it's my time.

♡ she/they ♡ '02 liner ♡ 1st year med ♡ literature + languages + life ♡ main blog : @melancholydew

[sunshine-nyctophiliac]

[ 13 . 02 . 2022 , 2212 ]

as i sit here i think of when a person i admire said "the closer i get to my dreams, the farther i get from my home" and i think of how it resonates with me right now. the past is filled with regrets but i hope the future won't be.

i start med school tomorrow. i also start a life far, far away from my family and everything i have known and loved my whole life. i hope i make my dreams come true. i hope the regrets of the past are overshadowed by the triumphs of the future. i hope as i fly, i won't lose my stead.

[sunshine-nyctophiliac]

[ 27.01.2022 ]

as my internship draws to an end i realise that i actually enjoyed the monotony of it all. i enjoyed earning my own money for the very first time, though it was a meager amount... i think working part time in coffee shops and stores is something i would look forward to in all the uni breaks.

as the start of med school draws close, all i can do is try not to let myself be daunted by how monumental the shift in my life is going to be. i hope all falls into place. i hope i thrive, for the very first time. -t

now reading : conversations with friends, sally rooney

now listening : k. , cigarettes after sex

[20o1-deactivated20240129-deacti]

I am not where I want to be, but I’m proud that I’m not where I used to be.

[sunshine-nyctophiliac]

breathing after a long, long time .

[sunshine-nyctophiliac]

books and cafes .

[sunshine-nyctophiliac]

3 weeks after my big exam and it's exhilarating how human i feel... last night my friends and i sneaked out in the middle of the night, and got chased by dogs. last week i got drunk for the first time and i felt new. couple of days ago i went on the metro alone and realised just how old i am now . i've bought more books than i can read and i've been more places and met more people than i have in years . i feel so human. so alive . i hope i never have to lose it again . and i hope i keep finding it in new things .

[sunshine-nyctophiliac]

morning coffee on D-day ;;

2.5 years of intense hard work, of nights and days and nights again spent working , of piles and piles of questions solved and stacks of notes revised till the edges frayed, of all the tears shed and wiped off, all have led to today where those 3 hours decide my future. i hope i dont let myself down. i hope i do justice to myself. i CAN do this. i WILL do this. i AM capable. i WILL ace this.

-tan

[sunshine-nyctophiliac]

doing my best and hoping it’s enough ;

as the days and nights blend into one and the seasons seem to pass in the monotony of my textbooks, all i can do is gather up the strength to live the very same day again and again, everyday. all i can hope is that at the end of the road, it’s success that is waiting for me.

[sunshine-nyctophiliac]

really fortunate coz my dad made a secondary’s study space for me because my main one I said shrouded in construction noise all day 🥺💖

[sunshine-nyctophiliac]

🧚🏼‍♂️study space revamp

[sunshine-nyctophiliac]

welcome to my messy study space!!

[sunshine-nyctophiliac]

nothing pretty about 6 hour online classes on the weekend ....

[sunshine-nyctophiliac]

day 29/30 of productivity:

5hrs today... it's been hard focussing but im just trying to keep myself healthy and find happiness in small things (ft. a part of my study space for no reason at all)

[sunshine-nyctophiliac]

studies are intense but we were blessed with a beautiful sky yesterday <3

[sunshine-nyctophiliac]

11.59 am : how i use the 15 minute breaks between classes ;;;

[sunshine-nyctophiliac]

( day 11/30 of productivity ) :

4 hours today because i had 6 whole hours of classes (thanks institute). i am stressed and exhausted.

[sunshine-nyctophiliac]

10.39 am : 2nd class of the day and i'm already struggling to keep my eyes open....