Stardew Valley MBTI x Enneagram: Haley
Following my last post about the Stardew marriage candidates and their MBTI types, I've been learning more about Enneagram, how it pairs with MBTI, and how it changes some of the typical characteristics of each type.
The Enneagram and MBTI complement each other wonderfully, providing greater depth and understanding of how a person interacts with the world [Cognitive Functions] and their motivations why [Core Desire/Core Fear].
Here are my thoughts on the MBTI and Enneagram pairs for Haley.
Haley - ESTJ 3w4: “The Professional”
“ESTJ 3w4s are ambitious people with a sprinkle of creativity. This personality type is goal-oriented and works harder than most. Because of their wing, they go about their tasks in a unique way.” - Personality Hunt
Haley’s Core Desire: To be successful and unique
The core desire of the ESTJ 3w4 is to be successful, using their wing to create a unique path for themselves.
Haley's desire for success isn't stated outright, but her actions and the dialogue about her in-game indicate that she's looking to achieve a certain level of 'societal success'.
However, she doesn't want to 'succeed' in the traditional way of actively working to gain success. Instead, she wants her own success to be achieved for her 'uniqueness'. By channelling her efforts into cultivating and maintaining her physical beauty, she aims to become the perfect trophy wife for someone rich and live a lavish life of luxury.
"Emily's friend had this swimsuit shipped to me from all the way out in Zuzu City. City fashion is on a whole different level, isn't it?"
"Laying out on a tropical beach.*sigh* I think I've finally found my place in the universe."
"This town is so small. It sucks. I have to drive, like, twenty miles to buy any decent clothes. That's why I usually just order online."
"I've decided I am going to organize my clothes today. I'll have to throw out all of last year's styles to make room for the new ones!"
“I wish Haley would get a job or at least contribute to cooking and cleaning. I think she's hoping to marry someone rich.”
Haley’s Core Fear: To be a failure or seen as a failure
The core fear of the ESTJ 3w4 is to be a failure or be seen as a failure, even if they know they aren't. Appearances matter a lot to 3w4s, both in how they see themselves and how they're viewed by others. However, Haley's desire for success goes beyond simple ambition. She seems obsessed with maintaining a flawless standard of beauty: perfectly tan skin, skin-kissed blonde hair, the latest fashion trends, flawless makeup and accessorizing, etc., Whom she associates with is also an important factor in appearing successful, such as having the 'perfect boyfriend' [Alex] and distancing herself from her 'weird' sister and others in her community.
Her behaviour leads many to believe she's just a spoiled brat who was babied by her parents, but in reality, Haley is afraid of failure; deep down she thinks she isn't good enough.
So to ease her own fears and insecurities, she tries to keep up with the impossible beauty standards she imposes on herself and hyper-focuses on how she is perceived by others who have, [in her eyes], achieved success.
Her pride prevents her from being honest with herself and accepting criticism from others when it matters.
“She should take the 'high road'? What's that supposed to mean? You think I'm being a baby, huh?”
“I'll be fine on my own...Thanks for the memories. Why are you still clinging to me? Go live your own life.”
“Haley is too proud to be heartbroken over the divorce... Or at least to show it.”
"My sister is so weird. Sometimes I wonder if we're actually related."
"I'm feeling an urge to go shopping. Ugh! I wish there was a mall here."
"…Well, I guess I used to like Alex. But not anymore! He's immature."
"I've never been to the forest. It's muddy and I could get a blister on my foot."
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How Enneagram 3w4 changes typical ESTJ behaviour:
New Strengths
1. Less Extroverted
"ESTJ are already introverted extroverts. The spectrum shifts even more with ESTJ 3w4s. Because of their wing, this personality type will crave alone time and autonomy.
So, expect them to be less social than typical ESTJs. It also means there’s a constant battle between type 3 and type 4 regarding human interaction.
The extent to which this applies depends on the strength of their wing." - Personality Hunt
Examples:
“Um... Yes? I didn't hear you, I'm thinking about something else.”
“Haley is ignoring you.”
“*sigh*...what do you think I should do today? I'll probably take a nap later.”
"I spent 3 hours practicing my signature today. I guess that's pretty silly, huh?"
"The only good thing about winter is that I get to sleep more. I like at least 10 hours of sleep every night."
