#bisexual aromantic

[jessesajoke]

when i was still religious around the age 13, i wanted to tell my parents i was aro or ace and i tried to explain it and my pastor dad looked me dead in the eyes and said "ohhhh so like jesus"

[lovely-cherubs]

Homophobic Ninjago fans are so fucking weird and stupid. Like do they not realize that this show was literally made by two countries that are pro-LGBTQ+ (Canada and Denmark)? Not only that, but they completely missed the fact that Sally is bisexual. The bi flag was on her guitar case plus she had the progressive pride flag on her guitar. On top of that, her dad's van also had the progressive pride flag on the back.

Even more was that a lesbian couple was in the show in Season 12 and there was a nonbinary character as well. Like how do you miss all of that, but then start spewing a bunch of homophobic shit and drop the series the moment Cole is implied to be not straight? Make it make sense! The homophobia in this fandom is sincerely disgusting.

Cole being gay or queer in general isn't gonna "ruin the show" and if you think that, you have a lot of self reflection to do.

[hemlockpill]

would b awesome to find romance repulsed posts that don't imply I'm asexual/sex repulsed as well. That's all well & good for y'all but it is NOT inherent & absolutely not true for me. I'm not just sex favorable, I'm allosexual. I'm sex crazy. I love sex, I love having sex, I will be having more sex later today, maybe with multiple people. I am actively incredibly sexually attracted to other people, often immediately upon sight, & yet it still makes me feel ill if someone might even BEGIN to think of me romantically. They are not mutually inclusive.

I hate the idea that upon telling people im romance repulsed they will assume I'm sex repulsed or asexual. with my complicated gender it literally makes me dysphoric. PLEASE remember to include us.

if you tag this as aroace or asexual ur getting blocked I don't fucking care.

(not an invitation 2b acephobic)

[snake-bytez]

Okay okay, I think it's about time I post my bi aro Fionna Campbell ramble here. Tumblr has stewed long enough over F&C s2. It's time to unleash this take.

I wish to preface this by saying this is delving into sexuality. Par for the course, considering the conversation, but I am giving that disclaimer ahead of time. Pinned in the more seemingly "unconventional" side of aro identities, as nobody talks about aromanticism without it being inherently tied into asexuality.

I also do not speak for everyone. There is a wide spectrum of all varieties of attraction, of course. This is all headcanon, going along with vague canon details to come to this hced conclusion alongside my own experience with aromanticism, of which I am surely projecting.

Anyways. Not biro somewhere on the aro spectrum, no. Bisexual aromantic specifically. Mostly because I do believe we should talk about the prospect of allo aros more often, but also because I want other people to see what I'm seeing with Fionna's fanatical view of romance that seems to always get squandered when she tries to act upon it.

Fionna's idealized view of romance comes from a very fantasy-based lense. Everything is meant to just work out, and every single relationship is "the one". Her only example probably comes from shows she watches and what she sees from others. An outsider's view, placing fantasy stereotypes onto people she doesn't truly know like that. She doesn't have that spark that people talk about.

That is why Fionna dives head first, and that fast pace unsettles people, sometimes to the point of driving them away. Though, despite this, Fionna never actually stops and genuinely considers her own feelings towards people, because she believes she must prove she is normal. She chases Phelix because it is what she knows, and what she's seen she should do even when there's other people clearly interested in her.

Even if we remove the whole Winter King trauma, Fionna never really genuinely expresses love outside that fanatical view. That moment with Hunter? Crying on his shoulder, drunk, in some cases *does* lead to romance in some shows and/or movies she may have watched. She is shut down instead. Because it's a HUGE consent issue! Fionna was inebriated! It is NOT realistic to real life! Hunter had to put a stop to it then and there.

Though, I do still believe Fionna experiences attraction. Not romantic, obviously. That's the main point of all this. But that's where the bi part of bi aro comes in. She clearly enjoys having intimate moments, and it's alluded to the fact she had sex with Phelix. Vague enough that you can take that claim with a grain of salt, but she was gripping that twink like her life depended on it– That isn't to say we should rule out somewhere on the ace spectrum altogether due to that fact alone, I actually encourage that really, but I am only taking what I can see right now.

