Me, in my head: *gasp* I can't believe it... They're in love with me. I know I'm sexy, but it's really love at first sight for them. Unless this isn't their first sight! They've been stalking me for months! They're the one climbing around in my walls! Are they a murderer? A lizard? My soulmate? Oh, no, I'm talking to a ghost... Maybe they're the one who put the camera in my head...? Anyway, I forgot their name already.
to find promise of peace (and the solace of rest): a TMA fanfic
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Chapter 9: June 2016
Jon surfaced slowly from sleep, somewhat disorientated. It was darker than he was used to—even with his curtains drawn, there was usually some ambient light getting in—and the bed didn’t feel right. The blankets didn’t quite smell right, either. Not unpleasant, in fact rather comforting, but just…not right. He shifted to turn over and heard a sharp creak that made him freeze for a moment.
Suddenly, he remembered. He was in the Archives. He’d been badly affected by Jane Prentiss’ statement, heaven only knew why, and needed to lie down for a few. It had still been a bit before the usual end of the day, so Martin had ushered him into the storage room and assured him—oh, God, Martin.
Jon fumbled for his phone and held the screen close to his face. It was late—not just past closing time, but well and truly into the night. A snatch for his glasses confirmed that it was half-eleven, and a quick scan of the room revealed no Martin. Which meant he had probably tried to find somewhere else to sleep so as not to disturb Jon.
Guilt gnawed at him. He’d been staying later and later, but he didn’t usually sleep when he did, or if he did he usually passed out at his desk. Since he’d given Martin the cot and let him start staying in the Archives, Jon hadn’t touched it. And yet, here he was, lying down on it late enough that Martin was either trying to sleep somewhere else…or not sleeping at all.
Or worse. Panic replaced guilt as it occurred to Jon that something could have happened, that Martin wasn’t in here because the worms had got him and Jon had slept through it. He’d like to think he wouldn’t have, but he’d been so worn out…
He all but fell out of the cot, scrambled to his feet, and slid into his shoes before moving as quickly and quietly as he could out the door.
The Archives were dark and silent…or nearly silent. Jon was about to call out for Martin when he froze, straining to hear a sound. It was a voice—a gentle, warm, plaintive voice, singing something about the souls of the dead and remembering the fallen, the notes seeming to wrap around the shelves like a caress.
Jon knew that voice. He’d heard it before, nights he’d stayed late tucked in a corner of the library finishing his research and later on nights when he’d sneaked back in to listen for it. Tim, who’d heard it too, had always sworn the library was haunted by the ghost of a fisherman; Jon wasn’t sure how much he believed that, but he’d come to think of the voice as the Library Ghost anyway. For some reason, it always made him feel…safe. Comforted. He’d tried slipping up to the library a couple of times since becoming the Head Archivist, in the hopes that the voice would ease the knot of tension and stress he carried almost constantly these days, but there’d been nothing. It was like the ghost was gone.
And yet, here it was. In the Archives. Singing a song Jon didn’t know but felt soothed by.
He stood where he was until the last note faded away, then moved cautiously into the Archives proper. Somehow, he’d never noticed just how dark it got. It was strange that he wasn’t as jumpy or twitchy as usual, but that was the effect the Library Ghost had always had on him. It meant more than comfort—it meant security, safety. If the ghost was singing in the Archives, it must mean everything was okay. For now, anyway. Jon clicked on his torch and went looking.
It didn’t take him long to find Martin. He was sitting up against the little cluster of desks where the assistants sat, his back pressed against it and his knees drawn up to his chest, facing the dark, ominous rows of shelving. His eyes were closed, and even with the light of the torch, Jon could see the tracks of tears streaking down his cheeks. Something twisted in Jon’s chest. He didn’t know if Martin was upset or scared or if the ghost didn’t give him the same feelings of safety it did Jon, but whatever it was, he was faced with a deep and abiding urge to fix it, to make things better. Which, honestly, scared him worse than almost anything he’d dealt with in his life.
His instinct was to be brusque and snappy about it, but he stopped himself. Instead, he simply came closer and said quietly, “Martin?”
If he was honest, he’d expected Martin to jump, to hit his head, and to stammer. He was not prepared for the quiet, subdued, “Hey, Jon.”
Jon angled the torch away from them, but pointed at the ground—he didn’t want to look at the shelves—and slid awkwardly to the floor next to Martin. “Are you all right?”
“Fine.” Martin scrubbed at his eyes with the back of his hand quickly. “Sorry if I woke you up, I—”
“No, no, you’re fine,” Jon assured him quickly. “I was simply…done sleeping, I suppose. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to take your cot.”
“It’s your cot,” Martin pointed out.
“Technically I think it’s Archives property. I was just using it. Anyway, I told you to sleep on it, and here I was lying down on it well into the night.”
“It’s fine. Not like I was sleeping anyway.” Martin glanced at him sideways, then looked away. “Feeling better?”
Jon considered the question from all angles. “Somewhat. Although that’s possibly less to do with the…er, nap…and more to do with the ghost.”
This time the sideways glance lasted longer. “The what?”
“Oh, come on, you must have heard it just now,” Jon said, gesturing towards the shelves. “The singing. It’s…actually, you worked in the library before you came down here, you must have heard it there after hours. A clear, pure voice singing sea shanties and that sort of thing. Tim claims it’s a fisherman of some kind, but I seriously doubt that. What would the ghost of a fisherman be doing in the Institute library?” He pondered for a moment. “Unless it came in attached to one of the books. Rare, I suppose, but it could happen. Perhaps a book the person was particularly fond of in life, or one that had some sort of significance to him. Not a Leitner, certainly, as I’m fairly sure those are destroyed as soon as they’re found, but…” He trailed off, realizing he’d been rambling, and cleared his throat to stop himself from apologizing. “Anyway, I don’t think Tim has ever actually seen this ‘ghost,’ let alone spoken to it, so it could be of anyone. But surely you must know it. It—I haven’t heard it up there since I took the Head Archivist position, but just now, when I came out to make sure you were all right…” He gestured vaguely with the hand not holding the torch.
Martin was quiet for a few breaths. Finally, he said, “How often did you…hear it?”
