I just wanted to write something that hurts, lil angst w/ simon.
You didnāt ask him to stay. You never do.
But when Simon knocks on your door after midnight, rain clinging to his hoodie, shadows in his eyes, you step back and let him in without a word. He shrugs off his jacket. You donāt ask how his day was. He doesnāt ask how yours was either.
You need to forget. He needs to feel. Itās the rhythm youāve fallen intoāflesh and friction, no strings, no questions. Just bodies tangled in the dark, moving until the world fades to static.
And tonight, you need that more than ever.
You pull him in hard, mouth crashing to his, fingers already tugging his shirt over his head. He follows your lead, backing you toward the bedroom with heavy, purposeful steps like heās afraid youāll disappear if he lets go.
The moment your back hits the sheets, heās between your legs. Pants shoved down. Condoms found blindly. Your body opens for him like itās been waiting, like heās the only thing real in a week of fake smiles and empty hours.
He sinks into you in one long thrust.
You arch. He groans. And for a second, it works.
The burn, the stretch, the deep drag of his cock, it drowns the noise. The meetings. The phone calls. The pressure. The loneliness. He fucks you with something close to desperation, hands bruising on your hips, forehead pressed to your throat.
You moan. Claw at him. Buck up to meet every thrust.
āFuck,ā he pants. āTakinā me so good, sweetheart.ā
Your body shudders. It feels good. He feels good. But itās like somethingās knotted deep inside you, refusing to unwind. Every snap of his hips pushes against it, but doesnāt break it. And thenā It does.
Not with pain. Not even with pleasure. But with the heat of his hand sliding under your spine to pull you closer. With the sound of his breath in your ear. With the way he mutters your name like it means something.
Thatās when it happens.
Your eyes blur. Your chest tightens. And before you can stop it, a tear slides down your temple. He notices.
He freezes, just slightly.
His voice is low. Confused. Like heās not sure if heās hurt you or if the world has. You donāt answer. You canāt. You turn your face into the pillow, jaw trembling, tears streaking silently down your cheek. Simon exhalesāslow, deliberate. His rhythm doesnāt stop. But it changes.
He fucks you slower. Deeper. Like heās not trying to get you off anymore. Like heās trying to reach something buried in you, something fragile, something breaking.
The tears come harder now. But you donāt stop him. You cling. One hand grips the back of his neck. The other fists the sheet like itās the only thing anchoring you. You sobāquiet, shaking, cracked open beneath him.
He fucks you through it. Not cruel. Not selfish. He gives it to you. Gives you everything.
And when you finally come, it tears out of you like grief. Your body spasms. Your mouth falls open. You sob into his shoulder as your orgasm crashes over you. Raw, desperate, holy.
Simon doesnāt move for a long moment. Then, slowly, he withdraws, breath ragged. You think he might leave. Or say something. But he doesnāt. He gathers you into his chest. Blanket. Arm under your knees. His shirt between your tears and the pillow. One hand stroking your hair with a gentleness that undoes you more than the sex ever could.
Just his heartbeat. Steady. Solid. And the silenceāthe real kind. Not the emptiness youāve been drowning in. The kind that says Iām here. Iāve got you. Fall apart if you need to.