#ex proshipper

[caramelwithahintofvanilla]

part of my recovery is going to be to completely stop using ao3

1. does anyone have any alternative sites

2. can we make an alternative site cause i like the tagging system but i hate that it allows cp

[lungofthefang]

As an ex-anti, the way that some proshippers act regarding people who left the proship community due to traumatic experiences is honestly very disgusting and some of you really need to grow a heart.

Can you imagine a proshipper talking about their traumatic experiences as an ex-anti and in response, antis laughed at them? You all would be fuming, so why is it magically okay when it’s the reverse of that? “This is funny!” “Lmfao!” “Why seek help?” This isn’t even counting the times I’ve seen proshippers say that ex proshippers are dumb or evil or lacking in morals when being an ex proshipper ≠ being an anti.

Congratulations if you’ve never had a bad experience while in the proship community but a lot of other people, me included, can’t say the same.

[whatiwasleftwith]

advice needed from ex or current proshippers

Before I start I want to preface this by saying that while I do not have issues with the proship community in general, my time in the community severely traumatized me and left me feeling morally bankrupt and like I have skeletons in my closet. I met many wonderful people in that community, people who share the same love for fiction and hatred of censorship and harassment that I do.

However, my ex (a very proud proshipper) severely traumatized me through encouraged consumption of media that dug up my past traumas, made me feel like a disgusting person, and generally leaves me feeling like I have done deplorable things that will ruin my life and current relationships if they are known about. This goes not just for his encouragement of media labeled as specifically darkship, but also several other things he did in the relationship, which I will not be getting into.

During our relationship, he fully acknowledged my CSA trauma, trauma which is also tied to ince$t. He encouraged me to consume fictional media containing both, separately and combined, during which I did. At the time I don't think I realized that I was doing this to harm myself and to relive what happened to me to understand why but it always left me with a sour taste in my mouth and my heart filled with guilt.

Occasionally, I wrote stories with these topics but the way that I wrote them was an exploration of the effects they leave people and characters with. The only time I wrote or created anything sexualized with this topic was another instance of sh with him encouraging me to create it. For him, however, I don't think there was any instance were it wasn't sexualized and he would not only encourage me to consume media like this in a sexualized context but push it on me during sexual situations between the two of us when I could not handle it.

Now, I am left feeling like I am just as bad as my abuser. I'm left feeling like I will never be able to tell anyone publicly what he did to me if I ever felt like I wanted to, because I'm afraid that if I do he will use screenshots of me saying things I was heavily influenced and encouraged to say and do to attempt to discredit me. I'm left feeling like I'm carrying a reputation and life ruining secret. I especially feel this because I do not for sure have concrete evidence to prove my abuse as many of our harmful interactions do not exist in text and at the time I was unaware of how I was being influenced.

I just want to know if anyone who's been in a similar situation knows how I can stop living in fear and in shame. I feel so disgusting for the things I engaged in and consumed to harm myself under the encouragement and influence of someone who hurt me so greatly I didn't know who I was and dissociated so heavily I believed someone else was in control of my mind at times. I do not wish to start or reignite discourse of any kind, I do not want harassment in the notes of this. If you wonder where I stand, I'm heavily anti censorship, anti harassment, believe people should have the right to consume and create what they want including shipping what they want. I recognize that while it was the opposite of a coping mechanism for me, consuming media containing topics related to peoples trauma may be a coping mechanism for them. You are allowed to be grossed out or hurt by something, that simply means it's not for you and you need to ignore it. People will do what they want with art and fiction, you cannot police it and trying to do so makes you an asshole.

Whoever jumps in here with their input, thank you. It is greatly appreciated in my journey of trying to figure out how to navigate moving forward and entering the next chapter of my life.

[layla-girlfriend]

IMPORTANT

im sorry, but im no longer a proshipper/comshipper

Ive whanted to quit proshipping for a while now, ive been forcing myself to make theese types of content

It was very hard for me, to leave my "safespace" ive had for over a year

Proshipping is harmfull

[mikurulucky]

OMG! I'm so glad I found you! I recognized your artstyle and I remember liking your art since I was like 13 and you were a huge inspo for me back in the day. To clarify, I had no idea that you used to be THAT kind of shipper (if you know what I mean 🤐) untill I've read your latest journal on DA. Like I said, I was 13 at the time and had no idea what word "proshipper" meant and liked your stuff mainly because I thought your art was cute 😭. The most important thing is that you got out of it and that you're still making cool art 💖. Hope you understand and have a great day ✨

Thanks so much. Time flies, huh? Yeah also glad to not be following the proship blogs I followed back then. Also fandoms in 2013 basically normalized some fucked up shit, I still remember how popular that one ship between a teenager and his adult ghost cousin was in the Dude That's My Ghost fandom back then. :/

Glad to be out of all that and that fandoms aren't as afraid to call out messed up shit when needed.