“Quite often. I—when I was first working for the Institute, I’d get caught up in my research and forget the time, so I’d often have to hurry out. Later I went back on purpose to listen,” Jon admitted, feeling his cheeks heat up. “It’s…comforting, somehow. A bit odd to say, maybe, given the topics of some of the songs, but there’s something about that voice that always makes me feel safe.” He paused, but when Martin didn’t respond, he found himself continuing. “I was worrying about you, actually. When I first—you weren’t back there and I saw how late it was and, well, at first I was upset with myself for taking your bed, and then I started worrying that something had happened to you and I’d slept through it. But I came out and I heard my—the ghost singing, and I-I knew, somehow, that it meant everything was all right. Not the least because it was here instead of in the library, so—well, I suppose that’s proof it’s not tied to one of the books.” He glanced sideways at Martin and tried for a teasing Tim-style smile. “Maybe it followed you.”
Martin let out a soft laugh that…didn’t sound particularly amused, but wasn’t particularly bitter either. “It didn’t follow me, Jon. It is me. I mean—” He sighed. “There was never a ghost in the library. That was me. I usually got stuck shelving the books at the end of the day, so I was always the last one to leave, and…I didn’t mind, really, because I had some time on my own without people…dogging my steps or criticizing everything I did or finding a thousand unreasonable tasks for me to do on top of what I was already doing. But I’d sing shanties while I worked.”
Jon turned fully to face Martin, astonished. Martin wasn’t looking at him, was staring straight ahead into the darkness, and Jon couldn’t have said if he was lost in thought or avoiding Jon’s eye. “That was you? I—I had no idea you sang.”
“Yeah, well…” Martin shrugged one shoulder. “Not exactly something useful to what we do, is it? And I-I don’t do it so often these days.”
“Not everything needs to have a purpose, Martin.” Jon almost pressed his shoulder to Martin’s, but stopped himself just in time. “So what was that you were singing a moment ago? I don’t think I know that one.”
“Um, it’s called ‘Bones in the Ocean.’ Not really a proper shanty, per se, it was written by a band a couple years ago, but it sort of fits.” Martin paused. “I don’t know why I was singing it just now.”
“There could be any number of reasons,” Jon said. “Perhaps it was just stuck in your head.”
“Yeah, but…” Martin shook his head. “Never mind.”
They sat in silence for a while. Jon was surprised at how…comfortable it felt. It wasn’t just that he knew Martin was the “ghost” (he wondered what Tim would have to say when he found out)—it was also that, well, it was Martin. They’d spent a decent amount of time together since Martin had moved into the Archives, and they’d built up something of a working relationship. Jon might even venture to call them friends, the line between boss and underling being significantly blurred down here. Martin had come to mean comfort in a lot of ways, and this just seemed like a natural continuation of that.
When he thought about it that way, Martin being the ghost made perfect sense.
Jon wondered if they were good enough friends that Martin would give him an honest answer if he asked what was bothering him. He’d been…off in the last month or so, ever since Melanie King’s visit, and Jon wondered if there was a connection. Before he could speak up, though, Martin broke the silence. “Did you have a favorite song? That the, ah, ‘ghost’ sang?”
Jon couldn’t help but smile at the slightly teasing note in Martin’s voice. “Now that you mention it, yes. There’s one…I-I’m afraid I don’t know what it’s called, but it’s got a chorus in another language. The verses are something about…someone waiting for a lover to return?”
“Oh, ‘The Boatman,’ sure.” Martin took a deep breath and began to sing.
It was in fact the song Jon was thinking of, and the voice captivated him just like it always did. Somehow, knowing that it was Martin singing made it…better. Jon couldn’t explain it. Nor could he explain why he found himself closing his eyes and leaning against Martin’s shoulder.
Wow this was a blast! Castlevania is such a fun show & I adored writing for it! Trevor & Alucard are besties, you can’t change my mind. This is a hefty fic at just over 8k words.
Warnings: You know Trevor be saying fuck. A lot. So there’s a good bit of swearing & heavy mentions of ghosts & like, Treffy’s dead family. So if that’s not for you, you can skip those parts if you’d like. Now I present to you, this fic!
Trevor never thought his heart could ache this much. Once happy memories were now clouded with smoke and screams. He usually tried not to dwell on the fact that he was the last surviving Belmont, but that had never been more apparent than it was now. Sifting through the library in the runes of his old home. How many of them had there been? So many he couldn't remember all their names, and now he truly had no one. Well, not exactly.
He cast a glance towards Sypha and Alucard, reading through one of the many books and giggling to each other.
Trevor sighed. This place used to be full of laughter and games. There were enough hiding places he could play hide and seek with his cousins for hours, and never reuse the same spot. Sometimes, he swears he can see them out of the corner of his eye, peaking out from behind various bookshelves. Or perhaps he only wished he sees them, but if ever there were a haunted house, it would be this one.
"Why is it that you constantly have that pitifully constipated look on your face?" Alucard asked smugly. Trevor sneered.
"Because I've been pumped full of your bullshit these past few days," he snapped back, making Sypha giggle. Usually he would smile at the small victory.
They went back to scanning the shelves and side rooms, sometimes splitting up or pairing off to cover more ground. Unfortunately, he was with Alucard at the moment.
"You've been insufferably moody as of late," he noted. Trevor rolled his eyes.
"Gee I fucking wonder why." And then the bastard had the gall to prop his elbow on his shoulder.
"Well, I guess a fate like this is to be expected for a family of monster hunters." That made him stop in his tracks, balling his hands into fists at his side.
"What did you just say?"
"Oh please, I know your ears work fine, don't make me repeat myself," Alucard said with a slight smirk. Seeing all those vampire skulls on display really ticked him off, and what good will he had towards the Belmont had been diminished significantly, at least for the time being.
Trevor's eye twitched. "I ought to knock you right on that flat ass of yours, but we have more important things to do," he growled, turning his back to him. He scanned the books in front of him, mumbling the titles under his breath to calm himself.
"Then why don't you?" he asked, voice almost a purr.
Because I can't find it in me to care. Because it's not worth the effort, he thought. "I just fucking told you if you'd listen to a damn thing I say." Sypha listened from one shelf over with a small frown on her face.
"Oh come on Trevor, you love a good fight," he said. It was true, and the fact he gave up so easily and wouldn't fall for his goading concerned him. Through he wouldn't voice it aloud.
