Omgoodness! The way you write Kaz so tenderly??? Are you taking requests? If you are, what do you think about one of the rival gangs using Tailor powers to create a doppelgänger of the reader to infiltrate the crows? They don’t know the extent of our relationship with Kaz, so he is confused with the silent treatment and lack of your usual quips. In reality his lover is being held somewhere near the harbour and is in need of help? :) Absolutely no worries if not, have a lovely rest of the month!
⋅˚₊‧ 𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅ The Harbour of Lies ⋅˚₊‧ 𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅
˚.⋆𐙚 Parings: Kaz Brekker x Reader ˚.⋆𐙚 Synopsis: You are replaced, but Kaz grows wary of your actions. He will stop at nothing to find out the truth. ˚.⋆𐙚 Word Count: 4,989 ˚.⋆𐙚 a/n: ahh thank u, I really love to write about Kaz without writing outside of his character too much lolol :)) I am 100% taking requests and loved writing this one!! such a good idea <333 I loved it so much it became the longest oneshot I've ever written 😭 I'm so sorry it took so long but I hope I wrote it as good as u imagined <33 ˚.⋆𐙚 warnings: a little angsty (sorry I love some good angst) violence, mentions of torture, kaz going crazy, some kind of drug to make reader sleepy
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It was a small fight, you told yourself, hoping to get over the aching pressure building up in your chest. Not even a fight, just an argument.
You'd both sleep it off (although you knew you wouldn’t get a minute of rest tonight), and in the morning, you’ll both have realized how ridiculous you two were being. You’ll wake up, say something to him in passing, and then everything will fall back into your usual steady rhythm.
You were just taking a breather. Just a second to collect your thoughts and try not to feel so hurt.
Kaz didn’t yell at you. No, he wasn’t the type to raise his voice, especially not to you. Regardless of his volume, it was his tone that got to you. The way he said his words to you.
For a slight second, barely a fragment of a moment, his tone was cool, calculated, almost cruel. A taunting voice as he said, “And I’m supposed to believe you have the mental capacity to know this?”
You shook your head, trying to get the thoughts out, as if you could physically throw them off.
The night air caressed your face exactly the way you needed it to. For a second, you could have sworn it was Kaz’s touch against your skin.
For a moment, you could have sworn it was his footsteps approaching you now. You didn’t hear the door opening, but you were far too into your head to notice much.
The sound of metal hitting the floor rhythmically had you instinctively hiding a small grin on your face.
He had come. Kaz had never come to you after a fight, but it mattered little to you. He was here now.
A hand gripped your shoulder, and for that split second, you couldn’t think of anything else but of how wrong it felt. How the touch brought you back to reality, as if ice was being poured over you.
Too late, you realized. You had no time to react, not when all your guards had been down, not when you were expecting a touch far different than the violent one you were faced with now.
Kaz Brekker didn’t come for you. It was not his footsteps approaching, not his cane hitting the floor, and not his calming touch.
Instead, cold hands grabbed you, covering your mouth, keeping your hands behind you. Panic seized throughout you before metal hitting your head was the only thing you felt.
Black spots began to cloud your vision, and it was only a matter of time before your own consciousness had started slipping.
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Kaz Brekker had been wondering for the past quarter hour whether or not he should confront you. He knew that if he did not, he would be forced to deal with the consequences of his own actions for the rest of the night.
He wouldn’t get an ounce of sleep tonight, that much was sure. It wasn’t all that different most of his nights.
But this night would be different. He could feel it in his bones, digging into his skin, that something would change tonight.
The feeling stuck to his skin the way honey would. He didn't know what it was, and he didn’t like it much.
Not sleeping was one thing he was used to. However, you would be occupying his thoughts all night, so it meant that work was something he wouldn’t be able to get done, either.
He had never been able to do much work when it was you who would cloud his thoughts, which was almost always.
He had wondered—what were you doing now? He had seen you leave through the back door, but had you left to your bedroom already? Or perhaps you were still out in the cold, trying to forget what had happened.
And there it was again, the one thing that kept circling in his mind, over and over again—you.
A sigh not unlike that of a growl escaped his lips. He would go after you, he decided. His mind could not bear another minute with your presence living in his head rather than in his arms.
He was already on his feet before his mind could prevent him from rethinking his decision, rushing through the empty halls.
He would deal with this tonight, and that was that. He would resolve this, and go back to his work.
But when he rested his hand on the knob of the door, doubt began to creep into his mind. Maybe you hadn’t even wanted to see him. Maybe you would send him away.
