Everyone loves Spencer Reid because he’s fun and silly and sweet or whatever but I’d like to remind everyone that we should just be grateful he has morals. Because if he didn’t he would be the best serial killer ever. He has an eidetic memory and an iq of 187. That’s 102 points above average. He would probably be able to run from the cops forever and use his fbi knowledge and abilities to hide all evidence against himself.
(Yes this is motivation for someone to make a dark/killer Reid au because it’d be fun)
Summary: Spencer Reid x Fe!Reader -> You were first introduced to Spencer through Emily, however, six years later, it seems some things are beginning to change.
Disclaimer: 16+ CM level violence. Descriptions of torture, death and stalking. This is part two. Part one can be accessed here. Fluff towards the end. Pining. Angst (kinda). Not proof read.
Five Months Later…
The last five months had been like agony for Spencer.
He’s spent the last five months trying his best to figure out his feelings for you until one morning he walked into work, determined to look less like a complete confused mess as he had done for the last several days.
His tie was still a little crooked, but his hair was neater than when he’d rolled out of bed, and his shirt wasn’t creased. And with a coffee in his hand, he was waking up a little faster than usual. Except, just as he stepped through the doors, he saw you by your desk.
No-one was in the office yet. You’d been removing your scarf and coat, laying them on the back of your chair when he spotted you and the voice in his head said…
I love you.
He’d shocked himself.
Of course, he had already known his feelings ran deep for you. But it was the first time the actual words had been spoken out loud, or in the very least, to himself.
And it had been agony ever since.
He was pretty sure he managed to hide it, though he doubted that the team didn’t at least have their suspicions. If Emily had figured it out with only a couple of days, the team had seen them both for months.
However, Spencer was certain of one thing.
He had it under control.
Like he had told Emily, he didn’t want to lose you. And if that meant forever being your friend, living with a cage around his heart when he was with you that felt as if it was crushing his soul, he could happily live with that.
Until, one day, Spencer wondered why he’d built the cage in the first place. Because as much as he was aware of the dangers both of your jobs posed, he never thought he could lose you because of that.
The team had been flown to Oregon for a case. Four women had been killed in the town, all with a similar look, background and lifestyle. And the further you were looking into the case, it didn’t just seem to be in Oregon. The bodies trailed over the years across the country, and from what you could figure, the first had been in Virginia.
However, the longer you all worked on the case, the more the nagging feeling in your gut grew. Something felt too familiar about the case.
“We have to be missing something. We already know this guy stalks his victims, right. He knows what they do for work, he makes sure he knows what they’re doing at all times. He prays for the right moment when they're alone or they’re away from their general routine.”
“If it was a bigger pattern you could say he’s picking them at random.”
“But I don’t think he is. I mean, look at how each of the victims are described.”
They were described as smart, happy, hard working. If they ever stepped out of their routine, it was because they had to. The first victim drove a little out of town because her usual restaurant she ordered from was shut. The second because she needed cabinet hinges. The third because she needed to stop for gas but there was a diversion on the road, sending her to another.
The rest of the team continued talking but when Spencer looked over to you, you seemed…off.
“Hey, I’m gonna go and get some coffee. You guys want some?”
“Sure, that’d be great.”
“Thanks.”
Spencer knew that look on your face a little too well. You needed space. Why, he didn’t know. But he also knew it was better not to follow you.
Except, he couldn’t help but wish he could turn back the clock and do exactly that.
An hour later, you still hadn’t returned.
After twenty five minutes, they figured maybe there was a long cue. After thirty five, they figured maybe they had been changing the coffee filter just as you got there.
When you didn’t pick up your phone after an hour…they got worried.
So, sending Derek and Spencer to the coffee shop to try and find you, Hotch, JJ, Rossi and Blake stayed behind in case it was just that they were changing the filter and there was a long cue and your phone had died.
Except, when Spencer and Derek returned half an hour later having searched up and down the block, in every cafe, coffee shop, convenience store and gas station, they all knew something was wrong.
“She’s not any of them. The cashier said she hadn’t even come in today.”
“That’s not good.”
From the screen, Garcia popped up.
“Guys, I’m getting a live feed. You’re gonna want to see this, though…I don’t know if you’ll want to.”
“What is it, Garcia?”
Garcia said nothing, but her face said it all. With a couple of clicks, the feed was up on the full screen and everyone in the police department was watching it.
“How long have you had this Garcia?”
“The alert came in only a few moments before I called you, but according to the chat room, it’s been prepared for a couple of hours, but went live about forty minutes ago. I think you should also know, I was invited to this.”
