Jisung couldn’t wait. His knees bounced, trying to distract himself with the track in front of him. Clicking away with his mouse, letting the unheard music play over and over again in his headphones.
Today was the day. Everything would change after two pm. He tried to busy himself around the house; cleaning the bedroom, doing some laundry. Even went out for a jog. So out of character for him.
But when something this big is happening, he can’t control how…different he acts.
SMUT — MINORS DNI
It’s thirty past two. His phone is dry (it doesn’t help that he checked it not even a minute ago). Jisung is starting to get antsy; why hasn’t he heard anything? Have you heard anything? What is taking so long that you can’t even shoot him a quick text. Fuck, he’d take even a thumbs up emoji right now.
Restart the song. Tweak it. Wait. Wait, and wait, and wait—
Until there’s a tap on his shoulder. The headphones are all but torn from his skull, whipping his chair around quickly to come face to face with you.
Jisung’s reaction makes you giggle, hands lovingly cupping his chubby cheeks. “Hi, did I scare you?”
Eyes like saucers, he shakes his head. “Did you find out?”
Your teeth dig into your bottom lip, corners turning up into a soft smile. It’s been hard for the both of you, waiting for this clearance. The restless nights, a heavy pit in your stomach that you can’t extinguish. All of it is either painful or uncomfortable, leaving you lying on your belly as you cry into your pillow. Jisung so gently stroking your back, reassuring you that it’s over soon.
The timer has ticked. Time is up.
“I still might be a little sensitive.” You say softly, pushing strands of hair that had fallen out of his ponytail back. “But—“
Jisung has spent all day wasting time. Trying to get the clock to move a little fucking faster. He can’t take anymore waiting. Hands on your hips, he tugs you into his lap, the chair leaning back with your combined weight. Your lips clash, a quick but affectionate motion of tongue and teeth making you both groan into each other. The kisses of relief, of joy. Of knowing that finally, finally the two of you can love each other in ways you only know how.
“Where is she?” Jisung breaks the kiss long enough to ask, though his lips never leave your body. They pepper gently across your jawline, body trembling in his hold. “Do I need to call my mom?”
You giggle. “I already dropped her off with Minho. You’re not the only one who needs this, Sung.”
Four months. Four months and some change since he last touched you, felt you. Back then she wasn’t here yet, your belly warm under his hands as he gently rocked into you. There were so many tears that night, from you and him. Kisses that neither of you could get enough of, enjoying your last moments before you wouldn’t get a chance like this for a while.
While is up.
His grin is contagious, head rolling back against his chair as he chuckles happily. Fuck, he’s so excited. He can’t explain how giddy this makes him — it’s like the first time all over again, but better.
So much fucking better.
“He’ll keep her all night?”
You raise a brow, chuckling as you lean down. It’s your turn to pepper his face with kisses. “Or until we go pick her up. She’s only next door. Why? Did you plan for this to go all night?”
“Maybe. Is that a problem?”
“Hm, no.” Your teeth scrap against his neck, bringing a low moan from him. “But we better get started if that’s the case.”
Seconds. Maybe five. That’s how long it takes before you’re pinned to the ground, a fit of giggles as your partner buries his face in your neck. He’s scrunching up your dress, hands exploring your perfect body. Stretch marks and all — you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever seen.
Jisung is so lucky to love you.
Fingers hook around the waistband of your panties right as he looks up at you. Hair fanned around you, bright eyes and a lazy smile. God, he’s crazy about you.
“I’ll take my time later.” He promises, moving the fabric slowly down your thighs. “But right now I just need to feel you.”
You cup his face again, fingers creeping back to release his shaggy hair. It’s frames his face perfectly; chubby cheeks and galaxies in his eyes. The most wonderful person, partner, father. And he’s all yours.
“And I you, my love.”
Jisung smiles before he kisses you, quickly removing your clothes and pushing down his sweats. He grabs the base of his cock, pushing it through your folds slowly to collect your slick. Fuck, you’re so warm, so—
You’re wincing in the kiss when he’s near your entrance, fingers clutching onto your hair.
“Is this alright?” He breaks from your lips to whisper.
You nod quickly, taking a deep breath. “Just be gentle.”
“Of course, petal.” Kisses on the corners of your lips, nose nuzzling against your cheeks. “Tell me if it’s too much.”
A kiss to his cheek is your response. An encouragement to go ahead. Why take it any slower?
Eyes locked, Jisung aligns his cock with your center once more. When you smile softly, that’s when he begins to push in. It’s a slow movement, careful to not cause too much damage as he stretches you out again. But also to take in this feeling, remember how much he fucking loves it. How close to you it makes him feel, how comforting it is to be inside you.
“You feel so nice.” He whispers, smiling down at you. “Is this okay?”
You return the smile. “You can go faster if you’d like.”
Fuck, he’d love to. His hips quicken just slightly, not stopping until he literally has no choice but to. Your jaw drops lazily, pretty moans spilling from your lips. Walls fluttering around him.
Your body is like home. God, how he’s longed for you.
“Fuck.” You whimper, eyes fluttering shut. “Sung, so good—“
“I know.” He says breathlessly, hands flexing around your hips. There are tears stinging his eyes — in all the ways he knows to love you, this is one of the most raw. The most beautiful. The most powerful. It’s earth shattering to be here again, his either chest caving in. It’s the best feeling in the world, one that brings tears to his eyes. “You’re divine.”
He needs a moment. To savor this, to enjoy the feeling of being so deeply connected to you. This. This is love in its purest form.
How could he waste this time?
Tears roll down his cheeks, dropping off his chin on your face. The feeling has your eyes opening, brows narrowing in concern as you quickly wipe his tears away. “Jisung—“
“I’m alright.” He reassures you quickly. “I just—fuck, I just adore you.”
For you, he’d steal the stars.
“I love you.” You whisper, lip trembling as your own tears start to form. “Fuck, you’re my everything, Jisung.”
It’s time to move. His cock is begging him, needing to feel the friction. To feel more of you. Slowly, he pulls out, but not too far. He wants this fragment of time to last.
“And you mine, my love.”
There’s no way either of you will last too long. You’re both well aware of it without even speaking it — it’s been too long. Too much time spent away from each other. It’s like the first time all over again, but in such a different reality. The first time as parents, the first time after such a long time.
There’s more than one first. How magical is it that you get to experience it all with Jisung?
He’s starting to sweat, hands on either side of your head as he picks up the speed just a little bit. There’s a fuzzy feeling in his center, the rope tightening as he gets closer and closer to euphoria.
A hand slides under one of his. Fingers flexing around it. When he looks at you, everything just makes sense.
Mark’s entire world had been turned upside down in a matter of a few hours. Just four hours ago, he was working hard at dance practice, and now he was a father. He felt so many things, shock being the most prominent, shared with complete awe and love for you and your new son. The fact that he hadn’t held your newborn yet hadn’t even crossed his mind, he was far more concerned with both of your health and wellbeing, considering you’d had no pre-natal care. The hours dragged on, the amount of nurses and doctors coming in finally beginning to thin out. Your son had been laying on your chest for quite some time, having eaten and been burped already. You were so exhausted, a mixture of the birth and the late hour, but Mark was still wide awake, mind racing. However, managers and staff keep disappearing and reappearing, talking to Mark and whoever was on the phone in rapid speech. Mark could see the way it was affecting you, the way you move to almost protect your baby from the outsiders.
‘You should get some sleep,’ he murmurs, noticing your eyes dropping closed and then opening again.
‘I can’t look away from him,’ you admit, ‘he’s so perfect.’
‘I know, baby, but you need to rest,’ Mark reaches out a hand and brushes your hair from your face, ‘besides, I haven’t held him yet.’
Your eyes widen a little, ‘oh, of course not, I’m sorry.’
Mark chuckles, ‘it’s okay, it’s important he gets to know his mama. I’ll keep an eye on him while you nap, okay? I’ll wake you if he needs anything.’
‘Okay,’ you sit up slightly. The handover is awkward, it being the first time you’d done it, but eventually Mark has the tiny baby in his arms, kissing your forehead before murmuring a ‘goodnight, I love you,’ and settling into the armchair beside your bed.
‘Love you. Please keep him here,’ you mumble, turning onto your side and closing your eyes.
‘I will, don’t worry sweetheart.’
Mark is quiet for a few minutes, gently yet stiffly rocking the baby back and forth, examining his face and all the details. The baby looked so much like him, and he knew it, feeling an enormous sense of pride at the boy’s identical nose and eyes, that he’d seen in baby photos of his own over the years. Once he’s sure you’re asleep, he begins to talk to his son, wishing the infant to get used to his voice.