"Knock it off Alucard, I'm not in the mood," he said, annoyance clear in his voice. Okay, that was really concerning. Still, the vampire continued to prod him.
"Really? You won't fight me?" When Trevor shook his head, he smirked, fangs peaking out just barely. "Not even if I... wiped a booger on you?" he teased, jokingly reaching for his nose. Trevor's face scrunched in disgust and he snatched the other man's wrist in a death grip.
"Do that and I fucking snap your neck like a toothpick," he sneered, really not in the mood for his games.
Sypha called from the next row over, "There will be no neck snapping!" The two men froze, staring at each other for a moment before Alucard fell into soft snickers, and even Sypha's quiet giggles could be heard. But Trevor only rolled his eyes with a half smile.
~~~~
It was the next day, but to Trevor it felt just the same. He was listening to Sypha explain what the symbols on the page meant and their significance, but he couldn't focus. He stared at an empty doorway where his older cousin had been just a moment before. He came back to reality when he felt a sharp elbow in his ribs. He let out a small oof and rubbed the spot.
"Are you even listening?" she asked. He nodded with a grunt of affirmation. She placed her hands on her hips and cocked a brow, but at least she had an amused smirk on her face. "Then tell me what I just said."
He sighed, holding his hands up in surrender. "Okay you got me. I was daydreaming." Alucard was leaning against a bookshelf and snorted.
"With the shape this place is in I'm surprised they're not nightmares." Trevor focused his gaze on the yellowed pages full of symbols he was never taught.
Sypha gasped and scolded him. "Alucard! Be nice!"
He shrugged and closed his eyes. "What? I was merely stating my opinion," he said. Trevor pushed himself away from the podium he'd been hunched over.
"How 'bout you guys keep cracking that one, and I'll see what I can find on the other side of the library, hm?" He didn't wait for an answer before walking away, shoulder checking Alucard on his way by.
Sypha sighed as she watched him leave. She waited for Trevor to get far enough away to scold her friend.
"Would it kill you to be a little nicer to him?" she asked, folding her arms across her chest.
"Probably not. But that doesn't mean I will," he said managing to sound both nonchalant and superior. Her brows knit together and a small growl escaped her.
"Can't you see how hard this is for him? You're only making this worse," she said flipping a page.
"Can't you see how hard this is for me?" Alucard threw the question back at her. That made her pause for thought and she stared at him, ready to listen. "You saw all those fucking vampire skulls! They were on display like some kind of trophy. There's no telling how many of my people his family slaughtered. So excuse me for not treating him kindly."
Sypha had to admit he had a point. Still, she knew this wasn't right, and his anger was misplaced. She rest a gentle hand on his shoulder.
"You have every right to be angry, but don't take it out on him. He was only a child when he lived in this place. Trevor wasn't the one who put those skulls there," she spoke softly. Alucard sighed.
"I know, but I also know he's killed his fair share. He tried to kill me when we first met, remember?" he asked, turning his head to look at her.
"True, but he didn't know whether or not you could be trusted. I suppose for someone like him, his survival depends on being cautious. Try to look at it from his perspective. It is undeniable that vampires have to kill people to survive. His family was only trying to protect their own, which is what we're trying to do now."
Alucard gave a displeased hum and wouldn't look her in the eye. "I suppose you're right," he admitted.
"Of course I am " she boasted. "Please be nicer to him. He has no one left but himself and us. He used to have a family, and a life that wasn't shit, and yet he lost all of that." She placed the book she'd been reading on the table and reached for another one on the shelf. "He's sad and moody enough as it is, he doesn't need your help.
"That's an understatement. I don't know if I've ever seen the man genuinely smile. It's always fake or snide," he remarked, flicking his wrist to articulate his point.
"Exactly, which is why you're going to apologize and be nicer to him." He groaned like a child who'd just been told to go to bed.
"Do I really have to?" he asked.
"You shouldn't even be asking that. In my opinion, you should want to say you're sorry because he's our friend. I know both of you try to deny it, but you find each other amusing." Alucard hated when she was always right.
"Fine, but I'll hate every second of it," he teased with a smirk. She giggled, shaking her head fondly.
"Oh hush. Just go find him, I think he could seriously use some cheering up. He hasn't been the same since we got here."
"Hm, I agree. Very well, I'll track him down and see if he can pull out the stick that's been wedged up his ass for the past decade."
Trevor just needed out. This was all too boring and stuffy and he couldn't deal with all the thoughts in his head. He could swear he heard once familiar voices, but he'd forgotten most of their names by now, and it sent chills down his spine. He could just barely make out Sypha and Alucard's conversation and knew they were talking about him. The air in the library was musty and his lungs craved fresh air. He slipped silently out of the library, knowing exactly where to go.
It didn't take him long to reach his tree. He took in a deep breath and heaved a sigh of relief as he touched the bark.
"Damn I've missed you," he said already starting to climb up its branches. He chose a middle limb, his legs straddling it as he laid forward. He was almost hugging the tree with one arm cushioning his cheek and the other dangling over the side. He looked akin to a large jungle cat resting on a lazy day.
"Ugh, you wouldn't believe all the shit I've been through since I last saw you. I mean, I know I'm not the greatest person but I like to believe most of it is totally unjustified! I mean, I'm still decent enough and yet I can never catch a fucking break," he huffed, ending his rant. He closed his eyes and chuckled, shaking his head. "Oh man, I must be fucking bonkers talking to a tree."
"I'd say so," Alucard said, stepping out from behind the base of the tree. Trevor jumped, quickly turning his head away from him to hide his quickly growing blush.
"Oh great, how long have you been standing there?" he asked in annoyance. Alucard wore an amused grin, walking into his line of sight once more.
"So, do you normally talk to trees? Or just this one? I know you said this one was... special," he said, looking at the tree curiously.
Trevor was touched that he'd even remembered him mention that. "Uh, no this isn't something I normally do," he sassed.
"I'm sorry if I've upset you, you know," he said, not meeting his gaze. Trevor smiled a little at the apology. "Do you mean that or did Sypha put you up to this?" he asked with condescension.
"She did tell me I should apologize but I acknowledge I may have stepped out of line," he said, owning up to his behavior.
