#alter split

[lostcitysystem]

think we had our first split in a very long time today..

long story short we have an alter who is an introject of our abuser and we thought was just kind of only there as a means to berate/upset our system members because it’s what we were used to back home and ig was ingrained into our brain.

turns out that during this split, this alter kind of fragmented and now we have another alter (we think with the same name) who seems to contain all of our past anger and a lot of our trauma. the original alter just seems to be super fragmented now? like not even an alter anymore?? just like a collection of emotions and parts??

our internal communication has been pretty screwy recently because of a fight between alters so this is just the information I could kind of gather??

honestly no idea what’s going on so advice is very very much appreciated /g

-Newt🦎

[ray-rain-cloud]

Trying to stop a split in our system is like trying to fit a rubber band around several water balloons

[ray-rain-cloud]

So as it turns out, we have a new part. She's either new as in we've just came across her, or we've had a split recently. We're thinking it's likely the second option though, because we've been dealing with some really heavy/stressful/painful emotions lately that we just, couldn't handle. I have a suspicion on who we split from if that's the case, so even though it's stressful, hopefully this will help this part function a bit better, cuz shit was not going well..... Oh, and I forgot to add that she does have a distinct appearance and I know she has a name, damn amnesia is making it hard to recall it, I know it means winter though.

Anyway hi~

[lostcitysystem]

Hello, I am still not very sure how to use this thing but I thought it would be polite to introduce myself.

My name is Alex📻, I am 21 and I am the newest alter in our system. I formed because of a split in our main persecutor/prosecutor which was caused by me not wanting to act like that anymore (I did so because of our childhood trauma).

My roles are described as a recovering persecutor, emotional part (for our anger and sadness at our trauma) and a trauma holder.

I love writing poetry, drawing, old cars, lace-up boots and binoculars.

I hope I will be able to post more on this blog, and get to know everyone a little better.

This is what I look like:

Thank you for reading and I hope to post again soon.

Best wishes,

-Alex📻

[vicistired]

Hello, my name is Vic, and I am the same age as my body (19). my pronouns are he/they, and I am, if you could tell, interested in Avatar: The Last Airbender! I came into existence in the late night of June 29th, 2021. My host, Noi, had just gone through a really traumatic and stressful break up, that forced him to split, create me and go into hiding in our headspace to better cope with the experience. it is unusual to me that when he split, he was the one who kept the trauma and anger, rather than me, the new alter, but I’m hoping that there’s a valid reason for this, somewhere in our head.

I like to believe that this is him somehow taking responsibility for everything? or him trying to stay connected to everything by suffering through it, rather than splitting and just not feel anything again.

i’ll be honest, I don’t remember a lot of the correct wording or phrases for all of this, I’m a new alter and Noi is the one who had seen all the doctors and gotten the diagnosis and done all of the work with this, so i’m going to sound really stupid for a while! I promise I’m trying my best.

on on the topic of Noi, I support him, i really do, but I have no fucking clue what I’m doing at all! this is going to be me documenting myself hellishly suddenly trying to function as an adult in a life that isn’t really mine, and hopefully my struggling will serve as entertainment- or even education- to anyone seeking it!

shout out to the alters who are helping out, Jules, Leonard and Erik! you don’t know them but you don’t have to. they’re amazing

thank you so much,

with love,

Vic