‘Hey, baby boy,’ Mark begins, lightly shushing the baby when he fusses, ‘it’s okay, everything is just fine.’
You were just on the verge of falling asleep when you hear Mark’s voice, heart warming at the sound of the love of your life talking to your firstborn.
‘I didn’t even know you existed a few hours ago, but God, I love you. More than anything. You’re so perfect, such a beautiful baby, all from your mama. She did so well, didn’t she? Carried you for all that time… I promise I’ll be here for you, always. Everything I do from now on is for you and your mummy/mommy.’
You still lay awake, eyes filled with hot tears at the pure love that overcomes you.
Mark is silent for a few moments, staring back into his son’s deep brown eyes, ‘I promise I won’t let you down. I love you, son.’
renjun
This was the moment Renjun had been anticipating since the moment you found out you were pregnant. He’d been terrified at the time, the pregnancy was unexpected and Renjun wasn’t sure he was ready or capable of being a father. At the same time, Renjun’s thoughts were filled with questions and worries about your baby. What would the baby look like? How big would the baby be? Would they come during the day or the night? But his biggest fear of all, was that your baby wouldn’t like him. He didn’t have the best luck with other member’s babies; generally they would cry and protest in his arms. He tried to prevent this, doing any and every bonding exercise with your bump that he could think or read about, hoping that when your son arrived he would feel comfortable and safe with him.
‘Jun?’ You’d been holding the baby for over an hour, having some skin to skin and your first feed. Renjun froze a little at the expectant look on your face, like he knew what you were about to ask.
‘You should hold him.’
Renjun blinks, ‘are you sure? you’re bonding with hi-‘
‘Jun,’ you repeat, softly, ‘he’s your son. He’s not going to hate you. Besides, I want to see my boys together.’
‘Okay,’ Renjun reaches down for the baby on your chest, cringing when the baby whines and fusses, ‘hey, don’t cry, please don’t cry.’
Renjun rocks and bounces him awkwardly but to no avail, and he sends you a look screaming for help.
‘It’s ok, Jun,’ you smile, ‘keep talking to him.’
‘He doesn’t like me,’ Renjun begins to panic, ‘he was happy with you, maybe you should-‘
‘Junie,’ you retort softly, ‘he just doesn’t like that he’s been moved. Keep talking to him, he’ll know your voice.’
Renjun gives himself a mental pep talk, slightly relaxing when he looks at the face of his baby boy.
‘It’s okay, it’s just me, I’m your daddy.’
You give Renjun an encouraging smile, and so he continues, ‘I really hope you like me from now on. Most babies don’t.’
The baby is gradually calming down at his father’s voice, so Renjun keeps talking.
‘Good boy, do you know my voice? I tried to talk to you as much as possible while you were in there so I hope you recognise it.’
The baby is now settled, staring up at his father with big brown eyes. Your heart melts at Renjun’s wide, toothy grin.
‘He likes me,’ he says to you, before turning back to the baby, ‘I think you look like a Tengfei.’
‘I like that name,’ you hum, ‘Huang Tengfei it is.’
Renjun’s smile gets impossibly wider, pride filling his chest knowing he’d just named his firstborn baby boy.
‘I love you so much, Huang Tengfei.’
jeno
You had never felt so at peace. You had just given birth to your first child, a daughter Moonbyeol in your bedroom at home a few hours earlier. Already, Moonbyeol was a very chilled baby, rarely fussing or crying. She was perfectly happy just laying on your chest, staring back at you. Jeno had been laying beside you for several hours now, engaging in hushed conversation with you about your newborn, all while unable to take his eyes off her. It hadn’t even crossed his mind that he hadn’t properly held his daughter, as you’d been snuggled together so close. As time passed, you grew more and more exhausted, the energy you had spent during the birth beginning to weigh you down.
‘How long has it been since she fed?’ you wonder aloud, ‘the midwife said every three hours..’
‘I think it was at six,’ Jeno says, ’so three and a bit hours ago.’
‘She needs more,’ you mumble, sighing deeply, already pulling your top down to give Moonbyeol access. Jeno helps you guide her head to your chest.
‘Agh,’ the pain is sharp when she latches, and Jeno kisses and rubs your hair in encouragement.
‘You’re doing so well, look at how well she eats.’
‘It hurts so much Jen,’ Jeno’s heart hurts at the look on your face.
‘I know, I know,’ Jeno frowns, ‘it’ll get better, with time.’
‘I hope so,’ you say, ‘I feel sore all over.’
‘You’ve been so incredible,’ Jeno praises, ‘we did so well with her.’
‘Yeah, we did,’ you grin, the and the two of you settle into small talk while Moonbyeol eats. After some time, she pulls away, ready to be burped.
‘I don’t want to move,’ you admit, ‘too tired.’
‘Hey, I’ll take her,’ Jeno offers, ‘you can stay in bed. Plus, I.. I haven’t got to hold her yet.’
‘Oh. I’m sorry.’
‘It’s okay, don’t be silly,’ Jeno presses a kiss to your cheek, ‘I’ve been so close this whole time. You should get some rest.’
You suddenly realise how drained and exhausted you truly were, eyes and body heavy with fatigue.
‘I think I probably should,’ you mumble tiredly, ‘Moonie, daddy’s going to get all that horrible air up for you.’
It takes perhaps a little longer than it should have, but eventually the baby is successfully passed into Jeno’s arms.
‘Hey, Moonie,’ Jeno rests her on his shoulder, gently patting her back, ‘you’re so tiny.’
You move to lay down on your side and rest your eyes as Jeno talks to your daughter in a hushed voice.
‘You’re so beautiful,’ Jeno meets his daughters eyes, seeing his own staring back at him, ‘look at those brown eyes! So pretty. No boy will ever be good enough for such a beautiful girl.’
Jeno slowly wanders out of your room and into Moonbyeol’s nursery, wanting to give you some peace to sleep.
‘This is your room,’ Jeno turns the baby in his arms so that she’s facing the majority of the room, ‘this is where you’ll sleep, where you’ll play… I hope you like the way we decorated. If you don’t, we can change it later.’
Moonbyeol’s eyes flicker around the room, although her expression is blank.
‘Look, Moonie,’ he walks towards her unused crib, looking at the silver mobile that hangs over it, white and yellow moon and stars hanging down, ‘it’s like you! You’re our little moon star.’
Moonbyeol burps at that exact moment, and Jeno chuckles, not sure whether he should be offended or not.
‘Well, that says what you think of that.’
haechan
Donghyuck naturally comes across as a conceited and cocky person, you know that’s just his humour. He’s cheeky and bold, but at the same time down to earth and a total sweetheart. He acted quite similarly when it came to his impending fatherhood, on the outside appearing as though he was completely confident, that he would take being a father in his stride. But on the inside, he was terrified. Sometimes he would catch sight of you, his pregnant wife, and would feel a deep sense of dread alongside the rush of love that would bubble up in his chest. When you went into labour while eating dinner together, he thought he was going to be sick, the crashing realisation that this was it. You’d done so well, going through hours of contractions before your son began to struggle, and you were taken into an emergency c-section. You were crying softly as they prepared you for the surgery. Donghyuck emerged from the bathroom in his scrubs to see you laying there, and you immediately you’d reached out for him. In that moment, he knew how much you needed him, how much both of you needed him. In that moment he knew he’d do anything to be the best father and husband.
Your son Dalgun was eventually delivered through the C-section, laying on your chest for quite some time as you were stitched up and wheeled back to your hospital room. Donghyuck hates the look of discomfort on your face as you try to move around on the bed and feed. You’re exhausted, in pain and in need of a good rest, but you had to stay awake for your son.
Donghyuck tries to make himself useful, keeping the hospital room tidy and making sure your water cup was filled and you hadn’t bled too heavily onto the pad beneath you.
Part of him aches to hold his baby boy. He so desperately wants to just reach out and take the baby into his arms, shower him in all of the love he had to give. But at the same time, he didn’t want to. He was frightened that his son would be unsettled with him, that he would do something astronomically wrong like drop him. After some time, the nurse knocks softly on the door, coming to check on your surgery site.
‘Donghyuck,’ you croak, his heart hurting when he sees you laying there, exhausted and in pain with your son on your chest, ‘will you take him?’
‘I-‘
‘Hyuck,’ you notice the way he freezes, but he melts and relaxes at your tone, ‘its okay. You’re his daddy. You did so well at the classes.’