“Invited?” JJ asked.
“Believe me, I’ve had every corner that I know of, being monitored. But apparently this is a new one.”
Everyone looked a little closer to the screen, and eventually it got a little brighter. Most likely from a light on the further wall.
And everyone’s hearts sank.
It was you.
You had a gash on your head, most likely where the unsub had hit you across the head. From the look on your face as you move your body ever so slightly, it wasn’t the only place on you that was wounded.
The camera angles kept changing, offering a different view of the room, though there wasn’t much to see other than you, beaten and bloodied, zip tied and chained to a bolted down chair.
Then someone came into shot.
The unsub.
He approached you slowly, bringing with him a damp cloth, gently pressing it to your head.
“It’s okay. Take it easy.”
You forced your eyes open, but when you were met with the reality of who it was, your face turned into shock, fear, disgust and anger.
You jerked back, unable to move any further than you had tried before.
“Get the hell off me.”
“It’s okay, don’t be like that.”
The unsub spoke softly to you.
“Get away from me. Get off me.”
“You don’t have to be like this.”
Then you spotted the camera.
“You’re filming this?”
“I thought your friends might like to see it. See how safe you are.”
“Safe?!” both yourself and Spencer asked.
“Garcia, can you get a clear shot of the unsub?”
“No, sir. He hasn’t looked at the camera fully.”
“Then look into Y/l/n’s past. She knows him. Or, he knows her. Maybe they’ve crossed paths somewhere before.”
“Already on it, Sir.”
It would take a little longer for the team to realise your relationship to the unsub. And your connection to the victims.
“I told you you’re safe with me, you don’t have to worry any more.”
“You kidnap me and tell me not to worry?!”
“I can take care of you.”
“I can take care of myself.”
“Why take her though? Why follow her? It’s too risky.”
“Maybe it’s his endgame.” Spencer said out loud, the cogs turning over and over in his head. Then he moved towards the evidence board, rearranging things around where he’d written your name in a bubble.
He needed to keep moving, proving to himself he was alive. Or else he might break more than he ever had.
“How would you describe her?”
“Smart.” JJ began, following what Spencer was getting at.
“Hard working.”
“A stickler for routine. She’s fixed. Doesn’t often change what she likes.”
More comparisons came out and Spencer had proven his point.
“I’m wondering if he was her first victim. Or if she was his catalyst.”
Everyone turned back to the screen when they heard a loud strike.
“It WAS me!”
It took you a moment before you rolled your head back up and looked from the camera to him.
“It never was you, that was the whole point.”
“Only because you couldn’t see what I could offer you.” He pulled a chair harshly in front of you and sat down. The camera still had a clear shot of your face, but just the back of his head.
“I saw you, a few years ago. Who was he?”
“Who was who?”
“That-that-that guy! The one you think you wanted! The one you thought could offer you everything!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
Another strike across the face. Then he grabbed you.
“I saw how you looked at him. Like he was the whole world. Your whole world.”
“When even was-”
“Six years ago. I was coming out of a bar. Couple of buddies wanted me to go with them but I knew I had to find you. And I was stupid enough to think you’d be waiting for me. Instead, I found you with him. Standing outside your apartment. I didn’t wait around for the kiss.”
His name slipped from your mouth before you could stop yourself.
“So, you remember him? You remember him? You remember him…”
Of course you remember him. How could you not? You worked with him every single day.
The unsub was growing more emotional. From accusatory to confusion to a sadness of acceptance.
Then anger.
“You remember him!? And all he had to do was walk you home?!” The unsub laughed before pausing and kicking the chair over, sending it flying into a wall.
You jumped at his quickness and the loudness of the noises.
“Do you know how long I have been trying to get your attention?! How long I have spent trying to show you that you have feelings for me? You might deny it, but we both know it’s true. It has been since we first met. I know you didn’t know, but I saw it in your eyes, in that kindness you showed me when no one else did. You volunteered to be my partner, remember?”
“For the…the forest run?”
“You do remember.”
The unsub got down on his knees in front of you, clutching at your jacket.
“See, this just proves-”
“I volunteered because Sophia didn’t want to be left alone with you.”
“What?”
“I opted to take her place to make her feel safe.”
As you continued to explain, Hotch and Garcia tracked your phone numbers and social media posts until she found Sophia.
“So you don’t feel safe with me, but you’ll feel safe with Spencer?”
“Please, don’t bring him into this.”
“Why not?”