[crewtawn]

Did your description say you posted loli and shota and whatever at some point? Am I stupid? Please tell me that’s been dropped

God, a long time ago. It's totally been dropped. At that point I had been groomed into thinking it was normal. (Thanks Eddsworld Amino and Black Butler fandom very cool and based. /sarcasm)

When I hit 16 I found out that it wasn't a normal thing. Obviously changed my description. Does it still say it somewhere? I'll actually rip my lungs out and roll over dead if it does. I think anyone under the age of 18 is gross annoying nowadays anyway. Never having kids, those things infuriate me.

Sorry if this freaked anyone out! I am NOT proship, lolisho, or any of that crap. Blech.

[antipratfaves]

Hi is it alright if I make two requests?

The first is Double Trouble from She-da and the Princessses of Power who is an ex-radqueer, ex-proshipper, anti-prat, Devqueer (link—> here) and a chronosian who reclaims the term “Transage”. 

The second is Alador Blight from the Owl House who is a chronosian, Catqueer (link—> here) with atypical dysphoria who hates PRATS and proshippers!

Double Trouble from She-Ra and the Princesses of Power is an ex-radqueer, ex-proshipper, anti-PRAT, devqueer, and reclaims the term transage!

Alador Blight from the Owl House is a chronosian catqueer with atypical dysphoria who hates PRATs and proshippers

sometimes Billy puts images of the flags both with and without characters when it feels its too obscured by the charactrr to make out all the flags.

[anqelstears]

my apology. (from an ex-proshipper)

i encourage both sides to read this, but make sure you read the content warning segment.

CW // sexualization of the following : grooming, abuse, sexual assault, incest, “lolisho”

i will never post this on my main. i have drowned myself in lies and the guilt of it all will never let me rest.  this is an apology for whoever wants to read and a cautionary tale for the ones who are, unfortunately, going down the same path i regrettably chose for myself. if it brings peace to anyone or if it prevents something truly terrible, i will feel accomplished. my asks will be open if you want to let out your frustrations on how stupid i once was. i am encouraging you to, since i’m too much of a coward to suffer any kind of major consequence, feel free to tell me all of the nasty things you may feel once you’re finished reading this, and to whoever finds nothing wrong with what i have done, please revaluate your stances.

i used to be a proshipper, if the title hadn’t made it obvious enough, and i regret every second of it. i’m not even sure where it even began, everything feels like a blur. the more i try to remember, the foggier it gets. my therapist doesn’t quite understand the discourse, which, of course she doesn’t, but she has told me i have developed an anxiety disorder and according to my version of events (what i remember, at least), she’s convinced i have been taken advantage of by these people who i called my friends.

and i believe her. i hate admitting this. for once, i will put my pride aside and say that i’m gullible. i’m an idiot. i believe her when she tells me they’ve taken advantage of me and i believe her when she said that they radicalized my views and that i would do anything to feel like i belonged in a space. i’m desperate to feel anything else but alienation. all my life, i have longed for this feeling and they knew, taking advantage of my past trauma that i, regrettably, told them about. i was one of those people that used fiction as a coping mechanism to deal with my childhood trauma. i can’t stress enough how dangerous it is for you to make yourself vulnerable like this on the internet, and the worst part of it all, i should have known better. i was 18 years old when this happened.

i have done terrible, terrible things. i forced myself to be okay with lolisho, to be okay with abuse, incest, sexual assault. all because “it was all fiction”, and “no one was getting hurt”, but deep down, it was hurting me and so many others. i engaged in conversations with these people. i was told that my trauma was hot and they wished to be groomed, to be sexually assaulted, and all i could do was nothing because i knew what the consequences were. i would be shunned and would be alone again. these people loved me, they told me so, often.

i drew for them, i wrote for them, i wanted them to love me more. i felt like i was on top of the world, so many people enjoyed my company. i had friends. i was blinded by these rose colored glasses.

they loved me so much, until i started realizing how terrible they were. i saw how other people felt about them, how invalidated other victims felt. i felt terrible, knowing that i had contributed to it. i distanced myself from them and once they realized i did this, i was suddenly a target. i was harassed nonstop for hours, days, even. they love to preach about being anti-harassment until you’re no longer okay with the stuff they enjoy. suddenly, you’re a nasty anti or an anti dickrider. 

they didn’t love me anymore, and leaving was one of the most liberating feelings i have ever felt. i should have known better, but i unfortunately was in too deep. this wasn’t an attempt to excuse my actions, this was my story, my side of things, what i remember. 

i’m sorry if you’ve ever seen my posts on my old accounts, and i’m sorry if i made you relapse, i’m sorry for making you feel like i was glamourizing your trauma, i’m sorry for everything i have done. i denounce proshippers, i denounce this era of my life, i wish i could erase it, but i can’t. i will live the rest of my days with this and i hope that nobody goes through the same things i did. my actions are disgusting and i will never do this again. 

you are not cool, you are not better than anyone. and if you’re a child, please run. run as fast as you can from them, you’re bound to be taken advantage of like i have. they’re all sick in the head. 

this post sums up very well how proshipping may affect real people, please give it a read.

once again, i apologize for all the horrible things i might have caused.

thank you for giving me a chance. like i said, my ask box is open if you want to voice frustrations, ask questions, and essentially, whatever you want.

love, angel.