Donghyuck shakes himself. You’re vulnerable, you’ve just had invasive surgery and you need him. And he’s terrified of holding his own baby.
‘Okay.’
The nurse helps with the handover as it pains you to lean too far, and suddenly there’s a seven pound baby wriggling around in his arms. Dalgun cries shrilly at being moved, Donghyuck cringing as he wails.
‘Dalgun-ah,’ he clumsily rocks the baby, ‘won’t you be a good boy while mummy/mommy gets looked after? I’m not a stranger, I’m your daddy.’
Donghyuck sways on his feet, soothing Dalgun, ‘your mummy/mommy is so so brave. She is so incredible, Dalgun-ah, she’ll be the best mummy/mommy in the whole world to you, I just know it. And I’ll try my absolute hardest to be the best daddy. I love you.’
jaemin
Jaemin thinks that his daughter’s birth was nothing short of perfect. You had given birth to Chaeyeon in a birthing centre, early in the morning in a birthing pool.
Jaemin had sat right behind you, in his swim shorts, with you between his legs, not even wincing when you near crushed his hands while you pushed. Jaemin had been the one to cut the cord, before the baby was taken away to be weighed and given her first injection.
Jaemin had felt new foreign feeling of resentment towards the nurse, who he knows deep down is just doing her job and ultimately protecting your daughter from disease, but at the same time, she made his baby girl cry.
Chaeyeon is bought back to you, now with a band-aid covering her injection site. Jaemin holds you in his arms, resting his chin on your shoulder and just soaking in your daughters face. For some time, the two of you get used to Chaeyeon, taking in her appearance and mannerisms and sounds. Jaemin doesn’t even really care how dirty the water is.
‘Y/N? Why don’t we get you cleaned up a little?’ the nurse suggests, and you’re more than happy to be helped out of the pool and herded into the shower in the conjoining bathroom. Another nurse had held Chaeyeon as Jaemin carried you bridal style into the bathroom and gently setting you down on the shower seat. He hangs around for a few minutes, eyes darting between you and Chaeyeon’s general direction, clearly conflicted as to who to stay with.
‘Go and be with her Jaem,’ you hum.
’Do you need me?’
‘I’m all good here,’ you answer honestly, ‘I think this may be quite gross, anyway.’
‘Okay,’ Jaemin leans over to kiss your cheek, ‘I’ll look after her.’
‘Oh!’ The nurse left in the delivery room is holding the little bundle in her arms, ‘lets go to daddy, shall we?’
Jaemin beams as his baby girl is handed to him for the very first time. His heart feels like it may burst out of his chest as she gurgles, tiny fists waving around above the pink blankets.
‘Oh, angel,’ Jaemin coos, ‘you’re killing me.’
Jaemin knew that this baby in his arms officially completely owned his heart. He knew it was over for him, that there was nothing he would not do for his little girl.
‘You’re such a pretty girl, Chaeyeon,’ his heart aches at her glistening eyes and nose that mirrors his own.
‘You’ll have so much love in your life. You already do. You have so many uncles who are just dying to meet you, you have a godfather who would do anything for you. I.. I would die for you, I love you more than anything in this world.’
Chaeyeon waves her arm around, peeling back the blanket slightly.
‘Oh, you don’t have any clothes on,’ Jaemin brings her over to the changing table, lowering her down as slowly as he possibly can.
‘Which should be your first ever outfit?’ Jaemin sifts through the folded up baby-grows in the small suitcase you’d brought along. He picks out a white one, patterned with little brown teddy bears.
‘Uncle Mark bought you this one,’ Jaemin buttons up the onesie, ‘like I told you, everyone loves you Chae. But not as much as I do!’
Jaemin nuzzles their noses together, before cradling Chaeyeon in his chest, pressing a kiss on top of her head.
‘I love you, angel. I’ll be here for you always.’
chenle
Chenle was the best partner throughout your entire pregnancy. He did absolutely everything for you and your baby’s comfort, fulfilling your every need and wish, whether monetary, physical or emotional.
It seemed everything had to be perfect, the quality of your care, your baby’s nursery, your birth plans, everything. If you showed any slight indication of discomfort at any point in your pregnancy, Chenle was instantly at your side, going out of his way to somehow alleviate your pain. He was almost jumpy in that sense.
He was strangely calmer than you thought he would be when you went into labour. You had been taken to the hospital where Chenle and his family had naturally made sure you would receive the best treatment, with a spacious private room and a dedicated team of familiar doctors and nurses. You laboured for hours on end. For nearly twenty hours, you’d suffered through some of the most immense pain imaginable, completely supported by Chenle who fusses over you and holds your hand through it all. Frustratingly, you had been dilating excruciatingly slowly, and eventually the doctors decide a c-section would be best for both you and your baby.
Your beautiful baby girl joined you in the early evening. Chenle was so overcome with love for his daughter. You both knew that she would be his little princess, that he would spoil her rotten and that nobody would ever lay a hand on her. He came up with the name Caihong, meaning rainbow. She was the rainbow that brightened up his life.
When Caihong came out, they had taken her away briefly to be weighed and checked over, before returning her to you.
‘You did so so well,’ Chenle stands as close to you as he can get, still in his scrubs as they stitch you back up, ’she’s beautiful. I can’t believe it.’
‘I’m so tired,’ you laugh, having been awake for the entirety of your labour, ‘she’s ruined me.’
Chenle chuckles, ‘they’re going to wheel you back into the room once they’re done. We’ll turn the lights down. You can nap soon.’
‘M’kay,’ you roll your head back down to look at your baby, ‘she’s perfect.’
’She is,’ Chenle nods, leaning down and pressing kisses into your hair, ‘I love you both so much.’
The first hour with your daughter is so precious. You are taken back to your private room in your bed, Caihong resting on your chest the whole time. You’d done your first feed, burping her while sitting up in your bed. Once you’d finished, the nurses left, and the three of you were alone together for the first time.
‘Are you tired?’ Chenle asks, running a hand through your hair, fussing over you.
‘I’m exhausted,’ you murmur, ‘never been so tired.’
‘Why don’t I take her?’ he suggests, ‘you can lay down and have a nap.’
‘Are you sure?’ the offer is so unbelievably tempting, ‘I don’t want to just leave you on your own.’
‘I’ll be just fine,’ Chenle reassures you, ‘you just fed her. I can change her myself, if she needs you I’ll wake you.’
‘Okay,’ you nod, moving your arms so that Chenle can easily take Caihong from you.
He grunts dramatically as he raises her up, as though he was lifting some massive weight, ‘hi baby girl.’
Chenle holds Caihong in one arm as he helps you lay down comfortably, reclining your bed back down with the remote so you were laying down.
‘Comfortable?’ Chenle checks, rubbing your upper arm with his spare hand.
‘Yes,’ your eyes are already closed, ‘love you, Lele.’
Chenle grins, ‘I love you too.’
As you fall asleep, Chenle slowly does a few laps of the hospital room, rocking Caihong in his arms. Once he’s sure you’re mostly asleep, and that talking won’t disturb you, he speaks to Caihong in a hushed voice.
‘Hi my little angel,’ he stares into her shining brown eyes, absolutely entranced by her, ‘we’ve waited for so long for you. Ever since your uncle had your cousins, I’ve wanted a baby of my own. And now you’re finally here. You’re already so loved, Caihong. I’ll do anything for you.’
Caihong looks at him almost as if she’s listening and understands what he’s saying. Chenle’s heart seizes and threatens to break out of his chest, he loves her so much.
‘You own my heart, Caihong. Daddy loves you so much.’
jisung
Jisung was the first to hold his baby girl, and although it wasn’t for long, it was a fact he took great pride in. Jisung had completely frozen up when your midwife had asked him if he wanted to deliver the baby. His mouth had dried up, completely unsure of what to say, until he caught your gaze, face slightly screwed up in discomfort, but still encouraging him to say yes. He had taken the midwife’s offer, and under her guidance, caught your baby girl as she came out. Jisung had worried that he would drop her, due to the baby being covered in blood and various bodily fluids, but thankfully he manages to keep her in his grip, holding her up for a few moments before placing her on your chest.
Jisung didn’t get her back for another hour or so, not that he minded. You handled your first hour of motherhood expertly, Chunae was an extremely calm baby who fed easily. She was so intrigued by the both of you, as you both were with her, her brown eyes studying your faces. Jisung had never felt so many overpowering emotions at once. Firstly the feeling of pride that he’d been the one to bring Chunae into the world, and the fact he had a part in creating what he believed to be the most beautiful baby in the whole world. And of course, he felt such an overwhelming and intense love for both you and your baby, after watching you go through hours and hours of labour and delivery in his family home. You had been giving skin to skin for over an hour before you offered the baby to Jisung.