Behind that door is where you would stand. Without allowing himself to think, he opened it, expecting you. Instead, he was greeted with the darkness clouding his vision.
Kaz Brekker was too late. By the time he had gone to find you, you had already left. You were likely already in your room, trying to forget about him tonight.
With a sigh, he went back inside, trying to do the same.
｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ
Morning came painfully slow. Kaz Brekker could not stop pondering over the words you would say to him, and the words he would respond back with.
You were likely to say something witty, perhaps even a joke. He would respond back carefully, something to make you forget he ever said those cruel words last night.
You did not deserve them—he was only frustrated. He needed some space, and the only way he knew how to get that was by pushing people away.
And it worked, perhaps too well. He own voice repeated in his head, finding new ways to torture himself for what he said to you.
Kaz’s thoughts were interrupted by you—always by you—walking into the kitchen with a stager. The sight of you being so unsteady deeply unnerved him. It was so unlike your usual graceful movements.
One minute passed, and then two. His scowl only deepened as he counted the seconds passing by without conversation.
You were still angry with him. This small fact only unnerved him more. He spared a glance at you, only to find you wearing a scowl similar to his.
The sight sent a chill down his spine. This wasn’t like you. Surely, it couldn’t have been him that had upset you so much.
It truly was something he admired about you; you never let his foul mood ruin your own spirit. You were always full of joy and kindness.
“Is there something you need, Brekker?” You asked, your tone cold. He only blinked at you, shoving his nausea down his throat. Your words were sharp, almost calculating. Like you were playing an act for an audience.
Calling him by his last name seemed to put a distance between you that he didn’t know how to close.
He thought for a second that it was almost like you were trying to mirror him.
Seconds passed by without an answer, and Kaz grew more uneasy by the second. You hadn’t looked at him, not once. You continued to stir your drink, seemingly content with the silence.
“Nothing I cannot do for myself.” He responded, only to give him a few more seconds to stare at your face before forcing himself to walk away.
Your eyes were sunken, as if you didn’t get enough sleep last night. If you were tired, he could understand. If you needed space, he could allow that.
It took everything in him to keep himself from studying every microexpression on your face, every movement of your body.
He had forced himself to walk away.
｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ
Consciousness slipped through you for hours. You couldn’t make out much, other than some half coherent words every couple of hours.
It was hard to tell how much time had passed. Hours, you were certain. How many, you weren’t sure.
Time passed quickly when you were injected with a liquid that made you so sleepy you couldn’t even remember your own name.
It left your brain hazy, your mind all foggy.
You had meals and were able to go to the bathroom, and that was that. You slept and slept and slept until your head was pounding.
Sometimes you would lay with your eyes closed, just to be with your own mind for a few minutes. You heard the soft pulling of water somewhere near you. The harbour. You were close to it.
The sound of the waves lulled you to peace, something that you hadn’t felt since you left the Slat.
You pulled on the ropes digging into your skin again, but they didn’t move a single inch. Loud voices echoed from another room, making you halt and pause.
“Brekker doesn’t know a thing. She looks exactly like her… You couldn’t even tell… No, everything’s fine…”
Kaz. The name jumped from your thoughts. You couldn’t think straight most of the time, but he was clearer than anything.
Kaz was going to get you out of this mess. You were too weak to do it yourself, and he would know if you weren’t yourself.
Kaz would notice you were gone.
You close your eyes, steadying your breathing, collecting your thoughts.
He had to.
｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ
Days passed without a normal conversation from you. You stopped meeting his eyes, stopped walking into his office for nothing more than his presence, stopped acting like yourself.
Everyone felt it. Your spirit had dampened, tainted by something Kaz didn’t know how to clean.
Earlier this morning, he had seen you drinking coffee, holding your cup with your left hand.
He had simply brushed it off as training; you had been saying for months how you felt that any skilled person would need to learn how to use both hands equally.
The curious thing, however, was that you put no sugar into your coffee. No sweetener, no cream, nothing more than the bitter taste of caffeine.
Jesper had laughed about something then, something so stupid in comparison to you.
And you hadn’t even spared a glance in his direction.
You never said anything when Jesper joked, nothing more than a small giggle and an eye roll, something you didn’t bother to do now.
But your eyes had always panned over to Kaz after. You would share a look, one that only you two would notice. A half hidden glance full of mischief and secrets.
Seconds passed, until Kaz realized you wouldn’t meet his stare.
You simply stood, sipping your drink, and acting as if you couldn’t wait to leave. You leaned on one leg, then the other, your eyes darting around the room.