2. More Interested in Fashion
Type 3s care about outward appearances and type 4s care about being unique, so it makes sense that ESTJs would be more interested in fashion.
Combined with their exceptional cognitive skills at strategizing [Te] and ability to maintain standards [Si], the primary goal of the ESTJ 3w4 is to create a lasting impression with their fashion sense.
Examples:
“Hmm... If it weren't for those horrendous clothes you might actually be cute.”
“Do you wear those clothes every day?”
"I'm going to start writing a list of all the clothes I need for next spring."
"I think I'm starting to realize that clothes aren't the most important thing. Right? I still like clothes, though. I mean, what's wrong with expressing yourself a little?"
3. More Creative
ESTJs are very pragmatic people who look to achieve tangible results in their daily lives. However, the ESTJ 3w4 is slightly different. Their enneagram makes them more creative and future-oriented than typical ESTJs.
As a result, they often have a good idea of what they want their near future to look like and infuse more art and creativity into their goals and lifestyle.
Examples:
“My name means 'field of hay', but I like to imagine it as a meadow full of sunflowers..."
“Wow, look at how the sunlight sparkles on the horizon! I bet the sunsets here would make for an amazing photo. I have to remember to bring my camera next time.”
"I felt like I had no direction in life before I met you. Now I have exactly what I want."
"We've got to make sure the farm is cute! That might be important… right, honey?"
“I cooked dinner last night. It actually turned out okay! But I did make a huge mess in the kitchen..."
"Hi, honey. Hey... I have an idea... I want to get everyone together for a charity cake-walk. Uh... It's kind of like musical chairs, but everyone wins and gets cake! You'll see...”
4. Status Conscious
"Type 3 is overly interested in what people think of them or how they’re perceived. This interest drives them to preserve their self-image. It also goes side by side with their need to look fashionable.
This has its advantages. ESTJ 3w4s are more likely to be noticed first. This can aid their careers." - Personality Hunt
Examples:
“Emily's friend had this swimsuit shipped to me from all the way out in Zuzu City. City fashion is on a whole different level, isn't it?
"This town is so small. It sucks. I have to drive, like, twenty miles to buy any decent clothes. That's why I usually just order online. What?”
“Hmm. What brand is your shirt? Oh. Um, never mind.”
"You got Haley to marry you, huh? I always figured she was out of your league!"
"I'll admit… I was a little jealous when you and Haley got married."
5. More Sensitive
ESTJs aren't known for being sensitive. They are Thinkers first and foremost, making them less sensitive to emotions and feelings [of others and their own]. Using logical reasoning, they prefer to communicate in a straightforward, matter-of-fact way that can often make them overly blunt, tactless, or dismissive.
ESTJ 3w4s are different. While they retain their inner logic, they are much more tactful and emotionally aware than typical ESTJs.
Once she connects more to her Introverted Feeling [Fi], Haley begins revealing the more sensitive, thoughtful, and empathetic part of herself. However, ESTJs tend to be very private about their innermost feelings and desires, so they only open up to people they are close to and trust.
Examples:
“Did you see last night's episode of 'Tears'? *sob*... I can't believe Kyle and Amy broke up...”
“Yesterday I found a seagull with her wing caught in a net. I set her free, of course. She looked so helpless, the poor thing.”
“...Maybe [my great-grandma’s bracelet will] wash up on another shore. I can't bear to think of it at the bottom of the ocean.”
“Fall is kind of sad for me... everything is dying.”
"I talked to my sister for a while last night. I actually enjoyed it quite a bit. You know, Emily's not actually that weird. I guess we have more in common than I used to think. Don't tell her I said so."
New Weaknesses
1. Can be Self Absorbed
"[Being an ESTJ type 3 with a] type 4 as a wing comes some weaknesses. One of them is the tendency to become self-absorbed. When stressed or unhealthy, ESTJ 3w4s might become wrapped in their bubble.
During these periods, they might become hypersensitive to any situation they find themselves. It can make them feel really special or cursed. Regardless of how they feel, it can make their loved ones feel like outsiders." - Personality Hunt
Examples:
“I feel the urge to go shopping. *sigh*”
“Your name is Farmer, right? I keep forgetting.”
"I wish someone would bring me a peppermint coffee. Don't even bother, I know you won't be able to make one."
[Spouse Flower Dance Accept] "*sigh*… My days of being Flower Queen are over… so it's a bittersweet dance for me."