"It's alright. I'm honestly shocked you admitted to it. I can respect that." He moved to sit up, swinging one leg over so they were hanging off the same side. "Why not join me?" he invited, waving a hand to motion him to come up. Alucard climbed the branches until he perched next to him.
Both men were quiet, not sure what to say. It was Trever who spoke first. "So... I know you two were talking about me. Might as well tell me what you said."
Alucard figured he would bring this up. "She said I needed to consider how hard this is for you. And you haven't exactly been yourself since we've arrived," he saw no reason to lie.
"Bullshit, I have not," he denied. Secretly he knew it to be true, it just ticked him off that they both noticed.
"Oh please, even you know that's a lie," he teased, nudging him with his elbow. Trevor's lips twitched in a fleeting smile.
"Maybe, what's it to you?" he asked arching a brow. Alucard scoffed, "Believe it or not but I don't enjoy seeing you so down." He placed a gentle hand on his upper arm, offering a comforting squeeze. He didn't expect him to gasp and giggle, masking it as a cough. Trevor tried to remain completely still. He avoided looking at him.
The vampire wore a shit eating grin and gave another squeeze. He flinched and tugged on his arm, and his lips quirked up in a nervous smile.
"Trevor Belmont," he started, eyes bright with mischief. His voice absolutely dripped with wicked amusement.
He scooted away on the branch. "Alucard," he said in warning. A warning which he did not heed.
"You wouldn't happen to be ticklish would you?" he questioned. Trever shook his head and spoke firmly.
"No, I grew out of it," he said. He kept a careful eye on his hands.
"Oh really? It would seem you haven't," he teased, squeezing his bicep rapidly. Trevor bit his lip as his face scrunched up to keep the giggles at bay. It was an adorable sight.
"D-don't," he grunted out, squeaking in surprise when he felt fingers skitter on the other side of his neck. He scrunched his neck as giggles filled the air, much to his embarrassment.
"Be still my half beating heart," he teased, fluttering his fingers just below his jawline. He slammed his chin to his chest as his laughter deepened.
"You bahahastard dohon't you dahahare!" he scolded. He snorted loudly when Alucard dug his fingers under his arms.
"And why should I?" he asked smugly.
"Because if you keep it up, you'll make me fall out of the tree, down every single branch and break my legs or arms or something," he retorted dryly. Alucard raised both his eyebrows.
"Wow, down every branch?" he asked incredulously. Trevor smirked nervously, but with a bit of his usual sarcastic demeanor.
"Yeah, I just know I'd hit every fucking one so don't even try it," he warned, pointing a finger in his face.
"Your flare for the dramatics never fails to amuse me," he chuckled, but left him alone. Trevor was almost disappointed.
"Right, well, uh, good," he said, sounding confused. Alucard stored the information away to be used later. He'd take full advantage of this new fact when they weren't at risk of falling out of a tree. Meanwhile Trevor was wondering why Alucard listened to his flimsy threat and half baked excuse.
~~~~
The Belmont actually felt a little better after that, if only for a short while. Two days later, the paranoia and lack of sleep was starting to really take its toll. He won't sleep by himself in the library, and he's always the last one to settle down. The fleeting shadows are more prominent at night, and whispers fill the air around him. So when he finally tired of scouring the shelves of books, he'd join Sypha and slowly fall asleep glued to her side.
His circles were more prominent, and Alucard noted how jumpy he was. How... distracted he'd become. He thought that he'd started feeling better after having a nice talk in his tree. He'd certainly been in a better mood for the rest of the afternoon and evening, as well as the following day. But it was clear that something was still bothering him.
He sat hunched over at a table reading some book. Alucard was keeping an eye on him. He'd been acting strange, flinching and looking around as though he'd been touched. Little did he know, he had been. When Trevor hummed and looked over his shoulder expecting to see someone, he froze upon finding he was alone, and an unsettled look overtook his features as he hunched closer to the book he was reading.
"Is everything alright?" he walked up to him and asked. Trevor heaved a sigh.
"You wouldn't understand," he mumbled, eyes trained on the page in front of him.
"Maybe, but I might surprise you. Go on, try me," he spoke gently. Trevor studied him, deciding if he should be honest or not.
"Do you ever... see things?" he asked tentatively. Alucard smirked.
"I see things all the time. Constantly in fact," he teased. Trevor snorted and rolled his eyes. "It's a little thing called sight."
"Shut up, you know that's not what I meant. If I wanted the word of a wisecracking smart ass, I'd talk to myself," he sassed back. Alucard held his hands up in surrender.
"Relax, I was only joking. You do remember what that is, don't you?" he teased.
"Of course I do. What the fuck is that supposed to even mean? Do I remember," he mocked the last bit, mostly just to complain to himself. Alucard had come this far, he might as well be upfront about it.
"You just haven't been yourself lately. Just wanted to check and make sure you still know how to crack a joke or smile."
Maybe it was the fact he didn't like his friends to worry, or he didn't like how well they could read him. It could've been all the emotions swirling through his mind like a twister that made him snap. Or perhaps he couldn't take the quick glimpse of another dead relative, or a distant call of his name. He shot up from his chair, making a loud scooting noise on the stone and almost tipping it over.
"Of course I can! I just- I've been dealing with a lot of shit- more than you or Sypha could care to know-so excuse me if I don't feel like my normal self," he snarked defensively. Alucard looked slightly taken aback by the outburst, and Trever felt a little guilty. He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.
"Sorry for going off like that. Y-you didn't deserve it, you were just trying to check up on me." He turned to leave, looking back over his shoulder. "Just... don't worry about me. I'll be back to my old self as soon as we leave."
"It's alright. Trevor!" he called after him, but he was already walking out of the library. Once he was gone, Sypha walked up to him.
"What was that about?" she asked, propping her hands on her hips. Alucard shrugged, shaking his head.
"I don't know, but he's clearly upset. I'll give him some time, then I'll go talk to him," he said, taking up reading the abandoned book.
"I don't think this house is empty," Sypha spoke.
"Hm?" he hummed, looking up curiously.
"I don't know, I just can sense it. There's a lot of energy here. It's... sad and overwhelming at times. It's definitely taken its toll on him," she reasoned.
"He asked if I saw things," he said, starting to piece things together.
