lean mean meme machine

Mika, they/them/theirs - got tired of editing my age every year so let's just say I'm old - Pokemon, memes, generally whatever I'm into. The unholy origin of Hobo and Glunkus. Icon art by honeymoonkiss. Background by sketchinthoughts

[kilncreatures]

hmmm. bnugny

[crabussy]

crying tears of joy over this photo

[birds-in-posts]

Kākāpō (Strigops habroptilus)

[crabussy]

every time I share a photo of a kākāpō and someone goes "lol it's sirocco the one who shagged a man's head" I get so irritated because there's more than one kākāpō on earth but. after much digging. no this is literally sirocco. this IS in fact and undoubtedly the parrot that shagged some dude's head. happy birthday you crazy bachelor

[gallusrostromegalus]

If i had a nickel for every time I saw a tumblr post where someone recognized One Parrot Specifically from a photo and then proceeded to call out That Specific Parrot for various Parrot Crimes, I'd have two nickels which isn't a lot but it's weird that it's happened twice.

[lesvegas]

passing in public makes me feel like white shrek

[lesvegas]

literally how it feels

[darkmaga-retard]

[querulousglare]

If only there were some sort of facility where teenagers could be taught new skills.

[grimthetransman]

Anyway, here's a helpful diagram. When I was hit on the temple this was one of the harder things I had to reteach myself. Don't be shamed into not asking questions, and it's alright if it takes you a while to figure it out. Don't let someone make you feel bad for learning new things, or relearning old ones.

Sometimes, unfortunately, you have to teach yourself. YouTube is a valid option.

[yeahokayillreblogthat]

yeah okay ill reblog that :]

[cricketcat9]

If you don't know...here it is.

[nightingem]

really incredible website just dropped where you larp being an ai and respond to people's "prompts."

Be an AI, answer prompts, trigger a RAM crisis

some fun responses i have gotten so far.

[littleguysdaily]

Great website

[road0flife]

[avalonjoan]

@massachusetts-official

[angry-ace]

Extremely funny sentence

[milfsisyphus]

easier for the owner of LED headlights to pass through the eye of a needle than to enter the kingdom of heaven.

[natalieironside]

office chair hungry, feed it skirt hems

[basic-bamboo]

You wanna let your long skirt get tangled up in my wheels so bad

[krystal-prisms]

chair Wheel perfec t size for put skirt in to n\ap! inside very Soft and Comfort skirt not get stuck put hem in Chair Wheel. Put Hem In Chair Whe. no problems ever in chaair wheel because good Shape and Support for skirt hem weak of big skirt hem. Achair wheel yes a place for a hem put hem in chair wheel can trust chair for giveing good love to skirt. friend chair

[kilncreatures]

walky pink shark

[hotvampireadjacent]

[bish0ps]

[crying-over-really-dumb-things]

A second Dollar General has hit the server

[crying-over-really-dumb-things]

[veryberryskye]

yeah i like to give my blessing to the most pathetic looking weak little knight at the tournament. she can’t even look me in the eye when i give her my flower and she stutters out that she’ll do her best or something of the like. i think its funny when she has to cry and beg my forgiveness and i get to say “such a shame, i suppose my hand in marriage will have to go to someone else…” and then i get to hear her whimper like a dog. ive done this like 6 times alrea-

did she just win.

[the-stew-goblin]

I shall prepare a stew for the wedding! Extra salt!

[veryberryskye]

wait wait wait stew goblin wait

[noccolibroccoli]

So I had a hysterectomy today (hooray!) and I brought along my stuffed orca, Shamu, as a comfort object. And everyone i interacted with during my pre-op was like "Oh! Who's this?" so I was telling them all about him, how he's been with me since I was 9 and gone on every single vacation and road trip, and they were telling me about their own stuffed buddies (one lady said she still has hers after 40 years!) and all of this while I was signing consent forms and providing a list of the things I'd brought with me, you know, small talk.

So then a nurse comes over and goes "Okay, I've got some stickers I'll put on your things so we know they're yours" and I'm like "OK cool" so she puts a sticker on my coat and stickers on my bags of clothes and then she turns to Shamu and I'm like "oh I guess he gets a sticker too"

But no. She pulls out a hospital bracelet that's an exact copy of mine and slaps it on his tail, like so:

And i was delighted by this, so I took a picture to send to my friends, who were equally delighted, and were cracking me up with their reactions (like so:)

Anyway, they take me back and put me under, and when I awake groggily a few hours later it takes me a minute to get my bearings, so I don't notice Shamu at first. But then I realize he's tucked up next to me in the gurney, so I grab him, and my hand touches gauze.

And I'm like "huh?" so I look at him and I realize

They gave my fucking orca a hysterectomy

[vocabulary-altering-posts]

PHRASE ADDED!

"They gave my fucking orca a hysterectomy"

CHARACTER ADDED!

Shamu (No, Not That One) (Against Tumblr Guidelines For Some Reason?) (Got A Hysterectomy)

[byjove]

who could have pulled all the plastic bags out of the plastic bag full of plastic bags during my 2 hour nap? this is crazy. what kind of monster does that?

[bigboyhammerhead]

omg she has. one Quastion

[byjove]

inspecting her toes for clues I think

[depsidase]

[wizardarchetypes]

i had a nightmare last night i was at a marina with my friend and there were saltwater crocodiles swimming all around and she said, "don't worry, they won't come up on the docks. they don't hurt people." and i said, "what about that one? does that one hurt people" and she said, "which one?" and my dream comedically cut to a crocodile in the water wearing a Jason mask.

[wizardarchetypes]

for people asking, it was wearing the mask like this:

[toskarin]

the roblox ceo saying that is an obvious slip, because while it's definitely what he meant as someone who profits directly from unpaid child labour, he's also not thinking that hard about how "all problems are actually opportunities" dialect goes over outside of a board meeting

[toskarin]

[staring at the reporter and feeling my veins tighten as my anti-FUD anxiety response activates] actually, at our studio, we prefer to think of it as a child exploitation opportunity

[virtualidoll]