Protector pt.21/23
Author: holographic-chogi
Pairing: fem!reader x skz
Warnings: Nothing that I can tell, but please let me know if I've missed anything.
A/N: hehe....hehehe so I'm back? Lol I wasn't kidding when I said I didn't plan on leaving this unfinished. It's been almost a year now, and I do apologize for the wait. To make up for it, I made this chapter pretty long, or longer than usual (almost 3k). The taglist I'm using is pretty old, so please let me know if anyone wants to be added or removed! As always, I appreciate everyone who's stuck with me this long, and any feedback (good or bad) is appreciated. (also, excuse the gif. I know it's not super serious but it was so fitting lmao)
Summary: a virus has wiped out most of humanity, and society has collapsed. People survive in groups where they live in constant fear and a struggle to survive. Women were the primary victim of the virus, leaving few behind. You are one of the few, kept in secret since the beginning. However, you’ve just been caught.
You laid back in exhaustion against the linoleum, a tired and confused smile on your face as you observed Hyunjin’s enthusiasm. “And the cold water is for what again?”
He didn’t look at you as he continued setting up his little experiment in the cramped bathroom, getting a towel ready next to the filled bathtub. “It’s for bringing you back to earth, this helps me sometimes, when my head’s in another place.” He stopped, visually contemplating, “or I guess, more accurately, in a different time.”
You rolled your eyes, doubtful that anything could really take you out of your haze. “Sure.”
Once he finally had everything set up to his liking, he turned to you. “I’m gonna wait outside, I just want you to get in the bath. It’s gonna be cold, but I promise it’ll help. Holler if you need anything at all.”
You nodded vacantly at his retreating form, eyeing the bathtub as the door shut. Were you really going to do this? You could just tell him you did, he wouldn’t know any better.
No. You should take it seriously, he’s trying to help after all. Even if it doesn’t help, it wouldn’t hurt to try. You shakily stood up and loomed over the tub, haphazardly tossing your clothes on the floor.
Once you dipped your foot in, you immediately reconsidered humoring him. It was cold, hardly worth the effort. But hey, you made it this far. So you drop yourself in, a shock immediately overcoming your frame as you shivered uncontrollably. You could feel every inch of your body and the way it interacted with the water, undeniably in the present. You had to admit, your mind couldn’t take you elsewhere if it tried. You were completely and utterly here, enforced by the feeling of the ice cold water.
You handled as much chill as you could before leaping out, warming yourself up with a towel. You had to admit, you were thinking a lot more clearly now. You found it comforting to have a tactic to pull you out of your mind, it had really been an enemy of yours lately.
You heard his voice sound from behind the door, “how’re we feeling?”
And your response was earnest, “A lot better, actually. I’ll be right out.”
Once dry, you tugged your clothes back on, despite your physical restrictions you found yourself a bit more present, alert. You emerge from the bathroom, finding Hyunjin waiting in the hallway. “See?”
You smirk back at him, “ok, maybe you knew what you were talking about a little.”
The two of you went downstairs, and Hyunjin started making you something to eat. Ever since you came back, you haven’t really been alone. Not that you minded, you never really wanted to be by yourself. The most important thing you fought for was to be around them again, see their faces.
Jisung, returning from what you assumed was barn duty, pulled up a chair beside you, “Hyunjin! Make me some too?”
Said man snorted, looking back at the two of you, “Maybe if you ask very nicely.”
Jisung clasped his hands together and shut his eyes, exaggerating, as per usual. “Please, oh great mighty Hyunjin, bless my tastebuds with an extra serving of your mystery concoction!”
Hyunjin chuckled. “Rice and beans. The mystery concoction is rice and beans.”
Jisung giggled back, “Immaculate! Spare some legumes sir?” He leaned closer to you, wordlessly giving your shoulders a little squeeze.
Since you’ve been back, Jisung has really created a safe space. You remembered the way he looked at you when you returned, his expression, for lack of words, was one of a destroyed man. You’d expected him to smother you, but he hadn’t. He’s faithfully been your silent guardian.