‘Hey, Jisungie,’ he is immediately by your side.
‘Do you need something? Water? Another pillow? The pad changed? Are you in a lot of pain?’
You smile at how flustered and caring he is, shaking your head, ‘no, I’m alright. I just thought you might want to hold her.’
Jisung softens, heart suddenly hammering in his chest, ‘oh, y-yeah. Yeah, of course I’d love to.’
Jisung leans down and gently picks Chunae from your chest, taking a few moments to get her into a good position.
‘Hi baby girl,’ he murmurs, strangely nervous, as though it was somebody else’s child.
‘Ah, good timing,’ Jisung’s mother suddenly enters the room, ‘I made soup for you Y/N.’
‘Oh, amazing, I’m starving,’ you welcome the bowl of hot soup with both hands.
Jisung wanders the room, rocking the slightly gurgling Chunae in his arms as he approaches the bedroom window. He doesn’t really notice you watching him, his thoughts all consumed by Chunae. His mother even points it out, catching your eyes and nodding towards him.
‘Hi,’ Jisung shakily removes a hand from underneath her to play with her own tiny hand, melting when she curls her hand around his finger.
‘You’re so small,’ he whispered, ‘like a doll. And so well behaved too, you didn’t cry one bit when I picked you up.’
Chunae just looks back up at him, and Jisung gently wipes at the spit collecting at her mouth with a cloth.
‘I promise I’ll look after you angel,’ he nuzzles his nose against hers, ‘no one will ever hurt you. They’ll have to go through me first.’
Jisung suddenly can’t get the image of his baby girl as a teenager out of his head, his getting her heart broken by some worthless teenage boy. He imagines comforting her, giving her encouraging talks and building her confidence back up, utilising the skills he would have learned as a father to his little girl over the years. But for now, he knows nothing, only what he has read in pregnancy and parenting books.
‘I don’t know much,’ Jisung rubs his thumb up and down on her face, ‘but I promise I’ll be the best father I can possibly be for you. I’ll try so hard to do everything that’s right for you. I already love you more than anything in this world.’
Chunae yawns, tiny fists flailing weakly as she does.
‘Am I boring you?’ Jisung chuckles, ’you can’t be tired, not when I’ve just got you.’
‘You should sit down with her,’ you suggest, taking a short break from your soup, ’she’ll fall asleep on you.’
‘I think I may fall asleep also,’ Jisung chuckles, although settling into the armchair near your bed.
‘Group nap?’ You suggest, your own eyes feeling heavy.
The group nap very quickly ends in Jisung’s mother removing the sleeping Chunae from a sleeping Jisung’s chest to lay in her crib.
phrase(s): 29: “I’ve got the baby, you go back to sleep”
age: Sunmi = 8 months
warnings: none
________________
You opened your eyes, scrunching up your face as you realised the reason for your awakening was your baby’s screams as she cried.
“It’s okay,” Jisung soothed, stroking your hair, “I’ve got the baby, you go back to sleep.”
You groaned, stretching your tired limbs as Jisung climbed out of your bed and wandered across the hallway to Sunmi’s room.
“Sunmi-ya,” he called softly, “why are you crying? Hm? My poor baby.”
He felt her nappy, which seemed to be dry, “are you hungry?”
But this wasn’t her usual hungry whining. She was screaming and screaming, her face getting hot.
“Okay, okay, shh shh,” he soothed, bouncing slightly as he held her in his arms, “is it your teeth, baby? Are you in pain?”
Just one month ago, she had started chewing on everything she found around the house, and sure enough upon inspection, she had two little teeth growing. However a month later, both you and Sunmi had found that growing teeth was not much fun, and instead was extremely painful. (Both for her gums and for your ears).
“Okay, come on then,” he whispered, carrying her to the kitchen where he got a frozen chew toy out from the freezer and waved it in front of Sunmi, “here look! Chew on this baby, I promise it will make you feel better.”
But Sunmi didn’t understand that yet, and instead kept wailing and wailing.
“Baby girl, please,” Jisung pleaded.
You sighed, finally getting up, “Sunmi-ya, what’s wrong?”
“Ya, I told you to go back to sleep,” Jisung said, turning to face you.
“I’m not deaf, Ji, I can hear her crying,” you chuckled, “it’s okay. I’m here to help you.”
“I think she’s teething, but she won’t chew on the frozen toy,” he said with a sigh.
You nodded, “just hold her so her face is over your shoulder; I’ll put it in her mouth.”
Jisung nodded, holding Sunmi higher up.
Her chubby little fist was in her mouth. She chewed on her fingers as the rest of her face was bunched up.
“Here, don’t do that, baby,” you spoke softly, removing her hand from her mouth and immediately replacing it with the cold chew toy, “does that feel nice, hmm?”
You took her hand and wrapped it round the toy so that she could hold it herself.
Her cries reduced to whimpers as she found her gums getting less and less painful.
“Good girl,” you praised, stroking her hair.
Jisung sighed in relief, bringing her back down so he was holding her at chest height, “see? I told you you’d feel better baby.”
You smiled, resting your head on Jisung’s shoulder, your hand rubbing his back, “you know she’s not gonna go back to sleep now, right?”
Jisung laughed as lightly as he could, “yep! I know!”
phrase(s): 2: “Do you think I’ll be a good dad?” & 9: “I’m pregnant.” & 12: “So, I have some news.”
age: Jiyoung = fetus (1 month)
warnings: pregnant!reader, mentions of infertility
_________
“Jisung?!” you called, hearing the front door slam shut.
“Hello!” he called, a smile on his lips as he placed down his keys, making his way to the bedroom where you were, “what?”
Your lack of answer made his eyebrows furrow, concern lacing over him.
“What?” he repeated, “are you okay?”
“Of course,” you smiled, “um, so, I- uh, I have some news.”
Jisung frowned, “what?”
A small smile played at your lips, but there were tear marks down your face and a general look of concern.
“I think this is it.”
Jisung paused, finally seeing the four pregnancy tests stacked on the bed, “y-you...”
“I don't know, I can't promise you but I- I threw up this morning and then I ate pancakes with chocolate and olives? And then I just kept wanting eggs and then it suddenly hit me, wh-what I was doing.”
“Go! Go! Go! What are you waiting for?!” Jisung exclaimed, pushing you into the bathroom, following after you excitedly.
“I was waiting for you to get home!” you laughed, “but, Ji, we can't get too excited, what if it's not—”
“But what if it is?” he asked, sitting beside you on the bathroom floor, holding your hand in his as you took the tests.
“And now we wait,” you sighed, closing the toilet lid and sitting in front of him.
“I have a good feeling about this one, darling,” Jisung said, his knees bouncing excitedly, “I've been so happy today, you know? I just feel... right.”
“Stop it,” you sighed, “because you’re just gonna make yourself more disappointed if it’s not.”
“I know, I know!” Jisung chuckled, kissing your head, “ask the boys, mmkay? I’ve spent all day saying I thought something good was gonna happen. I’m just... positive. We can at least hope, right?”
You nodded, falling into Jisung’s chest with a sigh, “we can hope.”
“Look, the doctor has said we can get a prescription for fertility drugs. If this isn’t it, it’s not—” Jisung cut himself off, listening to the beeping of your alarm, “it’s time! Go! Look!”
“Okay, okay,” you sighed, hauling yourself back up before standing over the tests, “please. Please, god, please.”
“Wait! Wait!” Jisung exclaimed, now standing in the bathroom door, too nervous to look at the tests himself, “December 18th, 5:01pm. And the result is...”
Individually, you turned over each of the tests.
Positive. Positive. Two lines. Two lines.
“Y/N...?”
You turned around, looking at Jisung with wide eyes.
“The result is....” he spoke again.
“Positive,” you whispered, your hands flying to your stomach, “it-it’s positive. I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant! We’re having a baby!”
“We’re having a baby!” Jisung squealed, “Y/N, we’re having our own baby!”
You threw your arms around him and his arms went around your bum, pulling you up so he could spin you around. Your legs instinctively wrapped around his legs as he laughed and spun and spun and spun.
“We’re having a baby!” he cheered, moving one of his hands to the back of your head to pull you closer, planting a kiss on your lips, “I can’t believe it! Oh my god! D-Do you think I’ll be a good dad?! I don’t know how to be a dad! Jesus, oh my god, there’s so much to do.”
