It had been a long time since the whole crew at the 118 had been out for post-shift drinks. Buck and Ravi usually went out for beers every couple of weeks, while everyone else usually had to rush home to their family obligations.
But tonight, they were all gathered around a sticky table, with a pitcher of margaritas split between them.
Baby Nash had finally taken to sleeping through the night. Mara was settled back into her bedroom at Hen and Karen's and was adjusting to being in a home with a loving family. Christopher had told Eddie he was old enough to stay home by himself for a couple of hours and that he was fully capable of using a phone to call if anything happened.
Buck leaned back in the booth and threw his arms around Eddie and Ravi.
"I just love you guys," He said, smaking a kiss on Ravi's head. "I really fucking do."
"We love you, too, Buck," Eddie said, disentangling himself before he could get the same treatment.
"God, it's been fucking ages since we did this, right? We need to celebrate. We need shots."
The chorus of "no, Buck," went ignored as Buck lifted himself to turn in the booth.
"Hey, we need five shots of- Sal! SAL, come over here! We need six shots of tequila, por favor!"
Eddie banged his head on the table. Ravi moaned and rubbed his eyes, long sufferingly. Hen and Chim only gave Buck fond looks across the table.
Sal DeLuca pulled a chair up to the table, sitting in it backward as the shots were delivered to the table. He looked around the group, somewhat apprehensive.
"Who let the puppy get this sloppy?" He asked, knocking his shot back and waving for another.
"You try getting between this idiot and tequila," Ravi muttered, rubbing his temples.
Another shot was set before Sal and Buck drummed his hands on the table. Begrudgingly, the rest of the group lifted their glasses and took them, grimacing as Buck whooped with glee.
"I think he needs to air out," Eddie said, wrapping an arm around Buck. Ravi stood at his other side, and Buck pulled him into a stumbling, one armed hug. Sal watched them go and shook his head.
"How's the captain's chair treating you, Han?" Sal asked as he dropped his discarded lime into his shot glass. Chimney shrugged.
"Oh, uh, it's not all it's cracked up to be," he said, twisting the glass in his fingers. Sal nodded.
"Ain't that the truth. Buckley said you have a new baby, too. I know that didn't make it any easier."
"No, but, uh, you know. Life... finds a way?"
Hen looked at him incredulously, and he shrugged helplessly. Sal laughed, then sighed, running a hand over his hair.
"Look, I know I was dick to you two," Sal said, looking at Hen and Chimney. "I dont have any fucking excuses and I'm not making any. I was a dick. Took nearly losing my job, a divorce, and my best friend punching the shit out of me for me to finally figure it out. I'm sorry for how I treated you both back then. You didnt deserve that."
Hen and Chimney looked at each other, then back at Sal.
"You've been good to Buck," Chimney said. "You were there for him when we weren't. I guess that makes you okay. In my book, anyway."
Hen still looked at Sal suspiciously. He held up his hands in surrender.
"I'm not asking to be invited to Christmas dinner. Hell, I didn't ask to be invited over here. The apology still stands. I'm man enough to say when I fuck up."
Hen nodded and took a sip of her beer.
"I heard you have two little girls at home," She finally said. Sal grinned and pulled out his phone.
"Violetta and Lenora," He said, pulling up pictures. "Terrors, they are."
"Not according to Buck," Chimney commented.
"Yeah, well Buckley's a fucking kid himself. Course they like him."
"That is the truth," Hen laughed, passing the phone back to Sal. "They're beautiful."
"Yeah," Sal agreed, smiling down at the phone before shoving it back in his coat.
They sat silently for a while, taking turns lifting the bottles in their hands, before Buck stumbled back to the table and slid in.
"Okay," He said, rubbing his hands together. "We ready for another round or what?"
"We talked about this, Buck," Eddie said, joining the table from the opposite side. Buck rolled his eyes.
"Eddie thinks I need an Uber," He told Sal, incredulously. "Can you believe it?"
"Surprisingly, yes," Sal said, tipping his beer towards him. "Close out, kid. Time to go home."
"You guys are so lame," Buck frowned before pushing himself up and heading to the bar. Sal finished his beer and set the bottle to the side.
"I'll drop him off at Tommy's. It's on my way home."
"You sure that's a good idea?" Eddie asked, looking over the booth at Buck, who was obviously buying one more drink as he closed out.
"Well, I don't think sending him home alone is a good idea," Sal said. "And I think Kinard knew what he was signing up for when he put that ring on his finger last week."
"I'm not sure Tommy has met tequila Buck," Hen said, raising an eyebrow.
"He has," Ravi assured. Multiple pairs of eyes locked on him, and he shrunk back into the booth. "Long story."
Buck came back to the table, his new drink half finished. Ravi moved over to make room for him, and Buck collapsed into the seat.
"This has been the best fucking night," He said, grinning. "I don't think it can get any better than this."
