You lay flopped back in bed; legs twisted into your sheets and eyes staring straight up at the ceiling. It was past midday. Yoongi had obviously been at work for hours without you. You didn’t know why you had slept in or why you felt so exhausted now, but the anxious shake in your body foretold of the dread inside that he would be angry. He’d never really been angry before, but lately there had been something underneath the surface - a certain irritation. Even with your small contributions at his work office, you still felt self-conscious of your uselessness and sure that he was growing tired of it also. Now that you hadn’t even made it to work today, Yoongi would no doubt lose his pretense of calm.
You were an anxious mess. The last few months had seen you relying on his calm demeanor but it all seemed to be crumbling right from underneath your feet. Your heart hammered with love for him - for his gentleness with you, and quiet perseverance in getting to know you, and the way in which he covered his face whenever he laughed as if he was embarrassed to be caught out, and the way he leaned in whenever you spoke like he was listening to the most important thing in the world. It hurt. To love someone you knew was only here because he was legally signed to you. Knowing that he might not be here for much longer.
The front door clicked and your entire body froze up. Was there an intruder in the house? You had been a worrier your entire life and felt sick with the idea of being defenseless against whoever had come in to attack you.
A minute of baited breath passed and you made a sudden leap from the bed and then under it. Your bedroom door was still open and you felt the vibrations of footsteps nearing with your ear against the floorboards.
Shiny black shoes.
“Y/N?”
A rush of relief filled your cheeks at the recognition of Yoongi’s voice. But you were too emotional to move.
His shoes squeaked slightly as he turned and searched the room, then opened the door to your ensuite and peered inside. You could hear his breath becoming more laboured, battling within yourself to clamber out and spare him the trouble. It was harder the longer you hesitated.
“Y/N? Where are you?”
Something in his voice struck inside of you. It was something you recognised very well, an emotion you had been plagued with most of your life. Fear. It was barely detectable behind his raspy timbre, but it was indefinitely there. You sucked in as he checked the closet not for you, but for your suitcase.
“I’m under here,” you revealed yourself, sheepishly crawling out a moment later.
Yoongi stared at you with eyes that didn’t know what to make of the situation.
“Why were you under the bed?”
You blushed, slumping on your shaky legs.
“I thought you were an intruder.”
His shoulders relaxed about the moment yours tensed further. He raised his eyes to you again with a spot of annoyance in them.
“Why didn’t you come out when I called?”
You couldn’t answer. Nor could you look at him. Finally he sighed and stepped forward.
“Here, come.”
His arms wrapped around you a moment later and your face squished into his chest. He smelt strongly of the cologne he had put on for work. You expected the hug to be abrupt, but instead he appeared to have even forgotten who he was holding. You could have released the tensions you had been feeling all day right then, but instead you created more by wondering when he was going to let you go. Eventually he did.
“How are you feeling?”
It was uncertain as to what he was referring.
“I - am fine.”
“Are you hungry?”
The word seemed foreign. In fact you had forgotten until now that there was a such a thing as food, which was unusual for you. You nodded.
“Let’s go make something, then.”
Curious, you followed him out into the kitchen, eyes noticing the several plastic bags immediately.
“Make?”
It had become habit to live off of pre-made and takeaway food in your married life, as neither of you had particularly embraced the idea of cooking. However, the sight of fresh ingredients stirred up your tastebuds in a longing that you hadn’t known you had.
“Yeah, I don’t know but I’m a little tired of store-made stuff. Thought if we started helping each other out, cooking wouldn’t be such a chore.”
He wanted you to cook together? Natural instincts told you that it would just be another way to prove to him how useless you really were, but the interest you felt in working together overpowered those thoughts.
“What kind of things will we make?” You asked, reflecting the tone of what a child might sound like.
Yoongi shifted over to allow you space to work on.
“Do you like stuffed potatoes?”
“Oh!”
He glanced over at laughed at the look of delight in your eyes.
“I take that as a yes. Here, chop up these mushrooms while I put the potatoes on.”
It was comfortable doing something so casual as cooking with Yoongi. Unlike anything you had ever experienced. The closest feeling you could associate with it were those few memories where your mother had taught you something, like how to tie your shoelaces, or plait your hair. But this was different. There was no fear that your father would come along and ruin the moment, no sadness that these moments were one in a million. You liked it. You liked it a lot.
In between chopping, you stole quiet glances at Yoongi’s face; directed seriously at the potatoes.
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Yoongi sighed deeply, skimming over the several pages that Taehyung had thrown at him before he had left that afternoon. There was still nothing specific enough to state that your father was a dangerous associate, although it was becoming more and more clear that the possibility was strong. He hated the situation that he was in, mostly because he felt like he was sneaking behind your back to source out the truth. If he could be honest he would be, but he knew how intense stress affected you, and he never wanted to see that happen again.
“Oh Taehyung, please let this be one of your ridiculous theories,” he murmured into his hand, eyeballs red-rimmed and forced awake above it.
“Working even at home?”
Yoongi tossed the papers underneath some books in a scramble over your appearance.
“I was just reading over some articles my colleagues gave me,” he replied dismissively, eyes scanning your recently-arisen countenance. “Why are you awake?”
