every time you hesitate, someone less talented takes your spot. the world rewards audacity and confidence, NOT potential alone.
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every time you hesitate, someone less talented takes your spot. the world rewards audacity and confidence, NOT potential alone.
Controversial Opinion but one thing that I learned in the last few months of 2023 was to not accommodate my social anxiety at any cost. If you're someone like me, whose social anxiety is caused by fear of messing up and just not being used to socializing, then this is for you. Do not indulge or adapt to your anxiety, instead just do it. I know it seems ridiculous, but really you have to just expose yourself to what you're anxious and scared of, which in this case is socializing or basically doing anything publicly.
Exposure=Knowledge=practice=confidence=less anxiety because once you're exposed to your fear, it'll get easier. Sure, it may takes weeks, months and maybe even years, but you will eventually gain confidence and get better at it. For instance, let's say you suck at doing pull ups. But you practice it for 30 days and eventually you will see improvements. It's the same thing with social behavior, you won't get better at it if you don't participate in socializing. You have to show up, even if it's just for 5 minutes, even if it's just walking to the grocery shop. You need little steps to achieve confidence and fuck social anxiety up. If your anxiety is telling you not to do it because you'll look dumb or ugly or whatever, it's lying to you. You need to do it anyways. Literally cannot explain this enough, do it anyways, even if you're bad at it, even if you don't know how to do it. Do it anyways.
how to create a leveling up/dream girl/rebranding plan 🤍🍸🖤
establish your aesthetic
first thing’s first, you need to know where you want to go in life and what is your “aesthetic”? do you want to be giving “classy, businesswoman”? what about “nyc socialite”? of course these are just examples, but you should know what type of girl you want to embody. remember, you don’t have to fit a narrative, but you should have a general “aesthetic” that you want to be associated with. even if it’s 50 million different aesthetics, it’s whatever makes you, you.
visualize yourself/life
get inspired by making a vision board (physical or digital) and add to your board (if digital) daily. i find that this helps you stay in alignment with where you want to be in the future. you have to stay in that frequency and remind yourself of what’s next to come… because this new life is what’s next to come.
start with habits
please refer to my “starting your leveling up journey” post, but basically— you should create 1-3 habits for each of your goals and work on them until they become second nature. then when you’re ready, start implementing more habits that are aligned with your goals.
create routines with your habits
can you incorporate some of these new habits into a morning or evening routine? we all know that routines are important— they almost become our personalities and they set the tone for the day and night, and even the next day. for me, i know i’m only inspired to exercise in the morning around 10am, so exercise is part of my morning routine.
create daily + weekly goals
let’s say part of your journey is learning a new language. a daily goal could be learning one new vocabulary word in that language. your weekly goal could be knowing the alphabet in that language. use this method for all of your goals.
don’t overwhelm yourself with goals, routines, and habits
start slow; don’t overwhelm yourself. if you want to work on one goal at a time, then work on that one goal. burnout is real and it’s very hard to get back into the swing of things afterwards. i understand most of us are impatient when we just want to be a different version of ourselves, but it’s going to take some adjusting. i suggest not working on more than 3 things at once, but if you can work on more, go ahead
be a part of a community to keep you accountable
tumblr and facebook groups in my opinion are the best ways you can connect with other women who are working on the same thing. you can inspire one another, bounce ideas off of one another, and it’s super fun. you might want to even document your journey online.
set milestones and have a reward system
let’s say you would like to lose or gain weight, no matter the number, focus on 5-10 pound increments. when each milestone is successfully completed, reward yourself with something nice. maybe it’s getting your nails done, or splurging on a product that everyone on tiktok keeps talking about. apply this to any of your goals where there are milestones to get to.
don’t waste the day
you should not have any “zero days” meaning… you should be doing at least one thing everyday to reach a goal(s) you have. it doesn’t matter if one goal was to maintain a more organized, clean environment— do your dishes, set the trash out, clean up the hair from the bathroom sink, etc.
