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And a solemn Good Friday to you...
Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Christian Bible Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Characters: Jesus Christ (Christianity) Additional Tags: Blasphemy, Canon-Typical Confusion, Canon-Typical Violence, Heresy, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Surreal, wound fingering Summary:
Whatever else you think of the Christian Bible, this almost certainly never happened.
noah's unnamed wife's pov while her husband builds the ark
She picks the splinters out of his palms at night.
She lights a fire, filling the air with the smell of burning tinder and bubbling fat drippings, and she kneels at her husband's side.
Noah sits, his eyes glazed over with wretched awe as he ponders what his God has asked of him, and his wife diligently removes the shards of cypress wood from his calloused hands. She washes the dust from his feet and scrubs the pitch from his rough-hewn clothes while he picks at his dinner, pushing lentils around without ever taking a bite.
It's as though the divine is a sort of wasting sickness gnawing away at his bones, taking him further and further from her with each passing day.
It is not easy, loving one whose mind is licked by sacred fire, and it's no simple thing, trying to cleave to a man who is already split down the middle in two. One half of him is here, with her, in their marriage bed, breathing in the throes of deep animal sleep, instinctively reaching for her in the dark. The other half of him is forever marooned on that mountainside where he heard God speak for the first time.
The earth will be consumed in a great flood, Noah says, crushed under a great purifying weight so that it may be washed clean.
Most days, he seems to believe it.
During the sunlit hours, when he is busy at work on his ark, she weaves and grinds grain and rubs salve into the skinned knees of her children. Oftentimes, there is no moment to pause to consider the fate of the world. But some days, when the sun dips low on the horizon and her back aches from a long day of labor, she surveys the long arch of creation.
She marks the brutalities of her species, the sins of all the neighboring cities, the black rot hidden in own heart.
But then she sees her youngest smile, or she breathes in the scent of petrichor, or she dips her blistered feet into the coolness of a narrow stream, and she wonders if perhaps, there is not much on earth still worth saving.
Perhaps, verdant life will take root even in the deepest waters of death.
And perhaps, she muses in the quietest part of her heart, God is speaking to her as well.
Have you done any Isaac and Rebecca ficlets in the past?
Isaac spends an hour in the marketplace, scouring the jeweler's stands for the perfect dowry gift. In the end he settles on a golden sunburst nose ring and beaten bangles as silver as the moon. He will give his wife the heavens, he decides, to wear as her adornments.
He can barely sleep those long weeks his father's servant is away, scouring the land of his ancestors for the right bride. He takes to wandering the fields in the blue-light just before dawn, kicking up rocks and conversing with the Lord. He is 37, well past the age of sweaty palms and ruddy blushes, but still he is nervous.
What if the girl doesn't want to come live in with him? What bitterness and enmity is sown between them? What if the marriage bed is frigid?
He imagines what she may be like, dark or fair, curvaceous of slim, somber or smiling.
He decides, he tells the Lord, that he will be grateful with a kind spirit and a pair of lovely eyes.
When the caravan finally reappears on the horizon one blazing hot summer day, it's nearly doubled in size. The new bride has brought her nurse with her, and household servants, and all her worldly possessions.
Isaac drops the scythe from his hand as the caravan comes to a stop next to the field where he labors. A woman dismounts her camel and strides across the parched earth to meet him. He can make out the glint of his bracelets on her wrist, the glimpse of a lovely brown ankle under her skirts, but her face and hair is veiled.
She stops directly in front of him, holding her chin high. Her khol-lined eyes are dark and lovely as a night without stars.
Will you not let me look at you? He asks.
You procured me for your wife sight unseen, she shoots back, raising a thick eyebrow. Perhaps I shall hide my face from you until the wedding night.
A smile tugs at his lips.
She's testing him. His mother would be proud.
Isaac takes her hand, rubbing a little circle into her palm with his thumb. She softens under his touch, her muscles giving way. She does not expect his gentleness, he realizes.
Then we will learn to love each other by touch and smell and sound, he says. Although I should hope someday to earn the privilege of gazing upon you.
She pauses for a moment, then reaches us and pulls the veil from her head. Black waves tumble over her shoulders, framing a ruggedly beautiful face with a full mouth, square jaw, and strong nose.
I am no great beauty, she teases. Perhaps you'd like to send me back and order another bride?
You are the very promise of God made flesh, he says, then cups her face and kisses her.
Jesus fic pt 1 lol
Once upon a time, there was a woman. Now, this woman has fallen on hard times, and has lost hope in humanity, and turned to the gods. Every day she would roam the streets, praising the lord to anyone who would listen. Sadly, there was no one. She was not the most mentally stable. That was fine though, as she was one with God.