Sypha nodded. "I've noticed him staring off into space a few times. He's probably seeing people..." she trailed off as the full meaning of her words settled in her mind. He was probably seeing his dead family. She shivered. "No wonder he's been so, so off," she said, hugging herself slightly. "I've seen a few shadows out of the corner of my eye, but I'm used to that by now. It's been worse for him."
They were both silent, and Sypha went back to do her own browsing. Alucard spoke to the empty air around him.
"I... don't know if anyone's there, but could you cut Trevor a break? He sees you, alright? But it's time to leave him the fuck alone. Okay?" He didn't know if it would work, or if there was even anyone to hear. But he felt obligated to at least try.
Trevor stormed out of the library and through the crumbling, vacant halls of his childhood home. The longer he walked, he slowly began to calm down. He trailed a hand over the worn brick of the wall as he walked. He sighed, throwing his head back to watch the ceiling. He didn't even realize he'd been heading towards his old room until he stood in front of a familiar door. He let out a small huff of disbelief.
The door was cracked down the middle, the wood growing soft from decay. He pushed it open gently, staring into his childhood bedroom. It remained untouched since the night he'd left, save for the thick layer of dust that covered everything. He swore it was an inch thick. The ceiling had a hole in it, a pile of rubble underneath it. He stepped over it, tracing the pattern carved into his old dresser. His fingers came away covered in dust that he wiped on his shirt.
His feet carried him over to the bed and he sat down heavily. Particles flew up in a cloud that nearly made him choke. He waved a hand in the air to clear it as he coughed, freezing as he spotted his old stuffed cat in the corner of his room. He leaned down in awe, picking it up and held it out in front of him.
"Hello again. Never thought I'd see you after everything. I would've taken you with me had I had the time," he spoke to the stuffed animal, petting its head with a soft smile. It was his favorite toy as a child. He'd often carry it around the house, even sitting it in his lap for meal times.
He'd been so young when he left, he could've used the company. Even if it was just a lifeless toy. But for a child who'd just lost everything, the absence of his biggest comfort had taken a huge toll on him. He'd grown a lot since then, but in a way, he was still that same little boy. He hugged the cat to his chest, laying down on his bed.
Charlie. The cat's name was Charlie, he remembered and a choked sob escaped him.
He was relieved. He was sad. Scared. Nostalgic. Angry. Oddly happy. He felt everything and nothing all at once. He was just numb. Right now, numbness was welcomed.
He laid there for who knows how long just curled on his side hugging his old stuffed cat to his chest. He wasn't even thinking about anything; he just stared at a large crack in the wall and stroked the matted fake fur. Alucard found him like this.
"I assume this used to be your room?" he asked, stepping in without knocking. Trevor sighed and rolled away from him.
"Why can't you just let me wallow in misery for a little bit?" he asked, only half joking.
"I did. But Sypha and I both agree that two hours is long enough."
Had it really been that long? He'd lost track of time. He stiffened when Alucard sat down next to him, resting a comforting hand atop his thigh.
"I know this hasn't been easy for you. And I know you probably don't think so, but you've handled it quite well."
Trevor looked at him with a harsh glare. "You don't have to lie to my face. The last thing I need is you patronizing me."
"I'm not lying and I'm not patronizing. I'm being completely honest." The Belmont slowly rolled onto his back to look at him easier.
"How can you even say that? I've been a complete and utter mess," he said, throwing a hand in the air. He let it hover their for a moment before letting his arm go slack, the back of his hand colliding with his cheek. Alucard couldn't help but offer a soft smile.
"Maybe so, but I can't blame you. Neither of us judge you for it. However, I didn't come up here to talk about your behavior these past few days."
"You didn't?" he asked arching a brow. His voice was full of skepticism.
"Well, technically not. I just- I think you could use a friend right now," he admits.
"And you think you fit the bill?" Trevor teased, the first hint of a smile finally appearing. He propped up on his elbows, still laying down. Alucard chuckled and playfully shoved him back down by his face.
"All things considered, yes I do. And I, as your friend, have decided you need some cheering up," he declared.
"You mean you and Sypha," he said smugly. He decided to ignore the fact he just called him his friend, for now at least.
He let out a frustrated huff. "Yes, whatever; Sypha and I. That doesn't change the fact that you've been incredibly miserable."
"Wow, thanks for noticing," he snarked.
"And not only does it hurt us to see you like this, we also know it's not safe. Trust me, fighting while in this state puts you in grave danger," he said earnestly.
Ah, so this is what he was getting at. Trevor sat back up, making a show of stretching as he stood. "Thanks for the concern, but I'll have you know I've fought in much worse states of mind and won. Now if you could fuck off and let me sulk, I would greatly appreciate it," he said, ending his speech by the door. He motioned for him to leave.
Alucard was amused, if frustrated. "I'm sorry, but I won't let that happen." Trevor waited a moment for him to change his mind, and when he didn't, sighed and flopped face down on the bed. Another cloud of dust rose in the air, causing the other man to cough. He smirked victoriously as he continued hacking.
"Oo that's a nasty cough. Perhaps you should go downstairs and get a drink, hm?" He rolled back over to showcase the shit eating grin on his face.
"Okay, so you're really leaving me no choice," Alucard mused. He was a fairly decent actor, pretending as though he wasn't dying to do this. Hadn't been waiting for the perfect moment ever since going to the tree.
He gave him a quizzical look as he watched him crack his knuckles. "Hate to break it to ya, but I'm afraid pummeling me won't brighten the mood," he quipped, fairly proud of that one. Though he started to grow nervous when that only made him grin wider.
"Trust me, I have no intention of hurting you." When he tried to sit up once more, he was thrown back on the mattress. Alucard quickly straddled his legs, and a faint blush appeared on his cheeks.
"Hey what the hell?" He tried to fight him off, but with a flick of the vampire's wrist, he found his arms were pinned above his head. He had a vague idea of where this was going. "Using your powers is totally cheating," he grumbled.
"Cool, I wasn't playing by the rules anyway," he smirked, and the teasing note to his voice made Trevor squirm. He bit his lip to keep his smile at bay. "Hold still, this might tickle." The bastard fucking winked at him.
He opened his mouth to protest the same time hands connected with his sides. His back arched and he barked out a laugh. This only encouraged Alucard to squeeze up his sides, and deep chuckles filled the air. "Dohohon't you bahahastard!" he laughed.
