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ellievsbear
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
ojovivo
h
shark vs the universe
Sade Olutola
Game of Thrones Daily
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
YOU ARE THE REASON
No title available
$LAYYYTER
⁂
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Keni
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
blake kathryn
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
if i look back, i am lost
seen from United Arab Emirates
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@svenbear
Disco Elysium is a hard sell for certain audiences because it's like the one game ever where having to play as a terminally divorced brown-haired white guy genuinely is material to the text's structural critique, but people bullshit about that so often that folks are perfectly justified not believing you.
Happy Friday afternoon! 😁☺️ We've done it! 😎😌 We've got to the end of the week ‼️✅️ We've locked 🔒 up ⬆️ our warehouse 🚚 we've parked ⛲️♿️ up our vans 🚐 we have logged off ❌️ our computers 💻 and I've quickly 🏃♂️ popped 🫧 into my local favorite pub 🍻🇬🇧 for a cheeky pint of beer ☺️🍺 and look 😳🔎 a little bit of 🤏 early dinner 🍴😋 because the wife 👰♀ I love her dearly 🥰❤️ but her cooking 🍳👩🍳 ain't that great 🙅♂️🤢 and we've got 😮 a stunning ✨️ beef and ale pie 🥧🍮 a bitofmashedpotatoes 🥔🧈 baked beans 🫘 in a pot 🫕 which I think 💭 is wrong 😤 but it's happeninganyway 🤷♂️ and of course a bit of gravy 🥣🍲 and you know me 😉 I never look 🚫👀 when I pour 🙈🫗 because I am ☝️‼️ the absolute govnah 💂♂️🧑💼 And listen goiuys 👂 hope you had a great week 😘⌚️ keep on smashin' life 💥😮 keep givin' it a hundred 💯 and ten 🔟 per cent 🔣 and don't go home 🏠 until you're proud ✌️😌 And listen 🎧🙉 cheers to you all 🏅🎆 You deserve it 😉 A'bosh! ⁉️
You there! Federal museum professional educator or FEMA climatologist or NOAA metereologist or CISA cybersecurity specialist or Army civilian logistics employee. How would you like to work for ICE? No? Not interesting? You’re working for ICE now. You’re working for ICE or you’re quitting. You don’t get a choice. You’re an ICE brown shirt or you’re out of a job.
This is not hyperbole. This is happening across the entire United States government.
Today my museum announced three employees are ‘surplus’ and have been offered jobs with ICE. The Army is deactivating two commands and combining them. The surplus civilian employees from this merger? Sent to ICE.
FEMA has been forced to transfer employees to ICE mid-hurricane season.
100 Federal Air Marshals are being offered to ICE. 250 IRS agents are detailed to ICE. The Postal Inspection Service too. 2,000 people from the Justice Department - FBI, DEA, etc - and Department of Defense civilians are now being authorised to be transferred, either to ICE or military operations like the border or the occupation of DC.
More than 6,700 personnel have been reassigned to ICE. 80% of the ATF has been ordered to focus on immigration instead of their other work. 24% of the Diplomatic Security Service.
Nobody wants to work for ICE, nobody wants to be la migra. So they’re forcing it to happen at all costs.
theyre also offering nearly 100k starting salary, $50k bonuses, debt forgiveness to try to get more people to be ok with becoming gestapo agents 🤢
ICE is turning to former civil servants and offering bonuses in its rush to hire 10,000 people and fulfill President Trump's pledge of mass
At this point they're so desperate that they're taking people who can't pass the physical requirements or an open book test and they've had multiple people start training before their background checks are complete, then they come back with disqualifying criminal backgrounds or failed drug tests.
Push-ups, sit-ups, and a brisk jog pose a threat to Trump’s deportation campaign.
According to DHS, all recruits must meet the agency’s Physical Ability Assessment standards as a condition of employment.
The agency is flush with cash and hiring a lot of new personnel to satisfy Trump’s mass deportation plans. It’s not going well, though.
The recruits have had criminal backgrounds or failed drug tests or were unable to meet physical or academic standards, raising concerns abou
YOU GET THE FUCK BACK HERE AND EXPLAIN THAT RIGHT NOW
well damn
Every time, I know what's coming, but every time, I just lose it at "Uh. That"
Aborted Descartes voice: I would've thought...if I was.