The unsub sat back. “Why not? Go ahead, tell me. This wouldn’t happen to be the same Doctor Spencer Reid, would it?”
You tried to deny it, but no words came from your mouth.
The unsub became deflated.
“And let me guess, you have feelings for him…you…you even…love him. Why do I not measure up? Because I don’t work for the FBI? Because I’m not a Doctor? What is it that makes him so much better that he earns your love?”
“Please, just-”
“It should be me! What can he give you that I can’t?”
Then he pushed the hair from your face and held it against your head, forcing you to look at him.
“I could have given you everything. I still can. Just tell them you’re safe, and I’ll make sure nothing ever happens to you, ever again.”
“Please, don’t-”
He turned to stand behind you, forcing you to look directly into the camera where the team could see the trails left behind through the blood on your cheeks, where your tears had flooded through them.
“TELL THEM!”
“Garcia, please tell me you have something.”
“Uh, maybe, I-I don’t know. I can’t be certain.”
“I’ll take what I can get, Garcia.”
“Well, I, uh-”
“Now, Garcia.” Spencer called out, his voice oddly even and a little cold.
“Sophia said his name was Toby-something. But I’ve looked through her files, her socials. There isn’t a single Toby, or Tobias or even Tobe.”
“Can you get a picture of him?”
“I’ve got a few, I’m running them through my database now.”
“What about Emily?” JJ asked. Everyone looked at her. “She grew up with Emily, right? Maybe she’ll know something.”
Spencer was already on the phone.
“Emily? Emily, listen to me. Was there anyone in Y/n’s past that she had trouble with? An ex boyfriend or something in college?”
“I- Reid, is everything okay?”
“Garcia will catch you up, but please. Was there anyone she talked about? Maybe a Toby-someone?”
Suddenly, Emily’s voice turned cold. “Reid, where is she?”
“Emily?”
“Back when she was in college, she was having trouble with a guy. Everyone called him Toby but his real name Jonathan. Toby was his middle name. He seemed fixated on her and one day, she found him in her apartment on campus. She called me and I got her out. After that, he seemed to disappear, but she always was weary.”
“Okay, send all the details you can to Garcia.”
“Already happening.”
All the team could do was wait and watch, hoping something would jump out at them to help find you.
“Do you love him?”
“I need to hear it from you. Do you love him?”
He picked up a weapon of some kind. A knife maybe.
“No, no, I can’t watch!” Garcia called out, turning her chair away.
A backhanded slap came across your face, the edge of the knife, cutting your cheek.
“Do. You. Love. Him?” Toby screamed louder.
Garcia squealed a little, hearing his arm movement. But just when she expected you to scream in pain, anyone who was listening heard what you said next.
“YES!” you screamed, fear of what was going to come next taking over. Maybe it would have been best to lie. But he wouldn’t have accepted it. And if he was going to kill you…
Toby faltered, looking down at you in heartbroken shock.
“Yes, yes. I do. I love him. Please…please don’t hurt me…I-”
Toby dropped the knife, the sound clattering on the floor, and he stepped back. Even from behind, they could all see the changes in his body movement.
From shock, heartbreak, to more shock to…anger.
And fear flashed across your face.
“No, no, no. Please. Toby- what-what are you doing?”
He was moving around the room, gathering things.
“Toby, please. Please don’t-”
Then the screen went dark.
“Garcia! Please tell me you have something!”
“Almost. Hold on. Wait.”
“We can’t-”
“The footage is still running. There’s no picture or sound, but it’s still running. Maybe if I can just- I’ve got her.”
“Garcia, send us the address.”
“Already done. Please bring her back safe.”
Toby had taken you forty minutes out of town, held up in a small town shed on a small plot of land he’d rented in cash, save for the electric bill that was in his name from a month earlier. Garcia couldn’t trace the address, but she could find the closest cell tower. And with a little cross reference, she found you.
All the team could do was hope you were still alive by the time they got to you.
It was agonising to listen to, but your screams let them know you were still alive. And when Morgan kicked down the door, Toby turned around you, holding your body against his front.
He’d changed you from being tied down in the chair to being strung up by your wrists. By the looks of it, however, you had managed to fight back, presumably in the small window of time you did have.
“Come any closer and I’ll kill her.”
“No you won’t, Toby.”
“Won’t I?!”
You whimpered a little as the blade pushed further into your skin.
“You love her, don’t you? Don’t you want to see her happy?”
“She IS happy. She’s happy with me.”
“Really, Toby? Because I wouldn’t say she looks happy. I’d say she looks scared. Terrified, even.”