You remember all the times he helped you to the bathroom or down the stairs, even the less glamorous times where he cleaned up your vomit or changed your sheets. Yet not once did you feel judged, you just felt cared for.
You owe him so much.
The three of you gobbled up your fills, you specifically having eaten more than you have in a while. You were ready to be functional again, aspire to be as close to the old you as you could get.
Jisung nudged you with his elbow, an undeniable hopefulness in his eyes “Hey. Wanna hang out after this?”
Hyunjin looked across the table, “actually, I was wondering if I could talk to her about something real quick, if that’s okay. She’s all yours afterwards.” His eyes met yours, “If that sounds okay.”
You nodded, “Yes and yes”
Luckily, the two of them haven’t quarreled since you’ve been back. Up until the moment you left, the two of them constantly found each other at odds, but now it’s just like when you first arrived.
Maybe they’re doing it for you. Maybe they’re doing it for them. Maybe both. Regardless, you were happy to see them getting along so well.
Jisung did a thumbs up, and put his bowl in the sink before heading back outside, “see you two in a bit, come find me whenever you’re done.”
Once the door behind Jisung closed, Hyunjin looked back over to you, a hint of determination now present on his face. “So…Changbin’s been sleeping in your room at night.”
Your teeth clenched. You knew that you guys hadn’t been exactly subtle, but you still weren’t expecting anyone to ask you head on. “Yeah…” you hesitate, trying to find the right words. “It’s been hard…sleeping by myself. I wake up in the middle of the night and I forget where I am. Having a familiar face nearby helps me feel safe.”
He nods in understanding, before tilting his head to the side. “And that familiar face has specifically been Changbin.” He smiled a bit, a devilish look you hadn’t seen in a good while. “Are you two officially a thing?”
You choked a little, averting your gaze. “Um…no…nothing official.”
“Would you like it to be?”
You looked back up at him, the devilish smile was still there, but something else was too. Was that…jealousy? “He hasn’t said much about where we stand since I’ve been back.” You take a breath before continuing, knowing you’re about to take a big step, “I know you saw us, when I kissed him back before I left.”
His eyes widened for a moment, clearly not expecting to be called out. “Glad I don’t have to sidestep that little detail.” he prodded some of the remaining food in his bowl. “You also didn’t answer my question.”
“Honestly…” You inhaled, preparing yourself, “I do, but I don’t know where he stands. He’s been so gentle with me since I’ve been back, he’s probably avoiding the topic to give me time. But I’d rather he just be straightforward with me, tell me how he feels.”
He nodded, taking in everything you were saying. “So that’s what you’d prefer. Directness.”
You nodded. “I may have been through a lot lately, but that doesn’t mean I want people to handle me with gloves, ya know?” you take a bite of food, chewing thoughtfully. “I can handle the truth.”
Hyunjin looked at you thoughtfully, seemingly digesting what he’s just been told. “Is that so?”
You furrowed your brows at him in determination. “C’mon Hyunjin, you know me. When have I ever preferred people to be indirect with me? Trauma or no trauma.”
He chuckled, fondly staring down at his scarred hand, letting his finger tips glide across the crescent marks. “Okay then. I have feelings for you too.”
Your eyes widen and you freeze.
What. The. Fuck.
So nonchalantly, the man dumps a metric ton of information on you with one sentence. Hyunjin had feelings for you? Untouchable, unreadable, Hyunjin? Your face heated as you stumbled over your words. “I-I um, oh.”
Where did this come from? Were there hints dropped along the way that you missed? Sure, he’s always made it clear he enjoyed your presence, but this? If he’d have told you much sooner, back when Changbin was still cold to you, you wouldn’t be forced to make this choice. An impossible choice.
He laughed, some of his hair falling in his face as he did so. He swept it away before adding, “don’t worry, I’m a patient man. Take your time.”
