Subhanallah Designs

A beautiful fusion of faith and neurodivergent identity. It's more than just apparel. It's a sanctuary for those who often feel unseen.

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This design isn’t about beauty. It’s about truth - the kind you bleed out just to feel whole again.

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I wasn't sure if I should proceed with this design or not. A part of me wants to scrub it from the internet. It feels uncomfortable, but healing is not meant to be comfortable. Healing is supposed to hurt, the fire that burns is supposed to cleanse you. Embrace it.

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Revenge Series | Design Diary: Becoming the Work

Alpha and Luna were created in the same breath — two sides of the same wound. His defiance and her fury - different echoes of the same pain. Looking back, I see how much of myself I poured into them - not just the pain, but the control reclaimed through creation. Even the discarded drafts tell the story. The entire series became less about revenge against others, and more about revenge against silence.

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Revenge Series | Design Diary: The Brutality of Healing

The “healing” phase of the project was the hardest. It wasn’t healing. It was clawing through the ashes, trying to find the parts of me that survived. Designing through what felt like rewriting my own story. Every design is a choice: keep what tells the truth, delete what hides it. Healing isn’t grace - it is grit.

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Revenge Series | Design Diary: Learning to See in the Dark

[remanence-of-love]

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They called it anger. I call it version 2.0.

I’m not broken. Just rebuilt with sharper edges.

Alpha taught me to channel the chaos. Luna taught me to own it.

Together, they became a mirror. One side steel, the other fire.

Charcoal. Steel. Ember. Burnt plum. Storm violet. Dust rose.

These aren’t colors. They’re emotions frozen mid-eruption.

“She didn’t lose control. She took it back.”

This week, I stopped calling it anger. It’s drive.

Try me. See what happens.

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Still dark. Just more deliberate about it.

Alpha: Steel. Smoke. Stillness. The masculine side of “enough is enough.”

Luna: Velvet. Ash. Chaos redefined. The feminine face of power reclaimed.

Between them, there’s no light - just purpose.

This week, I looked at the wreckage and saw potential.

“They pushed the wrong soft girl.” “I stopped explaining. Start assuming.”

I realized the burn didn’t break me; it branded me.

These moodboards aren’t aesthetics - they’re autopsies of my past self.

Every color, every texture, every line: a warning label written in art.

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The calm before I decided I was done being calm.

I didn’t start with a plan. I started with rage.

Alpha was born from silence - the kind that hums before everything explodes. Dark, masculine, still. Pain, refined into power.

Luna followed. Same darkness. Different frequency. She cried, then sharpened her edges until they gleamed.

This isn’t depression. It’s transformation in the dark.

I didn’t find the light. I became it - after they burned me.

Beauty is just rage dressed nicely.

This week, I stopped explaining. I started creating.

Two designs. One message: I’m done taking your crap.

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✨ 9 Years of Subhanallah Designs ✨

It began with a word: Subhanallah — Glory be to Allah.

Back in 2016, it was just a dream — a small retail clothing store. But Allah had His own designs.

Now, Subhanallah Designs is a faith-based brand that glorifies Him through art and meaning. And from that same journey came Notes From My Fire — the flame born from pain, trauma, and the will to survive.

One brand built from gratitude. The other, from healing. Both, from Him.

Alhamdulillah for 9 years of purpose, faith, and growth.

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Introducing Notes From The Fire (NFF)

🔥 Why Notes From the Fire exists I’ve been writing for a long time. But this is the first time I’m writing for myself.

Notes From the Fire isn’t a brand. It’s not aesthetic. It’s survival.

I needed something that could hold my trauma without collapsing. Something that could bleed and still be sacred.

I am a Muslim. I am neurodivergent. And I am trying to heal without rejecting the parts of myself that have been punished for existing.

I can’t worship when I’m angry. I can’t pray when I’m shut down. And I can’t accept Allah’s qadr while resenting the pain.

Notes From the Fire is therapy that respects my limits. No therapist. No diagnosis. Just survival.

Here are snippets from notes coming in Q4:

🔹 Note 1: “…I am not hate, anger and frustration…” 🔹 Note 6: “…F them, they don’t deserve the head space…”

It’s messy. And honest. But so is healing.

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✨ Design shift reflection: From five to one

I started out with five designs. Five different expressions. All in black and white. All carrying pieces of something honest.

But the more I tried to refine them, the more I realized: Only one felt necessary.

The Arabic for Subhanallah holds the weight of everything I want SD to be. The English? It's there if you need it. The transliteration? There for clarity.

But if you understand the Arabic… you understand the design.

I thought I was designing for others. I’m not. SD is for Muslims who live in the intersection — of faith, of neurodivergence, of masking and unmasking.

