#ableist parents

[pumpkinspicedmochi]

Dear parents

Pretending that your kid isn't disabled and getting mad at them for needing more help and support than your other kids and wanting them to "try harder" and also pretend that THEY aren't disabled by ignoring their OWN needs as well doesn't make them less disabled by the way

[sinmightbeonline]

h ey guys here's a fun little would you rather

mother who uses your autism against you and only considers it when it benefits her vs father that doesn't acknowledge that you're autistic and acts like any display of it you show is cringe and that you're overdoing it

[0bscvr1ty]

ⓘ🌿VENT: I think my parents are ableist agaisnt me, an autistic person ngl

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⚠︎TW: Ableism, parental issues, probably abuse, mental health.

Because when I express distress or vent or show discomfort to *any* degree. I'm met with...

Annoyance.

Disgust.

Anger.

"You're so dramatic."

Gaslighting.

"The world doesn't revolve around you."

Verbal or even physical punishment

"It's not that bad."

"Ugh! I have to walk on eggshells around you!"

Stern looks.

Having stress relief taken away (headphones)

"Other people have it worse."

Confusion as to why things that have always triggered me, triggered me. As if it's a surprise.

Threat to punishment if I don't start looking normal right away.

Making it all about them and how hard their lives are.

Lecturing me.

Acting as if I need to just "try harder/keep trying."

Being in deep denial at the possibility I might be clinically depressed because "I have no reason to be/my life is good."

Invading my space when I try to find somewhere to calm down.

Turning on the light when my room is dark and telling me to "stop sulking."

Rolling their eyes.

Accusing ME of having an attitude all the time.

Yelling sometimes.

My mother "forgetting" I'm autistic because I "mask it so well I appear normal."

Overall invalidating my experiences and existence.

"You're so sensitive."

Judging my comfort media as being "childish." (As if neurotypical people my age and older don't loudly and proudly like similar things-)

Blaming me for not wanting to wear clothes that give me sensory issues and complaining how hard it is to find me clothes.

"I don't remember saying that."

Calling me lazy.

Telling others about me "He used to be good at ___ but now he just sulks in his room."

Not nearly enough shame towards the fact they physically abused me for years. It'd stopped after they realized what they were doing but I get phantom aches especially in my abdominal area and ribcage when they're angry.

Claiming I'm too jumpy when I flinch at sudden noise especially if its a door shutting too fast or too loud.

Blaming me when my fight or flight response is fight. Acting like I'm some sort of aggressive monster.

Having called me names over the years, the most common one being "problem child."

Acting as if my brain fog and severe memory issues is as result of "staying up all night on that damn phone" when in reality I remember my earliest childhood days very vividly but everything after the age of eight is a blur.

Purposefully triggering my misophonia.

Those times they physically restrained me when sensory overwhelm happened and I got bruised so bad it hurt to breathe.

Me having overheard them on the phone with others wishing I was "normal."

Probably more shit I can't even think of yet.

Does that all count as ableist or an I blowing this out of proportion?

[tardisesandtitans]

Not even ten minutes into me having dinner with mum and grandad, I stuttered on saying grandad and she mimicked it. Then she looked like a naughty child, amused but very fucking aware she said something she shouldn't have done.

I hate how I didn't say anything 🤣 she's nearly sixty, why the hell is she such a mean girl? (Rhetorical question)

[majaurukalo]

It’s so fucking exhausting showering in my bathroom because there’s no shower curtain because the one we had broke and my dad never replaced it so now all the water splatters on the floor when you shower and you have to clean afterwards which is pretty difficult and exhausting.

But well, my parents never worried to make the house accessible so I guess it’s not so weird.

[archangeltwins]

why is it my job as the kid to come to you

why is it my job to ask you how to do adult stuff

why are you not teaching me like a parent should????

" oh, but society said we have to push you towards these things "

then why didn't you listen when i said i was uncomfortable?

why didn't you notice when i'd feel stuck behind my peers?

why have you never taken my thoughts into account on more serious conversations?????

" you can't take care of yourself. you can't live on your own. you can't, you can't, you can't. "

WHAT IF I CAN?????????

[deusinabsentiaa]

I'm so frustrated rn. My dad comes with me to my doctor appointments for my medication check ins and stuff for my adhd & autism (which is totally fine, I prefer to have someone there to help support me and be an extra ear), but my mom wants my dad to ask the doctor "how autistic" I am. She wants him to find out what level of support I need and everything, as if she can't just ask me herself. The doctor hardly listens to me and doesn't know the level of support I actually need and regularly tries to gaslight me into thinking I'm much more high functioning than I really am. But my mom doesn't want to ask me or listen to me when I try to tell her what kind of help I need, she wants a doctor to tell her. So she's making my dad ask the doctor at my next appointment how autistic I am, which is honestly embarrassing. Like I'm sorry, but you could just ask me instead of asking someone who hardly knows me and how I function. I'm a real human with feelings and thoughts and lived experience of being autistic, just ask me instead of making it a whole thing with my doctor who is going to say that I need very little support and should be able to do *allllll* these things when in reality, I can't. And the way my mom talks about me being autistic is so demeaning? She talks about it in such a negative way as if I'm a burden on her and my dad, I hate it.

[ettadear]

yesterday at yet another doctors appointment, i was asked about documented medical history of how my pediatricians/past doctors helped with my issues. i told my doctor (new, 2nd appointment) that my mother did not allow me to discuss my medical issues with doctors and i didn’t get treatment until a few months after i turned 18, without my parents knowledge. catching my dad up on my appointment, i mentioned that. he asked me if i’m “going to get over it.” i said no. no i’m not going to get over being called a liar and attention seeker for my entire life. no i’m not going to get over being ignored and told i’m dramatic. no i’m not going to get over the medical and emotional neglect i experienced my entire life. maybe if i got help when i needed it i wouldn’t be disabled right now. i could do the things i love that i will never be able to do again. it’s their fault. it’s her fault. so yes i’m still upset. i will never not be.