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Desparate and searching, you push me away
https://archiveofourown.org/works/64681438
What if the Doctor wasn't the timeless child, but she could be? All it takes is a little insanity... Until Yaz finds her and steps in.
Wrote on impulse; please heed the warnings. Dark!13 Thasmin thingy.
Dark!13 in RotD
Now that we’ve all had a couple of days to process, can we talk about how dark the Doctor′s solution to her Dalek problem really was? Hear me out:
1: The "I'm the Doctor" speech. The realisation that being the Doctor means defeating Daleks. Yes, yes that’s what the Doctor does but it’s not the only thing. After having had all that time struggling with her identity, trying to figure out what she is, that’s a really unsettling realisation to come to. After regeneration, she didn’t know who she was either. And back then, she said the one thing she was sure of is that when people need help, she’d never refuse. Whatever happened to “I’m just a traveller.“?
She is defining herself through being the main predator of the most deadly creature in the universe. And there is no doubt in her expression, just silent icy fury.
2: She is toying with and taunting the Daleks. Yes, it is to lure them into a trap but she’s having too much fun. Look at her baring her teeth at them like a predator. She already knows she’s won and she’s enjoying the kill.
3: What she actually does to the Daleks... she doesn’t just trick them or gets rid of them, no she wipes them out without second thoughts. No remorse. Yes, it’s what the Doctor does, they have killed so many Daleks. But remember when the Doctor didn’t kill Davros? When they had the chance to never have the Daleks happen at all if he refused to save their creator? And yet they did because that's what the Doctor does. Helping people in need, even when they grow up to become their enemies. The 12th Doctor had come such a long way.
4: The way she killed the Daleks: By destroying a TARDIS. This is the worst thing of all, the disregard for the TARDIS. Think of the close relationship she has with her TARDIS, the ways in which it is sentient and they are companions to each other. Look at these lines from "Twelve Angels Weeping". The spare TARDIS is sentient too and the Doctor has no second thoughts about that. Just wipes it out of existence.
So Doctor, who are you?
“The name I chose is “The Doctor“. The name you chose is like a promise you make.“
“Basic stuff first: Never be cruel, never be cowardly. (...) Remember, hate is always foolish, and love is always wise. Always try to be nice but never fail to be kind.“
“Doctor. The word for healer and wise man across the universe. We get that word from you, you know. But if you carry on the way you are, what might that word come to mean? To the people of the Gamma Forests, the word “doctor” means “mighty warrior.“
Where do we go from here? What will “Doctor” come to mean?
someone commissioned me to draw a brunette!13 with black clothes and a turtleneck and I could not be more thankful.
👀
The Valeyard and the Lumiat
(Valeyard!13 design inspired by @bizarrekairaart and @art-pluto)
(Lumiat design by @aprilmaclean)
I love how 13's mood has improved and then the Skithra Queen is like "lmao, ever looked at a dead planet?" and then 13's like "so, I'm just gonna fucking kill you now, thanks for that"
The Day The World Went Away
13th Doctor X Reader
Summary: You're dead. The Doctor visits your grave and tries to have a conversation.
Warnings: Major character death/Person Of Interest Spoilers/ANGST
A/N: Another fic based off of a scene from person of interest! I'm really enjoying doing these, and this one's based off of when Shaw visits Roots grave. As per usual, I've tweaked the storyline and scene quite a bit so it fits better.
Gif: @samosevie
A figure stands alone in the graveyard.
It's a still day. Grey clouds in the sky cast a dark shadow over the landscape, but there's not a chill in the air. It's silent apart from the birds in the trees, and the grass is still wet from the rain the night before, raindrops still lying on the gravestone. The Doctor counts them. She's trying not to think too hard about the person lying 6 feet below her.
They didn't even bury you under your own name.
Instead there's just a date. 14/03/13, engraved onto the tiny headstone and painted black. The day you supposedly died.
"I figured I should say goodbye," The Doctor says quietly as she stares at the 6 figures. "Just in case this cyberman armageddon turns out to be a full blown cyberman armageddon."
She feels awkward. Strange. She doesn't like goodbyes. She doesn't like it when you're there but you can't answer back.
