This is going to be done by audio speaker to text. Today, today has been a mixture of a bunch of things, rough, good, happy, depressed, anxious, nervous. All of the above to stuff that I like and dislike or whatever I guess. I guess I may say how today was, so today was good, my gf left to go to home to get ready for work @6:30 then I went back to bed after telling her I loved her, I woke up officially around 9:30-10:26ish I think, then I got a burrito and ate that for breakfast (it was really really bad, my dad tries his best to cook but sometimes his meals aren’t very goob). Then I waited for my friend and I played overwatch for the first time ever w/her and I had a lot of fun! Then I started to try to get into the groove w/playing Minecraft which didn’t really work too well sadly which made me nervous/kinda down and I was kind of going through a downward spiral which sucked, but then I started watching yt videos and that kinda blew the time away. After that I went bowling kinda w/my brothers and dad and I felt very overwhelmed because there were a lot of ppl there and it was very noisy and it was a super duper noise overload which just made me uncomfortable and paranoid that people may have been judging me or whatever. I just mainly listened to music when I was there on Spotify, but that didn’t really help too much, so I was kinda just stuck there not able to do anything :/, then after that we went home, I downloaded some more games on my 2ds and finally organized everything into folders, and ate 2 peanut butter sandwiches. I do need to drink water so I’ll probably get some after this post. I called my gf to say goodnight which was nice, but I wanted to talk to her abt this but I don’t wanna wake her up and bother her with how I’m feeling right now. There’s a lot of other things going on also, like how my mom’s ex boyfriend is and has been very very scary and how he has made her feel very unsafe and uncomfortable when she found out he was an alcoholic which isn’t good. And I feel like I’m not ever going to be a good enough son for my dad, because we just never get along at all and it really really sucks, and my brothers hardly ever talk to me, like ik my 15y/o brother isn’t because he’s going through 9th grade and he’s always talking to his friends or is in his room on his computer or is watching a tv show for the hundredth time and never wants to hangout w/me and I understand that, but me now being in college just makes me feel like I don’t belong in this family I’m in. Ik that seems scummy or whatever, but that is just how I feel rn. And my youngest brother bless his heart, has adhd and autism like I do, but he hasn’t ever been given consequences or anything if he did something wrong, plus he’s an iPad child and gets whatever he wants pretty much. And it’s like, it’s sucks cause he never even wants to talk to me :/. My other younger brother who is almost 10, is scared of his dad and his dad is trying to get complete custody of him so my mom can’t see him anymore. He didn’t even get a Christmas tree for them to decorate. I’m hoping to get him something really nice and special this year. Okay okay, I’m sorry this has been long, it’s just how I feel rn and how I’ve been feeling for the past few days. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday and a happy Xmas :p Gn ppl