“No, no, no she’s not.”
“Morgan…”
“She loves me! She has to love me!”
“But she doesn’t. And do you really think this is how she’s going to fall in love with you? By forcing her into it?”
Toby changed.
“Doctor Reid. Doctor Spencer Reid. This is him, isn’t it? This is the one that took you from me? Maybe once I’m done with you, maybe, maybe he’ll be next.”
“No…”
“Or you can choose me. Choose me and they don’t get hurt. Choose me and-”
You jumped at the sound.
A gunshot.
Everything went silent and then the knife clattered to the floor once more, soon followed by Toby’s body.
For a moment, you heard JJ’s voice coming from Derek’s wire, and then everything came back into a blurry focus.
“Is it over? Is-is he dead?”
Reid moved closer, checking his pulse before nodding to Morgan.
“It’s over.”
“Thank god, please get these off me.”
Spencer was closer, taking his pocket knife out before cutting your binds, allowing you to stand fully on the floor once more.
Your arms wrapped around Spencer both out of necessity, since your legs gave way for a moment, and out of need to hug someone, anyone, who wasn’t Toby.
In his arms, Spencer could feel your entire body shaking. So he simply held you tighter.
“Is-is it-are you sure it’s over?”
“It’s over. Let's get you out of here.”
Spencer helped you out of the shed before walking you over to the ambulance that was pulling up behind one of the SUVs.
“P-please don’t leave me.”
“I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got you.”
And he did.
Spencer stayed with you as they helped you into the ambulance and drove you to the hospital, he stayed with you as the doctors talked you through where they were taking you and what would happen and he was right there waiting for you, as you had asked, when you got out.
And when they finally found you a room, he stayed by your side, holding your hand.
Even hours later, you were still shaking with nerves and adrenaline.
“Have you called Emily?” you asked after a few hours of silence.
Spencer nodded. “She knows what happened. She’s also said she’s gonna catch the next flight out once they open the airports in London. Some storms closed the runways.”
You just nodded.
“Hey Spencer?”
Spencer hummed.
“I’m sorry.”
“What for?”
“For…for what happened. I-I don’t know how much you saw from the footage but Toby…I should have lied. I should have tried to keep your name-”
Spencer shot out of his seat and sat on your bed facing you, slowly taking the hand you used to squeeze your eyes shut from crying, into his.
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s-”
“It’s okay. All I care about is that you’re safe. Emily…she already knew. She… a couple months ago, she talked to me about it…because she figured that was how I felt about you.”
“Spence, no, you don’t have to-”
“We can talk about it more, when you’re better, but I just…I need you to know, you’re not alone. And I don’t want you to be sorry for what you said. Because, even though I’m sorry for how it had to happen, I’m not sorry about what was said.”
“You…you’re not?”
Spencer shook his head, looking down at your hands in his, his thumb tracing a constant pattern over your knuckles.
However, the familiar clicking of heels down the hall broke your intimate silence.
“We’ll talk about it?”
You nodded.
Garcia was calling out your name before she found your room and took a look at you.
“Oh, thank god.”
“Penelope,” you smiled.
And Spencer smiled, too. For the first time in the last week, let alone the last twenty four hours, you smiled. Genuinely smiled.
“I’m so sorry I couldn’t find you sooner. If I-”
“It’s okay. You still found me. I’m okay.”
“I’m never letting you out of my sight again. And Emily will be here soon so it won’t just be me, you’ll have both of us. Maybe we can live like the Golden Girls.”
You struggled to laugh, but laughed all the same. “I’d like that.”
“Good, because you don’t have a choice.”
“I’ll give you two some space to plan your move,” Spencer smiled.
You smiled softly back at him as he slowly walked out of the room, but not before Penelope called his name. “Bring her back some jello! Orange, if they have it!”
Spencer nodded, however he didn’t need telling why orange. It was your favourite.
“How do you know that’s my favourite?”
“Emily told me.”
You smiled. There had been a week back in middle school when all you could stomach was orange jello. You’d have thought that after being sick for a week, you’d never want to eat it again. But that never happened.
The doctors kept you in hospital for the next couple of days whilst the rest of the team helped finish the last couple of cases at the police department.
When you were finally cleared to fly, Hotch and Emily were the ones to help you with your things.
Hotch explained what would happen when you all got back to the Bureau and what would happen with yourself and your job.
“I know you’ll be itching to get back to work, but I want you to take some time off.”
“I will. I promise.”
