first survive, then survive surviving

for more intense/explicit whump. main whump blog @foundfamilywhump. gav, he/they, 27. here there be trauma. (please do not reblog my posts with additions about romance or send me ask prompts with positive romance, and respect that the work i post is not intended as sm/ut or k!nk - written that way to avoid appearing in searches - thank you!)

[survivesurvivingwhump]

whump intro (redux)

hi there! it's me, gav @foundfamilywhump. he/they, 27. aro butch.

this is my second whump account, for posts that are generally darker/more explicit/overtly triggering in particular ways. there will regularly be sexual violence in the posts on this blog, though everything will be tagged as thoroughly as i can, for content warning and organization purposes. as a note, i want to be clear about something: when i write about or engage in whump that is focused on sexual violence, i do so from a pure whump perspective centred on trauma. it is not meant to be erotica or kink material. i can't and won't try to control what anyone does or doesn't do in their own time, but do not bring it to my door please.

combo of fandom and non-fandom whump posts/reblogs, though i don't really do much with like... specific whump ocs, it's just not something that holds my interest for some reason. i do some giffing, and i'm trying to get more practice with it. this is a side-blog, so if i don't follow you back, that's why lol. queue posts once a day.

please do not add things about romance to my posts when you reblog them. totally get that not everyone who reblogs from me will see this post or remember it when reblogging and im not gonna be pissed off if someone does but i did want to make that request publicly and explicitly. i post often about relationships between characters, including whumpees and caretakers, that include a lot of intimacy, intensity, affection, support, love, etc. none of those posts are romantic and they are intentionally nonromantic.

housekeeping under the cut, re: what will be here, what won't be here, etc.

things you will find here:

interpersonal dynamics of the team, found family, enemies to friends, queerplatonic varieties (and more!). big emphasis on platonic intimacy.

some fave tropes include touch starvation, torture, difficult and complicated recovery arcs, whipping, nightmares, characters being helped to bathe/wash after whump, interpersonal abuse, and many many more

comfort and care, and hope if not 'happy' endings

darker content than is on my main whump blog, as per the purpose. sexual violence, interpersonal/child abuse is a frequent topic.

things you will NOT find here (sometimes with some exception):

romance. at all. if i make a post, it is always meant without romance. if i reblog a post, i avoid romantic relationships as much as i can. i am an intensely romance repulsed aromantic person.

character death

hurt no comfort

pet whump/bbu type stuff/general 'prolonged captivity where no one ever gets out and the whumpee is fawning and completely brainwashed' vibe stuff

'carewhumpers'. this is such a specific niche beef but i really do not understand the term and i think it makes no sense and kind of sucks and plays into some really uncomfortable and shitty beliefs about abuse and what 'real' harm is and how harm is 'not that bad' if someone doesn't truly mean it or if they're like, nice sometimes. more on that here from my main whump blog.

gendered generic whump posts. im sorry, there's just no reason this generic nameless whumpee needs to be a 'he'.

[survivesurvivingwhump]

the all-encompassing suffocating terror of whumper’s entire body pressing down on whumpee. laying on top of them, blanketing them, forcing them down against a mattress or a table or into a wall. the warmth and the living movement of whumper’s body - breathing, shifting - and the horrible stillness. whumpee is barely able to draw in air, their heart thudding so loud and fast. they’re so trapped and the implicit threat of this body on top of theirs is more frightening and nauseating than words can convey.

[survivesurvivingwhump]

When Whumper starts to assault Whumpee, Whumpee goes limp. They don’t seem afraid, they seem resigned

Whumper frowns, disappointed. “I’m not your first, am I?”

whumper is right and that’s somehow the worst part of it. whumpee has been raped before. they’ve never had sex, not consensually, but they’ve been raped, and they know how it goes. they know how to lay back and take it. they know how to minimize the pain, to send the part of them that’s a person away somewhere else.

and whumper really does seem so disappointed. they’re still on top of whumpee, their naked body still pressed so close, connecting them together, but they’re not moving. they seem deep in thought.

then they lean forward, seize a fist full of whumpee’s hair, and murmur to them: “tell me about it.”

it’s too different. this is too strange, too unpredictable. whumpee is too present. they can’t ignore it, can’t pretend they didn’t hear.

“what?”

“tell me who it was. tell me how it happened. how it felt. tell me everything.”

whumpee would sooner fucking die. “no. do what you’re- just do it. but i’m not- no.”

“you don’t want to tell me no,” whumper says, even closer to their cheek. their breath is warm and damp and horrible. “because if you don’t tell me, i’ll have to find another way to make this interesting. which means i don’t want a whore who already knows how to take being used. your friend, they live just down the street, right?” they must be able to feel it - the way whumpee flinches under them and goes stiff. “there it is. so i’ll ask again. tell me about it. about your rape. i want to hear everything.”