"Right," Sal said, putting his fists on the table and leaning closer to Buck. "So, here's the deal, kid. I'm going to say goodnight to my team, and then we're heading out. I know someone who's going to be very happy when I deliver you to his doorstep, safe and sound. You got it?"
Buck tilted his head and looked at him quizically for a moment, then nodded.
"Tommy," He grinned, bouncing a little in his seat. "Tommytommytommy."
"Yeah, yeah, Tommy," Sal rolled his eyes. He walked over to a group sitting in the corner, and they all raised their bottles to him in greeting. Buck turned to his friends.
"Sal's fucking cool," He murmured. Then his smile changed to something sly. "Did you guys know Bobby made Tommy fight a chicken?"
"Alright." Sal slapped the table. "Fun's over. C'mon, Legs, your lover boy's waiting."
Buck finished his remaining drinking in one swallow, saluted his friends, then threw his arm around Sal's shoulders as they left the bar.
Can't sleep, and this post from @v88sy inspired me.
So, I'm sitting here watching Brilliant Minds and there's this scene and now I really want Buck just showing up on Tommy's doorstep drunk as
****
Tommy had never been a deep sleeper, and his line of work made it even worse. He was more than used to the klaxon pulling him from sleep, signaling that they had a call. But that didn't prepare him for the pounding on his front door.
BOOM BOOM BOOM
Tommy looked at his phone. 12:46.
Silence. Then more pounding.
"Wake up Tommy, piece of—"
Tommy pulled open the door. "Hey Buck."
"Don't you 'hey Buck' me," came the angry response. " I'm not Buck to you. 'm Ev-n."
Oh. He was drunk.
"Okay, you're right. Hi Evan."
"You ruin-d it, T'mmy." Buck slurred, swaying slightly. "You blew us up and It's not fair."
"I'm so sorry, Evan."
"I went on some dates."
"Oh yeah?"
"Hated 'em."
"You did?"
"They all sucked," Buck mumbled.
Tommy raised his eyebrows.
"Not like that," Buck slurred, waving his hand dismissively. "They were stupid and boring."
"Really? All of them?"
"They weren't you."
"You don't want me, Evan," Tommy said quietly, his voice heavy with resignation.
"Why do you get to decide that?" Buck's voice rose with frustration. "I'm a grown man. Why do you get to tell me what I need and what I feel?"
"Evan, I'm not—" Tommy tried to interject.
"Why don't you want me?" Buck's voice cracked as he started to cry.
"Evan, that's not—" Tommy reached out instinctively but stopped himself.
"I went on a date tonight," Buck announced, his words still slurred but clearer now.
"I kinda figured," Tommy replied softly.
"He was handsome and charming." Tommy flinched at Buck's words. Buck's voice dropped to almost a whisper, "And it was awful. All I did was talk about you the whole time."
"Evan—" Tommy began gently, but Buck cut him off.
"He got frustrated. Said I was wasting his time," Buck's voice was hollow. He paused, swaying slightly. "And I was. There's no one after you, Tommy. So if you won't have me that's fine, but you're still my last. I'm giving up on love."
"You don't mean that," Tommy protested.
"Don't tell me what I mean," Buck's voice rose sharply before breaking into louder sobs. "I love you, and you ruined me for everyone else. You showed me what the world could be, and then you ripped it away." His next words came out in a rush, raw with emotion. "I am so mad at you, Tommy. But I still want you. I wanna be your boyfriend."
"You do?" Tommy's voice was barely above a whisper.
"Have you even been listening, dumbass? I'm yours. I will always be yours whether you want me or not."
"We need to talk," Tommy said carefully.
"Yeah, no shit," Buck retorted, but there was less bite to his words now.
"How about we get you inside and sober you up, and then we'll talk. Really talk."
"You mean it?" Buck asked, vulnerability creeping back into his voice.
"I do."
"Wait," Tommy reached out and wiped a stray tear off Buck's cheek. "You didn't drive here, did you?"
"Of course not. I'm clearly drunk off my ass."
"Fair enough."
"I walked. It was like 3 miles. Helped me get good and mad."
"You walked?" Tommy's voice rose with concern.
"I had to get to you and my fingers couldn't figure out how to order an Uber."
"Oh sweetheart," Tommy said softly.
"You called me sweetheart!" Buck's voice brightened despite his tears.
"Yeah, I guess I did."
"You loooove me," Buck sang out, swaying slightly.
"Evan, let's go inside," Tommy said, fighting back a smile.
"Whatever you say, boyfriend," Buck replied with drunk confidence.
Tommy shook his head fondly as he guided Buck inside. They were still broken, and it was going to take a lot of work to repair them, but Tommy knew now that they were both willing to fight for it.
"Hold me, please?" Buck’s all loose-limbed dead weight where he's leaning against Eddie in the back of the Uber.
“Not like I have much of a choice there, bud.” It comes off a little snarky and gets him an irritated grunt, but Buck doesn’t pull away.
“So tired,” Buck whines as if Eddie needs convincing. He absolutely doesn't. “So tired.”
