How to Use Magic to Find Love & Whatever Else You Want
In 2021, I began consciously practicing witchcraft. This is also the last time I really did any substantive spell work. At this time in my life, I was ready to be in a romantic relationship again. But even then, I had chronic health and pain problems, and knew that this would present a bit of a challenge. I also knew that, despite the size of the city I live in, pickings were very slim on dating apps. And by that I mean I would only see someone from my area about once in a blue moon, and this was a problem because I didn't want to have to spend 15 - 30 minutes driving to a date after work. I had a very regimented schedule then, and needed someone who was close by.
The very first step I took was to meditate. I didn't realize it at the time, but this is where I set my intention. I was at a point in my life where I was entertaining thoughts like I was unlovable, and I would be alone forever. I was aware that these thoughts and feelings were not going to be helpful to me in the long run, and so I sat with them and reflected upon them. Demonstrably, it was not true that I was unlovable and that I would be alone forever. There are many people in my life who love and care for me. So, what would it feel like to be loved and cared for by a person in the way I needed and wanted to be? What would it feel like to be completely understood and accepted? I let my body feel these things.
And I considered that it is possible that, in some point in my life, I may wind up totally alone due to unfortunate and unforeseen circumstances. But would it be so terrible to be alone with myself? Or was it just that I didn't know how to be alone with myself? If I didn't want to spend time alone with myself, why would anyone else want to spend time with me? I worked on becoming a person that I wanted to be around and who I thought was interesting by turning back to the things I had been interested in in my younger years but had stopped indulging in. I worked on radically accepting myself for who I was. And, I confronted any negative self-talk by personifying it, and basically being a bigger bully to it than it could be to me. Eventually, I got to a stage where I was ready to get on some dating apps and start trying to meet people.
Only, it is a little more complicated than that. By "ready," I mean that if I fell in love again and wound up having my heart broken, I knew I would be able to recover and would be okay. I did not have the expectation that everything had to work out perfectly.
But remember. I'm looking for something very specific, and I want it in a specific area.
So what I do is draw a map. It's a map of the area I want to find my person in, and it is an honest reflection of how far I'm realistically willing to go to find my person. It's about two square miles. Could get anywhere in that area in about 5 minutes by car, give or take. Around this time, I was also very interested in sigils (still am- sigils my beloved <3). So, I created a sigil for "I attract my ideal partner," and drew it within the map. Because the means through which I was seeking dates was mainly my phone, I put the map inside of my phone case. I also added some other loose sigils as well for things like "I attract love to me" and "I am loved for who I am."
When using dating apps, I was generous in who I liked. I figure that I am not good with condensing myself to the size of a dating profile, and most people probably aren't any better at it than I am. If they were cute, they got a like or a heart or whatever-the-fuck a particular app used to match you with others. I even did this for people outside of my map area, because you never know who might be planning to move in the near future or forgot to update their profile. And, it wasn't that I minded going on a date the next town or two over every now and then, but this is not what I wanted once I had an established relationship. So I figure, even if most of these people aren't my person, there would still be the opportunity for fun and to practice being on a date.
I matched with many people and went on dates with some of them, and in short order found someone who was in my city. When we met up for our first date, I asked him where in our city he was located. Would you believe me if I told you he was from right in the very middle of the map I'd drawn? Because he was! Our date went very well, and the rest is history.
However, it is important to note that during this time, despite the fact that I knew I had found the person I was looking for, I did not treat our relationship as such. That is to say, when I told him I only wanted to date him and no one else and he said "I don't know if I'm ready to make that decision yet," I simply supported his decision and trusted that if he was really meant for me, then he would come to the same decision I had. One week later, he did.
I call this my "stray cat method." Perhaps you encounter a stray feline, and feel it in your heart that it is meant to be your cat. If you pick up the stray cat and it does not wish to be picked up, it will fight you and possibly injure you and/or itself, and you will set yourself back in ever gaining its trust. You may even grow to resent the cat. But, if you leave food and water out for the cat, it will get used to coming to your door. If you spend some time sitting outside with the cat, it will get used to your presence. And then one day when you offer it your hand to sniff, it may choose to rub its cheek on your fingers. One day, you can pick it up and walk off with it as you always knew you would be able to. You can make room for the cat in your life, but ultimately the choice belongs to the cat as to whether or not it will take up that space. If the cat is really meant for you, it will come to take up that space you made for it.
Now, I think this process could really be used for finding just about anything you want. If you want to find a new job in your local area, I think this would work great for it. If you're looking to adopt a new pet within a certain budget and range, try this. Get creative!
So, how do you make it work for you?
Step 1: Meditate on what it is you seek. Meditate on what aspect of it is most important to you. Meditate on what it would feel like to have this in your life. This may be a very emotional thing for you to do, and it is okay to release those emotions. I think that's where you get a lot of the power in this magic from.
Step 2: Make room for this in your life in the same way you would prepare for any major new step. Expecting parents fix up a nursery and read books on parenting, people adopting a pet buy it a bed and toys and look into local vets, a plane is inspected before takeoff, and so on and so forth.
Step 3: Do whatever necessary shadow work you need to do. If you're looking for love and like me you felt unlovable, figure that shit out. If you're looking for a job and you're feeling like you're just going to have another bad work experience, work through your trauma with work. Do it in whatever ways help you. Journaling, therapy, exercise, meditation, etc.
Step 4: When you're strong enough to withstand everything falling apart, draw your map. Just the outline of the area you want to find what you're looking for within. Be sure to label the edges of your map. Mine were all labeled with street names.
Be extremely specific and truthful with yourself about your needs and limits. Like I said- my map encompassed an area of about 2 square miles in a city where the dating app pickings were nearly bone dry.
Step 5: Draw your sigil and put them on your map. There are many ways of creating sigils. You are free to use any method you wish, but I will also give you mine. I suggest practicing your sigil on a separate piece of paper from your map until you come up with a finalized version.
Write out what you seek in the present tense, as though you already have it. And, keep it to one item. (Simply make additional sigils if need be.) Good example: "I attract my ideal partner." Bad example: "I attract my ideal partner who is very rich." Fixing the bad example: "I attract my ideal partner" and "My ideal partner is very rich" as two separate sigils.
Cross out any repeating letters.
Begin to experiment with the shapes existing in the remaining letters, until you have a design that uses them all. Sometimes, I may even break each letter down into the amount of lines it takes to make the letter, add up the total, and then create a shape using only that exact number of lines.
I always advise creating the sigils yourself, as I think the intention and creative aspect helps give power to the sigil.
Step 6: Put your sigil in your map. I would suggest using only one sigil on the map, whatever is most important to you. You can draw other sigils, but keep them on a separate piece of paper for now.
Step 7: Put your map in its place. This place should be relevant to your search. That means if you're looking for a date and you use dating apps to do that, put it in your phone case. If you are looking for a job and you use a desktop for that, put it under your keyboard. You can put your additional sigils in this location as well.
Step 8: Begin! Cast your net as wide as possible, and haul in your catch. You will have to sift through it all, but it won't take long for you to find what you seek.