“Woah, woah,” you laughed, your hands playing with the hair on the back of his neck, “so many thoughts. Let’s just be happy now, yeah?”
He nodded, placing you down and rushing over to view the tests himself.
“Positive...” he whispered, breathlessly, in disbelief.
You smiled, walking up behind him, one hand resting on his shoulder, one gripping his forearm.
“I...” Jisung stopped, unable to form words as he turned to you with tears in his eyes, “finally.”
“It’s a blessing,” you laughed, tears clouding your vision as Jisung kneeled down, nuzzling your stomach, before pressing several kisses to the skin.
“Thank you,” he mumbled, “thank you, thank you. Oh my god.”
You laughed, running your hands through his hair, “do you wanna tell anyone?”
“Not yet,” he sighed, standing back up and pulling you back into a hug, so tight you felt the most secure you had in several months, “I wanna keep you two to myself for a bit. Thank you. My absolute blessings.”
can you do #90 with dad!han? please and ty! i also love your writing! 🤍⚡️❤️
한지성 + #90
20:35 - “good night, baby girl,” jisung murmured, his lips resting against his daughter’s forehead as he spoke, also pressing soft kisses to the spot.
“daddy,” soyeon said, suddenly awake again after jisung’s many efforts.
he stopped, and sighed, “yes, baby?”
“how do i know you and mummy will still be there in the morning?”
jisung looked down at the four-year-old in shock, “soyeon-ah, do you really think me and mummy would ever leave you?!”
he sat on her bed, pulling her onto his lap and pulling the fairy bedsheets over them both.
“you’re my everything, han soyeon,” he whispered, resting his forehead against hers, “you’re my beautiful girl, you’re my sunshine. why would me and mummy ever leave you? how could we leave you?!”
soyeon giggled, “i love you, daddy.”
jisung’s heart warmed as his daughter’s small arms wrapped around his body, “i love you too, bunny.”
“i’m never going to leave you and mummy,” soyeon commented, snuggling against jisung’s chest, her voice becoming more weary as she drifted off to sleep.
tears found their way to jisung’s eyes. he knew she was going to leave one day; go to parties, get drunk, meet boys; meet one specific boy or girl and get married and have kids of her own.
“i love you more than you will ever know, soyeon,” jisung whispered, kissing her head.
“stop being sappy,” you chuckled, cradling your baby bump as you stood in the doorway, “you can put her down, you know.”
jisung huffed out a laugh, “i’ll be there in a minute. i just wanna hold her a little bit more.”
you smiled, walking over and kissing jisung’s head, and soyeon’s, “i’ll see you in a bit. goodnight, my baby.”
you waddled out the room and jisung turned his attention back to his daughter, stroking her hair, “my baby.”
Being a father could not let go his only child... for now.
"so, what are you doing right now?" 49 year old! Han Jisung asked his daughter who was on the other line. he closed the refrigerator with his elbow, other hand held a beer for himself as the other hand held his phone.
"just busy with the exam, dad"
"have you eaten? you know you must stay healthy for the ex-" he rapped not realizing.
"dad, i know what i am doing... i am 19 now, and you were rapping" she said making Jisung sighed and chuckled as he put the beer on the counter. you looked at his back and smiled sadly as you continued putting the food on the dining table, he smiled looking to the wall in front of him.
"noo, you are still my little bean" he said, remembering he and his daughter moment. his daughter groaned, making him smiled.
"okay, i give up this time dad" he looked down to the counter, his finger trying to open the beer can.
"how's mum doing? and how are the uncles and the songs? when will you guys comeback?
"mum's doing great. and for answering that, yeah the uncles are doing great and miss you so much. even your favorite weird uncle" he said walked to the dining table laughing as the other line laughed remembering her weird uncle, Changbin. Jisung pulled the dining chair for him to sit down in front of you, who was already sat down, looking at him carefully.
"i hope that you two and uncles are doing great when i work hard for graduate in this semester." she laughed making Jisung smiled as he picked the spoon, taking the pork beef and put on his plate.
"we are just doing fine, little bean. we should worried about you" he said, drinking his beer slowly. he put down his beer and rubbed his face as you looked at him sadly, you knew that your and his daughter very meant to you even him. you took his hand and rubbed slowly, you drew his veins all along. he did not even took a glance at you.
"yeah yeah, i doubt that" silence filled the kitchen room and the other line. Jisung heard someone speaking to his daughter, but he did not hear what her friend said. as he replacing his glasses and wrinkling his nose.
"yeah, i will be right there" she said in French to her friend as he heard the door closed.
"dad, i am sorry that i should hang up the phone right now. my friend want me to accompany her to the covenience store."
"oh yeah that is alright, little bean" he said smiling but not fully, you knew that......
"okaii, ummm. dad?" her daughter said, making Jisung frowned
"yeah, little bean?" he asked, his fingers drew at the top of beer can, looking lost to it.
"tell mum i said hi... and love you," she said finally, making Jisung stopped drawing the beer can and stared at it. on the other side, you smiled looking at him, finally your daughter had a courage to tell him 'i love you' since 9 years ago. Jisung smiled as tears blurring his sights and sighed deeply.
"i love you more, little bean" Jisung smiled as one tear won to roll down on his cheek. he really wanted to hear that from his little bean, since she was 10, she never told him 'i love you' besides you.
"okay, i will hang up now. bye dad" she said, Jisung did not want to end the call as the girl ended up. he pulled down his phone from his ear, put his phone on the dining table and looked up at you. you smiled couragely to him as you took his hand to your hand and rubbed slowly. his other hand rubbed his old but still handsome face to silver black few white-ish straight hair. after your daughter left for college, you two just felt lonely, but gladly the perfomance team stayed at your place until now, sleeping at the living room. but, Jisung was very glad that he had you who still encourage about him and works. when his little bean was 4 years old, he always brought her and you to the backstage. and he always brought his little bean to Stays, they were very happy seeing him happy. even she was crying, seeing her father on the floor with medics swarmed him as you took her outside and ushed her lowly. he always alerted when something happened to both of his favourite girls. he even got jealous when she loved having time more with her weird uncle more than him. seeing her grew up made him sad but also happy. seeing his little bean accepted college and stood up at the airport, watching you and his little bean hugged, he had to let go of her and he will missed her as always.
"do not call me if i am not calling you first"
since his little bean went to college, he always checked his phone if he should call her or not everyday. missing his little bean voice.
until today, he received her calls made his heart fluttered and quickly punched the green one. his sad face was long vanished... and you were very relieved to see your old husband.
he smiled at you as he stood up and kissed your temple slowly
"okay, let's eat" Jisung said sat down again, you pulled your hand from his' as he started putting your favourite meal at your plate and fed you more than himself.
you called his name, he looked up at you confused, mouth were being filled by his foods, his looked just like squirrels...
➸ request; okay, so this thought hit me when i saw dreaming-- but jisung attempting at calming down a colicky chunae or bada? or maybe something that makes him realize something like “i’m a dad now. I’M A DAD NOW’
➸ note; thank u for requesting! i’m sorry if this is bad,,
➸ word count; 985 words
➸ chunae; newborn
nct masterlist
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
‘Sungie, it’s your turn,’ you mumble sleepily, shaking his shoulder gently.
‘Ok,’ Jisung murmurs back, ‘I’m going.’
You and Jisung had just had your first child together, a daughter named Chunae.
It was hard.
You found that you had fallen so much deeper in love with Jisung over the course of your pregnancy and the first few weeks of your little girls life. You would walk into the nursery and find Jisung asleep in the armchair with the baby on his chest, matching bottom lips sticking out. It filled your heart with so much love and pride at what you’d built with him, the happiness and home that you’d created together. For Jisung, he couldn’t believe he finally had a baby of his own. He’d seen so many of his members become fathers over the years, and had longed to become one himself for a long time. Now that he was one, it hadn’t fully sunk in yet, but he loved Chunae more than anything.
Despite this, Chunae was not an easy baby. For her first week of life, it was generally somewhat straightforward to calm down. It seemed to be one of four things; she was hungry, she needed changed, she wanted a cuddle or had a bad stomach.
These situations were fairly easy to resolve - you would breastfeed her or Jisung would give her a bottle, she would be changed, cuddled or given a stomach massage. Something Jisung loved was hearing her satisfied grunts, her little milk coma face was his favourite sight. But after a couple of weeks, the crying got worse.