We don’t need noise. We need something that speaks quietly but deeply.

I’ll share some of the earlier drafts soon - some still haunt me a little, in a good way.

For now, this is where the collection begins and ends: With Subhanallah.

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The Chosen Two

After way too much tab-hopping, I finally chose the two additions to my Q1 lineup:

✦ The Gildan 18600 Zip Hoodie - heavyweight fabric, structured, soft, and widely loved ✦ The Bella+Canvas 3501 Long Sleeve Tee - breathable, drapey, and just the right weight

These pieces give my designs room to breathe. I’ll share mockups soon, but here’s a little teaser of what didn’t make the cut - and why.

Gildan 2400 - REJECTED Gildan Ultra Cotton Long Sleeve T-Shirt S–4XL 100% cotton Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester Midweight fabric (6.0 oz) Regular fit Reason for rejection: Colors were either partially out of stock or partially discontinued, so no available colors.

Cotton Heritage M2580 - REJECTED Cotton Heritage Unisex Premium Hoodie 65% ring-spun cotton, 35% polyester Heavyweight fabric (8.5 oz) Regular fit but can run a bit tight Unisex sizing Reason for rejection: No zip

Independent Trading Co. SS4500Z - REJECTED Independent Trading Co. Fleece Zip Up Hoodie 80% cotton, 20% polyester blend fleece Midweight fabric (8.5 oz) Regular fit Unisex sizing Reason for rejection: Already have a midweight hoodie

Not every “popular” blank is the right fit. I needed something that feels good on the skin and makes a statement.

Bella+Canvas 3501 Bella+Canvas Supersoft Long Sleeve T-Shirt

XS - 2XL

100% combed ring-spun cotton

Heather colors are 52% combed ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester

Athletic Heather and Black Heather are 90% combed ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester

Lightweight fabric (4.2 oz)

Regular fit

Unisex sizing

Colors: Black Heather | Black | Navy | Maroon | Heather Forest | Dark Grey Heather | True Royal | Heather Deep Teal | Red | Military Green | Poppy | Heather Mauve | Storm | Athletic Heather | Gold | Sand Dune | White

Gildan 18600 Gildan Unisex Heavy Blend Zip Hoodie

S - 5XL

50% cotton, 50% polyester

Heavyweight fabric (8 oz)

Yarn diameter: 20 singles

Soft fleece fabric inside and outside

Air-jet spun yarn for reduced piling

Regular fit

Metal zipper

Front pouch pockets

Unlined hood with color-matched drawcord

Overlapped fabric across zipper

Double-needle stitching at shoulders, armholes, neck, waistband, and cuffs

Colors: Black | Navy | Royal | Dark Heather (out of stock) | Carolina Blue (out of stock) | Sport Grey | White (out of stock)

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DTG Hoodies, Long Sleeves, and a Lot of Reddit

These Reddit threads helped me make my final decision — no sample orders, just research and reviews.

I was looking for quality, softness, and DTG-friendliness. Here’s what helped:

🔗 Best hoodies to use and provider 🔗 Best print-on-demand company for Hoodies? 🔗 What is the Best T-Shirt for Print-on-Demand? 🔗 Looking for the best hoodie to print on (DTG)

The crowd wisdom won: I chose the Gildan 18600 Zip Hoodie and the Bella+Canvas 3501 Long Sleeve Tee - both Bella+Canvas and Gildan came up over and over in reviews, and they check all my boxes.

No fluff, no hype. Just solid, wearable canvases for bold designs.

[animentality]

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Choosing the Right Blanks (Without Samples)

This week was all about finding the right pieces to carry my Q1 designs - and I didn’t have a sample budget.

That meant a lot of Reddit scrolling, spreadsheet notes, and comparing real customer photos. I focused on two core items: ✦ A zip hoodie for colder months ✦ A long sleeve t-shirt for that in-between, layering-friendly comfort

As a neurodivergent designer, I care deeply about texture, weight, and structure. These aren’t just blanks - they’re part of the message.

Final choices? Coming soon. But the research was half the journey.

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When the Design Says It All

Some designs come out messy. Others come out clean and sharp.

Executive dysfunction ≠ disobedience

This one needed to interrupt people. That’s why the “≠” is its own element - loud, defiant, not up for debate.

My success is my revenge

Three lines. That’s all. No extras. No noise. Just clarity and closure.

Subhanallah

This final piece almost wasn’t in the collection. Originally, it said: “I pray in pieces. He still hears me.”

I loved it — and I still do. But when I placed it next to the rest of the drop, it didn’t feel like it belonged here.

So I let it go.

What came instead was simpler. Quieter. Just one word:

Subhanallah.

A reset. A breath. A full-body exhale after surviving the fire.