#SWOLECHESTERAVE

[nixpunk]

people aren't even getting a little bit genghis khan anymore. you guys used to love getting a little bit genghis khan

[butch-king-frankenstein]

my wife is constantly mocking me for how lightly done I like my toast. “your hot bread is done,” she says to me. disgusting

[twerkyvulture]

i don’t say that. “hot” would imply it’s been in the toaster for more than fifteen seconds lol

“your lightly warmed bread is done” i tell u

[twerkyvulture]

one of these days i’m not even gonna put it in the toaster, just gonna breathe real hard on the bread for a minute and you’ll be like “wow this is perfectly done”

[butch-king-frankenstein]

“thank you so much for warming up my bread for me honey, I’m so glad we’re married, I love you” I say to you every time your mean little ass makes toast for me

[youlovetoseeit]

Dead

[mawbwehownets]

ah shit im sorry man, my schedule for the week is all booked

[rabioheab-deactivated20200416]

i’m babysitting this 4 year old kid today and as his dad was leaving he said “be good today” and the kid responded by saying “dad i will punch you in the leg” 

[thewowsignal2026]

[brbjellyfishing]

[secret-aardvark]

The corporate version of “hey OP what the FUCK does this mean”

[snaacks-deactivated20200913]

[immentallydeficient-deactivated]

wait isnt this the old town road guy LOL

[princesscedar]

[milknjuice-deactivated20190908]

the hardest time i’ve ever laughed was when i tried to read “pooh’s adventures of me” out loud to my friends in a mcdonald’s i remember crying laughing for like 3 solid minutes trying to read it

[milknjuice-deactivated20190908]

[hashtagloveloses]

this guy……..makes songs out of popular memes and vines….this is a MASTERPIECE

the power of god and anime:

TWO BROS CHILLIN IN A HOT TUB:

WTF is up kyle:

[brainscrewz]

me: *is sad*

some random shiny thing with no function or monetary value half buried in the dirt at the bus stop:

me: oh ho HOOO

[woodle-dee-doodle-deactivated20]

we’re all just crows with rights and anxiety

[royaleomens]

[kristina100000]

me: i don’t cry easily

needle felted mouse:

me:

[harrystylesnotedaquarius-deacti]

Hozier really went into the countryside for 4 years and yelled and came back politically charged, angry at god, and horny on main

[earthdad]

if you don’t like your subs toasted you don’t love yourself

[thyrell]

never heard that term before wym

[thyrell]

hold on you mean sandwiches

[historical-nonfiction]

Bugs Bunny accidentally transformed the word nimrod into a synonym for idiot because nobody got a joke where he sarcastically compared Elmer Fudd to the Biblical figure Nimrod, a mighty hunter.

[omegajako]

Etymology is ridiculous and terrifying sometimes

[garbage-empress]

Bugs Bunny is more powerful than God

[libertarirynn-deactivated202006]

He also solidified the idea of rabbits loving carrots when carrots actually carry very little nutritional value for rabbits. The funniest part of that is that the original joke was a reference to a Clark Gable film where Gable munches on a carrot, it was never meant to imply that rabbits love carrots. The Clark Gable reference would’ve been obvious to audiences in the 40s but it has been pretty much lost to time.

[celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725]

Bugs Bunny has too much power and should be feared.

[hufflefluffles]

new bi alignment chart