Unfortunately, I am
My own dog, my own fur companion
My own old lady on a forum
Who types in glittery decorum
Unfortunately, I take
Myself out walking every day and
I hand my legs to the feet and
I give my head to the leash
Every other day, I'm wondering
"What's a human being gotta be like?
What's a way to just be competent?"
These sweet instincts ruin my life
Every other day, I'm wondering
"Was it a mistake to try and define
What I'm certain's mad incompetence?"
These sweet instincts ruin my life
I can't smell well, or tell the time
Not K through 8, nor K dash 9
For human, grossly underqualified
For canine, grossly overqualified
I don't blend in at PetSmart
And that truth remains at the Walmart
'Cause in either case, they say to me
"What the fuck is lost in aisle three?"
Every other day, I'm wondering
"What's a human being gotta be like?
What's a way to just be competent?"
These sweet instincts ruin my life
Every other day, I'm wondering
"Was it a mistake to try and define
What I'm certain's mad incompetence?"
These sweet instincts ruin my life
Just watch me, moving far away
Nobody even knows my name, and
No one suspects that I'm not fine, and
Nobody outs behavioral Frankenstein
Just look at Dave with his bae
And Rose with her fuckin' fiancee
And all the majors at the labels
Rebooting soon as I am able
Every other day, I'm wondering
"What's a human being gotta be like?
What's a way to just be competent?"
These sweet instincts ruin my life
Every other day, I'm wondering
"Was it a mistake to try and define What I'm certain's mad incompetence?"
These sweet instincts ruin my life
Da-da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da, da
Da-da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da
These sweet instincts ruin my life
Da-da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da, da
Da-da-da-da-da-da, da-da-da
These sweet instincts ruin my life