You still couldn’t look at him, and your heart pounded in your chest. You also weren’t proud of the emotions he stirred in you. You knew you loved Changbin, but you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t caught yourself staring at Hyunjin time and time again. His otherworldly features, tantalizingly framed by his long, dark locks.
Oh god oh god oh god this cannot be happening. Your face was beet red, and you tried not to make eye contact, after all, you knew what it’d do to you.
He stood from his spot, pushing his chair back into the table, “I’ll go get Jisung. For now just think about it.” He bent down beside you, finding your eyes with his, his voice falling into an alluring whisper. “I’ll wait for you as long as I have to. You know I will.”
You opened your mouth to respond, but he was already out the door. How were you supposed to process all this? You knew you’ve had feelings for Hyunjin since the very beginning, but you love Changbin. It feels like up until now everything’s been leading up to Changbin, so why is Hyunjin posing such an obstacle? Why can’t you find it in yourself to just turn him down? There was a little part of you that didn’t want to. It wanted to give into his temptation, a temptation you knew you had no right to pursue.
You needed to talk to Changbin. Soon.
Jisung appeared at the screen door, interrupting your thoughts. “Hey! Y/N! Still wanna hang?”
You shook the racing thoughts from your head as you stood up, “Sure do, where’re we going?”
-
Minho was sitting with his hand blocking the sun, keeping it out of his eyes as he barked orders. “No! Not that corner Jisung, it already has Parsnips.”
You chuckled as Jisung groaned audibly. “Do you hear this shit, Y/N? And he actually said he was gonna help.”
The four of you were busy setting up fencing around the newly fashioned, raised garden bed. We weren’t sure yet if it’d help, but Felix seemed pretty certain from the winter farming books he found upstairs.
Felix giggled. “You two! Enough!” He smiled, giving you a knowing look, “Y/N, can you run back to Hyunjin’s hunting bench and grab the pliers? I need to fix some of the wire on my end.”
Jisung laughed incredulously, “Her? Make Minho do it!”
Minho grumbled, “Oh please! I’ve earned lazy. Did you enjoy the dinner I made yesterday after a long day of doing nothing?”
You rolled your eyes, hardly fighting your own smile “on it, Felix.”
Thoughts of Hyunjin and Changbin flooded your mind, making it hard to focus on your task. You fished around for the pliers, desperately avoiding the many traces of Hyunjin present on the hunting bench. An old woven bracelet of his that he wore around the house, A knife, displaying indents in the leather handle perfectly displaying where Hyunjin’s hands had been. Even the trashcan he had tied shut to protect from any future, unwanted visitors.
“Y/N?”
You completely stopped what you were doing, hardly able to believe the voice you just heard. There’s no way that was real. Maybe you need to get back in that ice bath.
You whirled around, and your jaw dropped. It was real. He’s real. “Hyoseob?”
He, in fact, did stand before you. Much more ragged and worn out than you remember, his fingers and face red from the cold. He looked relieved, letting out a breath he had clearly been holding. “Oh thank god, I was hoping I had the right place.”
Your expression was a mix of astonishment and overwhelming relief. You rush forward, enveloping him in a tight embrace. “Oh thank god. You made it, you actually made it.” Your eyes were beginning to sting, a very familiar early sign of tears. “I can’t believe it, it had been so many days, I thought you died.”
You genuinely couldn't believe this was happening. It had been so many days since you’ve been back, it became less and less likely you’d ever see him again. After a while, you’d stopped letting yourself hope he was safe, unable to accept any more loss.
“How did you find your way in here? We have people on watch!”
He sniffled, clearly holding back emotions of his own. “You know, that little gate in the back was wide open.”
You snorted, “That’d be Hyunjin’s hunting gate. He leaves the damn thing open all the time.” You noticed him rubbing his cold, red fingers together for warmth. “Let's get you inside, I’ll start up the fireplace.”
He nodded hurriedly, “The others aren’t going to attack me, right?”
You shook your head, “Of course not, I told them to expect you. They know you saved me.” You stared him down more seriously, “You know I’d be dead if it weren’t for you, right?”