I have misplaced an egg. I was going to fry an egg for breakfast, took the egg out of the fridge, got distracted, and now the egg has disappeared. I've looked everywhere but there's no trace of egg. where are you, egg? where egg?
Somewhere in my house there is a now truly free-range egg, laughing at me. 😔
EGG STATUS: STILL MISSING
I currently have two main theories:
I put egg on the table on my balcony when i went to water my little vegetable garden and then my nemesis, the fat rude bird who sometimes digs up my garden and then yells rude bird songs at me through my window stole my egg.
egg is still roaming around inside my apartment, possibly cleverly evading capture by hiding on one of the shelves i dont want to tidy cause there's too much stuff on there
i'm still holding out hope that egg and me will be reunited some time in the future. where are you egg? please come back egg...
yes of course! here's an artist's impression of my bird nemesis yelling a rude song at me:
I have not yet found egg, so i hope you are all ready for EGG WATCH 2025! the annual event where i figure out how to stream a webcam feed somewhere to see if my rude bird nemesis will eat a second egg to prove that he ate the first egg (this was probably his plan all along now that I think about it).
Okay, i figured out how streaming works so EGG WATCH 2025 is on! (yes i know its 2026 by now im just not very fast at doing things)
Friday morning at around 9 or 10 CET I will put an egg outside on my balcony and livestream it at https://www.twitch.tv/eggwatch2025
together we will solve this mystery, and hopefully catch the egg thief red-beaked, with egg on its face, egg cetera. So tune in friday to EGG WATCH 2025!
EGG WATCH 2025 is now LIVE!
it was all snowy and picturesque yesterday but today it started raining instead >:(
yeah in another hour or so i will take away the googly eyes and ginger bread friend and see what happens if its #justegg
#justegg
Google it.
Own this BCV original.
ended up making the funniest possible two item goodwill purchase entirely by accident
I wanted to figure out what the hell was going on here, so I did a reverse image search and now I have even more questions?
Why is he reading the Bible?
accidentally took the funniest screenshot 💀
when someone asks how you're doing
Study of Drapery (1900) by Alphonse Mucha
Early morning in the forest
albertdrosphotography
recently my elderly shattered-up phone started letting me charge it to 107% which I've been using to get let's just say a little bit extra out of it on long days
added benefit that this makes it crazy warm and soft so I use it to warm up my coat when it's cold outside
to be honest with you it's swollen as fuck and that's why I'm rocking with it
Swollen batteries are incendiary explosives.
this one's just a phone
if it was a bomb and not a phone I couldn't make a call on it, but I can because it's a phone, although it will be to the fun department instead of the fire department
respectfully, ma'am, phone and bomb are not mutually exclusive descriptors
I'm not gatekeeping I'm just speaking from my presently lived experience
When you start speaking from your formally lived experience, be sure to let us know!
I already live every day with undue formality and noble grace
I'm not a technician so I don't really see how this applies to me
I genuinely can't tell if you're being stupid on purpose
when you feel that way it's a sign that I'm being smart
OP your phone is literally about to explode.
we've been over this, it's just puffy and I poke it with twigs when it gets too hot
my mental health is splendid and my phone is fantastic why in the world would I kill myself
Oh god it's the shark post all over again, but this time OP COULD FUCKIN DIE OR BE MAIMED HORRIBLY
that's really not on the table
reading earlier in this thread, you will find that it is not a bomb but a phone which is being poked with twigs, and only under certain circumstances
Hey, I’ve worked in IT longer than anyone else, and it’s totally fine to keep using your phone this way! This is because phones are not bombs so they can’t explode.
as someone who doesn't work in IT, I agree, which creates a consensus across the full spectrum of possible human experiences
My phone nearly exploded (the battery was so swollen I could see the inside of the phone.) you should get your phone looked at
But its a phone those don't explode
They do when the battery is swollen
you're thinking of bombs, easy mistake to make, but I addressed this earlier in the thread
OP do you have a will or any assets to even need one?
my will is frankly tremendous and I'd go as far as saying it's one of my strongest assets
