Hey so im sorry for bothering you but i saw your bio and the stories and safe place and I wanted to share this with someone because I don't have anyone to talk about this experience with.
Back in the very end of May, I realized that I was arospec and ace spec and because of it I was very uncomfortable in my relationship so I broke up with my partner and came out partway through June to a couple of trusted friends.
I tried a while later to explain to my parents how I felt without using labels because I wasn't comfortable doing that and the response I got from my mum was "Well I want you to fall in love one day. Besides you don't want to be a 40 year old virgin" and I just 😑😤
I tried again a while later saying I didn't want biological kids and she refuses to accept any reason except I'm scared of the consequences for my body because of a health condition I had and when we later had a conversation about sex and I said I had no interest in it I get "you will soon"
Ever since I came out I've had nightmares fairly regularly starting with my ex telling me there's something wrong with me because of being aroace and then it changes to other trusted people telling me I'm a freak and it's a deformity/disability.
I'm a young adult soon to graduate high school so I don't know much about myself besides my religious beliefs and some of my identity. Is it normal to feel so wrong about yourself or self loathing when you come out? If so how do I come to terms with not feeling this way?
If the label makes you feel better for the time being, use it. As you said, you're a young adult, so you're bound to be uncertain about yourself as you try to discover who you are. You might find that Ace is all you'll ever need for the rest of your life, but there might also come a time when you find something that fits better. That doesn't mean you're lying to yourself, only that Ace was a step in finding who you are.
I was extremely fortunate to be born in in a very accepting area (around seattle), so unfortunately, I can't say to much on feeling wrong about yourself, but I can say that I was extremely uncertain of myself for awhile after I started using the label. I feel that your family (or at least your mom) is the main contributing factor as to why you feel this way.
I hope this helps you, but if you would like advice from a more informed member of the A spec community, please share your story with @fuckyeahasexual.