“okay.” whumpee can’t breathe. they can barely hear their own voice past the rushing in their ears. “okay. i’ll- okay. it was- it was six years ago. the first time, anyway…”

[survivesurvivingwhump]

rising star athlete whumpee who got a scholarship to one of the best universities in the nation, insane amount of potential, an athlete who is set to become one of the biggest names in their sport. they always seem to compete with such passion that it seems like the sport is a part of their soul.

then they start training under the most respected coach in the world of that sport. you can probably see where i’m going with this. all is well for a while, until they start stumbling on the field/making small mistakes they never would have made. they’re sluggish and even seem like they’re limping some days. they look tired and nervous in every post-game interview now, especially when the coach is mentioned. coach never misses an opportunity to clap them on the shoulder or give them a friendly hug on camera, almost seeming to enjoy the way they try to suppress their flinches.

this coach is part of the draw for this program. everyone knows that they are. people from this program get trained by this coach, if they're good enough. if they're special enough.

this coach trained current star athlete, after all. one of rising star whumpee's personal heroes, one of the greatest players in their sport. the person they look up to the most, though they're close enough in age that they try to keep quiet about that.

thinking about current star athlete just makes them feel so ashamed they want to die, now. current star never would have put up with this. they never would have let their coach do this. their coach never would have done this to them - they were good enough to be left alone. they were the best.

the last thing that rising star whumpee is prepared for is the day after their worst interview yet, the one where their coach took them by surprise and they flinched visibly on camera. they laughed it off but they know it was noticeable. and then the next day, as they're called back into coach whumper's office, they know what's going to happen. except-

"you said no one else." current star, whumpee's hero, the last person they ever thought they would see, slams in through the door, voice loud and devastated. they stare across the desk at coach whumper, shoulders heaving with audible breaths. "you fucking promised you'd never do it again. that it would- that it would stop with me, that's why i still- i- you fucking promised, you piece of shit!"

[survivesurvivingwhump]

Whumper who acts like they’re Whumpee’s first introduction to sex. Calmly explaining what’s happening, explaining what a sex toy is, etc

it's fucking infuriating. whumper's voice is so steady and condescendingly patient, stripping whumpee bit by bit and explaining what's going to happen like whumpee doesn't fucking know. like they don't know what sex is, like they don't know that this isn't going to hurt, i'm going to be gentle, because i know that you're scared, but it's going to traumatize you. you're going to be very upset about this. i'm going to have sex with you, and because you don't want it, that's rape.

whumpee bit the inside of their cheek so hard it bled when whumper said that. whumper is speaking to them like they're a fucking child, explaining to them what rape is, as they're shoving fingers inside a part of whumpee's body they've just explained the name of.

"and then this-"

"oh my god i fucking know what that is, shut the fuck up!"

whumper stops. they set down the sex toy and look at whumpee very seriously. they thrust their fingers once, hard, so hard that whumpee can't help the bitten-out yelp of pain and surprise.

"i'm being extremely patient, because i know how hard this is going to be for you. if you want me to treat you like a pro, i can do that, too," whumper says, still calm, but with a firm edge that threatens worse behind it.

whumpee's eyes are watering. they can barely breathe. the restraints around their wrists are going to draw blood by the time this is over. god, if it's ever fucking over.

[altschmerzes]

history rhymes

chapter six of a multichapter fic, heavy content warning for rape/sexual assault/abuse, gen (no ships but some incidental canon-typical roy/keeley)

Jamie gets a new agent after coming back to Richmond and it goes downhill from there, as he inadvertently walks right into the office of an experienced serial predator.

“Do you think Tanner will be happy?” There’s a split-second pause. “Your agent?” Jamie nods. The weird, trembly feeling hasn’t quite gone yet. “Yeah. He put a lot of work into this, into setting it up, and getting me ready, and… and me.”  “Yeah.” Keeley’s voice is soft. Her hand reappears, squeezing his wrist, light and warm.  It’s gone after a few moments, and Jamie manages to keep himself from grabbing it, threading their fingers together and clinging. You’re not supposed to do that sort of thing with friends. You’re not even supposed to want to. “I’m sure he’s going to love them,” she says. “Your coaches see how hard you’re working, your teammates see it, I see it. I’m sure that your agent… that Tanner sees it, too.” “I hope you’re right.” “Of course I am.” Keeley rocks her chair to the side, jostling his. “I’m always right.” When she puts it like that, it’s hard to disagree.

read chapter six on ao3!