"Oh? And why shouldn't I?" he asked, smug as ever. Trevor struggled beneath him, fighting off a smile all the while.
"B-because I fucking say so!" he said, stuttering as he tried to find a decent excuse. Alucard clicked his tongue.
"I'm afraid that justification sucks," he said plainly. And just because Trevor is known for digging his own grave, he said, "Yeah well, you suck. Both figuratively and literally." There was a hint of a proud smirk on his lips. And Alucard was set on removing that smugness from his smile.
But first, he wanted to toy with him. "You either have no self preservation or you're very eager for what I'm about to do," he teased. His cheeks started to turn red and his escape attempts increased, grunting in frustration as the magic held strong.
"What the hell are you talking about? Do you even know me: of course I don't have self preservation!" he snapped, arms straining to lower themselves.
"Hm, a bit of both then," he decided, watching the color in his cheeks darken even more. He was about to protest but was cut off. "I shouldn't keep you waiting then."
"So help me Alucard when you let me go I'll- mph!" He clamped his mouth shut in order to contain the embarrassing giggles that wanted to escape. He wore a wobbly smile on his face.
He pouted when he didn't immediately burst into laughter again. "You'll what? Throw me against a wall? Punch me?" he asked, walking his fingers up his ribs. He grunted and squirmed back and forth, trying to dislodge his fingers. "Or perhaps you think you can get revenge," he continued to taunt.
Trevor glared at him, or at least he tried. He nodded, exhaling harshly through his nose as he felt him dig between his ribs. His chest shook with suppressed laughter.
"It's cute how you're trying to act tough, even though you've already cracked. Just laugh, you'll feel better. I'm doing this for your benefit," he said calmly. Trevor hated how he still maintained his composure while tickling him. But his normally stoic expression was replaced with fondness and a teasing smile. For some reason, it embarrassed him that much more.
"Nohoho you're nohohot!" he said, unable to hold his tongue (or laughter) any longer, feeling the need to back talk.
"Finally," he huffed as he began laughing freely. He made his way up his rib cage before reaching his armpits, scratching his long nails over the fabric of his shirt. Trevor's body jolted as a rather loud snort escaped.
"I knew you were a snorter. You just... have that look about you," he teased. Trevor's face got even redder, if you could believe it.
"Whahahat the fuhuhuck is thahat supposed tohoho mehehean?" he snapped defensively, but the bellowing laughter negated any malice that might've been in his words.
Alucard shrugged as he continued to scratch against his exposed hollows. "It means you have a hilariously cute snorty laugh." When he drilled his thumbs in the center of his pits, he snorted once more. Much to Trevor's dismay.
"Shuhuhut thehe hehehehell uhup!" he screeched, hiding his face behind his trapped arm. Alucard gave an evil grin and skittered his nails along his unprotected neck. The deep, frantic chuckles made way for higher pitched giggles. Or rather, high pitched for Trevor Belmont.
His neck was scrunched up like a turtle, shaking his head side to side to try and escape the horrible light feeling. Goosebumps shot down his spine and prickled the skin on his arms and legs. Alucard definitely took notice, and if you thought he wasn't going to tease him, you're sorely mistaken.
"Would you look at that, I'm tickling you so good I gave you goosebumps," even while teasing him, he still had to brag about himself.
"Ohoho my gohod d-don't sahahay it like thahahat!" he giggled. His eyes were squeezed shut, refusing to look at Alucard's pleased expression, and his nose crinkled adorably. His smile stretched across his face, and he wasn't sure if he ever smiled so wide. He was certain he'd never been so embarrassed, so why was this fun? Probably because he missed being close enough with someone for this to happen. Or maybe because he hadn't properly laughed in years, only dropping an occasional chuckle here or there.
Trevor snorted loudly as he scratched a sweet spot just behind his right ear before moving to tickle the nape of his neck. His giggling grew more frantic and his back arched off of the dusty bed.
Alucard leaned in to whisper in his ear. What really drove Trevor mad was that he wasn't even saying words, just nonsense syllables and puffs of warm breath that tickled more than he could've imagined. And then he just had to say, "I know you like this."
Trevor growled through his giggles, biceps flexing as he pulled on his arms with all his might. "Ihihi'll kihihihill you!"
Alucard rolled his eyes, raking his nails down his taut arms, drawing out choked snickers. "Really there's no need to be dramatic. If it means anything, I don't think any less of you. After all that you've gone through, you have every right to enjoy a little childish fun," he said, slowing his movements so that Trevor could hear him. He meant every word of what he said, and he hoped he knew it too.
His chest heaved as he caught his breath. His eyes were closed and he was still smiling brightly. "I hate you so much."
"I know you pretend to. But you have to admit, I've grown on you," he said proudly.
Trevor snorted in amusement. "Yeah, like a nasty, smelly fungus."
"You know, if you wanted me to continue you could've just asked."
"Wait no that's not- nohoho you dihihihick!" he tried to back track over his words but was cut off by his own laughter. He was now squeezing and kneading the soft muscle of his stomach. Trevor threw his head back as his hysterics grew. He twisted from side to side, doing anything he could to escape the ticklish attack.
"Hm, for someone who fights as well as you do I expected your abs to be a bit more firm. But I suppose that's quite normal for a human. You're all so soft and squishy," he teased.
"Ihihi'm nohot squishy!" he protested, growing more flustered with each second. Alucard cocked his head to the side and wore a sinister smirk.
"You're not? Then what's this?" he asked, pinching his hips. Trevor immediately bucked and let out a scream of laughter. "Sure feels squishy to me."
He growled through his laughter, adding an adorable rumble to his giggling. "Quihihit making fun ohohof mehehe!" he demanded.
"Why on earth would I do that when you're so fun to tease?" he asked, delighting in the shade of red Trevor now was. "I mean, you're surprisingly easy to embarrass."
"N-no Ihi'm nohohot!" he denied, rolling onto his side to hide his face in the pillow.
"Your blatant denial only proves my point further," he quipped.
All Trevor managed to stutter out was a weak, "S-shuhut uhuhuuuup." Alucard chuckled at the lame insult.
"Come on Belmont I know you can do better than that," he goaded.
"Yeah wehell, I'm a bihihit busy ahat the moment!" he countered.
