Toast on Tumblr

28, german, he/him. Full time toast, part time goose. Mainly here for "The Dragon Prince" content. My puns are horrible, but locally sourced and GDPR compliant.

[random-selenophile]

“People are allowed to dislike things” WRONG! No one is allowed to dislike Rayla

[suppentoast]

Rayla Gang unite

[thankeschoen]

girl realising they’re a lesbian call that 💡yurika  

[beautifulterriblequeen]

-ka meaning “dedicated practitioner of” really elevates this post. perceive the layers

[luckyladylily]

So the thing is boobs really do be jiggling. If having breasts has taught me anything it is that the ladies frolic. I don't even have that large of boobs but every time I go down some stairs all I can think about is that stupid quote about boobing breastily down the stairs or whatever it is because God Damn.

But anime and video game boob jiggling is like. The most uncanny valley shit I've ever seen nine times out of ten. You would think people this horny about tits would have actually looked at some but I guess not.

What we really need is some pervert to compile the ultimate visual guide to boob bouncing physics that's just like 500 hours of meticulously organized videos of breasts of different size and shape and under different fabrics bouncing around from a wide variety of physical movements so horny game devs can finally get it right and I don't have to be creeped out by women who appear to have surgically implanted softballs in their chest under skin made of rubber bands.

[beautifulterriblequeen]

I'm convinced boobs rubberband about like bolos because men look down for art inspiration and see their own balls. Gaboingoboingo, lads, that's the ticket.

[luxis-txt]

nsfw jaja kenne ich

norden

süden

fosten

westen

[dhanagreifschreibt]

Sollte ich in absehbarer Zeit das zeitliche segnen (hoffentlich nicht), komme ich als Geist zurück und ziehe Charles Dickens' Weihnachtsgeschichte mit Friedrich Merz ab

[xxspacevampirexx]

Wünschte oberkörperfrei würde nicht bedeuten, dass mein oberkörper frei von kleidung ist, sondern dass ich frei von meinem oberkörper bin

hashtag keinoberkörpermehr hashtag obenohnemorelikeohneoben

[stuckinapril]

Literally cannot believe I was ever scared of getting older like this is awesome. Learning so many new things about myself & reacting to things that used to get under my skin so differently. This is so sexy.

[sg1posting]

in love with the personalised hat set up for sg1. teal’c is a man that needs no hat, carter and o’neill have the standard military style cap and daniel jackson has the archeologist round brim canvas hat 9000 to make sure to establish his non threatening nerd cred

[tategaminu]

I hope TDK gets popular enough so we can have Rayla and Callum in Fornite.

[suppentoast]

Tonight on "Bottom Prince": Rayla kills a guy, Callum unlocks the Bullet Arcanum and Ezran rebuilds Katolis using only staircases

[liebelesbe]

Sportunterricht zu benoten war die dümmste Idee aller Zeiten btw.

"Hmm, Kinder sollten mehr Sport machen... Lasst uns den Kindern die außerschulisch eh schon Sport machen gute Noten geben, und den Kindern die eher unsportlich sind mit schlechten Noten die letzte kleine übriggebliebene Lust auf Sport komplett wegnehmen!"

[suppentoast]

Eine der besten Sachen am Erwachsen-sein ist keinen verdammten Sportunterricht mehr zu haben.

Sport / Bewegung kann nämlich actually ganz ok sein, wenn du es on your own terms machen kannst und nicht die ganze Zeit (in)direkt gesagt bekommst, was für ein widerwärtiger wertloser Wurm du bist, weil du nicht in 10 Minuten 5 mal um die Turnhalle sprinten kannst

[deutsche-bahn]

New favourite Genre auf Pinterest: halbherzige Rezeptseiten, deren KI-generierte Bilder offensichtlich am Konzept "Laugenbrezel" verzweifeln:

Backwaren-Bodyhorror.

[suppentoast]

Honestly? Hätt ich Bock drauf, sieht lecker aus

[emilwasalone]

Live Laugh Lüften

[tessabennet]

Er: Junge,

Ich, ohne Ausbildung, ohne Auto, ohne Festanstellung, ohne eigene Praxis, mit Löchern in der Hose und Nase, mit lauter Musik und mit Freunden, die alle Drogen nehmen: 😶

[jessiesjaded]

[kuhjungewieduu]

eine meiner lieblings sachen an der deutschen sprache ist der fakt dass wespe und lesbe sich reimen, weil meine wohnung als lesbennest zu betiteln wird mich halt niemals nicht zum lachen bringen

[divorcedwife]

studying history is like. here's to another beautiful day of not being pregnant and of having no obligation to ever be. thank you women who fight for abortion and contraception and independance from men for another beautiful day of not being pregnant and of having no obligation to ever be

[beetroot-murdertime]

*pat pat pat pat pat*

Reblog to pat the Bernd weil he has verdient n paar headpats