#dambin

[ifanyoneasksyoudontknowme]

*Batman at the Batcomputer in a live meeting with the JL (it's been quiet a while)*

*Damian, walks into frame holding something*

Bruce: "I was thinking with the- Robin what is that?"

Damian, holds it out: "Puppy."

Bruce: "Damian... That's not a puppy?"

Damian: "What? Father what are you talking about?"

Bruce: "Does that look anything like Titus??"

Damian: "I figured it was one of those smaller breeds of dog... chimichanga?"

Bruce:

Bruce: "Chihuahua???"

Damian: "Yeah that."

Bruce: "That's not a chihuahua! That's a raccoon!??"

Damian: "What is a 'raccoon'.

Bruce: "You don't know what a raccoon is?"

Damian: "You forget I was raised in a desert."

Bruce, sighs: "You're gonna get rabies again. Put. It. outside."

Damian: "But I wanted to keep it..."

Bruce: "WE'RE NOT KEEPING A RACCON"

Damian: "You keep bat's, they are one of the largest species worldwide to carry rabies."

Bruce:

Bruce, sighs: "Just put it outside.

[h34dinthecl0uds]

Duke: if you fell 3000 ft… would it, like, actually hurt?

Jason: …

Jason: you’re not that smart considering you’re a fuckin lightbulb.

Duke: rude.

————————

Condensed version of this.

[laced-in-ruin]

Oh Damian wayne :(

[ifanyoneasksyoudontknowme]

I don't know why more people aren't aware of the basic necessities Damian didn't get from being born in the league, like it has been said he never got the flu shot. But along with that, he never got the tetanus shot, or the shot for Hepatitis A, Hepatitis B, Polio, etc. I could go on and on, and these are all shots that babies are required to get before they're 3.

So I can just see Gotham criminals being afraid of this 10 year kid flipping in and busting their drug rings, knocking out and arresting their thugs, single handedly taking out villains with a katana, all in one afternoon.

But the next day he's in the ER cause he stepped on a rusty nail while fighting Penguin.