Chunae would cry for hours on end, for seemingly. No reason at all. You would both desperately try to calm her, offering her bottles, giving her baths, changing the temperature in case she was too hot or cold, constant back rubs and pats, but nothing would change. She would just cry incessantly.
‘I think she might have colic,’ you sigh midway through one of these episodes.
Jisung only nods, cradling Chunae in his chest and stroking her back while she screams.
The two of you devised a sort of system that would happen when Chunae would cry. If you had not long fed her, Jisung would have to be the one to get up. He insisted on this, wanting you to rest.
‘Hi baby,’ Jisung stumbles into her nursery, rubbing his tired eyes, ‘come here.’
He leans over her crib and lifts her out gently, cradling her against his chest over the shoulder.
‘What’s the matter, hmm?’
Chunae just screams, and Jisung mentally begins preparing himself for the next couple of hours. He begins rocking Chunae in his arms, humming a random NCT Dream song quietly. He massages her back as slowly as he can, hoping to calm her, but to no avail.
‘Let’s just cuddle, okay?’ Jisung had read up a lot on colic, and how to help Chunae. The biggest tip generally was to just give cuddles, so that was what the both of you did with her most nights. Jisung sinks down into the armchair, settling Chunae so that she’s laying in his arms.
‘Don’t cry baby,’ he mumbles, ‘you’re okay. There’s no need to cry, everything’s okay.’
She quietens down a bit, but still strangled cries escape from her lips.
Being sat down with his baby daughter, it suddenly hits Jisung just how tired he is. He’s running on next to no sleep, big thick black bags under his eyes as evidence. He smells a little too, both from the lack of a regular shower and the baby powder and milk.
‘You take the life out of me,’ Jisung sighs, ‘what do I have to do to make you stop crying, huh?’
Chunae just keeps screaming.
So this was what being a father was like.
His hyungs had told him countless times that he would be awake all night with the baby, unable to stop them from crying endlessly, and just how constantly exhausted he would be. But he underestimated just how hard on him it would be. It was difficult to express sometimes. He knew you really have the brunt of it. You’re Chunae’s mother. You carried and gave birth to her, breastfeed her constantly throughout they day, and when you’re not doing that you’re pumping for bottles. Your body is tested every single day, hormones and emotions constantly running high. You’re upset and emotional, but still working so hard for your daughter. Jisung admired you so much. You were the most devoted and strong mother, and the things he had seen your body do were incredible, and it made him love you even more than he thought he could. He knew that his exhaustion wasn’t nearly as close to what you were likely feeling. Jisung tried so hard to help, taking over feeding and night time duties whenever he could to allow you to rest and take it easy. But he didn’t feel like it was fair to you to say he was tired. Despite that, this was when Jisung really felt like he had become a father. This baby in his arms was his, made from him and the person he loved most, his to take care of and attend to every need, to keep alive, to love and to mould into a happy and kind person.
Jisung sits with her for over an hour as her sobs gradually fade into weak murmurs.
‘Finally tired?’ Jisung whispers, ‘just close your eyes.’
Once Jisung is sure that she’s sound asleep, he gently lowers her into her crib, before tiptoeing out of the room.
He’s so relieved to climb back into your bed, even though his side is now cold to lie in.
‘Thank you,’ you mumble, half-asleep, ‘love you.’
Jisung kisses the side of your head and settles down into the mattress, falling asleep quickly. Until two hours later and she’s crying again.
nct dream react to you being insecure while pregnant
➸ note; i hope u amazing people like this <3 i tried very hard not to make this repetitive lol
➸ word count; 4306 words
➸ lucas; aged 1, noah, tengfei, moonbyeol, dalgun, chaeyeon, caihong & chunae; in the womb lol
nct masterlist
➸ warning(s): insecurity, body image
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
MARK LEE
‘Shit,’ you mutter, the sound of your disposable razor dropping in the water prompting you to sigh deeply.
This was supposed to be relaxing.
You’d had a searing headache all day, both from pregnancy hormones as well as chasing after your son Lucas.
When Mark finally came home from work he had ran you a hot bubble bath, complete with a few candles littered around the room.
To make yourself feel better, you decided to shave your legs, but every time you tried to lean over, your bump would prevent you from being able to reach. You were beyond frustrated at this point. You felt terrible, useless and dilapidated. You couldn’t do many simple tasks anymore, your large bump getting in the way.
The door opens, and Mark pokes his head around it.
The door opens, and Mark pokes his head around it.
The door opens, and Mark pokes his head around it.
‘You ok baby? I just put Lucas to bed, thought I’d come hang out with my beautiful babies.’
‘I’m fine,’ you try to mask your irritation, ‘we’re fine.’
‘Good,’ he murmurs, leaning down to kiss your forehead and place a hand on your bump, before walking backwards to sit on the toilet seat.
‘Have you been shaving?’ He gestures to the cherry blossom scented shaving foam on the rim of the bath.
‘Oh, yeah, I was trying but I, uh, dropped my razor.’
‘I’ll get it for you,’ Mark smiles, plunging his arm into the water and feeling around for the razor.
‘Here,’ he fishes it out the water, turning it around a few times to clear it of bubbles before handing it to you.
’Thank you.’
‘You’re welcome,’ he smiles fondly, running a hand through your dampened hair, matted with the slight sheen of sweat on your forehead from the hot water.
You notice the way he side eyes your propped up leg, expecting you to resume shaving.
So you try, sitting up and stretching your arm as far as it physically could go. But it wasn’t enough. You could barely reach past your knee.
‘Want some help?’ Mark innocently offers.
For a moment, you stare at him incredulously, before finally snapping and breaking into tears.
‘Woah, woah, what’s wrong?’
‘I can’t do anything anymore! I struggle so much to run after Lucas all day, and this bath was supposed to calm me down, but now I’m even more frustrated because I can’t even shave my fucking legs-’
‘Y/N, it’s okay-‘
‘It’s not,’ you cry, ‘I just feel so useless. I don’t want you to feel obligated to do everything for me. I’m not… I’m not a child.’
‘No I know, I know, and I don’t think of you like that at all. I just want you to feel comfortable. I know how tiring it is to chase after Lucas, and on top of that you’re carrying our second son. You are not useless at all, you’re growing a human. If I don’t do anything to help you through that, then I’ll feel like the useless one.’
You sniffle, ‘do you really think that?’
‘Of course I do. I love you and I’d do anything to help. Now, let me help you shave. And then I’ll give you a massage, and then we can do anything you want.’
‘Anything?’ You raise an eyebrow as he begins gently applying the shaving cream on your legs.
‘Don’t push it,’ Mark flicks water at you, before leaning over to kiss you.
HUANG RENJUN
Renjun is one of the sweetest people you’ve ever met. He can sometimes act like a brat just to get on your nerves, but really he’s an angel when it comes down to it.
When alone, Renjun would always shower you in his affection. He was a cuddler at heart, needing you as close to him as physically possible.
When you became pregnant with your son, his need to smother you with love just doubled. He held you a bit closer at night, would go for extra kisses, would bring home snacks that you wanted most days and overall, his love for you just dramatically increased.
You actually enjoyed it at first, since you were in the first trimester naturally you were extremely sick and hormonal a lot of the time, and Renjun’s affection was comforting.
As time went on, sickness faded away, and you were reduced to irritability and you had no idea where to direct your feelings. Additionally, you were feeling more like a liability, and felt very insecure about bothering anybody.
Sometimes you just didn’t want to be spoken to, you just needed to be alone for a while.
Today was one of those days, you had been somewhat struggling to sleep recently - half due to finding it difficult to find a sleeping position that worked as well as the baby moving around like mad.
Over breakfast, Renjun made you your favourite. You stumbled through the conversation, answering Renjun with short sentences.
‘Baby, are you alright?’ He asks later in the day. Of course he was concerned, you weren’t acting normal at all.
‘I’m fine,’ you promptly reply, not even turning your head to look at him.
‘You’re not. I don’t know what I can do to help but I’ll be in the bedroom if you want to talk.’
You immediately feel guilty. You know in your mind that he really just cares, he’s just concerned, but you just ruin everything.
Why should the man who cares about you most in the world have to deal with your mood swings?
You decide to give yourself a few minutes to try and regulate your emotions and organise your thoughts before talking to Renjun. Your eyes are filled with hot tears that won’t spill, your throat all dry and hurting.
‘Jun?’ You call out as you enter your bedroom.
Renjun is sitting on your bed, his back to you while scrolling through his phone.
‘Hi,’ he whispers, turning around.