She is frequently calling people hot, though now that seems to be an aspect she shares with all Finns too. She is comfortable in her sexuality, it is the more mundane romance that she doesn't quite seem to get in a realistic view. Which... Makes sense, at least to me. You usually get the time to debate with yourself about your sexual orientation, but you don't usually put time into the idea of romantic attraction if you're still keen to the idea of fucking. Due to our society, which sexualizes everything everywhere, the idea of figuring out your orientation is still more focused on your sexuality than anything else. If it's not about sex or gender, it's not often spoken about.

Fionna, as we currently know her, comes from a grounded reality universe. She is human in a mundane human society, not human in a post-apocalyptic fantasy world. We need to look at this in our own lense rather than what may be going on in Ooo. One's personal orientation may still be scorned, and the exploration and discussion of said orientation may very much mirror our own. Fionna probably won't know for a long time that she is aromantic, because the conversation of aromanticism is so tied to asexuality that people believe they are one whole. Fionna probably knows she's bisexual, and that's about it. She fills in the gaps and assumes she's biromantic as well due to it, but she wouldn't say she's biromantic because she has zero labels for romantic attraction specifically to fall upon.

Anyways, that's the whole ramble. I am entrusting all of you here to be normal about this take. Apprehensively giving it over, because I do not trust the fandom's current state either. I should've started with aroace Huntress take post first and see where we went from there.....

[theo-the-cat-guy]

I love being aromantic! I get to have pertners and be poly and love them just as much as anyone else would but it doesn't jave to be a special different kind of love that needs conditions and rules, I just get to love them more than anything else in the world and that's enough <3

[yourfaviseverything]

Mold Mario and his spores are bisexual and aromantic!

[dankest-of-lies]

i am aromantic bisexual . aegoromantic bisexual to be specific (　・３・)👍

[aesthetictanuki]

I thought that in celebration of Pride Month, I should finally make a proper post. Not only to, as stated, celebrate it, but do a little bit of pondering. I'm a yapper with constant strains of thoughts, multiple happening at once, so I may as well share them (or at least some of them). But take into consideration that this will most likely be an absolute mess, as I can never organise my thoughts fully.

Pride is important for me, for my friends too. It makes me think a lot as well, about my own identity, the state of the community, many other things. So...

I'm an aromantic bisexual person - I think you can imagine how confusing that was for me to discover. Now, note that all of this is just my personal experience, I do not speak for others. But for me, it was a long journey to understand who I am.

The bisexual part was already difficult to accept at first, because I live in a country that's leaning right and catholic (it's changing, but it still has a long way to go), so I was in denial for a long time, with a big dash of internalised biphobia. When I managed to cross that bridge, I was still confused by why I wasn't, and I'm still not, interested in romantic relationship and romance at all. Why it's an idea completely missing from my brain when I think about my future and present. Why as soon as someone becomes romantic toward me, I'm completely turned off and taken aback, because I can't reciprocate what I can't feel - but I'm very much fine with the more "sexual" parts of relationships and anything that comes with it. Add the fact that we live in a world that puts romantic love on a pedestal - and I'm happy for you all, I can accept its importance to others and understand many do not feel like I feel, obviously. It's just been isolating, making me feel like I'm broken, because I don't feel or need what is deemed "one of the strongest, most beautiful and important feelings you'll experience" as I've heard in songs, and shows, and comics, and movies, and commercials, and from people around me (because maybe if there was a talk about lgbtqia+ in schools, that little queer kid that was me wouldn't waste years spent hating itself).

Then, I disovered the ace community a while back and it got me thinking. Turns out I'm aro. The descripton of the label fits me incredibly well, and while reading and hearing others' experiences, I went "hey, that sounds like me!" more times than I can count. It was nice. To finally understand myself and the happiness I feel when I can now proudly state "oh, I'm bi aro". To be able to put my experiences into words, in my eyes. Because I personally like to be able to belong in a group, knowing there are others who go through what I go through, at least to an extent.