Until your eyes finally landed on Kaz. You two stared at each other for a full second before you looked away.
The boulder on Kaz’s heart only became heavier. Your eyes were not the same as they once were. That spark he could have sworn came from the stars was now dim, almost completely removed.
You didn’t stare at him as though you were angry, or sad. You stared at him as if you didn’t even know him.
The thought weighed on him, trapping him, until the room got too small, too warm, too loud.
Panic rose enough for him to grab his cane and walk out of the room.
He had no other choice than to walk away from the memories that would haunt him far into the day.
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The scent of saltwater was beginning to make your head ache more, if that was even possible.
The air felt sticky, clinging onto you. You couldn’t tell if it was humidity or blood on your skin.
Every time you woke up, a new injury found itself on your body. Pain was beginning to feel normal. You couldn’t remember the last time you woke up without feeling so much of it.
Your captors laughed easily, talked too loudly. They spilled their words the same way a fool would with their gold.
The Lime Dions. Paid tailor. A double. Their words slid into your ears, all beginning to make sense. They were all fragments to a plan you were starting to piece together.
It was clear. They wanted you gone, wanted someone else to wear your skin.
Kaz would figure this out, sooner or later.
Problem was, you didn’t know how much longer you were going to last.
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The shift in your actions sharpened over days. You stood farther from Kaz, keeping an odd distance he tried to close.
But the closer he got, the more you pushed away. He could only faintly remember the scent of your lavender shampoo and the soap on your skin.
He would stand outside your bedroom door some nights, waiting for the courage to knock before deciding to walk away.
He would stare at your hands in the morning as you drank coffee and would tremble at the thought of placing his hand over yours.
He would wonder, over and over again, how he could fix it. How he could fix you.
But things were becoming stranger.
When he asked you a simple question—something he was aware that you knew the answer to—you stumbled with a quick, “I don’t know.”
Kaz’s pulse almost stopped. You knew, of course you knew. He wasn’t sure why you were pretending as if you didn’t.
He had asked only to hear your voice ramble for a few seconds, but your answer made it clear you weren’t interested in making small talk.
Your words were always clipped, your soft reassurances were replaced by odd silence. It loomed over you now, hanging like a dark secret.
Things became strange. It was as if you lost memories or didn’t care to recall them.
“You noticed it too, right?” Jesper asked, whispering. “She’s not acting right. Like someone took her and won’t give her back. I don’t think she’s ever been upset for this long.”
The words were truer than Jesper knew. Kaz couldn’t explain.
There was something wrong with you, horribly wrong. He couldn’t explain that you never looked at him that way, never carried yourself with hatred, never called his name with anything but affection.
“Are you still fighting with her?” Jesper questioned half heartedly. “She’s looking at you like you’re trying to collect her debts.” He mused, a small grin on his face.
A withering look from Kaz was all he received before he decided to wander off.
His eyes tracked over your movement, every twitch of your arm, every breath you took, every glance around the room.
Inej talked mindlessly with you, a small grin on her lips, one you didn’t mirror.
“It’s been a long time since we danced, hasn’t it?” Inej asked, sitting directly across from you.
“Far too long.” You responded, smiling back at her.
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
The word repeated itself over and over in his head. That wasn’t your smile, wasn’t the way your eyes creased when you laughed, wasn’t the way your mouth curved.
Inej’s eyes darted to Kaz’s once the words left your mouth.
There was one detail you wouldn’t have said.
You had never danced with Inej before. You always said you would, always promised, but would forget yourself in drinks or games instead.
｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ
The room was becoming too hot, too humid. The smell was starting to drive you crazy. Your wrists were raw, and you were positive you would spill blood if they got any tighter.
So much water around you, and yet your throat was aching from the lack of it.
As the days passed by, your captors had gotten lazier and far more violent. They stopped feeding you as much, stopped injecting you every couple of hours.
You wish it had lasted longer than a day before they injected you again, just moments before.
You were hungry and thirsty, but you were still aware. You no longer lived half deluded, and could get hours in your own mind.
It would be a couple of hours before your mind forgot itself again.
The floor creaked with every step someone took, always making your heart stop dead in your chest. Muffled whispers were all around you.
“Just a few more days,” a faceless voice chuckled. “Brekker and his crew are getting too comfortable. They let their secrets pour out of themselves.”
It was hard to believe they got anything out of the Crows. They were all mindful of their words, always careful of their tone.
If they believed they got more than a couple of useless secrets, then it was clear they didn’t know Kaz Brekker at all.
