#holothery

[amalgamation-howling]

chat how do i explain to the little therian kids that recognise my theta delta at work that like yeah theyre foxes and wolves and cats and im like- clown-alien-robo-zom-dog hybrid freak and also extinct jawless prehistoric fish (among like so many other things)

help lmfao

[e-li-ye]

[image id: a cartoonish drawing of a bearded vulture playing in a bowl. he looks quite happy to be there. the caption reads "'get a job' nope im playing in da bowl". the background is a flat gray field. signed "ailiye". end id]

drew myself playing in da bowl

[shytag]

[oareyatsngawpayvi]

my therapist has described me as an interplanetary 1st gen immigrant 😭

it would be funny if it wasn ‘ t so depressing and true

“ i don ‘ t think you ‘ ll ever truly adapt to living in this culture . your views are completely clashing , and i don ‘ t think you ‘ ll find an environment you ‘ re truly content in . even a microculture wouldn ‘ t quite work either , because it would be a human centered framework of environmentalism or spirituality “

so my therapy homework is to read about 1st generation immigration experiences and how they adapted . and also research environmentalism as a career path , which we were doing anyway

it ‘ s so hard to grieve being away from somewhere you ‘ ll never be again and then also grieve being somewhere you cannot be truly happy in

[starfwish]

reef na’vi nonhuman

[plain text: reef na’vi nonhuman]

a pride flag for reef na’vi nonhumans , && / ou reef na’vi who awe also animal ou plant identifying . such as , for example , a reef na’vi holothere who is also a whale shark zoanthrope .

[plain text: a pride flag for reef na’vi nonhumans, and/or reef na’vi who are also animal or plant identifying. such as, for example, a reef na’vi holothere who is also a whale shark zoanthrope.]

[ywndere]

HAAII HAI HI HAIII HI HI

fronting is beautiful sniff sneef snoof sniff sniff snorf

[shibuyagraffiti]

i tried to talk to my therapist about being a holothere today. i’m so used to people jumping on me and calling me a psycho that i had a total freakout and couldn’t articulate anything properly about being a dream eater or an angel or even just being neku. she didn’t even call it delusions and she kept correcting herself when she called me a person. she says she’s had past lives that she remembers, and it’s not like my experience, but she gets the base idea. all my thoughts would flutter away until she had to ask me simple multiple choice questions. i tried really hard to speak about it, have a conversation, but i couldn’t do it for more than 15 minutes. we moved on instead to feeling alienated because i’m not from this dimension, but i really want to be able to talk about it. i want to tell her about my life and lives without my fear making me a zombie. i just kept waiting for her to say something awful or insensitive but she never really did. she called me a being and an individual and a reaper. ive never had this before, had someone who doesn’t understand try to get to know my species and soul identity. it’s terrifying but i want to be able to do it. i know what it’s like to be called names and hit and manipulated, i want to know what it’s like to have a human be kind to me.

[nnoiise-moved]

“Yeah, I felt really upset, you know? Because when I put candy in my pocket it melted, and that’s, like… eugh, what? Like a warm human? I’m dead, you know? Weird.“

“Oh, that makes sense. I mean, yeah, of course your body is human. I mean, maybe not when you’re fronting, but different headmates, you know… it’s still human, haha.”

“I mean, I guess it’s human sometimes, when I’m not shapeshifting, at least.”

“Mmm… [long pause] Yeah, the body is a human, so… Makes sense.”

This is two interactions between me and my human singlet best friend. I feel sick, like I’m going to pass out. I can’t stop shaking. She lied to me, that she knew I was nonhuman. I thought she understood, she said she understood, I explained it to her in plain terms, we are biologically nonhuman, she said that she understood. She thinks I’m making a metaphor. She thinks I’m talking about spiritual beliefs. I TOLD her “when a nonhuman is fronting, we are biologically their species. It’s sometimes human shaped on the outside, but it’s not actually human. Even alterhumans are sometimes like ‘your body is human though,’ NO IT’S NOT, it literally is not, I don’t know why you can’t see the nonhuman features.” That is the exact text message, and she had a huge pause for like an hour, and then responded with “Yeah, I understand, I kinda figured it worked like that.” I’m so heartbroken and hurt and I’m physically ill, I feel like I’m withdrawaling off medication or something. My paws are tingling. I couldn’t figure out why this wave of sickness washed over me in the moment, because I just stopped processing the conversation, but I was walking home, and I just… she doesn’t believe me. She thinks I’m making it up. I really, really thought she was one of the good ones. I’ve been really struggling with my fear and rage towards the human race, and people, and I don’t know if I can mentally gymnastics my way out of hating her. I’m going to try and talk to her about it, maybe I’ll have Axel do it, so I don’t get too upset. I really thought she was a kind, understanding human. I thought she saw me, really saw me, even if she couldn’t see my transformations with her eyes. I’m fucking devastated. I might cancel my date with my nekofriend today, I don’t know if I can do this. I’m so emotionally crushed.