Now, I've recently also been thinking about my gender identity. The best way to put it is to say "I'm under the non-binary umbrella." But honestly, that doesn't still fully fit me. It feels like no label fits me in this regard- because to me expression is just expression, clothes are just clothes. I don't feel more masc or more fem, I don't feel like a woman nor a man, but I don't feel agender/non-binary either. Yet sometimes I feel like all at once. But overall - I just feel like me. It feels hard to put into words though, since it's still a new experience for me.

And this got me thinking about labeling and anything in regards to it.

I feel like many people missed the point, I think, of "don't label people" that our community talks about. Because in my eyes, it's "don't speak for others." "Don't put them in boxes they tell you don't fit them."

Yeah, sure, I'm bisexual. But then others may feel surprised that my description of bisexuality can differ from other bisexual people. To me, being bisexual is to be attracted to what we deem as masculine and feminine. Not precisely just "men and women". I feel attracted to it, to certain features of what we understand as those. I am attracted to certain gender expressions, way of being, if that makes sense (while discovering I'm not particulary attracted to androgyny, personally). I've read through other labels and all, but none fit them like bisexuality fits me, so I am bisexual - my bisexuality just differs from others'. Just like being aromantic. I'm romance-repulsed, I feel uncomfortable and bothered when someone admits having romantic feelings toward me, I don't see myself in relationships, ever, because I don't even desire them, I don't feel "alone" nor "missing" anything. But my aromanticism is not others' aromanticism. Same goes for my gender identity.

All of this is why I think microlabels are incredibly cool. To be able to be specific and able to find what suits your experiences, because for example me and my friend are both bi, but he's differently bi than me - and I think this complexity of human experiences is beautiful ( hell, the fact that there are also people who go completely labeless and just say "I'm queer" is beautiful to me too). Even if I'm aromantic as in also completely repulsed, I still love people platonically, like my friends and family, but there are people who are aplatonic, for example. It's incredible to me in how many ways human beings can just be and exist. I think it's just important that you're the one who shouldn't label people. Don't give them labels that don't fit them, labels that they don't want, labels for people you barely know because "they fit a stereotype" or "seem that way to you." Let them speak for themselves, let them put their own experiences to words without speaking over them. I personally think that's the whole point.

And I've never understood this inner "war" that has been on and off here. People being angry at those who are labeless, or people who use microlabels, people who go by xeno or neopronouns. I don't personally see the issue, I think it's amazing how many various experiences there are to anything and everything that is queer, yet we can still share a community and support each other. At least we should, instead of, I don't know, hoping that bigots would spare you, because you also acted hateful? I genuinely don't get it.

Now, that is, I think, a good time to mention that people heavily against their own community one way or another are not welcomed here. I don't think I'll get along with transphobes, non-binary phobes, TERFs and others. Anyone bigoted to that high of a degree, to me. Sure, we can have a conversation, I hope you're willing to be educated and change your mind - but if your goal is to put people down because god forbid they're not "queer enough" or "queer in a way that is different from what you like" etc. then don't expect me to be particularly nice to you. If you have the guts to hate on others in such a disgusting way, you should have the guts to deal with the consequences of your own actions.

Speaking of hate spiraling out - I personally think the internet made us believe that you apparently can't care about multiple things at once - or at least some people tend to forget that you can.

June is also Men's Mental Health Awareness Month. Now, I don't know if putting it in June was deliberate or not, maybe it was, maybe it was something else (as both were first established around the same time). But honestly, I think it kind of goes hand in hand in a way.

Despite it being 2024, I still hear people calling anything remotely "feminine" or vulnerable and emotional "queer" and "gay". And gay is bad and disgusting, so you shouldn't do that, right? (/s).

As a queer person then, I'm gonna say: no. Don't let them think that emotions and vulnerability is "gay", whatever it means in their eyes. Even if it was - who cares? Be gay in their eyes. Because one of our messages, in my opinion, is to be comfortable in your own sexuality and gender, and expression (or lack of it all, if you want)- because it should be, personally, the job of others to work on stopping with labeling people just because they think "that's the box you should go to, because that's how I view you", not to mention using it against others.

