Imagine carrying the weight and guilt of the death of someone you've loved, one of the most important people in your life, and realizing that you have to get revenge, you have to find out what happened, you have to find out who hurt him and you have to do this without support or hesitation, you don't care, you're never going to leave him unavenged. You show up to the school with nothing but anger and hurt and a wish to show the world how much they hurt him and how much they broke him and you don't care what else happens, you don't care what happens to you as long as you expose how messed up this school is.
Only to find someone hurting as much as you are but in a different way, someone trapped in a cage that he doesn't know how to break out or how to escape and that he put himself in willingly to save his own life at some point in the past. You find him and you see him and you realize that you're alone but you're not alone and you start to push him, prod him, test him and you're tumbling head over heels because you're aching inside, you're bleeding for invisible wounds and he is too, he is bleeding next to you.
So you push closer to him. You push him because you love him and you're scared for him because you've seen how much a person can break when they don't see anywhere to turn and you stay with him, you stay with him and he holds you through a nightmare and that love you nurtured, that love you felt, suddenly turns into everything and there's so much more you want and there's a reason to live and there's a reason to fight that isn't just the dead.
But he isn't ready. He isn't there and you don't understand because he loves you, you can see and feel it and you hear it in his voice and he loves you so why does he hide from you, why does he avoid you? You ask him, you push him, you press him and you need an answer but he doesn't have one and you need one because you need to hear it, you need something else to cling to because you can't escape the pain and guilt and he doesn't even know his mentor is dead.
And now you've kissed him, now you know he feels the same way you do but you know he won't act. You know he's the curse and that he carries the world on his shoulders and that he's afraid of losing his future and you love him and you're scared for him but you don't understand why he won't love you. Why won't he love you the way you lover him, the way you want to be loved and need to be loved? He'll hold you but he doesn't know why you ache and he pulls away and you're lonely again, you're hurting again, but you know he loves you and you won't let him go, you won't risk him, you won't let him hurt alone.
You will carry the weight you won't let him carry. You will not let him be alone. You will never see another person fall without you at their side at the edge of the cliff, holding their hand, keeping them beside you.