"*sigh* I could really go for a cupcake right now. Do you need something?"
"I'm feeling an urge to go shopping. Ugh! I wish there was a mall here."
2. Competitive Streak
Type 3s are competitive people and while this can be admirable, it can also get out of hand. Combined with Haley's desire to be unique, her competitiveness comes out when comparing herself to the farmer, especially in the beginning of their relationship.
She constantly critiques the farmer's choice of clothes, profession, and even their smell. She is especially ruthless towards the female farmer, implying that Haley views her as competition.
Examples:
“Nice shoes. Are those made out of plastic?”
“Nice makeup. Or wait... Are you even wearing any?”
“Hmm... If it weren't for those horrendous clothes you might actually be pretty... Actually, never mind.”
"Don't you get tired of running around on that farm all day, or whatever it is you do? I couldn't stand getting all dirty like that. You probably get a nice tan, though."
“Getting the perfect tan is an art form...It's kind of like toasting a marshmallow... you have to rotate the body just right.”
"Ew, you're all dirty."
"Do you wear those clothes every day?"
"Hmm… Something smells weird…You've been working on the farm, huh?"
3. Excessive Focus on Self Image
"As stated earlier, self-image is important to ESTJ 3w4s for good reasons. However, when this is taken too far, it can cause problems.
This personality type can become too focused on self-image that they prioritize over anything else.
Thus, they may have fake lives and lie to seem more appealing. This can affect their personal relationships. ESTJ 3w4s need to sort out what’s most important." - Personality Hunt
Examples:
"Maybe I'll donate some of my skirts to a charity this spring. I mean, I do have over 1,000 skirts."
“Is that a grass stain on your knee? Sorry, I'm allergic to grass.”
“I've never been to the forest. It's muddy and I could get a blister on my foot.”
“My sister is so weird. Sometimes I wonder if we're actually related.”
4. Eternal Battle for Self-Identity
The conflict between type 3's need for image preservation and networking and type 4's need for independence can create a life-long inner battle for the ESTJ 3w4.
This can lead the ESTJ to wear facades for long periods, and if left for too long, cause them to lose sight of their core values and what they really want in life [especially if they get disconnected from their Fi]. In extreme cases, ESTJ 3w4s can spend their entire lives trying to discover who they really are.
Examples:
“I need to find some kind of hobby other than shopping. I've decided I want to expand my horizons. Maybe I should learn to play the mini-harp?”
"Shopping just doesn't sound as fun as it used to. What's happening to me? Hmm..."
“I should start reading some books instead of magazines. It's good to learn things, isn't it? I only ever look at the pictures.”
“I never thought I'd say this, but the country lifestyle really suits me.”
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Conclusion
Haley is one of those characters that, whether players love her or hate her, has more going on than what first impressions imply. We're first introduced to her as a mean, shallow, self-absorbed, spoiled brat of a 'princess' who only seems to care about her tan lines and when her next shopping trip will be.
However, once we get past her 'mean girl' facade, we see someone deeply afraid of failure or being labelled a failure. As a result, because she tries so hard to keep up with trends and outward indicators of 'success', Haley doesn't really know who she is and what she wants out of life.
Her friendship with the farmer helps her to get more in touch with her Introverted Feeling [Fi], her weakest function as an ESTJ. Once she does, she begins to define for herself what it truly means to be successful, regardless of external standards or expectations.
She starts to find meaning and purpose in embracing nature, getting into photography, and helping others in her community. She even organizes an entire charity event by herself, infusing her creativity and passion for cake into the event to raise money for Jas’ and Vincent’s education.
"Hey! Oh, good, you brought the cake!.. It's a pretty good turnout [for the charity cake walk], huh? Thanks everyone for joining in. We raised over 5,000g!... It was a big success! Thanks for helping out, honey.”
She comes to cherish the town she was once so desperate to escape from to be successful, and instead, finds meaning, value, and joy in being a part of her tight-knit farming community.
"I used to complain about this town being so small, but I've grown to like it. If it was much bigger it wouldn't feel like a community."
"I felt like I had no direction in life before I met you. Now I have exactly what I want."
Do you agree that Haley is an ESTJ 3w4? If not, what type do you think she is? Let me know your thoughts in the comments :)
--------------------------------------------------------------------- References:
Personality Hunt: ESTJ 3w4 - The Complete Guide