‘I’m really sorry,’ you bottom lip trembles, ‘you don’t deserve to be snapped at… and I don’t deserve you for dealing with me.’
‘I understand why you are feeling like this,’ Renjun reaches out and takes your hand, playing with your fingers and fiddling with your rings, ‘but I want you to feel like you can talk to me, and relax around me.’
‘I know I can talk to you,’ you cry, ‘it’s just I’m so sick of feeling like shit all of the time. I hate the way I look, and the way I feel, I just want them to come out.’
‘Oh Y/N,’ Renjun takes you into his arms, rocking you side to side and running his fingers through your hair, ‘you need to talk to me when you’re feeling like that. I love you, you know that. I just want to help support you.’
‘I promise I will next time, I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?’
‘Let’s have a cuddle for now, okay? I love you.’
LEE JENO
Jeno is a God. As in an actual greek God, formed by Adonis himself.
Even before you became pregnant, you would struggle to understand how you possibly ended up with a man like him. Sometimes it felt like slow torture, the way he’d come home all sweaty from dancing or working out, stripping in your bedroom and coming back in all wet from the shower.
No wonder you were now in the late stages of pregnancy, your long awaited baby girl making her appearance very shortly.
‘You joining me in the shower?’ He asks you, cheeky grin spreading across his face.
’No, I’m fine. I showered earlier,’ you lie.
‘If you’re sure,’ Jeno smiles, pressing a long and sweet kiss to your lips, ‘I love you.’
‘Mhm, love you too,’ you hum, chest heavy as he leaves for your ensuite.
You sigh, alleviating the weight on your chest. What you did in your past life to deserve him, you had no idea.
He could have any woman, no, anyone he wanted, yet he was here with you.
Looking down at your body, you felt the shame and embarrassment burning through your veins. You’ll have so much excess skin once you give birth. Your stretch marks will never go away, no matter how much bio oil you put on. Who knows how long it will be until you fit into your dresses that Jeno loves so much?
You’re lost in your thoughts until the sound of the bathroom door being opened snaps you out of it.
‘Hey gorgeous,’ He grins, hair droplets dripping from his hair dangling over his forehead.
Jeno loves to cuddle. Always has.
‘God, I’ve been looking forward to this all day,’ he collapses next to you, inching towards you and throwing an arm around you, ‘a cuddle with both of my beautiful girls.’
You don’t say anything, trying to ignore his flexing arm muscles against your stomach.
‘How have you two been?’
‘We’re fine. She’s been moving around a lot, so…’
‘Great, hopefully not giving mama too much grief,’ he gently places a kiss on your bump, over your clothes.
‘You want me to go get her a story? You know I love reading to her,’ Jeno offers, referring to all of the baby books you have stocked up in her nursery.
‘No, we’re uh, not feeling it today,’ you pull on your duvet cover, dragging it up to your shoulders to cover your bump.
‘Oh. I was hoping I could talk to her,’ he sounds genuinely sad, missing out on the routine he goes through every night.
You hope he doesn’t notice the fresh wave of tears that form in your eyes.
‘I’m just tired.’
Jeno considers whether or not to push further for a few seconds.
‘Is everything okay? Bad day?’
‘You know I’ll never look like I used to again, right?’ You respond flatly.
Jeno sits up slightly, eyebrows tightly knitted together.
‘What do you mean?’
‘When I have her,’ you turn onto your back, ‘I’ll still have these red stretch marks. And the weight, I won’t lose it for a while-‘
‘Let me just stop you right there,’ Jeno interrupts, ‘there is not one person I would rather spend the rest of my life with than you. I hope you know just how much you complete me, and how much I love you. I don’t care if you have stretch marks, it’s proof that you carried our baby. I don’t care if you have some extra weight- I can’t lie I love your new curves. Anyway, my point is, no other woman will ever come close to you. You’re the woman I married, the woman who’s carrying my first child.’
‘I’m sorry for being so self conscious,’ you apologise, finally realising how silly your thoughts were.
‘Please don’t think anything like that again,’ Jeno gently hovers over you, being mindful of your bump, ‘I love you so much.’
He kisses you, your discomfort melting away.
LEE HAECHAN
‘I love this show,’ you grin, settling between Donghyuck’s legs on the sofa.
‘I know you do,’ Donghyuck chuckles, his water nearly spilling out of the glass as he places a kiss on your cheek, ‘hence why we are rewatching it. Again.’
‘I’m telling you, Breaking Bad is the greatest show of all time!’ You cry, carrying out the extremely tedious task of punching in the show’s title with the remote.
‘I agree!’ he appeases you, ‘now lets watch before the pizzas go cold.’
Your son kicks throughout the episode, squirming whenever you laugh, and kicking through the tense moments.
‘Really, I’m serious Skyler,’ Marie on the television remarks to a pregnant Skyler White, ‘you’re as flat as a washboard. She’s not showing at all is she?’
You know it’s not real. It’s supposed to seem unrealistic, as if she’s some form of unattainable perfection. But you still look down at your bump and feel sick.
You don’t feel like you look great at all. You feel huge, like you’ve gained so much weight. You’ve got about three months to go, so you’re not fully as big as you’ll get, and you’re so incredibly aware of it.
‘You know,’ Donghyuck murmurs, ‘I find you so fucking gorgeous like this.’
‘Like what?’ You ask, oblivious.
‘Pregnant,’ he states like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, ‘I can’t believe I put that in you.’
You snort at his crudeness, ‘you’re so-‘
‘Sexy? Attractive? Gorgeous?’
‘No, I was going to say you’re so full of yourself. Now you’ve been upgraded, you’re such a dickhead,’ you giggle, weight still heavy on your chest.
‘Yeah, whatever,’ Donghyuck grins wickedly, ‘but seriously. I’m in awe of you. You’re amazing.’
‘I’m so big now,’ you sigh deeply, ‘and I’ve still got three more months. I mean- how big is he? And then I’ll just have all that extra baby weight.’
Donghyuck takes a long look at you, eyes sunken as if he was disappointed.
‘Y/N…’ his voice is also filled with dismay, you imagine the way he would scold your unborn son is exactly the same.
‘I’m sorry,’ you shake your head, ‘It’s just difficult to come to terms with how different I look.’
‘You look beautiful. You’re glowing. I mean, we’re so lucky that we have a healthy baby on the way.’
‘You may think that now while I’m pregnant, but once he’s out I’m just going to be a bundle of extra skin and stretch marks.’
‘Even if you are, you’ll always be the most gorgeous woman in the world to me. No matter what. Because I love you. How can I not love and worship the ground you walk on when you’ve grown and given me the greatest gift ever?’
‘You’re right, I’m sorry for being so stupid.’
‘Exactly, you are being stupid,’ he smirks, prompting you to swat your hands at his face.
‘Dickwad.’
‘You love me.’
‘I do love you Donghyuck.’
‘It’s like I always say, you’re my perfect girl,’ he kisses the top of your head repeatedly, ‘I love you more than anything.’
NA JAEMIN
‘I love you so much like this,’ Jaemin hums one night, as you’re laying on the couch together, watching a movie.
‘Hmm?’ You respond in confusion, the chilled atmosphere of the situation having tired you out.
‘Your bump is so cute,’ Jaemin giggles into your ear, ‘and you’re glowing. So beautiful.’
‘Cute until you see all those red marks,’ you murmur, ‘and the amount of pee that comes out of me daily.’
‘Your stretch marks are beautiful,’ Jaemin presses kisses behind your ear, ‘I love the clear ones. It’s just proof that your body is making enough room for our girl.’
‘I just hate the way they look,’ you whisper, still nodding off.
‘It breaks my heart hearing you say that..
‘I know you haven’t been feeling great recently. I hope you like your little surprise…’
The next day, you wake up suddenly in your bed. You imagine Jaemin must have carried you up after you fell asleep in the living room.
His arms are wrapped around you, breath fanning your neck. Sometimes when you wake up, you completely forget you’re pregnant, and then your daughter turns in your stomach.
‘Ow,’ you whisper, her foot prodding your bladder.
It feels like some sort of sick joke, reminding you of last nights conversation. You try your best to shuffle out of Jaemin’s arms without waking him up, before waddling into the bathroom.
You gaze at your reflection. You’re wearing Jaemin’s biggest shirt, but there’s still a sliver of the bottom of your belly showing. It’s littered with red and purple stripes.
You do your business, quietly leaving the bathroom.
‘Gorgeous?’ You hear Jaemin call out, groggy.
‘Oh, hi,’ you tug down your shirt, ‘good morning.’
