#demi-aro

[cowboylikeghost]

Don't get me wrong i'm so happy Heartstopper is getting it owns show but i'm so scared of allosexual cishet entering the fandom 😟

[avenpt]

It's been almost 3 years since I put two and two together and realized I was ace/demi-aro (pretty sure a lot of us made new discoveries during quarantine lol). It didn't feel cathartic, but it did make me think "yeah...that makes more sense". I'm not comfortable telling anyone (aside from any potential future partner) that I'm ace, much less demi-aro as I'm not used to having to explain to family or friends what those terms mean. Not to mention the fact that, growing up in an immigrant family with a culture that heavily reinforces patriarchal/heteronormative ideas, I don't think I can handle the high chance of being treated and seen as an "alien" from people I care for. Sure they won't be extremely acephobic, but they'll likely still believe that "it's a phase". Just like how my parents think me wanting to remain childfree is "just a phase". They think that I'm simply afraid of pregnancy and will eventually "overcome" it. Like, no. I don't like even the idea of being pregnant and having children. I'll be the cool aunt though.

Some friends have shown themselves to be LGBTQ+ allies and others are in the community themselves (e.g. bisexual, gay). Yet it has recently felt especially lonely being the only ace I know. My friends don't really talk about queer topics, so I tend to follow queer/other aces accounts to fill that gap. Being a college student, this makes it difficult to make friends when it seems everyone is in their own friend groups. Having general anxiety and social anxiety only further socially alienates me from others...so yeah. I've recently started desiring a queer platonic relationship, but I know it's the idea that I like right now and not the actual relationship. Though it feels like I'm simply ranting, I think I'm trying to look for ways to really get out there and make some ace/queer friends, which I know can be difficult when I'm not open about being ace. I would like to work on that as well, so that those close to me can know. Preferably in-person since I already spend a considerable amount of time online due to fandoms. Thanks for reading!

Thank you for sharing with us, anon! You are not alone. Many of us can relate to you. Sending you lots of support!!

[disasterdemi]

My two moods 🙃

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[Image Description: The metronome meme. At the top is an image of a semi-circular dial with a needle in the middle. The left end is labelled, “I am all I need. F*ck amatonormativity.” And the right end is labelled, “When is it my turn to fall in love 😭”. Below is an image of a metronome overlaid with a demiromantic flag. The metronome is ticking back and forth so quickly that the needle is blurred. End ID.]

[ecoqueer]

[ID: 12 shades of green arranged in a 2 x 6 grid. The row on the left is labeled, top to bottom: “6-Stripe Pride: #008018,” “Aromantic: #3AA63F,” “Aromantic: #A8D47A,” “Gray-Aromantic: #087C14,” “Demiromantic: #329932,” and “Genderqueer: #48821E” and the row on the right is labeled, top to bottom: “Gay Man: #078D70,” “Gay Man: #99E8C2,” “Poly-: #01D66A,” “Diamoric: #98F494,” “Neutrois: #1DB84E,” and “Agender: #BAF584″.]

Comparison of the greens of different pride flags! Here are the purple, orange, and pink versions. Let me know if you’d like a flag added and there will be an update later.

[queerplatonicpositivity]

Demi-aro/greyro struggles

I saw one of these for ace people by @jankyadd, and I liked it and wanted to riff off of it for demi-aro/greyro people.  I know I’ve seen posts like this for aro people, but I wanted to do one specifically for demi-aro/greyro people.

► Having a “type” but that type being someone you’re aesthetically attracted to or interested in being friends with, not someone you want to date.

► Not understanding why people obsess over celebrities, wanting to date them or marry them.

► Never understanding fuck, marry, kill. Especially other peoples choices in the game. (Or the Mash paper/pencil game, for the older generation.)

► Feeling pressured into dating someone and being romantic with them when you don’t even know them well enough yet, and you would’ve rather waited to get really close first and then decide if you want to date.

► Being told that doing the above (getting close to someone for a long time before dating) is “leading people on” and “wasting their time.”

► Not knowing what to do with the person you’re dating because you didn’t want to be dating them in the first place, but you felt pressured.