Eddie shifts them enough that he can wrap an arm around Buck’s shoulders, pleased and tormented in equal measure by the content hum Buck lets out. If he wasn’t so scared of ruining their- not friendship because it’s way past that by now. He knows that, has for a while. Unfortunately, he’s not as confident as he wants to be that Buck knows it, too. He wishes he knew so they could put an end to this long-standing game of confession chicken they've been playing. The one where, just when it seems like they might be on the same page, something always seems to happen. A disaster, a loss, a kid who's not really a kid anymore running away. A boyfriend that doesn’t change a thing.
Regardless, if he wasn’t terrified to wreck one of the best things to ever happen to him, he could be honest now, pull Buck a little closer and tell him he’d never have to ask again for Eddie to hold him. If he wanted, Eddie would take him home and tuck him in every night for the rest of their lives.
“Eds?” Buck mumbles, slurred and sleepy.
“Yeah?”
“We- we had fun tonight, right?”
Eddie opens his mouth to respond, to say that of course he did, he always does when they’re together, but Buck continues talking before any of that can happen.
“You had a- a good time even when I left to dance for a little?”
He’s glad Buck can’t see the pained expression he makes. It had been easy to hide behind a bottle of beer at their hi top table while his best friend took some guy's hand and let himself be led to the middle of the floor. What’s worse is Eddie couldn't even stay upset. He was too busy watching Buck have the time of his life. Buck just looked so happy- and really isn't that what’s more important? The thing Eddie should be concerned about.
Buck begins mumbling again, too quiet and indiscernible to understand.
“Hmm?”
“Said,” Buck lifts his head enough to burrow into the side of Eddie's neck, “wanted to dance with you 'nstead.” He pokes at Eddie's shoulder for emphasis before slumping down again.
And what else can Eddie's traitorous heart do but skip in his chest? He wishes he could rip it out and hand it to the man who already has it in every other way. But he can't do that when he can't even tell Buck how fucking in love with him he is.
He could play along, pretend that Buck meant what he said. Or laugh it off as the shots making Buck a little too honest. He could also just fucking be truthful. It’s not as if Buck will remember tomorrow anyway, and he's pretty sure their driver already thinks they're together. Instead, he allows himself to nose into Buck’s curls that have become progressively more unruly as the night went on.
He indulges a little further, presses the barest hint of a kiss to the top of his head. And then he swallows it all back down again, opting to not say anything at all. He'll be brave another day, but not tonight. Not when Buck is too exhausted and drunk. Because Buck deserves to hear it for real the first time Eddie tells him.
Buck snuffles in a way Eddie is all too familiar with. A sign that he's going to have to haul Buck's ass out of the car when they pull up to Eddie's place.
"Hey," he gives Buck a little shake to keep him from nodding off completely. "Hang on, we're almost there."
a small thing I wrote. Where are they? Why are they in an Uber together? Who's to say- certainly not me. Let your imagination run wild 💕
Hello, I'm behind posting chapters over here but I've updated my fic again!! We're officially at the halfway point. (its completely written just posting as my irls beta it!)
You can read the first, second, and third, fourth, fifth chapter of my fic over on AO3 right here
CHAPTER SUMMARY
In this chapter, Buck visits Eddie's while drunk off his ass, post dinner with his parents. He has a lil flashback of his childhood...
Summary
The Buckley parents come to town, turning Buck's already shaky mental status from precarious to worse. Despite avoiding a dreaded dinner at all costs, Buck consents to join Maddie, Chimney, and his parents for dinner. Buck is super fine thanks for asking, he'll just bake about it. And think about kissing Eddie, obviously. Secrets are revealed, leaving the 118 reeling.
a lil snip
Buck wants to blame the urge to kiss Eddie on the significant amount of booze in his system. But if he thought booze was the only reason, he was lying to himself.
Kissing Eddie is an ever-present urge that's lived with him since the first day they’d met. From the very moment he’d spotted Eddie, shirtless and well-muscled, it had done something to his insides. Buck’s pretty sure that night his body chemistry was entirely rearranged. His attempts at flirting were bumbling and embarrassing. The 118 likened Buck to a dog pissing all over the fire station to mark his territory.
Buck was never quite sure after that day how to classify his friendship with Eddie. There were times it felt so much closer and more intimate than friendship, but although they bantered, Buck had never been sure it could be considered outright flirting. At least not reciprocal. Through the years, they’ve always had a tactile friendship, always bumping shoulders, pressing their legs together, and even occasionally sharing a bed.
He’s also mostly kept his crush under lock and key, outside of the one time Maddie very jokingly accused Buck of having a boy crush on Eddie. He’d almost blurted to her right there that it was more than a childish crush—so much more to him at least. Instead, he’s only confided in a single person at the 118.
Hen always humored him, never pushed him, and had gone all soft around the edges when he’d confessed his feelings to her. They’d spent one night at a gay bar after his confession, getting deliriously drunk and discussing all their gay escapades through the years.