arvoisa puhemies,
[ääni täristen] must tuntuu että sä oot suuttunu mulle jostain
Keni
No title available
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
hello vonnie
The Bowery Presents

bliss lane

izzy's playlists!
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

Origami Around

pixel skylines
No title available
Not today Justin
Sade Olutola

No title available

Andulka
Color Me Curious
Cosimo Galluzzi
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

shark vs the universe
seen from Spain
seen from United States
seen from Ireland
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
seen from Ireland
seen from Austria
seen from Bangladesh
seen from Latvia
seen from Singapore
seen from Kyrgyzstan
seen from India

seen from Colombia

seen from United States
seen from Portugal
seen from United States

seen from Argentina

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Ukraine
@sweetinnocentsal
arvoisa puhemies,
[ääni täristen] must tuntuu että sä oot suuttunu mulle jostain
I wish you would write an AU fic where the fire never happened and the twins lived a 'normal' life and now where they're older Vergil has to balance college work with being a single father and just before he breaks down, the rest of the family swoop in to help.
Toschi.... why do you do to me!? I have so many AU’s...and now you’ve added another one lol!
Vergil was not sleeping. He was just resting his eyes. After all, he had drank two cups of coffee, black, and was standing at the kitchen counter, boiling the carrots to puree for Nero’s food. He couldn’t afford to sleep. He had two textbooks out, and a voice droned on about ‘economic theory’. He had an exam in two weeks, Nero would have his six month check up next week....and he needed to do Mrs. Patterson’s bookkeeping by tomorrow. Although he wasn’t going to admit it, he was reaching his limit. Thankfully, Nero, angel that he was, napped peacefully while his father tried to catch up on all his tasks “When one looks at the economies of socialized countries...” the voice went on over his phone’s speaker, “it is often mistaken that...”
----- “In the next chapter we will discuss the effect government tariffs can have on imports and..” Vergil shook his head. In the blink of an eye.... the audio textbook had skipped through a chapter and half of content...the sun had jumped from late afternoon, to sunset, and to his horror, the clock on the stove was now almost two hours ahead. Vergil panicked. He ran to the stove, terrified that the water had boiled away, leaving nothing but charred remains. How stupid he was, he could have set his entire apartment on fire! He could not afford to be so weak. Especially with his son’s life!
Two things puzzled him.
One: The stove had been turned off, the water dangerously low in the pot, but not burnt. Two: There was a soft gentle laughter and cooing coming from his sons room, and another voice... Quickly he walked towards the infants room, and to his surprise, he found Nero giggling happily...in the arms of Dante as his brother sat in the rocking chair. How and how in the hell did he get in?
“Hey there bro!” Dante said cheerfully, as he tickled the baby. “Mom called you several times, but it went to voice mail, so she asked me to check up on you.”
Vergil glared at him, “Alright, you’ve done your check up. You can go home and make yourself a nuisance somewhere else.”
Unfortunately, Dante shook his head. “I don’t think so Verg. You see, you nearly gave me a heart attack, finding you passed out on the counter, the stove on, and Nero crying his little lungs out.”
Vergil paled. Had he been so weak and left his son defenseless? Well that would not happen again. If he had to drink straight expressos, and endure his brother’s teasing for drinking Monster drinks, he would. Anything to provide for his son, to keep his little family safe.
Strangely, Dante’s smile wasn’t its usual sardonic. It was more...soft. “Vergil,” he asked gently, “When was the last time you slept?”
“I had a nap this morning.”
“You know what I mean, when was the last time you had a full eight hours of sleep?”
Vergil thought back. His memory was fuzzy. But between work, school, and his son’s unpredictable sleeping habits... it had been...several days...weeks maybe?
He didn’t have to say anything, according to Dante. “That’s it, its decided. I’m taking the little squirt to mom’s for the next couple of days. You need some alone time, if only for you to get a decent night’s rest.”
“That won’t be neccessary-”