By the time you got to the jet, you weren’t up in the air an hour before you excused yourself from Rossi’s story time to sit by the one person who brought you the most peace.
“Mind if I sit here?”
Spencer smiled and shook his head, making space for you beside him on the sofa.
“Do you want to sleep?”
“What are you reading?”
He showed you.
“Wizard of Oz.”
“Want me to read it to you? Studies have shown it helps with sleep.”
“I’d like that.”
Within twenty minutes, you were fast asleep against Spencer’s chest. He’s turned himself so you could lean against him and see the small pictures that had been drawn, as he read.
And thankfully, Rossi’s stories kept everyone distracted long enough for yourself and Spencer to not experience the embarrassment of getting caught in such a compromising position, considering you were both just meant to be friends.
A week later…
Yourself and Spencer had seen Emily off in the Airport, and after that, Spencer had driven you home. You’d stopped off for some chinese food on the way back, and even though you’d both had…half conversations about what you’d said in the hospital, neither of you had come right out and said, well, anything.
Until you stopped in your tracks, forcing Spencer to do the same.
“Is everything-”
“I feel I need to confess something.”
“Do you need a church or-”
“It’s not that kind of confession.” you turned to face Spencer fully.
In two weeks time, you’d be going back to work. And you couldn’t take another two weeks, plus additional ones of whatever the awkward…thing was between you both. Like you each knew each other's secret, but didn’t know its full whereabouts.
“I love you,” you told him, finally. “I know it seemed forced, but it was the truth nonetheless. I love you. I am in love with you and…I don’t know what to do about it. Because, first and foremost, you’re my friend. And no matter what, I don’t want to lose what we have. I love you, but most of all I like you. I like being around you. I like listening to you talk about different books and music and the fact that whales can produce sounds up to 188 decibels. I-”
“I love you, too.”
That forced you to stop. And Spencer could see your eyes searching for an explanation.
“I don’t know how it happened. All I know is that one day I just…breathed for the first time. That I saw you and knew that if I stopped, I might die.”
“Sounds a little dramatic.”
Spencer laughed a little. “I guess it does. But it’s true. I’m in love with you. And I like you, too.”
You smiled.
“You know, I had a crush on you for the longest time.”
“Really? How long?”
Part of it baffled Spencer that you had perhaps had feelings for him longer than he did you, but most of all it baffled him how he hadn’t noticed.
“For a while…”
With a smile, you felt yourself leaning into Spencer. And he felt himself do the same thing until finally your lips met his.
The kiss was gentle at first, but became a little more searing as his hand gently brushed the hair from your face to behind your ear, and pulled you a little closer.
And you both just stood there for a while, pressed against each other, allowing each kiss to let you both know it was, in fact, very real.
911 season 8 and Criminal minds season 18 spoilers under the cut guys
I AM FUMINGGGGGG
I HATE AMERICA CAUSE WHY TF DO THEY GET TIMED EXCLUSIVITY ON A SHOW THAT IS WATCHED RELIGIOUSLY WORLDWIDE AND WHY DO NONE OF THEM KNOW WHAT SPOILER WARNINGS ARE ???!!!!?!?!!?? (no offense if that doesn't apply 🙏)
THE CRIMINAL MINDS EPISODE CAME OUT YESTERDAY
WHY AM I ALR GETTING WARNINGLESS SPOILERS
I DIDNT NEED TO KNOW THAT WILL DIES IN JJS ARMS OF A RANDOM ANYEURISM ON HIS SONS BIRTHDAY AFTER ALL HE WENT THROUGH BEFORE A UK RELEASE DATE IS EVEN SET
I DIDNT NEED TO KNOW THAT BOBBY NASH FUCKING DIED AT ALL EVER ??!!!?!?!?!??!
SO BIG FAT FUCKING WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME WITHOUT EVEN GIVING ME A CHANCE TO AVOID IT
Reid *getting out of a car*: thanks! See you on Monday!!!
Aaron: WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN???
Rossi: WE THOUGHT SOMEONE KIDNAPPED YOU
Reid, *sipping an iced coffee*: oh, yes, that men kidnapped me.
Aaron: and you're gonna see him on Monday????
Reid: yes, because he's a therapist and he wanted to torture people changing their happiest childhood memory in a nightmare
Reid: but we spend like four hours trying to find a happy memory of my childhood (there's none) and he was actually very concerned about my mental health so we made a deal.
Reid: He does not kidnap anyone else and I go to therapy on Mondays. Everyone's happy except for me, therapy sucks.