You tried not to think about your double. Tried not to picture her living your life, wearing your face, talking to Kaz the way you did. The thought alone made you nauseous.
But you knew Kaz through and through. He would see through her act. He would pick her apart, skin by skin, until the truth bled through her.
｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ
The door to Kaz’s office slammed open, breaking his thoughts. “Kaz,” Inej’s voice was shaky, almost desperate. “I was down by the harbor. There’s talk going around. They’re saying… Kaz, they’re saying that the Dime Lions bought a tailor to create doubles.”
“That’s quite an expensive hobby.” Kaz responded, not bothering to look up from the papers scattered on his desk.
“They’re not doing it for fun.” Inej grumbled, voice breathless. “They’re keeping someone near the harbour. A girl from a well known crew. Someone who looks like…” Inej met his stare now, unable to finish her sentence.
Unable to think of the horrible reality they might be faced with.
You. Kaz knew it, without her even having to say it. He didn’t need her voice to form the thoughts growing in his mind now.
But he could see now—see that it was gone because they took you from him.
The warmth you radiated around The Slat, the kindness you showed everyone was gone. Kaz believed it could be because he broke something in you. He thought that his darkness might have spread to you, like the disease it was, and he wanted to punish himself every day for it.
Kaz Brekker relied heavily on his instinct. He had to, if he wanted to survive in the barrel.
And he was never wrong. He had known something was wrong; had known there was a lingering darkness that couldn’t have come from you.
You were gone. Truly gone—your presence had been absent from the Slat for far longer than he knew.
The realization hit him all at once, making his chest feel restricted, like his heart would stop beating any second without his life source.
He would find you, he vowed. Nothing was going to stop him now, there were no boundaries now that the only line he had had been crossed.
You were the last of his humanity, the last thing that kept him from ruining himself in the cruelty that called to him.
He would go after you the same way he had gone after anything he had ever wanted in his life; desperately, violently, and without any qualms of what he would ruin in the process.
The only thing that truly mattered now was getting you back the same way you had left.
And he would get you back. He would use every tool as his disposal to have you return safely.
｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ
A soft knock echoed through Kaz’s office, jolting him back to reality.
Inej was off finding exactly which warehouse you were in, Jesper was preparing everything necessary to leave.
It was time for Kaz to deal with another problem he had wanted to confront the past couple of days.
“Come in.” He announced, anticipating the footsteps about to walk inside.
And sure enough, the woman who was wearing your face walked in.
His eyes never left her, not once as she walked inside. He couldn’t help but notice all the differences between you and her now.
She looked like an empty copy, something that could never measure up to you. How could he not see it before?
“I was told you needed to see me.” She said, her tone clipped, obviously rehearsed.
“Remind me,” Kaz began, a cruel smirk on his face. “What were the words you said to me the first time you finished a job?”
She blinked, fidgeting with her fingers. “Which part?” She faltered, glancing nervously.
“You know which part I’m asking about.”
Her lips parted, eyes creased almost to slits. A small shrug before she said, “I can’t recall.”
Kaz’s jaw ticked, his stare hardening. You had whispered something to him, something so small to you, but it had left a mark on him.
“I will never forget the weight of kruge on my hand, nor on my heart.”
She stiffened at his words. “Of course. Yes, I remember now.” She murmured, her gaze never leaving the floor.
“Do you? Because I could have sworn you aren’t who I believed you to be.”
Those simple words had her head snapping up.
And for the first time, emotion had finally shown through her eyes.
Fear. Right before she turned around and bolted out the door.
｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ
Sleep came in portions, broken by fear. You awoke to the sounds of shouting, bulleting wheezing through the air, and—
The sound of a cane hitting the floor woke you out of your trance.
Tap, tap, tap, tap.
Your heart raced rapidly. A cane. Kaz’s cane. You nearly sobbed with relief, resting your head down.
“Have your spirits finally broken?” A deep voice echoed in your ears.
And it wasn’t Kaz. You were merely hallucinating, imagining what freedom might taste like.
Instead, a man whose face you could never remember taunted you with a snarl before closing the door shut behind him.
｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ
Your double walked into the Slat, wrists bound together, head held down. She wore your face, your clothes, but was so unlike you it made Kaz uneasy.
“Saints,” Jesper muttered, shaking the chill off his body. “She looks exactly like her. It’s freaking me out.”
Inej folded her arms, eyes sharper than they were a day ago. “Not an exact replica. Her face looks different.”
Kaz’s cane tapped on the floor, echoing. Silence followed as all eyes watched him.