"Tell you what. I'll be so kind as to strike you a deal," he all but purred. Trevor didn't know what he had planned, but he wasn't about to waste the mercy Alucard offered.
"Ohohokahay! W-what ihihis it?" he asked through his giggles. He wiggled side to side as he skittered his long nails up his sides. The new technique coaxed another snort from Trevor.
"You haven't even heard what it is yet," he said, letting his amusement show. "Seeing as you're so eager, I'll tell you. I'll stop after one more spot," he said, ceasing his attack so that he could listen.
Trevor panted, chest rising and falling as he caught his breath through lingering giggles. "Sounds like a pretty good deal. What's the catch?" he asked. He knew that Alucard had some trick up his sleeve or else he wouldn't even bother making a deal.
"You have to tell me what spot," he said with an air of superiority. He closed his eyes and shrugged before examining his nails, keeping an eye on Trevor's shocked expression.
"Oh fuck you! You're a real bastard you know that? A true menace in every sense of the word," he complained as the blush from earlier returned. The half vampire smirked.
"Does that mean you accept?"
"That doesn't mean jack shit because that's a ridiculous request," he snapped.
"What? But why? Merely a second ago you said, and I quote, "sounds like a pretty good deal." So what made that change Belmont?" he teased, leaning in closer to his personal space.
He pressed himself further into the mattress. He was fighting off a nervous smile, trying to maintain the grumpy determination he had just spoke with. But then Alucard rolled up his shirt, letting his long hair brush over his stomach. He gasped and bit his lip, deep snickers sputtering out. "I-I cahan't say something like thahat!" he admitted through gritted teeth, although giggles still managed to slip into his words.
"Awww and why not? Is it simply too embarrassing?" he asked, mockingly sweet.
"Dohohon't patronize mehehe!" he demanded before squealing as his belly was prodded and scratched.
"My proposition sound any more appealing yet?" he asked smugly. And just as he expected, his only answer was Trevor's deep, charming laughter. "I mean, we could wrap this up or we could wait until Sypha finds us like this. And I do believe she'd find this information quite... intriguing."
He did have a point. She'd probably start wondering what's taking them so long and start looking for them. And with how loud he was being, it wouldn't take her long to find them. For as kind as she is, she can be a cruel and curious woman, and he wasn't too eager to see what she'd do with this new knowledge. (Okay who was he kidding? He'd totally let her take advantage of him like that.) But she also looked out for him and might feel compelled to save him from their friend's torture.
"I-I'll take my chances," he managed to stutter out.
"Okay. Feel free to change your mind," he said, winking at him again. He formed a claw with one hand and shook it on his soft yet toned stomach. He immediately burst into frantic chuckles and snorts. Alucard managed to wiggle a finger in his bellybutton, making him buck like a bull and let out a rather girlish squeal.
"Okahahay fuhuhuck! Okahay I'll tahahake your stupid shitty deheheal!" Alucard stopped to give him a moment to gather his thoughts. It didn't take him as long to calm down this time.
"So, which spot do I have the pleasure of tickling," he asked, wiggling his fingers above his body. Trevor flinched, the nervous smile growing larger. Alucard's fangs peaked out from behind his lips in a smile of his own. His was sly and playful while Trevor's was giddy and goofy and happy.
He looked away and rolled his eyes. "Don't say it like that, you sound so damn weird," he said, voice laced with fondness.
Alucard waved him off. "Yes yes, you think I'm a freak. Now, I believe there's something you were going to say?" he prompted.
"I want to start off by saying that I can and should kill you after this. But I think I'll settle for revenge when you're least expecting it." Alucard huffed and rolled his eyes, drumming his fingers on his tummy. He yelped and giggled, rocking side to side.
"Your stalling is getting quite annoying. Pick. A. Spot." As he spoke, he delivered quick pokes all over his torso with each word. One to his ribs, one under each arm, and the last one on his bellybutton.
"Thighs!" he squeaked out, hiding his face in the crook of his arm. He barely remembered the last time anyone had tickled him, but he was fairly sure that no one ever tried that spot. So he had every reason to assume it wouldn't tickle as bad as it did. As it turned out, he was very wrong and willing to say as such.
"Shihihit ihihit's soho bahahad!" He kicked his legs and arched his back before he came crashing down on the mattress.
"Were you not expecting this?" Alucard teased, squeezing the toned muscle. He snorted loudly and nodded. He cooed down at him unsympathetically.
"If only you'd known, you wouldn't have picked such a sensitive spot. Poor, ticklish Belmont," he teased. He moved his hands to lightly scratch up and down his inner thighs. He squealed and slammed his legs together before booming cackles escaped his throat.
"Dohohon't cahall me thahahat!"
"Don't call you what? Poor or ticklish? You really need to be more specific," he deadpanned.
"Juhuhust shut up ahahalready!" He snorted again when he started kneading his thighs.
"Funny how you keep telling me to shut up but won't tell me to stop." Trevor's blush increased tenfold as he finally screamed for mercy.
"Stohohop plehehease!" he cackled, and Alucard relented. He released the hold on his magic, and Trevor immediately curled into a ball. His body still shuddered from lingering tingles as his giggles tapered off.
"So, did you only tell me to stop because I pointed it out?" he asked, only half teasing. Trevor narrowed his eyes playfully.
"No, I didn't. I think I had enough. You're fucking ruthless you know," he chuckled, shaking his head.
"Thank you, I try to be," he said proudly. "So, how are you feeling? Surely after all that giggling you must feel a little better," he reasoned. He wore a gentle smile and bumped his knee against his.
Trevor let out a loud grunt as he sat up. "Oddly enough, I do feel better. But I don't giggle," he said sternly, pointing a finger very close to the other man's face.
"Oh but you do. Your voice may be deeper, but you still giggle like a child," he taunted. Trevor doubled over and hid his face in his hands.
"No I dooon't."
"You do. You also chuckle, guffaw, squeal, shriek, cackle, snort-"
"Okay I fucking get it," he whined in embarrassment, shoving Alucard onto the floor. He landed on his ass with a thud. He threw his head back and laughed, dusting himself off as he stood.
"It's wonderful how easily flustered you are," he purred and leaned down to pinch his cheek. Trevor reeled back in surprise, swatting his hand away.