Define what is masculine or manly in your own way - if you're not hurting others in any way, being masc / a man can be whatever you want it to be. Hug your friends like you'd hug a partner or a family member. Cry when you want to or laugh out loud when something makes you laugh that hard. Be a masc stereotype if that makes you genuinely happy, with a giant beard, and a buff body, and a stack of beers in your fridge if you deem it as manly and you enjoy being manly that way - or knit, take pictures of butterflies, wear dresses and skirts, and do makeup. If you're not harming anyone or anything in any shape, way or form, that being a man can be what you want it to be.

And in that definition of being a man, I think you all should remember to be, despite what the patriarchy and the goverment wants from you, a human. Human with emotions that you should never be ashamed of, and feelings that are not stupid, or "gay", or "beta" or whatever toxic masculinity people are calling it these days. Go to a therapist or a psychiatrist if you feel like you're struggling, talk to others about your problems if they're becoming too much of a burden, express yourself and remember that you deserve love, support and help like anybody else - because it's crazy to me how many men in my life avoided asking for help, even while pretty much writhing in pain, because "men cannot be weak". I do know it's not as easy as I make it out to be. That's why we should talk loudly about it - to finally, together, in this month, realise that we all have a common enemy here (societal structures, rich and elites, the ones in power etc.) And that deep down, the root of our problems is more connected than we think - for they tell us all that we should be ashamed of who we are, and that's what we should all be against.

We can care for ourselves while caring for others.

That's also a good time I think to remind you all to not let anyone pinkwash you while atrocities are happening around the world. Nobody should be experiencing such horrible things, no matter what. And always remember that it's "human rights" not "people I personally like rights", human rights should not be transactional. Don't let them silence the ones suffering in Palestine, and Congo, and Sudan and many other places. Again - we can care about our own struggles and issues while simultaneously caring about others. Don't let anyone tell you, the internet especially, that world is as black and white and one-dimensional as they make it out to be.

I hope I got all my points across - but we can have a convo if you feel like something should be specified. So:

Happy Pride Month! Being queer is not a sin or something that should be fixed. You were born this way, so you were born beautiful in your own way. Every single letter, every single identity, we are all amazing and valid! Labels, microlabels, no labels, trans and non-binary, old and young, fully out or still in the closet, or questioning. Whoever you are, you deserve to have the space to be yourself, and be happy. I'm sorry the world feels like it sucks - but that's why we should strive to make this community the best it can be! You deserve to be here! I'M PROUD OF YOU!

Have a great Men's Mental Health Awareness Month! Your feelings and emotions are human and valid, and being vulnerable and emotional has nothing to do with being a "real man" because being a man is whatever the hell you want it to be, as long as no harm is being done by what you're saying or doing. Identifying and feeling close to what it's defined to you as masculinity should not be immediately piled up with being harmful or "taking the enemies' side" (yes, I've seen people genuinely saying that). Being a man is not automatically being violent, and harmful, and disgusting, it shouldn't be. That's why I encourage you all to redefine what society put into your heads - we can have a talk about toxic masculinity and everything that comes with it while remembering that there's nothing wrong with simply being a man, whatever it means to you.

And I think I need to remind some people - I'm including trans men in this. You didn't "take the enemies' side", I believe there's no "internalised misoginy" in you, you're not suddenly worse because you realised at one point in your life that you're a man. You're valid and amazing and being respected is your basic right. Never let others take that away from you.

To all men, also never be ashamed to speak up about your problems and feelings, or go to a professional if needed, no matter how hard it may be at first. I may not personally be a man, but I have men family members and friends. And I'd much rather see them cry a river and scream into oblivion about their problems, and admit they're struggling than, God forbid, go to their funeral later. Your mental health is important, whatever you're going through!

Never let others take those who are currently struggling out of your mind. They want us to normalise pain and suffering, they want us to give up. Don't let them. We can make this world a better place - and it's going to be a whole lot easier while working together. Remember about charities (like Operation Olive Branch), remember that speaking up and taking a stance already helps a lot!

Whatever else people may be celebrating this month, big congrats to you and I hope it goes great! Maybe just in case - Happy Birthday, if you're celebrating!

And maybe to end on a light-hearted, dumb little tumblr note, because maybe that will make you crack a smile-

Here are some fellas that I desperately want to bite in a nice way:

And lovely ladies that can pick me up and take me whenever the hell they want to: