#complex identity

[icarusredwings]

Tw: Vent/ Rant. Aphobia, racism, relationship hiarchy, sex talk, the bean soup theory.

I'm fed up with how ungrateful fanfic readers have become. I sound way more upset then I actually am, I'm just really passionate.

Most of you are children that shouldn't even be on my fucking page and I'm lowkey done I catch you on my page. The fact that one of you made a whole new account just to comment some bullshit is enough for me to know you dont actually care about this topic as something serious, youre just hating because you feel bad about yourself and think being a jerk online will help you. Newsflash it wont.

Don't care, Block me.

This is about sex favorable aroace grace and alloromantic allosexual carl, just so yall know.

Ive gotten anonymous asks telling me im a bad person, that I "am not actually aro if you write romance" (thats what my pinned post is about), that i "am taking away representation", that im racist for making carl his friend with benefits because it "plays into anti black stereotypes" Like im sorry? Is this not 2026?? Are we not over the whole sex positivity thing??

Yall always want reputation until its not exactly to your liking and its getting annoying. "We need more representation of complex identities" but freak out when an asexual is sex favorable because it feels good sometimes. "But what if sex feels bad for me?" Then dont read smut?? Why are you at the lemonade stand if you want to buy fucking grapes?? Go to the grape store!! All I have is lemonade!! I don't have any grapes!

If youre too young to know what thats referencing do me a favor and block me because youre too young to be here.

Ive even gotten one on Ao3 saying I cant write grace getting married because "marriage is for love and clearly grace cant love if hes aromantic" which is a WILDE statement.

Ive seen demisexual simon, I have not seen any Aceflux grace. Aceflux is under the asexual umbrella. Grace can not feel romance but he can feel love 100%. He loves Carl. Also marriage is mainly legaliality for taxes, you don't HAVE to be in love or romantic to get married. Anyone can be married for what ever reason. You can be in a relationship where romance isn't there, you can be in a marriage with no love at all BY CHOICE, its considered fraud because of taxes. There's no laws saying you HAVE to have romance to be married.

I could make them roommates and still married. I can make carl bi, sleep with and be romantic with my oc susan (and STILL be married to grace because of legal bondage benifits (but i wont because that's not the story I want to tell)

In the fic Im having someone tell Grace that he doesn't want a partner, he wants a best friend, and Grace is on the brink of tears "Is.. is there something wrong with that? Why.. why does everyone act like your partner being your best friend is such a bad thing..?"

Some could chop it up as "Grace dosnt understand because he doesn't understand the difference" but the issue is everyone labeling any sort of intimacy as romantic and telling those who want intamacy but not romance that theyre bad people.

I dont think im capable of feeling actual romance. I think I want a bestest friend to kiss and get sexual gratification from once and if im ever ready. I don't want a traditional marriage but I want to get married (mainly for benefits despite the fact im disabled and will loose all my benifits when and if I do marry- which is bullshit by the way) because socially it is so much easier to live life when married. If it was up to me we would have a pretend wedding to signify loyalty and thats it. But legal matters, its super hard to go through out legal life with your "room mate" or "boyfriend"

Grace and Carl have a companionate relationship. Theyre room mates who are best friends and when in the mood do sexual stuff and kiss to show affection. Sure, Carl is alloromantic and feels romantically towards grace, especially when Ryland is cuddly or introduces him to people proudly as his husband, but he knows the situation hes in. He knows that Grace doesn't have the same feelings. He knows grace loves him and thats all that matters to him.

Both of them are happy

Thats all that SHOULD matter.

Fanfic writers work for FREE, ussually for their own indulgence because what they want to read dosnt exist yet. YOU write something if you want to read it. We do. For free. And all you guys do is complain.

"Well I don't want to read about kissing stuff" then don't. Write your own where grace is disgusted by kissing! Love that for him!

Its OKAY!! I and many many other people love and support you for who you are. If you are ace and you get repulsed by smooching, that is A-okay! Write grace repulsed by smooching!

If youre Aromantic and do not like relationships, write grace in no relationships! Please! I want to read that too. But im using my free time, spending HOURS to write what *I* want to. Please do the same!

"But what if I dont want grace to get married because I don't want to get married?" Thats awsome man, write about Grace not connecting with the concept of marriage! Write him feeling icky about it! I love grace who jumps out the window the second his partner talks about marriage. So much actually. This story specifically though is for ME and what I feel.

Write what YOU want to read and what you feel! Please! I want you guys to write! Even if you dont think it will be good. You might be surprised with yourself! I was afraid to write when I was young. Now im not.

I love reading Grace in different dynamics, drop fics of Grace being complex. I want to read complex grace and so do so many others!

TL:DR Don't make bean soup if you hate beans! Cook something else!

Also- ignoring my sex repulsed grace fics and only honing in on this one because hes not repulsed feels telling about your stance on asexuality. You dont actually care about rep you just want something to be mad about.

[this-is-anti-subtliden]

I keep seeing all these people be proud of their confusing genders and I support them as well but in the end there is a way to make sense of them, maybe just to themselves or to certain people, and I feel so lost because they could make sense of themselves but I can't. Do I deserve to celebrate pride if i don't know what i am? i dunno im just confused and confusing others.

This is (internalized) anti subtliden

[interspadias]

Dont wait til you feel perceivably androgynous "enough" to dress up or down to your hearts content or intermix things you like that are seen as "boy/girl" specific or be loud about respecting and using your unconventional name and pronouns because dysphoria is a bitch and that day of feeling "enough" might never come if you keep waiting for a sign that you're allowed to start being yourself, to stop wanting to please people with rigid views of what gender is "supposed" to look like

[pennys-coins]

There is most likely a flag/term like this that already exists but I wanted to make one that looks like the sapphic and achillean flag..

𓐇ᩧ⠀𓈒⠀ Muxiac⠀⠀✄﹒⤸

゛ ⑅⠀A flag and term for complex gendered people who are attracted to/in a relationship with other complex gendered people. The name stems from the term Muxe which is a Mexican term for third gender. The flower featured is the queen annes lace. 𓏼 ⬦⠀ꜝꜝ

[angylwyfe]

♫ Mothcresen !!

pt: Mothcresen!! (moth-kreh-sen)

。 a self-assigned label for those who — as a person — IDs as ノ with Moths and Creatures!

this could be as much as identifying as a Moth Creature / Moth & a Creature or just associating Moths & Creatures with yourself :3

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

free to use by all◞ reminder that this is not a flag! just a collor palette assigned to this label <3 ◞ this term is a recoin of @gardendoggy's mothcreature! thank you so much for letting me recoin it, truly !!! ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡ (pls lmk if you want me to remove the tag)

[then0rthernd0wnp0ur]

“Well if you can be that then I can-“ yeah. Yeah you can. Literally nobody’s gonna stop you. They’ll try but you’ll have a community to back you up. Just don’t be a douche. It’s not that hard.

Support contradicting labels. Support things you don’t understand. Try to learn. Protect your peace but not at the cost of others. Don’t like smth? Block and move on, never harass. If something seems mentally dangerous to you? Not your job to deal with it. Be pro recovery. Death threats and mocking aren’t pro recovery.

[nullandvoidstar]

"I don't understand [insert identity here]" Okay?? Then either make an effort to understand it, or move on. It's not that difficult, and what someone else chooses to call themselves is none of your fucking buisness. Folks are gonna do what makes them happy, and you're allowed to ignore it.

[mattieandthescouts]

“I’m not woke enough for this” get woker bro