But she was not, she decided. She did not feel any more holy than before she started preaching. And thus, her quest to become more holy began.
The saying, "you are what you eat" can be interpreted in multiple ways.
The woman decided to sustain herself solely on bread and wine for as long a she could manage. Suffering from malnutrition, dehydration, and possibly alcohol poisoning, the woman perished after 30 days on this diet.
Then, after 3 days and 3 nights, a man awoke from that dead woman's body.
"By golly I have titties!" was the first thing he said when he awoke. He then frowned in confusion as he was not speaking in a language he knew, yet understood himself completely.
(I'm writing this on my work break so it will end at weird points lmao)
Original story!
Please, Son Of God
(Bible fic, gay, Satan/Adam, self hatred, first person)
The older I am the more I think that Jesus was an alien and all that Christianity is just the misunderstanding.
I started to think about that when he need to go on a desert to pray/talk to his father. And was unconventional in every way (like teaching woman). And healed a lot.
So here are my headcannos:
The obvious reason why aliens would visit the earth is to tell about space federation (Aka The Kingdom of Heaven... kingdom seems less StarTrek but still).
The Jesus want's to tell about joining the Kingdom of Heaven if the humanity grow up to their standards of being good and peaceful.
Jesus was having the high-tech healing abilities. He could give that device/ability to the people around (his disciples).
I like the woman suffering from hemorrhage story. She was healed by touching Jesus and he was like "who the fuck just drained batteries in my devices"? Even so he was again companionate and good for her.
Angel visiting Mary was the alien communication. They need a human vessel to send humanity their ambassador. So the Jesus was engineered human alien hybrid that could be possessed by alien ambassador. (Have you watched Avatar?)
Star over Bethlehem? More like a shiny spaceship. Because why would star hang for months in the same place than supervising the born of valuable hybrid.
Jesus vessel was bounded to the ambassador at least once when it was 12 and amazed everyone in Jerusalem Temple. Then he was active ambassador it's 30s for 3 years.
It's so suspicious that he needed to pray in the isolated places everyday. And he was calling god his "dad". Then I realized that spaceships are often called "mother". But that makes only sense in human reproductive system. Maybe aliens calls their main spaceship "father".
That reminded me of how Jesus started his ambassador activity. He started with meeting the John the Baptist (another miraculous child, probably the human hybrid beta - in the end this hybrid could only eat locusts and honey). So Jesus was somehow guided or activated by Saint John. Then he need the synchronization with Dad ship so he spend 40 days in the desert to do so.
Jesus is telling people that he will come back. Obviously when some of the humankind reach the potential to be part of Kingdom of Heaven, they will be chosen to join it.
His take home message is love yourself and your mates. It look like this is universal galactic knowledge.
I still struggle with the rest of story. Obviously I've seen some analisys before why God choose this time period to put the Jesus on earth. It make common sense as the Mediterranean Sea is in for the first time in one country. There is an amazing net of good Roman roads. And everybody speeks Greek. The best time to spread informations (but not for the whole globe unfortunately).
I also struggle with the Messiah being foreseen in many prophecies. Did aliens use the prophecies of the Israel or they really helped them through history and talked to their prophets? Not a clue.
The last but not least problem. I don't get the whole crucifixion point. The ressurection is fine. Reviving a dead body is cool and possible for aliens. The power will for sure make wird stains on turin shroud.
But why? Why they need to make him killed? And not making big reveal after but just show him to some people. Because the Jesus know he will die and he says that to his disciples. The closest ones. Was he talking about something else? When he told that they can destroy the Jerusalem Temple and he will build it back in three days, was he talking about actual temple? Was the whole crucifixion his plan or it was just accident? So many questions.
Hope you're gonna enjoy my headcannos. Love yourself and you fellows. Bye!
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
I nnever thought that I’d write a Bible fic about Judas, but I found this on my computer with only the vaguest memory of writing it. Naturally, I had to put it on AO3.
Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Christian Bible, Christian Bible (New Testament) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Major Character Death Characters: Judas, Lucifer (Christian Bible), Judas Iscariot Additional Tags: canon character death, Suicide, Prayer, Religion, Ficlet, Betrayal, Sympathy for the Devil Summary:
Judas never prayed for himself.
you're better than you pretend to be
ao3 | aziraphale/crowley, jesus/judas | gen | ~5k
People keep telling Crowley that. He’s not sure he believes them.