If there are only a few things you can take with your journey through life, let it be kindness, grace, ambition and a healthy dose of delusion. You'll need to extend kindness and grace to yourself and everyone around you and you'll need ambition and delusion to make yourself to reach higher than seemingly possible, knowing that without a shadow of a doubt you will make it no matter what.
These are what have kept me when I was really struggling, without them, I don't know who I would be today.
X's and O's, Elle.
Sunday Resets
Setting aside time for yourself is so important. I don't think people understand how vital it is to pay attention to your body and just take a day to let your body r-e-l-a-x. We're all so busy fighting to reach the top, that while climbing the corporate ladder, we lose ourselves somewhere along the way. Burnout, depression, and monotony come into play when we don't listen to our bodies telling us they need a break.
Once every two weeks or so, on a Sunday, I turn off all my notifications and have a day dedicated to me. Giving my body some TLC, resting and preparing for the next week. If I have plans on a Sunday, such as brunch or a meeting, I shift that day to Saturday, or at the very least, a day where I have at least 4-5 hours to spend leisurely.
Things I like to do on my Sunday resets:
Wake up early/sleep in: Depending on my mood, and how much sleep I've had during the week, I'll either be up at the crack of dawn or still in bed till it's nearly noon. There's no shame in staying in bed till 11:30 if you're particularly exhausted, but I recommend waking up at least before 11 AM because then you'll feel tired and groggy (of course, this doesn't apply to everyone)
Clean my room: I always make my bed without fail, and if my room is messy, then I'll clean it. Clean the vanity table, my desk, closet, art cupboard and bookshelf, and then the bathroom. If my mom needs help around the house, I do that too.
Food: I make myself a good breakfast, taking time to move around the kitchen and just breathe. I'm getting to eat good food, the sun is shining and I'm alive. It's great. Sometimes my dad cooks for the whole family and we just sit and eat together.
The Everything Shower: I take my Everything Shower on Sundays, where I wash my hair, deep condition, use a hair and face mask, exfoliate and do a face massage. I don't shave because I get my waxing done in a salon. I then slather myself in cocoa butter lotion and apply lip balm. Then do my hair routine (curly hair). It takes a few hours, but it's worth it.
The Next Week: I prep for the next week by cooking something I can take to my classes, like granola bars or homemade pita chips. I also sit down and plan my schedule (any dinners, meetings, parties, etc) and make a rough plan of my goals for the week, like assignments and deadlines.
Errands: I usually make a list of things I need to do during the week, like any specific separate groceries that I use, art supplies I'm low on, or needing to top up the air in my tyres. Then I go complete all of those in the afternoon.
Walks: In the evening, I take a walk around the block with a friend. I usually am too busy to do this during the week, so getting some fresh air is always a treat.
Relax: The rest of the evening is spent relaxing. I watch Netflix with my family, chat with my younger sister, read a novel/play the piano/write poetry. We have dinner together and then either watch a movie or just spend the time talking about our week, or the news. It's fun.
Double-check: Before I go to sleep, I make sure to double-check that my work is done, my bag is packed, clothes are folded and all my devices are charged. I'm in bed by 10:30 PM.
Remember that not all Sundays will be like this. Sometimes I'm extremely drained, so I'll sleep in, order food and just lay in bed recuperating. It's okay to take a rest day. This guide is if you want to be more productive, and it helps the week go smoother. Be the person who has their life in charge. You've got this.
<3
Why patience is key
Hey girlies,
I think we all know this situation: we write down our goals and how we’re gonna achieve them.
We start working out, do our skincare religiously for a week, eat clean…but after two weeks that feel like years we don’t see much progress.
We don’t have ABs, our skin is not crystal clear and cooking three meals a day annoys us.
We get mad because we did everything we could but can’t really see a difference.
Well, I have bad news for us all. It’s not possible to change your life in a few weeks.
We have to be patient, no matter how hard it is.
We can’t expect our body to completly transform in a few weeks after we neglected it for the last years.
We can’t expect our skin to clear up in a week after we did nothing for the last few months.
It is painful, I know. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, I know. But we have to stay strong and patient.
Results will come with time, remember that.