“Cut the bullcrap, Vergil. I can tell when you’re running on fumes. You can’t be a dad to Nero when you’re half dead.” He sighed, and stroked the top of Nero’s downy soft head. “You know, it’s not weakness to let us help you. You don’t have to go this alone. Mom, Dad...and yes, even me want to help you, to make sure you two are doing okay. Capice?”
Vergil sighed...perhaps one night at his grandparents while he recuperated would be enough.
“Very well... I trust you can drive him there? At a safe speed?”
“You wound me, brother! Like I’d ever put my adorable nephew in danger” he responded, mockingly offended. “But...I gotta ask you one favour though...”
“Hmm?”
“He kinda stinks.... can you change him first?”
29-General “I made this for you.” Can be a Dadgil, or a romantic pairing.
Muzzzz I couldn’t resist I aaaaa
“I made this for you.”
--
The Devil May Cry office is much quieter than usual. Dante’s out on a mission with Lady and Trish and Nero is at school. Though the little boy would be home soon; he insisted on taking the bus today instead of being picked up. His own way of being independent.
Me in 2019: I'm eternally simping for V
Me in 2021: Wait...Vergil is kinda hot?
Dadgil and baby Nero
Happy Father’s Day!
Full(3pages comics)↓↓↓
https://twitter.com/lovely_coron/status/1406463835595108355?s=21
“子ネロとパパ Happy Father’s Day! #dadgil #DevilMayCry5 #DMC5 #FathersDay”
Dadgil doodles.
If Vergil didn’t put dad in d(e)adbeat
Ok poll time:
Like if you think Dadte is the best Dad
Reblog if you think Dadgil is the best Dad
Or do both if you think they’re both good dads and you shouldn’t make them fight again like they do all the time anyways
an accurate representation of my tumblr dashboard
well fuck how did we get here....happy superputinelection anniversary tumblr dot com!
Finding more fallen-out hairs on your pillow, watching out favourite stuffed bread disappear from the convenience store...the accumulation of those little despairs is what makes a person an adult.
NANAMI KENTO in JUJUTSU KAISEN / 呪術廻戦 (2020) episode 9: 幼魚と逆罰; small fry and reverse retribution.
Vampire and his human wife after years of marriage
Charles took her to macy’s
Dildo Generator
Online 3D experiment by Ikaros Kappler which is described as a “Extrusion/Revolution Generator” ….
Created with three.js, you can alter the bezier curves and angle of the form, and is designed with 3D printing in mind (models can be exported and saved, as well as calculated weight in silicone).
Try it out for yourself (if you wish) here
the time is now
hell yeah
ah yes, the ol rolling pin dilda
it’s called the purple ramjet
which end do you start with? the answer is yours to decide
shove a vase up your ass
not even jesus could save yall motherfuckers’ souls
i call it the matterhorn
cackling just continues to get louder as I scroll through
i think this is the first time an internet community has discovered something customizable and adamantly refused to make penises
of course this is the post where tumblr is like “Seems sfw to me!”
I call this one the Megahorny
Just cram an entire table lamp up there
Me every time this post crosses my dash:
My laugh at this post is auditory evidence of just how sick I still am.
Plate.
I’d usually post this to my NSFW blog but this is making me laugh so unreasonably hard that I can’t fucking breathe and therefore deserves to be on my main blog
Compiling some of the best ones from the replies-
How you gonna do us like that bruh???
ITS BACK
M U S H R O O M
en garde
i guess this is the long post all the gays are collectively reblogging today huh
Idk how to work it on mobile which makes me sad
This this fucking terrible thing just killed me
I was just scrolling and my friend asked why I was dying and i just had shown them this.
They are scared of me i think
HAHWHWHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHSHESUAIJ
toilet punger
I’m fucking DYING
It’s gotten so much worse @midnightstorm-underthe-moon
*sigh* beutiful
thinking abt that time in one of my art classes when the prof put up a silhouette of L from death note and said “this is not an effective design bc you can’t tell who this character is from this shape”
and everyone in the class went like “yes we can that’s L from death note”
why do people think humans are the peak of evolution. bears get to eat berries and salmon all the time and sleep half the year. how is that not so much more advanced than working every day until i die!
ay op is right where that witch from brave at i just wanna talk
Top 10 bodies of water I want to drown in
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
Tag which ones you'd prefer to drowned in