‘Morning,’ he rasps, holding his arms out, ‘come here.’
You return to his arms, tensing as he lifts up your shirt.
‘Good morning to my baby,’ he kisses your belly button, massaging the sides of your bump.
‘Like I said last night, I love your bump so much…’ he just looks for a few moments, ‘beautiful. Anyway, I hope you’re excited for your surprise.’
‘You really have a surprise?’ You ask, thinking that maybe you’d imagined his words last night.
‘I do,’ he grins cheekily, ‘now. I’ll make you breakfast, and you go put on your pretty dress, pretty girl.’
A soft kiss to your lips and he’s gone, off to the kitchen.
You quickly get ready, putting on your maternity dress and a small amount of makeup. Breakfast is eaten and digested, then Jaemin is driving, into a fairly vegetated area. There’s nobody really around, the number of cars thinning as he turns down a dirt road.
‘Are you taking me into the middle of nowhere to kill me?’ You quip, prompting him to laugh.
’Nope. You’ll see when we get there..’
He parks the car on the roadside, next to a thicket of trees framing another path.
‘I’m officially a bit freaked out,’ you say, utterly confused.
‘Just keep going and you’ll see!’
Jaemin leads you through the trees into a large clearing. It’s filled with long grass and purple flowers, probably lavender or perennial flowers.
‘At least you’re going to murder me in a nice place,’ you laugh, ‘although red and purple aren’t a nice mix in my opinion.’
‘We’re not here for any of that,’ he wraps his arms around you from behind, kissing the back of your neck and leaving his lips there, ‘we’re here to take photos.’
‘What?’ Your eyes widen, and you turn in his arms so that you’re facing him.
‘You know I got that new camera, the one my mum/mom got me so we could take photos of the baby?’
You know exactly the one, ‘I wanted to take some photos of you. So you can see yourself how I see you. How beautiful you are.’
Your chest feels like it’s going to explode, completely overwhelmed by Jaemin’s gesture.
‘Y/N, I love you so much,’ he traces circles on your lower back, ‘and our daughter.’
‘I love you too,’ you tear up, and Jaemin quickly brings up his thumbs up to your eyes.
‘Don’t cry, beautiful. We have photos to take!’
ZHONG CHENLE
‘Hey pretty girl, are you still wanting to go for lunch?’ Chenle questions as you enter your bedroom.
He giggles manically when you perk up, eyebrows shooting up and eyes widened.
You’d been mentioning for a few days that you had been craving food from your local restaurant. Chenle has been working all week, and this was the first day in a while that he was able to go out. He hated not being able to be with you all day everyday, considering you were pregnant with your first child, a girl. You were both so excited, albeit terrified for her to finally arrive.
The two of you separately get dressed. You’re still in your pyjamas while you brush your teeth, Chenle hovering behind you and kissing your shoulder every so often.
‘Go away,’ you laugh at the tickly feeling, gently shoving him away, ‘go put your jeans on.’
‘Whatever,’ he chuckles, kissing your cheek before disappearing into your bedroom.
He’s practically fully dressed by the time you come in from the bathroom.
Your clothes are already laid out on the back of the chair, a pair of jeans and one of Chenle’s T-shirts that doubled as an oversized shirt on you.
You hadn’t needed to upgrade to maternity jeans just yet, but you weren’t looking forward to the day you couldn’t fit in your favourite pair of Levis.
You starting getting dressed yourself, pulling on Chenle’s shirt. Naturally, you move onto your jeans. You easily plunge your legs into the leg holes, pulling up the jeans that slide up your hips and rest at your waist.
Thank fuck. Now the button.
You manage to pull both sides of the jeans together so that the button and the hole line up. But when you try to slide the button through, it pops straight back out. You try again, but with no luck. The button just refuses to go through, which is the moment you realise. You’re too big for your jeans.
You sigh deeply in frustration, catching Chenle’s attention.
‘What’s the matter?’ He asks, ‘is she kicking too hard?’
‘They don’t fit,’ you grumble, ‘my button. It won’t close.’
‘Oh no,’ Chenle pouts, quite cutely you think, but you’re too busy being upset to swoon over him, ‘baby Zhong is getting quite big huh? Do you have any others that you think might fit?’
‘No. These are my big comfy jeans,’ your voice begins to strain as you start to cry in pure frustration.
‘Oh, no, don’t cry, it’s okay,’ Chenle takes you into his arms, gently tugging down your jeans so there’s less tightness around your stomach.
‘I’m getting so big,’ you cry, ‘I can’t fit into my jeans.’
‘It’s okay, Y/N, it’s just proof that she’s growing healthily and that your body is making enough room for her to keep going. How about you wear your sweatpants? They’re oversized and comfortable, and we can go buy some proper maternity jeans together.’
‘It’s going to be so long until I can wear any of my normal clothes again,’ you sob, falling against Chenle’s chest.
‘It’s ok, we’ll go out before lunch and buy you some beautiful maternity clothes, and you know you’re welcome to take whatever you want from my clothes.’
‘I’m sorry I’m throwing such a fit,’ you begin take deep breaths while Chenle wipes your tears with his sleeve, ‘I’m just so hormonal and it’s so jarring to see myself change like this.’
‘I understand,’ he kisses the side of your head, ‘but I’ll be here to help you with everything, ok? I love you.’
‘I love you too Chenle,’ you look up to kiss the bottom of his jaw, ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t apologise. Let’s go shopping now, ok? I’ll treat you.’
PARK JISUNG
Jisung had no idea how to deal with you. This was brand new territory for him, having no sister to compare this to.
You were pregnant with your first child and about halfway through. At first, it was kind of like taking care of you as if you were sick, holding your hair back and giving you plenty of cuddles and reassurance.
Now you were a lot harder to predict, often crying or becoming aggravated at unexpected moments.
Like once when you were stirring your tea, you accidentally dropped your spoon, which prompted you to go off in a huff into your bedroom and cry in frustration for about ten minutes before acting as if none of it had transpired at all.
‘I’m just going out for a drink with the guys,’ Jisung announces as he picks up his corduroy denim jacket.
‘Oh,’ you try to hide your disappointment despite the fact he had told you this in the morning. You don’t really want him to go, since you feel very much like crap, but you decide not to protest.
He leaves a long kiss on your lips, and a lingering touch on your bump, ‘goodbye my loves. I love you.’
‘Love you too, Ji,’ you mumble, and he leaves.
You feel so self conscious when you’re alone. You’re in Jisung’s T-Shirt and sweatpants, just staring intently at yourself in the mirror. You rub in your moisturiser on your angry stretch marks, nausea swimming around in your stomach.
Why you?
Jisung is the absolute sweetest, so caring and doting even when you’re not so nice to be around. He’s cute, charming and physically very fit, the absolute opposite of you right now.
There are plenty of girls, not bloated, not hormonal, who would jump at the chance to be with him.
Your eyes and body feel so heavy, and you decide to rest your eyes for a few seconds.
‘Y/N, baby, get up,’ you wake up to Jisung gently shaking your shoulder.
‘Why are you on the floor?’ He asks you, holding the small of your back while you sit up.
‘I don’t know,’ your throat is dry and scratchy from sleep, ‘I was just looking at bump and I wasn’t feeling well.’
‘You should go get into bed when you feel tired, silly,’ Jisung giggles, ‘come on, let’s get you into bed.’
Jisung guides you across the room, holding your hand while you climb into bed. Straight away you settle into the pillows, dragging the covers all the way up to your chin to shield your body.
Jisung gets changed quickly before getting in beside you, slinging an arm around you over your bump.
‘Goodnight love,’ Jisung kisses your shoulder.
‘I’m sorry,’ you can’t stop yourself from uttering the words.
‘What?’ Jisung props himself up on his elbow, trying to get a view of your face.
‘I don’t know, I just, don’t want to be a nuisance. And I just… am not the biggest fan of myself right now, and I’m sorry if I take any of my feelings out on you.’
’That… makes a lot of sense,’ he mumbles.
‘Huh?’
‘I’ve just been worried about you, I just want you to be comfortable and happy and not have to worry about anything.’
‘It’s just all these stretch marks and hormones and changes... I just worry that you won’t find me so attractive after all this.’
Jisung’s eyes widen, ‘are you serious? I am so in awe of you for this. I practically worship the ground you walk on. I really should really start telling you that more… I love you so much, okay? Nothing you could ever do could change that.’
‘I’m sorry for being so miserable,’ you murmur, ‘I love you so much too.’
‘Don’t ever be sorry. Come on, let’s go to sleep.’
