killing myself in new and unforeseen ways.
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killing myself in new and unforeseen ways.
new stephanie hans jeanscott just dropped
HELLUVA BOSS PILOT REMAKE AND FULLY UNCENSORED S1 & 2 ON PRIME SEPTEMBER 10TH AND HAZBIN HOTEL S2 OCTOBER 29TH
Why are you so irritated? Why wouldn't I be? Just accept it. We lost. Do you think that's what this is about? Then what is it about? Forget it. Tell me. What is it about it? I said forget it! Tell me!
Tastefully Yours (2025) dir. Park Dan-hee
MC uses she/her pronouns, is autistic, has no romantic experience. 2.7k words
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
“Asmo, I need your help.” You skipped greetings, barging into the champagne-haired demon's room uninvited and unannounced. Typically, that would bother you, but this was an urgent matter. Besides, you had heard him singing a moment ago, so he wasn't in the bathroom or anything like that. You shut the door behind you.
“Why, hello there, darling~! What a pleasant surprise, I was just thinking about you,” he lifted his head from the fashion magazine he was reading on his bed. “What can I help you with? Oh, but if it's anything that'll get me dirty, I can't do it. I just got out of the bath!”
You plopped yourself onto his bed, staring at the designs on the canopy above you. Flowery perfume filled your nose as you blinked a few times, the scent lingering between breaths.
“No, it’s nothing like that. I'm just really…really confused about something that I think you might be able to help me with.”
That seemed to pique Asmo’s interest. He shut the magazine and sat on his knees, eyes shining as he leaned over you, eager to hear more. “Ooh, I can sense this is going to be something exciting! I've rarely seen you this frazzled before. What is it, tell me, tell me!”
You covered your face with a hand, sighing dramatically as your frustration gave way to resignation. “Okay. So, I'm like, somewhat emotionally closed off. And can't identify half of what I'm feeling—”
“Oh, honey, I know.”
You removed your hand from your face and glared at the cheeky demon. He giggled and urged you to keep going. A finger absentmindedly twirled around a strand of your hair as you started speaking again.
“Well, it's about Le…Leviathan.” You hesitated, and the mere mention of his name made your heart race, catching you off guard and deepening your confusion.
“Go on…” he urged, a grin already plastered on his face. You looked back at the top of the canopy.
“It started a while back. These weird twinges of…feelings,” Your face subconsciously contorted into a disgusted look. You shook your head and continued, feeling Asmo’s eyes burning holes through you, “I brushed them off at first. You know, a weird stomach twinge here and there. And the occasional heart palpitation. It could've been a plethora of other things, you know? Maybe I was hungry or needed fresh air or something.”
“But then it started becoming more frequent and more intense. And it would just get worse the closer I was to him. We'd be watching anime like normal, but I turn to look at his face, and suddenly my stomach unsettles. My face gets all warm, and my fingers get tingly. My heart starts beating really fast. Sometimes it feels like my throat is closing. So now I'm like, concerned. Am I…becoming allergic to him or something? Can that happen if you spend too much time with someone? Those symptoms don't emerge when I'm with any of you guys, though, and I can barely get a moment of peace in this house, so I'd say I would notice additional side effects as well. It's a strange phenomenon. Is it because I've spent so much time around marine life that my body is now rejecting it?!”
You shot up, genuinely considering the possibility. Anxiety began building in your chest. Asmodeus stared at your concerned face in silence for a moment, then began to say something, only to burst out laughing. You blinked in confusion, unsure whether to be embarrassed or offended.
“What's so funny…?” You laid a hand on your chest, sadness and embarrassment striking as vulnerability surfaced.
At the tone of your voice, Asmo looked at you. He seemed to immediately absorb your body language and stopped laughing. A smile stayed on his face as he shook his head.
“Oh, I wasn't laughing at you! I'm sorry, beautiful,” his hands cupped your cheeks, and he repeated himself, “I’m sorry. I'm grateful you trust me enough to share your unknown feelings with me! You've come out of your shell plenty since you arrived here, and I'm proud of you, okay?”
The ache in your chest subsided, replaced by a tentative relief as you nodded, feeling your body relax. Asmo smiled and let go of your face to softly grab your hands.
“You are a brilliant human,” he began, “but dear, you simply must learn to turn your logical side off sometimes! You're looking at this from the completely wrong standpoint. Like, the words you use to describe it. Side effect, phenomenon, symptoms? Hon, this isn't an experiment; you're in love with him. Head over heels. Your entire face is red right now, actually! And you have this bashful smile on your face. You're probably thinking of him right now, aren't you?”
“Asmo, stooooop!!” You wailed, covering your face and flopping onto your side. Your skin was warm against your palms, confirming his comment.
He laughed again, flopping next to you, “Wow. For a human who's seen everything the human world has to offer, you've really never fallen in love before?”