► Being completely oblivious to people you don’t know flirting with you and also not realizing when you might be coming off as flirty to strangers because you’re just a nice person.

► Forming a close, emotional bond with someone and choosing to be in a romantic relationship with them, but still having no idea if what you feel is really “romantic attraction.”

► Most romantic comedies and other romance movies don’t make any sense, because the people involved don’t really know each other.

► The idea of “love at first sight” seems completely incomprehensible.

► You tend to do “romantic” things for lots of different people in your life (like Valentine’s presents for friends, or remembering the favorite candy of someone you care about and getting it for them), but those things just feel like being thoughtful.

[angelixybts]

Asexuals & Aromantics

You are valid. If you only feel sexual / romantic feelings when emotionally close to someone but no other time. You are valid you are still ace / aro. You can be in a relationship and still be ace / aro. You can fall in love and still be ace / aro. You can want romance and love and NOT feel romantic attraction. You can be repulsed or not be repulsed. You are still valid. You can have a relationship without sexual attraction or s*x. You can have a relationship without romantic attraction or romance. Every relationship is valid. You are valid with and without a partner. You are valid if Hetero Aro and Hetero Ace. You are valid if Cis or Trans Ace / aro. If you are aro or ace in any way shape or form you ARE VALID Ace / Aro no matter what some gate keepers and aphobes alike say. YOU ARE VALID. YOU ARE LOVED. YOU ARE ACCEPTED. My page will be a safe space for all of you. Because I know how it feels to be invalidated as an asexual and gray aro. I love you all. Even if I haven’t mentioned you or explained your situation if you are anywhere on the ace / aro spectrum you are a valid ace / aro. No one has the right to take that away from you. If you one day no longer identify as ace or aro that is okay too. Life is about discovering ourselves and sexuality is a huge part of it just like morals and values are. Your experiences are valid, your choices are valid who you are is valid. So if you identify as something one day its okay if you don’t the next. Because life is about discovery and learning most importantly about ourselves. I know its hard to ignore the discrimination, hate and nasty words and harassment. But please know you DO belong. You ARE valid. You AREN’T broken. You are loved. You are important. You are precious. This world would not be the same without any of you. Any of us. If your family doesn’t accept you if your friends don’t. You still have the community you still have all of us. We’ll be your family we’ll be your friends. You can choose your friends and family. Family isn’t always by blood and no one says you have to stay with those who don’t love, appreciate and understand you. I do ask one thing. If you are not out of the closet yet. Don’t come out, not until you know its safe to. If your family or friends have any chance of abusing you... Wait until you are safe. It sucks, it feels like sh*t but your safety needs to be your first priority over all else.  And if you are in such a situation. Escape as soon as you are able to. Escape and free yourself and then..then come out and be who you are without fear without hatred without pain. Be yourself when its safe. Because you WILL find those who love and accept you no matter where in the spectrum you are. You will be loved. A song I recommend to you if you are struggling is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYoapICIfeE I myself and other friends have found it a great comfort. Please know you are not alone and you never will be. Just hold on until you can get out and are safe. Just please try to hold on until you find your true family and friends. Until you have a true home filled with love and acceptance. Theres nothing wrong with you. You’re valid. It’s going to be okay its going to hurt to wait and hide but its for survival. One day you will get out, one day you will be free. Hang in there. Hold on, breathe and focus on just getting through each day. Don’t focus on getting through the week, month or year or however long. Focus on the present focus on each day. You WILL get through this.

[cowboylikeghost]

I want a qpr :(

[starbird-blog]

My demi-aro, ace selff

Anyone, a n y o n e - Trust me Leo, someday you’ll find some pretty girl and you’ll spend so much time together and be all lovey dovey and kiss and go on dates.

Me - Why would I kiss my cat like that?

Anyone - No, no, a human girl.  Ya know, your type.

Me - There’s types?

Anyone - yeah!  It’s~

Me - Oh, I want a black cat then with emerald eyes and take her trick or treating with me, as my familiar.  

...

Anyone - don’t you want to have~

Me - TAKE THE HINT