“What will you do?” Her voice rang out, hollow. “Kill me? Torture me? I won’t tell you anything.”
Kaz’s throat tightened on itself. He stepped closer, the sound of his gloves tightening on his cane. Every urge screamed at him to punish her, make her pay for using you as a weapon, for wearing your face like a trophy.
But he couldn’t hurt her. He knew this, deep in his bones. Not while she was wearing your face.
But he couldn’t allow her to walk around with something that belonged to you, either.
“No, not kill you.” He mused, standing straight. “That would be too easy. I don’t waste my talents on cheap imitations.”
The words dug into her skin, he could tell. Her face hardened as anger settled in.
“Instead, I will give you a message. I will say this once, and only once. You are to leave Ketterdam, and you are to never come back. Your face will go back to normal. But your habits will stay the same. I know who you are. I know what you’re like. If I ever find you back here, I will come for you. I won’t hesitate to kill you slowly, and I’ll let the woman whose face you're wearing watch. You are never to step foot here again. Do you understand?”
Your double flinched back, shuddering in her skin.
Kaz lifted a small dagger, cutting the ropes before meeting her gaze.
“If you are not gone by midnight, I’ll have you hunted.”
He barely finished his words before she bolted out, rushing until there was no trace of her left.
Kaz was left with silence, Inej and Jesper watching him. They didn’t have to ask why he’d done it—they knew.
And they were ready to bring you back.
｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ
The warehouse was dim, smelling of fish and salt. Men sat around on crates, talking openly, laughing.
The sight filled Kaz with a rage he couldn’t explain. You were here, somewhere, and they had the gall to allow themselves around you.
As if they deserved to live in the same world as you.
His cane scraped across the floors, getting louder by the second. They didn’t hear it until it was too late.
They didn’t see Inej until she was already there, working her way through them like a ghost.
They didn’t see Jesper until his bullets barked through the air, reaching every target he aimed for.
They didn’t see Kaz until he struck through them, only one thing on his mind.
There was a door to his left, one that was calling out for him. He wanted revenge, wanted so badly to watch every single one of their eyes as life left them.
But he wouldn’t give anyone a chance to take you again. Never again would he let you face such danger.
He rushed through the door, knowing Inej and Jesper could handle anything behind him.
All that he saw was you, sat with hollow cheeks, blood all over you.
The anger he had left behind just seconds ago bubbled up into his chest again. He wanted to turn back and torture every man in that room, wanted to watch them beg for their lives as he denied them it.
He kneeled to you, his gloved fingers working at the ropes binding you with quick movement. He let out a soft curse as he realized his gloves were making the task difficult.
Quickly, he shed them off his hands, working the knots until they fell away.
They hit the floor with a thud, causing you to finally look up at him. He could tell you were half delirious, not fully conscious.
But then you smiled at him. Your real smile, where your eyes creased, and your mouth curved on both sides.
And your eyes, he would have done anything to see them again.
He couldn’t imagine what you had been through. Your gaze met his, and your eyes sparkled like a fire. Like the stars he had wished to see so many nights. His breath caught in his chest, vibrating with emotions he wasn’t ready to name.
“Am I dreaming again?” You murmured, a grin still evident on your face.
Something unspoken passed through his chest, carving itself into his heart.
“Not this time.” He whispered back. He wanted to touch your skin, just a finger to caress your face. He wanted so badly to allow himself so many things.
“I knew you would come for me.” Your hands trembled as you tried to raise them.
He couldn’t touch you, couldn’t offer what his chest ached to give, but his eyes burned with the intensity all the same.
“It took you a while, but I knew you would.” You said, lips curving, even as your voice became shaky.
And for the first time in days, Kaz allowed the corner of his mouth to twitch upwards. It was barely a smile—but so full of emotion it made your heart jump.
“Only a fool would think anyone could be a copy of you.”
Relief cracked through your heart, until a soft sob left your lips.
Kaz shoved his gloves back onto his hands, before lifting both of his arms under you.
The last thing you felt before sleep called for you was your weight being lifted into the air. You felt so free, so peaceful.
The soft breeze felt so good on your skin.
Home. You were going home. The thought made you so happy, a smile was left on your lips as you slowly slipped away.
Kaz Brekker couldn’t keep his eyes off of you the entire way back.
He wouldn’t allow anyone else to hold you, wouldn’t allow you out of his sight.
He spent every moment going over every line on your face, every crease.
He allowed himself to run his gloved hand over your face. You leaned into it, even in your sleep.
The water didn’t come. But he wouldn’t push for now.
Instead, he made a promise.
Never again.
