Okay, I think I'm totally in favor of Jean being passive and Jeremy being active, as long as they maintain their true personalities. What they do in bed doesn't alter their dynamic outside of it at all, nor does the fact that Jean is fierce and very protective, or that Jeremy is cheerful and a little mischievous, but also firm.
Now, and I think this is one of the main points of contention in the fandom when talking about thisā¦
How do you think they'll arrive at these preferences? For obvious reasons, I don't think this will be Jean's first choice at first. How do you think they'll overcome that hurdle together? I think Jean will be quite reluctant to accept that he prefers this position (again, for obvious reasons, especially after learning what Grayson forced him to say ).
Hey anon! Thanks for your ask. I had to sit with this for a while because it's a very sensitive topic. Just to be clear, this is my personal reading of Jean and not a statement about how survivors "should" recover. I'm also not pretending to be unbiased here, I prefer Jean as a bottom, so that's naturally the lens I'm viewing him through.
I think it's contentious because there's no textual answer. TSC hasn't shown Jean rebuilding a sexual relationship other than the scene where Cat tells Jean Laila will get him a toy, so people inevitably fill in the gaps with what feels emotionally satisfying to them. I'm fully aware that the "Jean prefers topping" crowd, if they read this, will probably be like, "Well, that's certainlyā¦ an opinion." And truly, they are free to roll their eyes at me. But, anyway, let's get into it for the vers and bottom Jean peoples.
I think people often treat "he'll top first for a while and eventually bottom" as a training wheels recovery of male survivors, including Jean from what I have seen around, but that's really just one trajectory. There's another romance novel that comes to mind, Save the Game by JJ Mulder, where a survivor follows exactly that path. He eases back into sex by topping despite having preferred bottoming before the assault and eventually rediscovers his joy for bottoming. It works because it makes sense for that character.
I don't think Jean necessarily needs to fit that model.
To me, "he can just top until he is ready to bottom" doesn't automatically address Jean's trauma about coercion, violence, and not having ownership over his own body and choices. Which is why my answer to "How does he discover he prefers to bottom?" is not "he tops first" but that he learns to separate what was done to him from what he actually wants. His recovery isn't about finding the "safe" position, but rather about recognizing that he gets to have preferences at all.
I imagine it beginning with learning that intimacy doesn't come with expectations. He and Jeremy build trust through affection first, then through physical intimacy that always has an off switch. They kiss, they touch, they stop whenever Jean wants to stop, and nothing bad happens because of it. As that trust grows, they start exploring sexually without worrying about roles or penetration, just figuring out what feels good, what doesn't, and giving Jean the space to discover that his body can belong to him again.
Maybe they experiment with toys or other forms of sex, maybe Jean tries topping at some point simply because he's curious, not because it's a prescribed step in his recovery. It isn't because "this is the safe version." It's simply another thing to explore together. Jeremy's curious, Jean's curious, so they try it. To be clear, I'm not imagining Jean topping for months or years as some sort of stepping stone. If it happens, it's just one experience within a much broader process of rediscovering intimacy. It doesn't actually feel more like him. It's good because it's with Jeremy, but it doesn't unlock the realization that this is how he wants to experience sex. Instead, it helps him understand that what he truly needed wasn't a different role; it was the freedom to discover what he genuinely prefers.
Then, when he chooses to bottom, it isn't because he's finally brave enough to do the "hard" thing. It's because he's reached a point where trauma is no longer making the decision for him. He realizes that what happened to him and what brings him pleasure are two entirely different things. I find it emotionally meaningful that, after so many instances of having his body used without consent, he discovers that his authentic preferences were never erased.
To wrap this up, since canon never shows us this part of Jean's life, there's not one definitive answer. This is simply the path that makes the most sense to me when I think about his character, his trauma, and the kind of relationship I think he'd build with Jeremy.
And before anyone asks: no, I'm not saying Jean would never top again. I just don't think it becomes his preferred role. If it happens once in a blue moon, I imagine it's because the circumstances, the mood, and the emotional context make it appealing in that moment, and that's it.
ANYWAY! Thank you anon for your question, and I hope my answer was satisfactory (I'm sorry if you were expecting a short, very NSFW answer in the smutty side of things...).
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