. And that’s what gives her the courage to fight on.”
Interestingly, this is exactly what Mike wants to hear! Eleven loves him, she needs him, she feels lost without him. And this whole speech is what motivates Mike to tell Eleven that he loves her. Except… literally none of it is true. Mike is literally telling Eleven he loves her on completely false pretenses. He can finally say I love you to a version of Eleven that Will created. Even better, Will is just talking about himself in this scene! None of what he said even applies to Eleven. Eleven does not need Mike. She has made that clear. She loves Mike, but she does not need him. There is a clear distinction there, one that is very important when discussing Mike’s feelings. And the cherry on top of this nightmare sundae is that Mike and Eleven do not speak for the rest of the season after this confession. We literally end the season with El ignoring Mike and Mike going to talk to Will. Like??? I am so sorry but the fact that Mileven shippers consider this romantic or promising is laughable to me. Mike confessing that he loves Will’s fictional caricature of Eleven is NOT romantic!!1! And I’m pretty sure El knows something was up with that confession, too. I’m excited to see how they deal with the fallout in season 5.
Okay, now for a slightly unrelated point: let’s compare Mike and Eleven to Lucas and Max. Now I think we can all agree Lucas and Max have a much stronger relationship than Mike and Eleven. If you disagree, I implore you to rewatch the show with your eyes open. From the way they handle disagreements (ex: Lucas confronting Max about ignoring him vs. Mike confronting El in season 4) to the way they are written, to the way that the actors talk about them, Lumax is clearly meant to be a much more serious, stable relationship. While we see them have disagreements, there is no doubt about how strongly Lucas feels for Max. And there never was; that was an intentional writing decision. Something that always stood out to me as noteworthy was the fact that in season 3, Lucas mentions how Max has dumped him multiple times, but that he was able to win her over every single time. These breakups are not shown on screen. Whereas with Mike and El, their breakups are literally all we see. Clearly, the writers want us to focus on how Lucas and Max have stayed a strong couple by honing in on their resilience and care regarding their relationship by mentioning, but not centering, on their teenage breakups. However, the exact opposite is true for Mike and Eleven; we are intentionally being shown their silly teenage drama and breakups, because that is what the writers think is important about their relationship. I’m honestly surprised more people don’t talk about this. And yes, Mike and Eleven do come to resolutions after their fights, but they are never very… strong, or taken seriously. People have talked this point into the ground, but Mike crumpling up two of Eleven’s letters on screen, and even throwing one in the trash, is like… wow. Interesting choice if he’s so in love with her. Especially with the way he reacts to Will’s painting. All this to say, Lumax solos.
At the end of the day, I don’t really give a shit if Mike ends up with Will or El. I would honestly prefer neither just because the absolute outrage on both sides would be funny. But I do think he’s much more compatible with Will. I will say, I think the Duffer Brothers have dug themselves into quite the deep hole here. I genuinely cannot see a way where everyone will be happy with the outcome of this season. On one hand, Mike and Eleven could resolve their issues, Mike would friendzone Will, and Will’s entire character for the past two seasons will have been dedicated to suffering and uplifting a straight couple at his own detriment. Not a great look. Especially since in season 4, literally all Will did was be sad about his feelings for Mike, while simultaneously trying to help his relationship. Maybe I have too much faith in Netflix, but the fact that the writers decided to make Will gay and in love with Mike makes me believe in Byler being canon more than anything else, solely because there was literally zero reason to include that plot line other than to make Will’s already miserable life even harder. They could’ve very easily introduced a new character in season 2 or 3 as a love interest for Will, while exploring his isolation and self-hatred by having Mike and the rest of the Party help him feel more comfortable in himself. The fact that a large portion of his character is his feelings for Mike is going to make it look very bad if they don’t end up together in the end.
nOn the other hand, if Mike and Will get together, I imagine the reaction from the GA is going to be… horrific. Not even considering the staggering amount of homophobia, the confusion alone from a casual viewer may be enough to not make them have Byler become a couple. I will say, it would be a lot to have in one season, especially since Will hasn’t even come out as gay yet in the show. I actually had to tell my mom he was gay after finishing season 4; she didn’t even pick up on it. I can’t imagine how confused a casual viewer would be if Mike suddenly broke up with his four seasons long girlfriend to get with her step-brother in the last season. But in that case, why would you let it go on this long??? And who is telling Finn Wolfhard to look at Will Byers like he hung the stars???? And why is there a One Way sign pointing to his closet????? And WHYY are they letting their cast members (ie Noah) hype it up so much if it’s not happening!????? I literally need the next season because I cannot even fathom what the plan is to fix this absolute mess of a love triangle they’ve created. It’s either gonna go down in history as the best queer slowburn ever or the worst queerbaiting case in existence. I bet I’ll enjoy it either way, since Will has been my favorite character for a while and he’s clearly taking center stage this season! Very exciting.
Congrats if you made it this far, hope this all made sense. It’s like 3am and I just wanted to write about this for some reason lollll. I havent done a rewatch in a minute so hopefully there’s nothing inaccurate in here : )
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