[survivesurvivingwhump]

Whumpee knows Whumper is going to strip them down for the upcoming rape so instead Whumpee just strips down for Whumper while throwing some of their clothes at them. And when they're fully naked they say, "There. It's all off. You like what you see, you fucking pervert?"

whumper's eyes rake up and down whumpee's naked body, scrutinizing every inch of their skin. their lip curls and whumpee is struck by a sudden wave of shame, strong enough even to break through the anger that was giving them enough nerve to stand with their chin up, exposed as they were once they finished stripping.

"not really, if i'm honest," whumper sighs. "i've had better. but, you'll do. a hole's a hole, after a point, and you've got a couple of them."

[afterdarkwhump]

"Tell me you want me. I need to hear you say it."

[oligoweee]

writing a stoic character who had a spiked drink and now they're in a complete daze, vulnerable and relying on the one person they trust to keep them safe except that one person is also stoic but trying their best to provide care

#LifeIsGood❤️

[whump-all-night]

masochist whumpee is made promises of being allowed to escape if they’re able to come with a knife still lodged in them

[for-the-ouchies]

Torturer whumper strapping whumpee down and cutting their clothes away, whumpee bracing for pain.

But whumper doesn't touch any of the implements they've brought. Does not marr a single piece of whumpee's skin.

All whumper does is touch.

[acta-est-fabula-plaudite]

In Whumpee's captivity, whenever Whumper assaulted them, it was always on the bed.

After being rescued, Caretaker doesn't understand why Whumpee keeps sleeping on the floor when they have a good, warm bed to lay on.

[for-the-ouchies]

Whumpee is already used to multiple whumpers hurting them when then one decides to add rape to the list. They make no secret of their intentions, and whumpee braces for this horrible thing, knowing it's something people fear, having heard how traumatising it is.

...Only to find it doesn't hurt. At least, not by their standards.

In the aftermath, they're more confused than anything else. Was that really it? The worst they can feel is some soreness, perhaps a bit of nausea for some reason- probably the stress of all that unnecessary worry from earlier catching up to them. (The alternative is that they're actually distressed by something that didn't hurt, and how silly would that be?)

[whump-slump]

"My hope was that you would submit to me willingly, that you would love me enough to allow me to use you as I saw fit.

Of course you would still cry and beg for me to stop. But in the end, you would trust me enough to know that I would never do anything to hurt you permanently. That everything I do to you is out of love.

We'll get to that point someday, sweetheart. I promise. But in the meantime, I'm happy to take you by force."

[whumpologyy]

cw: noncon etc

Whumper tying a vibrator to Whumpee while they’re tortured, trying to manipulate Whumpee’s body into associating pain with something pleasurable

….instead, they inadvertently do the opposite and Whumpee is terrorized into thinking that any pleasurable sensation is going to be accompanied by pain and humiliation and helplessness

[survivesurvivingwhump]

fun fact the last post about forcing a whumpee to schedule times for their next assault is a significant component of a fic i’m working on, complete with aftermath where the character believes this was somehow meaningful consent on his part thus he doesn’t get to be upset about it or call it rape. He Agreed.

[survivesurvivingwhump]

whumpee’s life is normal otherwise. or, as normal as it’s ever been. they go about their daily life. they do their job, see their friends, run errands and keep afloat. and then, like clockwork, it’s time to go to whumper - to whumper’s house, or office, or wherever else they’ve arranged to meet.

whumper made them pick the times. whumper made them schedule the appointments like appointments, like this was about taxes or staying up to date on vaccinations. like this wasn’t whumper forcing whumpee to choose when they would next be raped.

they don’t talk about it outside of the pre-arranged times. whumpee thinks, honestly, that this might be the only thing keeping them above water. if it’s all confined to those times, to those dates and hours, then it can’t infect the rest of their life. it can’t poison their work or their friends or anything else. they suffer and cry and hurt and then they choose when they’ll be violated next, and doesn’t that sort of mean it isn’t a violation at all? they stopped begging whumper not to do this a while ago.

it’s not sustainable, though. soon, whumpee starts to crack under the weight of it - what’s happening to them. the nightmares are getting worse. they’re flinching constantly. they had a panic attack in a supply closet at work the other day. a friend greeted them with a hug and they nearly threw up, and then nearly cried and clung to them. something is going to break. whumpee is going to break.

they sob harder than ever through the next appointment. they beg whumper to please just let this stop, and it’s the first time in weeks they’ve allowed the word stop to be something real and within their reach. whumper grabs their hair, drags their head down, and shoves the calendar at them.

“that’s not how this works. you pick or i’ll pick for you, and you won’t have time to prepare.”