“I…guess not. I mean, I’ve been flirted with countless times, but I’ve never felt feelings like...like THIS! It's disgusting! Oh my god, am I gonna feel like this EVERY TIME I’m around him?” Your hands clutched your chest.
“Oh dear, you're adorable! You truly know nothing about love, do you? This is so exciting! Aah, I can't wait to be your wingman! I've got you covered. Let me teach you everything I know!” he sat up and clapped his hands together. With a resigned sigh, you begrudgingly followed suit, pushing your hair out of your face as you sat facing each other.
“Okay, where do we start?”
“First, you have to admit to yourself that you're in love with him.”
“…”
“Ahahahahaha! Stubborn as ever!”
“…’In love’ is pretty intense. Are you sure it's not just a temporary infatuation?”
Asmo rolled his eyes, letting out a sigh as he threw his head back, “Okay, we are doing it this way. If you're not in love with him, then surely you don't mind other demons flirting with him, asking him out on dates?”
“He'd have to leave his room for that.”
“MC, you’re killing me! Assume he leaves the house this time! How would seeing someone else flirt with him make you feel? Pretty jealous, right?”
You gave yourself a moment to think, tapping your chin and looking to the side. Imagining Leviathan as a stuttering, blushing mess made you smile involuntarily—until you realized it wouldn't be you making him feel that way. Disappointment replaced your smile instantly, and Asmo, watching your expression closely, caught every flicker of emotion.
“I suppose I’d be…jealous at that. But that doesn't prove anything! Jealousy is natural! It's not like he'd go on a da…date with them…right? RIGHT?”
Your hands gripped his shoulders, eyes widening. He didn't seem phased in the slightest.
“Hahaha, you sound just like Leviathan! You're clearly made for each other! I've honestly been waiting to see how long it took for you to realize your own feelings! It was painful watching that from afar, you know! So, when are you gonna confess?”
You reeled back. "What do you mean by ‘confess’? As if! He only likes 2D people. Has he ever even felt the touch of a real woman? I... wouldn't mind being the first. Honestly, there are plenty of things I'd try with him—"
“MC!?”
Asmo’s voice came out in a high-pitched squeal. You blinked back to reality and let out a scream of your own.
“AAAHH?! WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME?” You clutched your head, trying to push away all the naughty thoughts that spawned in your mind. When one was gone, three more appeared.
He began howling with laughter, “Goodness, I've never felt your lust so intensely! What is going through your dirty little mind right now?!”
“A LOOOOOT!” You threw yourself on your back, turning to the side and curling yourself into a ball. You feared Asmodeus was going to pass out from laughing at your confusion.
You jolted when his room door slammed open, but you kept yourself curled into a ball.
“Oh— hello, Mammon. Did you need something? We are kinda in the middle of a discussion here…”
“Yeah, a discussion that everyone can hear! Why are ya screamin’ so much? What did ya do to MC? She’s all curled up like a wounded animal.”
You sat up at the sound of his voice. Your heart began beating out of your chest, “Wait. Wait. What do you mean, EVERYONE can hear it? How much of that did you hear, Mammon?!”
He blinked once at your panicked tone, then looked between you and Asmo. Your breath stayed caught in your throat as you waited for him to reply. You could live with Beel or even Satan finding out. But if he knew you had feelings for Levi, it was totally over.
“Uh… just Asmo screaming your name and you shouting about what was wrong with you. Am I missing something, because I feel like I totally am--”
“NO. You’re not!”
There was a snicker behind you, but you remained unblinking at Mammon. He looked confused. “Ya know, that doesn’t sound more convincin’, especially with your yelling and your face so red. Are ya sick or somethin’?”
Asmo snorted and whispered only loud enough for you to hear, “Yeah, lovesickness, probably.” You elbowed him in the ribs with enough force to make him whine, “Owwww! MC, you’re so meeeean!”
“I can be meaner,” you hissed.
Satan came into view in the doorway, “As much as I would normally encourage you being mean to my brothers, you’re being equally as rowdy, and I’m trying to read. So if you could lower the volume by three octaves, that would be appreciated.”
You opened your mouth to make a snarky comment, but Asmo beat you to it, “Apologies, Satan! Our darling MC here is just in her feels.”
“I’M PERFECTLY FINE!”
Mammon flinched and covered his ears, “Geez, if that’s ‘fine’, then I’d hate to hear what upset sounds like.”
“Did someone say ‘the feels’? That’s a TWICE song, you know! MC taught me that. Oh, why is everyone in here?”
“Because Asmo and MC have been screaming like maniacs. You didn’t hear that commotion, Levi?” Satan looked at his older brother. The tips of your ears began burning at the sight of him, anxiety creeping in again.
“No, I had my headphones on.”