She remembers the afternoon you died so, so clearly. Remembers how the cyberman's bullet hit you in the side, the gasp escaping your mouth the only evidence that anything was wrong. You'd managed to drive the car two more blocks before the police had caught up with you and the Doctor had told you to stop. You needed help, your face was paleing and you were bleeding onto the white leather of your seat. She had been hopeful at first, but as she was pulled from the car, she couldn't help the sinking feeling in her stomach.
There were officers tending to you, trying to keep you talking and awake. She wanted to be by your side, but she was being taken away by idiot humans who didn't have a clue about the impending cyber invasion.
As she sat in the back of the police car, the Doctor had strained her neck, trying to keep her eyes on you as she was driven away.
It was the last time she'd seen you alive.
Tears spring in her eyes and she blinks them away furiously. Fuck. She hated this.
"Sorry Y/N," She mumbles, turning to go. "This just isn't my thing."
She had always thought that the (inevitable) day you died would have been explosive. Meaningful. She thought you would go out in a blaze of fire and glory, the way everyone else had. Instead, you were assinated by a single cyberman, and had died in the drivers seat of a stolen car.
And here she was. Alone, at your graveside. Rain begins to fall, mixing with the tears on her cheeks and she wipes at them furiously.
"Sorry to interrupt, but you need to get going."
The Doctor jumps at the voice. It's yours, and her hearts leap in hope.
She whips around, expecting to find you standing there in your leather jacket, a smug look on your face like always.
But you're not. And she's still alone.
She looks around friantically trying to find where your voice had come from. Had she imagined it?
Then it dawns on her. She pulls out her sonic screwdriver and presses the button. Hope twists in stomach again.
"Y/N?" She asks into it.
"No, darling."
It's still your voice. But it doesn't make sense - you're dead, buried beneath where she stands now. Her brain is scrambling to keep up.
"Who is this?"
"It's me, sexy." There was a hint of humour in your voice, and then it hits her.
"You took her voice." She breathes in realization. It's the TARDIS interface.
"You'd always wanted me to have a voice. I finally chose one."
"Why hers?" The Doctor demands. Was the TARDIS trying to hurt her?
"I loved Y/N, just as much as you did. It seemed fitting. I miss her."
The Doctor's lip wobbles again as she stares down at the grave. The tiny burst of hope she had just felt now weighed like a stone in her hearts.
"Doc, you need to get going," You - no, the TARDIS - says. "I've materialised outside the church. There are cybermen on their way."
"But they'll take Y/N's body." The Doctor argues desperately.
"I know," The TARDIS says.
"I can't lose her twice - I cant," The Doctor chokes out, the hand holding her screwdriver shaking. "Please just let me have what's left of her, I can't lose all of her. Don't let the cybermen take more of her than they already have."
"Run, Doctor. Y/N always said it was the only thing you're good at."
Bile rises in the Doctor's throat, and she can hear the clanking of cybermen in the distance. She shoves the sonic back in her pocket, before taking one last look at your final resting place.
"I love you." She breathes shakily. She'd always worried that if she ever said those three words to you aloud, the universe would immediately rip you away from her. It didn't matter now - you'd already been taken, and now what's left of you was going to be taken as well. Your fate was already sealed, your dead body would be a cyberman by dawn.
The clanking is only getting louder and she turns away. Her hand covers her mouth, stiffling a pained sob, tears streaming over her fingers. She squeezes her eyes shut and does what she's best at.
She runs.
Taglist: @queerconfusionthings @truthbehindthemysteries
all this death, has it finally made you happy?
Before you think, what the what is this? I need to give @elsaistherelifeonmars all the credit for this wonky idea of a video.
she said (to which i wholeheartedly agree) that Thirteen meeting their mirror version who is drenched in blood would be the best thing ever (again, I agree). Go read the fic she’s writing cause HOLY SHIZZLE ON A STICK ITS AMAZING.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/28340223/chapters/69434367#workskin
Anyhow, I could tell tons of stories about how that tickled MY brain for an AU version video type of thingy of which this is the result, now mind you I have never edited AU before and I found that editing dialogue out of existing dialogue is TRICKY but I am quite chuffed at the end result here.
this for real will be the last edit of 2020 lol, except for a video on my personal channel, if I forget to post anything before 2021 lemme just say, have a good one and see you on the flippidy side
ps... the coming soon isn’t a joke, when I’ve finished my doctor who rewatch I’m dedicated to do a full on version of this when the dialogue is a bit more fresh in my chaotic brain.
