I ocasionally get reminded that a lot of people out there don't actually unlearn bigoted ideas, just learn certain rules.
I am physically disabled and high support needs so I often notice that people won't say something to me but they will say it to others who aren't (to their knowledge) physically disabled not realising they're still perpetuating the same ideas.
As an example of what prompted this post, my brother quit our board game today bc his ribs hurt so he needed to rest. My sister said he "should suck it up" and that "he is lazy". She has never said anything like this to me, because she has learned the rule "don't call disabled people lazy for resting". She would not have said this had I quit for the exact same reason but she will say it to my brother because she never learned the why and actually deconstucted the idea.
My sister never learned that it is infact good to rest when you are in pain and no one should be forced or pressured in to enduring pain for others benfit and that the majority of the concept of laziness is built off the generally unhealthly idea that you are morally obligated to put in a certain amount of work into often unnesscary things.
I see it all the time. It's okay if I don't want to go out bc I'm tired but if one my siblings says the same thing they are "lazy". People will say those who don't shower are disgusting but when I comment I don't due to fatigue, depression and severe sensory senstivity issues, they will say they "obviously" weren't talking about me. My dad wasn't mad when he found out I briefly smoked bc he understood my mental health was bad at the time, but still will go on about how he would never date a smoker bc they "don't care about their bodies" (which is also a lie, my mother was a smoker for the first few years of their relationship, so he's also a hypocrite).
