👽

[forever-painting-roses-deactiva]

did april even………………………happen

[godtechturninheads]

April felt like it lasted forever……but now that it’s not April I have completely no memory of any April ever and I can’t seem to recall the last 30 days of my life.

[thrusticus]

[killtheteendream]

[stand-up-gifs]

[transpondster]

[rappersdoingnormalshit-blog]

[st3fan00]

Why Wayne got socks in the jacuzzi

[whitegirlsaintshit]

those are his hooves you bitch

[pukicho]

Gentle reminder not to eat too much candy before bed.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

no

[pukicho]

This was a gentle reminder, yet your words of defiance brings me ungodly amounts of rage

[mothcub]

[amateur]

What’s happening on Twitter? 😂

[ruinedchildhood]

[ruinedchildhood]

[mangopapi-deactivated20210928]

Don’t do drake like this

[victorious]

[officialstarscream]

there are guys in my dorm who decided to play cards in the elevator

[mibunookami-blog]

see what intrigues me about college isn’t the intellectual pursuit or the bonding or whatever, its the fact that people have the freedom to do random shit like this

[haedia]

Okay, everybody, I have a story about random shit in college. When I was in college, there was a particular class I took where, no matter what time you walked into class, if you made it into the room before the professor, you wouldn’t be counted late. I mean, that’s a pretty cool policy, given how some professors are really obnoxious about attendance. 

Well, one time, a fellow student of mine was running late to class. As she reached the edge of the building, she saw her professor making it to the front steps (super long rectangular building here). He looks up from walking and he sees her. He then points to his watch, gives her a well-meaning “Look who’s late” face, and walks on inside.

What he didn’t know, though, was that this particular student was like freakishly good at bouldering and related climbing skills, so she was just like “Fuck it” and SCALED THE BUILDING!

She tapped on the window of the 4th floor classroom (the floors had like 20ft ceilings, so, she was quite a ways up there), nearly making one student piss himself. They opened the window, she rolled through, onto the floor, and slid into her seat about five seconds before the professor opened the door to the classroom. 

He did a double take, started to say “How the hell d—” when a security guard ran in, red-faced and panting, pointed at her and bellowed “STOP DOING THAT!”

[chandrar-nalaar]

omfg the amount of fucks college kids don’t give astounds me

[nicoleting]

IVE ONLY SEEN THIS POST IN SCREENSHOTS

[thesilencedmasses]

I LOVE THE IMPLICATION THAT THIS STUDENT HAS A REPUTATION FOR SCALING THE BUILDINGS

[ithelpstodream]

[theotheryongbok]

My man Jesus

[funnysowhatever2-deactivated201]

What story is that?

[ffermented-salmonella-deactivat]

Matthew 18:9

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

“And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away.”

[beachfox-deactivated20181218]

“Jesus, how can I avoid sin when all these hussies keep revealing the fact that they have bodies?!”

“Hmmm, tough call bro. Have you tried gouging out your eyes so you don’t have to see all those bodies anymore?”

“wut”

“What?”

“Shouldn’t you tell them to… stop dressing like that or something?”

“Don’t see why. It’s not their fault that the fact that they have bodies makes you a fucking sinful horndog. Gotta fix that problem yourself, buddy. Go on, blind yourself.”

“Uh….”

“Or learn to keep it in your g’damn pants no matter what they’re wearing.”

[dinosaurrainbowstarfish]

He goes on for like several examples too.

“How can I avoid like, an accidental slip of the hand when…they’re dressin like that?”

“Cut it off.”

“wut”

“Cut it off. Your hand. If it’s a problem, stop having a hand.”

“wut”

“What”

[corporationsarepeople]

“Did I fucking stutter?”

[owlcitytweets]

[beyond-authority]

Update!

[the-great-void]

Mr. City

[ddrvbiblgigb]

[garfield-baybee]

Reblog to have something good happen at 1:42 tomorrow

[mashable]

An Australian game reviewer got sick and tired of young boys trolling her and threatening to rape her, so she did what any self-respecting adult would do — she told their parents. [via]

[ryan-guy]

This is awesome!

[lacigreen]

yes more of this pls

[peelingmandarins]

me replying to messages 10 days late and blaming it on my busy schedule to hide the fact that my depression has me thinking simple correspondence is an actual workload:

[andromeda2k17-blog-deactivated2]

[theonion]

[generousdonkeyskeleton]

im crying this is the funniest ad I’ve ever seen