You whipped your head towards Asmodeus at the same time he turned towards you. Except that your face was one of pure horror, and his was one of pure joy. An evil smirk spread across his face, “MC’s—”
You instinctively slapped your hands over his mouth, and he tumbled over onto his back at the force. Your hands stayed clasped firmly as you glowered down at him, “I will kick. Your. Fucking. Ass.”
“He’d probably enjoy that…” one of the others said.
“To be honest, I think all of us would.”
Your eyes stayed glued to the Avatar of Lust. A muffled laugh escaped through your fingers in confirmation. Asmo held his hands together above his head, shooting you his best puppy dog eyes. You shot him a final warning glare before slowly removing your hands from his mouth.
“You should feel lucky I didn’t lick your hands,” he chirped, sitting up again and fixing his hair. You watched him turn his focus to the other three demons still lingering at the entrance of his room, “MC here is just learning some new things! She needs to do some further research before taking action. Isn’t that right, MC?”
You blinked a couple of times, trying to pick up what he was putting down. He shot you a look, raising an eyebrow. Oh, is he referring to your infatuation with Leviathan? You couldn’t see yourself taking action on that anytime soon. “Actually, I think I’ve done all the digging I need.”
“You’ve barely scratched the surface.”
“Yes, I have.”
“Have not.”
“Have to.”
“Have NOT-”
“Um, hello? Did you forget we’re all still standing here?” Levi interrupted your childish bickering, “and we’re confused as ever. What do you need help with, MC? Surely one of us besides Asmo could assist you.”
“Ooh, great idea, Levi! In fact, I think you’re the perfect demon to help MC!” Asmo nudged you, coaxing you to stand up. Your body seemed to move on its own as you made eye contact with Levi. Yet your feet stayed glued to the floor. You tried not to fidget with your hands as you spoke.
“Ummm…actually, I think Beel would help me the most right now. Not with research or anything, but I’ve suddenly got the overwhelming urge to stuff my face with food. You need calories to think, you know! And it’s uh, really warm in here. I need some fresh air. So I’m just going to…” Your feet finally began moving, and you slowly walked past Mammon, who was standing farthest in the room.
“Maybe she really is coming down with a sickness. I’ve never seen her act so strange,” he murmured to himself.
Satan was next. He raised an eyebrow but didn’t bother to stop you as you walked past him. Levi leaned against the doorframe, headphones slung around his neck. Your pace slowed as you neared him, and you stared at each other in the eyes. You were painfully aware of the blush that stayed stubbornly on your face.
“MC—”
“I’ll stop by your room later,” You muttered, brushing your fingers along his arm as you walked out the threshold of Asmo’s room. They lingered for a moment before you broke contact, quickly turning away and rushing downstairs to the kitchen. Yes, you were going to stop by his room, but not to confess your feelings or anything like that. Hell might just freeze over before then. You needed time to think.
Beel was right where you expected him to be. Your shoulders relaxed as you watched him chow down on bat-flavored popcorn by the counter.
“Hey, Beel,” You said, smiling as you opened the fridge and grabbed a Devil Cola, “do you want to sit outside and stress eat with me?”
He hummed in greeting, swallowing a mouthful of popcorn before replying, “If it means I get to spend time with you, then sure. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you’re eating, but why are you stress eating? Is everything okay?”
You casually waved your hand, dismissing his worried face, “It’s nothing serious, promise. I just have some things on my mind and would love nothing more than to eat my weight in candy right now. Maybe that will give me new insight.”
Luckily, his face relaxed. He shoved another handful of popcorn into his mouth, smiling at you with full cheeks, “Okay. let’s do it.”
Your mouth automatically curved into a grin. You gathered your snacks, bringing them outside and setting them between you on a bench. You ate in near silence, occasionally exchanging a sentence or two. You still hadn’t reached a solid conclusion when you were stuffed to your heart’s content.
You headed back to your room, lost in thought. Surely you could not be in love with Leviathan. That was ridiculous. You’re best friends. Did you have a little crush? Sure, but it was pure curiosity—
Your thoughts were cut short when you flicked on your light and noticed something on your bed. You shut the door and walked closer. It was a bag of comfort candy, along with a note. You picked it up, feeling your chest constrict.
‘MC,
You seemed really upset earlier, so I thought some comfort candy might cheer you up. Asmo didn’t make you uncomfortable or anything, did he? I’m sure whatever is stressing you out, you’ll solve soon. You always do. I believe in you. Make sure to come by my room. I’ll be waiting for you!
— Leviathan’
You held the note to your chest, feeling your thundering heartbeat. The conflicting thoughts in your head halted, merging into one synchronized feeling.
Well, shit.
You are in love with him.
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first time posting Fanfic lemme know what you guys think. just don't throw tomatoes. i hate tomatoes. ok thanks
INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE "No Pain" • "And That's The End of It. There's Nothing Else"