#depressing tw

[teaboot]

I know that this isn't a productive line of thought, but do you ever feel like there's so many things "wrong" with you that it feels fake? Like… You catch yourself going, "Oh, my bad knee is acting up" or, "my hip hurts again", or, "I'm having another anxiety attack", or you catch yourself one more time saying, "I can't eat that" or "I can't do that" or "my leg doesn't work right", and it all just piles up, like… My brain doesn't work. I have triggers. My body hurts. There's parts of me that are always sore or don't move right and I don't know why. I'm always tired. I'm always nervous. And I catch myself wondering, is it just me? Or does everyone live with this? Am I really struggling for legitimate reasons, or am I just weaker, dumber, more sensitive, more fragile? Less determined? Less capable? Am I really doing the best I can, or am I just wading in self-absorbed defeatism? Am I respecting my own limitations, or just not trying hard enough? How many obstacles am I allowed to have? How slow am I allowed to progress?

[dying-weeds]

No matter how much I sleep I'm still tired

[faithbetryin]

“𝑀𝓊𝓇𝒹𝑜𝒸𝓀𝓈 𝓃𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇 𝓆𝓊𝒾𝓉.”

𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥 𝐯𝟒 #𝟏𝟎

[allaboutbethsblog]

is it just me, or is anyone like this. that doesn't like to go out and socialise?

Like I try and go out and meet friends, but at the same time, i don't want to. It's tiring. if I stay in, I get bored, and it feels lonely and depressing. so I go out to the park (when I have the energy to)

[a-mag-a-day]

Right, I made some time today to listen, because I have a bit of an interest in the live statements this time! I think this is the first time we've seen Jon actually tell a statement giver that he believes them, and what does he get in return but the equivalent of a dead body for his troubles.

Honestly, TMA is such a bleak series. You know how in much of popular horror there's at least a sense of hope? That if the protags struggle just a little bit harder there might be an escape or an end that isn't just death? More and more infrequently of course, but after having finished back in November the Dracula Daily emails, that particular series offered up an interesting contrast to TMA. At least in DD, there's a bittersweet ending where most of the cast makes it out alive and mostly human, and that as dire as things got for the main cast, there was always the sense that their opposition was surmountable. Even in Lovecraftian literature where the cosmos is filled with horror beyond our wildest comprehension, it seems like so long as you don't go looking for trouble there's a good chance you'll be just fine.

But in TMA, there's no hope. Just, none. Like in this episode you have a bit of what I think might be irony that the one person he's believed so far is the one person he's been unable to save thus far. He tries to be a better person and it's "repaid" by that person immediately being eaten by a sentient and malevolent door. He is interacting with and trusting Sasha more from S1, but in actuality "they" are not Sasha. The malevolent and sentient door tries to tell him this because it knows he won't understand it and it finds his confusion and terror delicious. Everywhere Jon turns, and the only direction seemingly available to him is down, further into the Fears because they desire his participation in their world and won't let him escape even if his tragic character flaw wasn't already curiosity.

I'll do you one better, everyone who says that in tma love won in the end, it didn't. It never stood a chance and that sucks

It hurts so much how all of it feels so real to life as well

[sadpudding]

Decidi terminar con mi vida pronto, no puedo mas vivir asi, no quiero ayuda tampoco, perdon a todos los que me quieren e intentaron ayudarme, y a aquellos que oculte lo que realmente me pasaba, pero no puedo hacerme mas la fuerte, ya no puedo, perdon...

[strawbie-chan]

♡ i'm such a Failure ! ♡

[zenniaphoenix]

Getting torn up about the fact that before cannon, Marinette didn’t have any friends. She’s known most of this class for years, but she was bullied so much that she wasn’t friends with any of them and all it took was someone helping her stand up for herself once, and standing up for them as class president to change that.

The fact that the person who helped her do that doesn’t believe in her, despite knowing she’s ladybug.

The fact that Lila threatened Marinette with exactly the sort of thing Marinette is probably most afraid of outside of the mask and all of the pressure it comes with. And she didn’t tell anyone because her friends have convinced her they wouldn’t believe her…