“Just finding it hard to sleep,” you answered shyly, taking a chair across from him at the dining table. Yoongi felt the guilt press in on him with your eyes pointed at the papers scrutinising your father. Slowly he pushed all of those things to the side.
“A lot on your mind, then?”
Your eyes lost their focus and became filled with images of your life.
“Yeah. There’s always a lot on my mind. Thinking has basically been the only thing I’ve gotten to do.”
Yoongi observed you.
“Don’t you get bored? I mean,” he fumbled for the right words awkwardly,”don’t you sometimes wish that you could try something new?”
A blush of embarrassment formed in your cheeks.
“Well at the moment I’m trying this new thing called marriage.”
The air grew thick around you as you felt the full impact of what you had just said. It was out of character to be so sarcastic, and even though it had come out in your usual shy tone, you felt horribly ashamed for saying it. Yoongi simply seemed curious.
“And how is it going?”
You raised your eyes to his dark ones meekly, trying to control yourself from feeling so self-conscious.
“Better than I was expecting,” you practically whispered.
He blinked.
“Me too.”
The night air seemed to change into something surreal at that point, swirling around you both even while going unnoticed. You hadn’t anticipated a response, and quite frankly didn’t know what to do with it. His eyes followed your every attempt at avoidance, until you could bear it no longer.
“Would you like a hot drink?”
“I’d love a coffee.”
You froze in your half-arisen sitting position.
“At this hour?”
“You can’t sleep, so we might as well pass the time together.”
Too flushed to argue with this, you got up and prepared a coffee for him, and a herbal tea for yourself.
It wasn’t real. It simply wasn’t real. He’d merely said that it had gone better so far than he had expected, and you had no idea what his expectations had been. Yoongi had never shown more than kind respect for you. It had been enough to make you fall in love, but him? Your stomach churned over. He had actually had a chance to experience the world - you had no pretensions that he would love someone who had experienced nothing.
“Thanks,” he murmured as you handed him his mug of coffee, setting it on his knee in his new position on the couch. You took the armchair. “How about a game of Spit?” He asked. “You know how to play?”
Regretfully, you shook your head.
“Okay,” Yoongi set his mug down, then reached for a pack of cards sitting on the coffee table. “I’ll teach you.”
You watched him in interest while he divided out the cards.
“Basically you want to be the first person to get rid of your hand. We get twenty six cards each. Fifteen of those you spread out into five stacks.” He lowered his head down in attempt to meet your gaze. “Still with me?”
You nodded energetically to mask another one of your blushes.
“The first stack - only one card, facing up. Second stack has two cards with one facing up and the other facing down.” He set his out in demonstration.
Yoongi continued to explain the game, which unfortunately for him, had to have several repeats because of your usual initial confusion with games. But before either of your drinks had totally disappeared, you were into it and throwing the cards down in attempt to beat Yoongi. It was not easy, especially still being in the learning stages. He appeared to be a master at the game.
“Hey!” You shrieked in laughter when he finished while you were still only halfway. “I’m feeling like you have the unfair advantage here.”
“And that is?”
“Knowing how to play!”
He stretched his palms flat open and shrugged, coolly dismal of your lack of skill.
“We’re going to keep playing until you beat me.”
You laughed in protest.
“We could be here all night.”
“So be it.”
The two of you played for two hours, having still seen no success in your winning. There had however been several close calls, until your tired brain had given up and resulted in a severe slowing of thought process. It caused for a lot laughter.
The entire event had taken its toll, and you were now fast asleep on the floor. Yoongi was tired but still felt awake after drinking the coffee. He looked at you while you breathed softly in your unconsciousness, remembering the time not so long ago where he had been in a similar situation on your honeymoon night. Then, he had no idea what to do with you. Now, with the sound of your laughter still in his ears, he felt a little more sure. He just didn’t know how to go about it.
Grunting as he lifted himself from off the floor, he took both of your mugs to the kitchen and rinsed them out. The clock read 3:47am. Bleary eyed and regretting the coffee, he returned to your sleeping form and scooped you up. You were even lighter than he remembered you being. Fascinated by this, he carried you into your bedroom like you were a delicate flower, and laid you down as gently as he could possibly manage at this hour. You sighed softly. He couldn’t help it; the feeling of your body light as a feather, your peaceful face after a night which made your voice hoarse from laughter, your messy hair all over your face… He brushed it back gently, then drew away from your side, allowing you to sleep.
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Heyy, so sorry that this story has been dormant for so long!! The truth is that Quillfire has been very busy with uni this year, and between that and other things, her inspiration has run out for the blog, and she’d rather write her originals with her spare time... which is fair enough!! I don’t know for how much longer I’ll keep going either, but two things are for sure - I’ll be finishing everything we’ve promised, and the blog will remain up permanently for you guys to read what we’ve posted in the past. I may or may not post casually when I get a random strike of inspiration!!
So anyway, sorry that it has to be me who keeps things going. I can’t write like Quillfire can, but I am attempting to do this and the other stories justice :P. I hope you like it!!
And feel free to still request. I’d still like to stay connected to you guys. Just tell me what you would like to see, please, I really don’t know and I’d rather post something you enjoy than waste my time on something no one would read! :P
- Dolceice
