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@swagceratops
if i were a nun I would wear heelies and glide everywhere just to fuck with people
NO DONT DO THAT
SOMEONE WHO DOESNT WATCH WRESTLING EXPLAIN THIS
Violin Exorcism
When a party of bards attacks the warrior
Your belly button is just your old mouth.
âŠ.
I was having a good day. We were all having a good day.
Powder separating dirt from a water bottle
thats so fucking cool
The future is now.. May this spread to all who needs it
This is awesome how have I not heard about this before?
This makes me so happy.
when youâre so sleep-deprived that you donât even feel tired anymore
can we please stop romance-coding the phrase âin loveâ that would be great thanks
someone: *knocks on the door when our parents arenât home*
me and my brother:
Please unmute this
I wasnât sure what I was expecting, but it wasnât thisÂ
when youâre listening to really fast music that pumps you up but youâre not doing anything particularly exciting so you just sit there super energetically
Natalie Portman being confused by the fact that you have to say âhiâ to someone before starting a conversation in France got me like ?????
âI feel thereâs a lot of rules of politeness and codes of behavior there you have to follow. [âŠ] A friend of mine taught me that when you go in some place you have to say âbonjourâ before you say anything else, then you have to wait two seconds before you say something else. So if you go into a store you canât be like âdo you have this in another size,â or theyâll think youâre super rude and then theyâll be rude to you.â [X]
#wait you donât do this is other countries??
So thatâs it guys. French are not rude, we just donât like it when people donât say âHelloâ or âHiâ when they start a conversation.Â
Donât everyone say âHiâ before they ask something to someone? Whatâs next? Saying please is also a french thing or others countries does that too?Â
Canada is similar. We say sorry and please. The Hello thing seems strange, but it actually makes sense.
Bro, this threw me for a loop when I moved up north. Like in the southern United States you say âHi, how are you?â And then make a few seconds of small talk before you ask your question or order your food and when I went to Connecticut they were like âWhat do you want?â Without any hello or anything. In other places they just STARE at you waiting on you to place your order and gtfo.
I laid my hand over my chest the first time, and the only way to describe my look was âaghastâ before I said âGood lord!â My husband said itâs the most southern thing heâs seen me do. He thought it was hilarious. ButâŠ. Like??? Thatâs rude as fuck??????? Donât y'all say say âHelloâ before throwing your demands at someone??
maybe this is why everyone thinks new yorkers are rude
this is absolutely why ppl think new englanders r rude. no one has any fucking manners
african culture, at least in ghana, demands you greet a person before you ask them something. if youre in an open market they may even ignore you if you dont.
We do this in Australia as well. If you just started straight off saying âyeah I want XXXXâ weâd think youâre rude as all fuck. You say hi, then make your request. Itâs basic acknowledgement of the other person as a person rather than some random request-filling machine.
Huh. Speaking as a New Englander, I usually go with âExcuse me,â but sometimes âhiâ or âhey,â but with no pause â itâll be, âExcuse me, hi, I was looking for X?â From my POV, it seems rude to get too chatty and waste some strangerâs time; I assume they have better things to do than make small talk with me, so I just get my request out there so they can answer me and get back to whatever needs doing. I always thank folks for their help afterwards, if that helps?
(The rules of etiquette are strange. People say New Englanders are rude and cold, but once during an unexpected snowstorm here in Seattle, my car got stuck and I was standing by the side of the road at a busy intersection in the snow for half an hour waiting for my housemate to come pick me up, and not a single person stopped. Back in Massachusetts, every other car on the road wouldâve been pulling up to check to see if I was okay, if my phone was working, did I need a lift, etc.)
No but this was the first thing my cousin told me in France? you never ever ever start a conversation with anyone, not even like âNice weather today, huh?â without saying Bonjour first. You HAVE to greet them or, just like Ghana, theyâll ignore the shit out of you, you rude little fucker
(And âexcuse meâ or âpardon meâ doesnât cut it. you still have to open with bonjour)
[and I canât speak for New England but coming from Chicago and then moving Out West where the culture is VERY influenced by the South and DETERMINED to think of themselves as small town folk⊠I HATE when I have to make small talk before ordering food??? Like, if itâs a coffee shop thatâs pretty much empty Iâll chit chat for a few seconds, but Iâm still not going to make inane conversation about the weather unless the weather is extreme.
In a big city it is rude as fuck to waste my time making small talk with me when we are not even friends or neighbors??? I am here to get shit done. There are four other people in line behind me, and I donât want to waste their time. I am here, I HAVE MY ORDER ALREADY DECIDED BY THE TIME I GET TO THE FRONT BECAUSE I AM NOT A CAVE WOMAN, and I am being polite by saying both Please and Thank You and not wasting other peopleâs daylight.]
I live in a small northern city, and I feel it would be rude to engage someone in more than maaaaaybe a sentence of small talk before placing my order. In addition to feeling I was wasting their time, Iâd feel like I was demanding emotional labour (small-talk is emotional labour for *me*) that they werenât being paid to give.
so bizarre. New Yorker here. Saying hi, how are you, etc before these kinds of commercial interactions is whatâs rude to me - because ffs, there are people in line behind you, we have lives, move it along. Itâs really just a dramatic cultural difference - but borne of a real practical necessity.
Oh my god saying âhiâ takes less than A SINGLE SECOND YOU ARE NOT WASTING ANYBODYâS TIME In Spain you have to say hello to people before you talk to them even people who work in retail deserve that bare minimum courtesy hello??
Transplanted New Yorker here, and the feeling here is: people who work in retail deserve the bare minimum courtesy you would afford anyone else, which is to not waste their time.  You maybe say a half-second âhiâ and/or possibly âexcuse meâ to be sure you have their attention, then you get to the point as quickly and concisely as possible.  You donât wait to get a âhiâ back, you probably donât ask âhow are youâ, you definitely donât talk about the weather.  You smile and keep your tone of voice courteous-to-friendly, you say please, you thank them when youâre done, and you do. not. waste. their. time.
Except âtimeâ is really only shorthand for the concept:  you donât intrude on their lives more than you have to.  NY is a very very crowded city which allows for very little personal space, so New Yorkers have developed a form of courtesy that involves minimizing our unavoidable intrusions on each other.  Which is why we hold doors without making eye contact, and why we tend to feel that in any interaction with a stranger, itâs actively rude to do anything but get to the point immediately.
Interesting discussion of regional differences in conversational convention.  But the amount of âmy way is the right way; everyone else is super rude and also wrongâ going on in this post is giving me hives. Â
Hey.  Listen.  "Politeâ and ârudeâ are relative concepts. Something you were taught was rude may not be seen as rude elsewhere, and might even be the polite thing to do.  Conversely, something you might have been taught was polite might be seen as rude elsewhere.  Saying âno one has any mannersâ about a group of people whose culture and, by extension, whose conversational expectations work differently than yours is really arrogant.Â
In the US the thumbs up means good job or great. In France and Germany it means one, they start counting with the thumb instead of the index finger. In Greece itâs an obscene sexual gesture.
This guy I knew in college worked with the campus d/Deaf/HoH group and told a story about the dinner they had to welcome everyone in. They were trying to tell this little old lady what one of the dishes was, something casserole I forget what kind, and she was getting really flustered. Finally they figured out they were speaking to her in ASL and she was from South Africa. The ASL sign for whatever it was (spinach maybe?) in South African Sign means sex. They were offering this little old lady a sex casserole.
Thereâs an Italian toast âchin chinâ, mimicking the sound of the glasses clinking together. It becomes hilarious when Japanese folks are around since in Japanese chin means penis.
As for the South, I will bet you anything that how we have conversations at the register stemmed from the homestead days when a farmer would come in to town maybe once a month and this would be the only time theyâd get to talk to someone they didnât live with. I like talking with customers! If I can get them to smile then itâs a victory and I have a better day for it. It only becomes emotional labor if theyâre an outright ass or are sexually harassing me. But in the big crammed city of New York it makes sense to take the get your shit and get out approach, people have a subway to catch. Out here I had to drive myself anyway since itâs fifteen minutes to the edge of town from where I live, so what does it matter if I spend an extra minute at the register?
Itâs important to be aware of the differences and ultimately thereâs a degree of âwhen in Romeâ that has to happen. Someone who moves from Greece to the US is going to be startled by the amount of thumbs up but ultimately theyâre going to have to adjust. Someone from the US is probably going to be shocked that telling someone they did a good job was taken as an insult and they similarly are going to have to adjust. Momâs a damn Yankee transplant and said it was weird moving to the South and having cashiers younger than her daughter call her dear, but thatâs just what we do. Sweetheart, darling, honey, sugar, they donât have overtly romantic/sexual connotations here. As long as thereâs not a leer attached to it if a guy calls me âsugarâ when Iâm at work it doesnât parse as a flirt because itâs not one, it parses the same as if he called me âmissâ. But when a busload of Californians came through it took me three people to realize that âbabyâ was not flirting, it was just California. NOTHING is universal.
This is the biggest place Iâve ever worked so it took some getting used to, like any skill, but even being socially awkward itâs easy to tell what scripts to follow. Test the waters, if they donât respond then okay this is a move them through kind of person, be quick and efficient and to the point, feel good when they smile at âlast question I promise, do you want your receiptâ. If they do then pull out the five small talk scripts, get a smile, feel good when they laugh at the cat small talk script.
Itâs also important to note that claiming your cultureâs way of doing polite right is a fantastic way to fall into some really bigoted nonsense. In Puerto Rico the personal bubble is much smaller than in the US proper, like RIGHT at your elbow close. I had a cashier who was super uncomfortable because our steward was getting in her personal space constantly and he was pissed off because he was trying to HELP her with moving orders why is she mad at him? Once I sat them down and explained the difference they both had this aw shit moment because from their own standpoints they were being polite and from the othersâ standpoints they were being rude. After that they were fine, when he got a little too close sheâd say âwhoa man my bubbleâ and heâd laugh and shake is head and step back.
Lots of non-white cultures have things like that, particularly since white America has serious problems with sexualizing ANY physical contact to the point weâre all touch starved. The normal speaking voice is at a higher volume or itâs more acceptable to show your emotions or gesture when you speak. None of this is WRONG, but when people star getting into âmy culture is the only right cultureâ then guess who comes out on top? It ainât the little guy.
One of my labmates was from Poland, and she had a tendency to come off as kind of abrupt and brusk, verging on mean. In particular, when she was providing feedback on a presentation or paper she could come across as SUPER cutting. Which was not her intention! From the way she would explain it, we had a running joke in the lab, âit sounds nicer in Polish.â
And this is actually true; there are scientific articles comparing the cultural contexts for communication! Itâs really neat.
So in (most parts of) America, we equate indirectness with politeness. âExcuse me, would it be possible for you to perhaps pass me that salt, if you donât mind?â The more roundabout you are, the more we consider that a signal of social courtesy.
In Poland, not only is indirectness viewed as rudely wasting the listenerâs time, but directness is viewed as communicating intimacy and friendliness. âGive me the salt.â
âŠIt sounds nicer in Polish. :)
Omg I love this
The Effects of Capital, Labor, and Class on Local Etiquette Across International Boundaries
This is great. As an individual living in Long Island during my university studies, I get sort of this New York City element to my interactions with people. Usually I say âHi, how are you?â or just âHiâ before my order and theyâre like âgood how are youâ and Iâm like âgood.â If itâs a retail situation I generally tend to end the conversation there and let them ring what I needed them to ring, and if itâs a restaurant I would just place my order. Personally, I donât like this rushed feeling, but alas one must adapt to their cultural surroundings.Â
I like the way that the South does things with regard to this. People are nice and friendly with each other, and there is no rush to the lifestyle. This is something I enjoy quite a bit.
Indeed, one of the things we must do is not to divide, but to understand where the other party is coming from so we can learn from them. That is why I am sharing this post. So many different cultural ideas in one place!
THEY SHOWED ME THIS VIDEO IN HIGH SCHOOL BIO
THE PROFESSOR LITERALLY HAD TO REWIND TO THIS POINT BECAUSE WE WERE ALL LAUGHING SO HARD