He smiled back, his eyes shining, “Don’t mention it.”
-
The commotion around bringing a stranger into the farmhouse was expected, but you were glad that everyone had respected his space. You could tell how grateful they were, with the lack of interrogation usually present in these situations. Minho even leaned over to you at one point as everyone sat around the fire, mentioning that he “had a good feeling about this one.”
Changbin had left guard duty too, sitting himself on the other side of you and Minho. Despite everything that’s just happened, you could feel Hyunjin’s offer digging at the back of your head. You needed to cement things with Changbin, but now wasn’t the time.
Everyone took turns talking to him, some wanted to know more about his escape, and some of the more practical members wanted details about the enemy. Understandably so. And eventually, Chan summoned everyone away to give the two of you some space.
Before leaving, Changbin approached Hyoseob, his tone earnest, “I cannot even begin to thank you for what you’ve done. You didn’t need to to help her, but you did. You brought her home.”
Hyoseob smiled back at him, “I appreciate it, but I really don’t need you to thank me. Any sane person would’ve done the same thing if they had seen what was happening to her.” He looked at you warily, “It was depraved.”
Changbin exhaled, subconsciously pulling you close to him, his grasp firm but gentle. You could feel the way his fingers trembled as he pulled you close. “We will make sure that those fuckers pay for what they did. It cannot and will not go unpunished.”
He was always so severe. While some of the others could hide their emotions a little better, he couldn’t quite hide the anger that was ever-present, constantly pulsating beneath his skin.
You remember the day after you came back, when the anger was at it’s peak. Moments when he thought you were asleep, you could hear the sounds of him punching the walls in the hallway, or the sound of breaking glass from downstairs. The others usually did a good job of calming him down, before he fell asleep next to you. Holding you painfully close as he sobbed himself to sleep.
He felt powerless.
Hyoseob nodded solemnly, “I understand.” He looked between the two of you carefully before continuing. “There’s something you guys need to know.”
The two of you looked back at him expectantly.
“The others, they’ve figured out that you’re back here. They didn’t find your corpse in the forest, so Jiho put two and two together, and he’s mad.”
You took a deep breath, and you felt Changbin’s hold on you tighten. You were expecting this, it’s not like Jiho was gonna wait in the woods forever.
“I’d say you have about a day and a half before they arrive. And honestly, just the nine of you aren’t going to be enough. You’re gonna need more people.”
Changbin nodded, “We should send someone to the JYP temple tonight, they should be here before Jiho’s crew.”
And so they did, Chan, upon hearing the news, sent Seungmin on horseback to get reinforcements. They elected not to use the car so he’d be less noticeable, it’d draw less attention than the loud truck, in case he encounters anyone on the way. Besides, there hasn’t been an opportunity to get gas from Sungjin’s group.
That night, Hyoseob stayed downstairs on the couch, electing to sleep near the fireplace. And that night, like every night since you’ve returned Changbin slept beside you.
However, this night was different.
You woke up very early, moonlight still seeping through the windows. Perhaps you had another nightmare, but unlike the rest, you couldn’t remember this one.
There was an unusual lack of contact at your side. Every night, when you woke up like this, Changbin would be curled up beside you, snoring or stroking your hair. Tonight however, he was sitting up, having moved away from your side to the edge of the bed.
You sat up, stretching. “Hey, everything okay?”
No answer.
You looked over at him, anxiety prickling in the depths of your belly when you saw his face. Cold, angry. Kind of like when you first met him.
“Changbin…?”
He finally looked over at you, his teeth clenched. His tone a deadly quiet, as if he was holding back a worse emotion. “You talked in your sleep last night.”
You furrowed your brows. “I usually do.”
He chuckled darkly. “Yep, but you don’t usually talk about Hyunjin.”
Your face went white.
Taglist: @leetaemintrashnumber1 @peachescherryheart @claire4799 @scissorsandtonfas @hahabitchboy @lanie-is-a-unicorn @anakinandbtsislove @3no-racha @tokiokiedokie