"I'm not-" he sighed, as if giving up. "I don't know what it is but something about you is just- rrrgh- it's downright embarrassing!" He fell back on the bed dramatically, flopping over to hide his face in the fur of his stuffed cat. "But for some reason, it makes me feel... happy isn't the right word, but it's all I got."
"It's called teasing. You know, what friends do."
"I hate it," he said, peaking at him from the corner of his eye. He groaned as he felt Alucard ruffle his hair.
"No you don't."
Trevor smiled softly as he admits, "No, I don't. It makes me feel weird but, in a good way."
"The teasing isn't the only thing you like, is it?" he asked. He raised his brow in question.
"I don't follow."
"You like tickling, don't you?" As soon as he asked, he went completely stiff and he adverted his eyes. The smirk told him that he already knew despite whatever answer he got. Had told him so himself. The pink in his cheeks was starting to return once more. Alucard rolled his eyes. "I'm not asking so I can make fun of you. I'm asking because I know how hard life has been on you. If I can help you do something you enjoy, then I will by all means."
Trevor scoffed, rolling onto his back. He was hesitant to put his hands behind his head, but forced himself to anyways. He couldn't let him know he'd gotten to him, so he acted aloof.
"Nice try, but I'd rather die than admit I like being tickled," he said sternly. He was internally grateful that he didn't stutter on the last word. The small victory felt squashed when he looked over and saw the shit eating grin on Alucard's face.
"You just did," he pointed out. His eyes flew wide open and he bolted upright. His nostrils flared as he struggled to form words.
"No- I- You- I do not!"
"You really struggled to find those words for someone who's so sure of himself," he taunted.
Trevor couldn't keep this up. Not with Alucard. He was unshakable, relentlessly teasing, but above all, well intentioned. He let out a heavy sigh.
"I just- I never had any of this. Even before, well, everything. Studying and training always came first, and I'd been fine with that because I could still pester my cousins and play with them. But I had to grow up so fast. You know, be a real man and fend for myself." He stared at a small hole on the floor, rubbing the back of his neck timidly. "I guess I forgot that it was okay to be a kid again. At least for a little bit," he said, the confession more heartfelt than he'd intended. He whistled to cut through the settling silence and laughed awkwardly.
"Wow, sorry, I didn't mean to get so serious." He turned when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
"Please, don't apologize. I'm glad you opened up to me. For what it's worth, I think you deserve to act a little goofy. You're far too serious and grumpy," he said to lighten the mood. Trevor's lips quirked up in a smile.
"Heh, yeah. It's... hard not to be," he admitted.
"Well if you ever get too crotchety, I know the perfect cure."
"If you ever tell anyone I like it, I'll disembowel you and hand feed your entrails to the buzzards," he threatened.
"My my, aren't you one for theatrics. How about instead you just return the favor. I might be disheveled and embarrassed by the end of it, but hey, you seem to be managing just fine."
Trevor smirked and looked him up and down. "Does that mean you like it too?"
Now it was Alucard's turn to blush. "Wha- no that's preposterous! Why on earth would I?"
Trevor shrugged and leaned in closer. "Because you and I are one in the same really. Like two sides of the same coin," he teased.
He figured that since Trevor had been so honest, it was only fair for him to return the favor. "Alright fine, it can be fun. I enjoy laughing and miss being close to people. But we should go," he said, abruptly standing up.
"Why? Afraid of my soon to be revenge?" he asked, squeezing his hips.
He yelped, jumping nearly a foot in the air, causing the other man to burst into laughter.
"That's not funny!"
"It's hilarious! I mean, to think that the Alucard Tepes is ticklish!"
"You're one to talk! Trevor Belmont, famed monster hunter bested by the son of Dracula. Oh no, he didn't die, he was just tickled half to death until he was a snorting, giggly mess-"
"Oh my god shut it!" He slapped a hand over his mouth to make him stop talking. It was effective, and he could feel his smile against the palm of his hand. Alucard gently moved his hand away.
"I'm better at this than you are."
"I'm out of practice, but trust me, it'll come back. Just you wait and see," he promised.
"Oh I can't wait."
"I bet you can't. In fact, I bet you break and ask me to get my revenge."
"Now there's a bold claim."
"Not a claim, a prophecy," he said, completely sure of himself. The sheer amount of self confidence in that statement was enough to make Alucard nervous that he would actually see it through. "And Sypha will be right there with me."
"Bold of you to assume she wouldn't turn on you and help me instead," he joked.
"Oh no, she totally would at some point. But up until then, it'll be a sweet ride to victory," he said, puffing out his chest, fists resting on his hips in a pose. Alucard stood and helped him up.
"Well, we should probably get back to the double crosser before she comes looking for us."
He sighed. "Yeah, you're probably right. There's still a lot of work that needs to be done."
Sypha didn't question them when they got back, simply greeting them and catching them up on her findings. Trevor was in much higher spirits since his little "chat" with Alucard. He smiled a lot more, and even laughed occasionally. But the anxious, on edge man he'd been for the past few days was no more. And they were all grateful for that.
#on one hand: 😟
#on the other: how poignant and heartbreaking and personal as a piece . god the mood you could evoke. the ache. the visualisation of of trauma of Loss of death of grief and metaphoric showcasing of childhood trauma #all under the umbrella of fanart that will get 30 notes
sorry not sorry to once Again be rephrasing an unprompted discord message i sent but: the general idea that prompted ^ was “gansey but his own Child Ghost haunts him” something something reusing time if you die once you're already dead etc etc
to clarify i dont think it exists like noah but it does exist to gansey, think ganseys doing his henrietta model and there's this HREERRREEEEUUUHHH noise and a ghost c-rpse child is dragging itself closer to him and gansey’s like. ok this is a thing that happens to me now. oh um, hello, me. look i'm doing the roof right now, do you wanna see? and the Thing lurks like juuust in the peripheral but it's sort of almost bonding cus like. it's a child ghost thing that shouldn't exist but it's still gansey and its not particularly malicious, it just Is . and i suppose the point of it is
do you have empathy, do you have love for the child you were? if you could hold the loss of your innocence and your own dead body would you guide him gently? if you die once in whatever manner isn't there a part of you perpetually stuck in that moment of death? if you saw yourself before the loss would you hate him like you hate yourself or would you see him as the child he is? would you treat him with warmth you did not get? would you give it to yourself?
