Swiinkerpot

procrastination station

[fairylandsx]

Opal Chrysalis by Firefly Path couture

[reasonablywittyatbest]

@swiinkerpot

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[eastern-bloc-party-archive]

I’m HOLLERING

THIS OLD LADY CALLED US AND SAID “I had a temper tantrum at the library :/“ and I genuinely didn’t know what to say so I asked, “what’s wrong?”

And she says apologetically, “well I THOUGHT y’all had seven books on hold for me but it was only one…but I wouldn’t listen and insisted y’all had seven so I’m afraid I was quite rude.”

And I said something well meaning like “well, we all live and learn, right?”

And then she proceeds to tell me that she called her best friend and confessed, “I’ve made a fool out of myself at the library :/“ and her friend said “no, you were a bitch at the library” and she said, “you’re right, I was an ass,” and then told me that best friends aren’t afraid to set you straight and that she’s been friends with her since 1964 and then oh my gosh and then she said “yeah they’ll call you a bitch but don’t worry, they still love you. I know now not to fuck with the library.”

And she talks like my nana and I’m trying to stifle my laughter and I said in my best stern voice “well now ma’am, I don’t want to seem like I’m encouraging this behavior, but I suppose we can let you check out books again, IF you promise not to cause a ruckus a SECOND time,” and she replied “oh I don’t need encouraging! It comes naturally!”

DON’T FUCK WITH THE LIBRARY AHXKSUCKSJXSKS

[997]

im all of them

[ampervadasz]

[newyearnewscarab-deactivated202]

that’s a how you eat a the spaghett

[sleepy-bebby]

[foodffs]

[foodffs]

Japanese Cat Water Cake Is Taking Over Twitter In Japan

Really nice recipes. Every hour.

Show me what you cooked!

[marlynnofmany]

*giant wind gust outside*

Me: “Don’t say it.”

My Brain:

[oneheadtoanother]

[endreal]

Thank you Linux

[alleycatboy]

this goes hard as fuck

[l3irdl3rain]

He is trying so hard to resist the urge to bite

[hyrude]

[ojibwa]

what do they put in october and november that makes them the most ungodly mental breakdown psychosis inducing months imaginable. what are they storing in the orange leaves and generally grey drowsy atmosphere

[teaboot]

Sun vanish

Green vanish

Sudden cold

Time moves 3 inches to the left

Here's a story about metaphysical forces beyond your comprehension. Something is watching you, specifically. Why? We don't know.

???

Profit

[teaboot]

Someone lifted you out of your nice cozy warm temperature-controlled terrarium and dropped you into the background of an X-files episode and you want to know what it is about that which your soft mammal body is finding stressful

[micro-usb-deactivated20230625]

[micro-usb-deactivated20230625]

Funniest comment on this post by far

[cipheramnesia]

Just heard the saying "the rumors are halfway around this town before the truth can get its boots on" and I think I'm going to be incorporating that into my personal lexicon.

[cipheramnesia]

You might think to yourself that's great but when will you ever have a chance to use it and to this I say consider Tumblr.

[memewhore]

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

This man took so much longer to crack than I would have what a PROFESSIONAL

[peripetyy]

Plotting, scheming, etc.

[blueandbluer]

I am weeping 😂🤣😂🤣

[lostinhistory]

Chaos baby

[tikkety-tok]

[newkidsonmycock31]

[pointedahead]

“Stop.”

[memewhore]

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

This man took so much longer to crack than I would have what a PROFESSIONAL

[peripetyy]

Plotting, scheming, etc.

[blueandbluer]

I am weeping 😂🤣😂🤣

[lostinhistory]

Chaos baby

[ulibeanzz]

did i tell y’all that one time when my friends and i were making a joke mockumentary about a fake cryptid, my sibling and i got into a really bad hospitalizing car crash and instead of delaying it we just decided to film in the hospital and also convinced my mom and dad to play roles in it as well?

[ulibeanzz]

[ulibeanzz]

hey just wanted to say thanks for this incredibly chilling remark i’m so scared now

[onlyjellyillputinmybelly]

drop the film op