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cute
Threesome request denied
Hisollumi inspired by broken sculptures
hi daddy
big three
do they prefer tits or ass
🤔🤔🤔🤔
ofc you're anonymous. ofc u are.
LMFAO i fw u tho ur asking the real questions everyone wants to know
BIG THREE AND THEIR PREFERENCES WHEN IT COMES TO ASS/TITS
by: the goat, daddy bach (me)
illumi — neither!! he's fucking weird....
illumi genuinely doesn’t fit into any of the boxes, and trying to shove him into “ass/tits/thighs” is the same energy as trying to give a calculator a favorite food
he js doesn’t operate on the same circuitry and it’s actually more canon-accurate to let him be that instead of forcing a “preference”
ok so....
illumi doesn’t have a “type” because he doesn’t experience attraction the way normal people do
he’s not “above it,” he’s not “mysterious,” he’s literally just not wired that way.
like, in actual canon:
he doesn’t get flustered
he doesn’t get horny in a normal-human pattern
he doesn’t seek out physical traits
he doesn’t categorize people by body parts
he doesn’t think “oh wow that’s hot,” his brain goes “is this person a threat?”
his actual “attraction” (if you even call it that) is: behavior, predictability, obedience, calmness, and control, NOT body parts
so the realistic version is this:
if you forced him to choose he’d stare at you like you asked him for his opinion on different brands of oxygen.
like: “what does that matter?”
because to him, it doesn’t. his entire relationship with physicality is functional, not aesthetic or sexual.
so what DOES he notice?
posture
balance
how someone walks
how someone stands in silence
whether they flinch
whether they shake
whether they make noise when breathing
how they carry weight
all of that is not attraction tho, js like... stats, ig
bottom line
illumi is js canonically the ONE character who just… isn’t part of the normal horny ecosystem. like everyone has preferences, but illumi? he doesn’t get a box
his box is “none.”
BUTTTTTTT if you insist on something?? ANYTHING? let's js say thighs, ok?
if he fw thighs like that, what he DOES notice?
strong thighs
soft thighs
thick thighs
skinny thighs
it literally doesn’t matter. he just thinks thighs on people look… pleasing
this is NOT a "thigh guy" thing tho. this is js different!! i'm js saying this for the headcanon ok.
the way he acts about it:
stares dead-on, zero shame
doesn’t even realize he’s staring
will analyze them like he’s picking out groceries
doesn’t get flustered, doesn’t hide it
genuinely does not understand why people would get embarrassed bc he’s the type to be like: “your legs are aesthetically balanced😶🤖” like thanks bro?😭
hisoka — tits
not even gonna lie. he’s a tits guy. he’s THE tits guy. (he may even have tits himself!!😵) and he’s annoying about it, like are we deadass.
not in a cartoon-perv way, but in a “oh, this is visually stimulating for my brain chemicals!” way (cue the boner) also, he’s equal-opportunity too—big, small, whatever, he literally doesn’t care. he just enjoys the bounce, the shape, the softness, the theatrics! you'd think he strictly goes for dih but... you'd be shocked, ig!
how he acts about it:
looks openly
smirks
raises an eyebrow
absolutely knows you noticed
absolutely wants you to notice that he noticed
hisoka treats tits like a sport icel
chrollo — ass
he’s an ass guy. not even a debate. #sorrynotsorry
he acts calm about it bc he’s chrollo, but TRUSTTTTT, he’s looking. i honestly think it fits his personality. like, it's the quiet, observant, subtle, appreciating things from a distance
he likes:
proportion
shape
the way people move
the little curve under clothes
but don't get me wrong: he’s not loud about it, he’s not a thirsty creature like leorio, he’s not obvious. he js quietly logs it into the chrollo brain database and moves on!
how he acts:
subtle glances
pretends he didn’t look
very very professional abt it tho
will absolutely look again
he’s the most “respectfully ass” man alive (leorio is typing...)
So you're telling me, you're not obsessed with two gay ass motherfuckers, that permanently altered your brain and you do not think about them every living moment of your life, and you don't cry about them on daily basis? Ah. That's.......cool.
realisation…
My entry for Hisoillu Weekend day 2! 🃏📍
First kiss 😙 / First kill 🔪
Bonus (the photos on the wall) - cw: blood
Inctober
Day 28: Jumbo