The Doctors as John Mulaney Quotes
pre-show one: You know how you lie to your parents?
1st: I look back on being 17 and think, "Oh my god how did I not die?"
2nd: Everyone get out of my way! I just wanna sit here and feed my birds.
3rd: I will pepper in the fact that I'm gay.
4th: Sometimes, people would say, “What do you think you’re doing?” But that just meant “Stop.” They didn’t actually wanna know my thought process.
5th: Life is already so goddam weird. This might as well happen.
Also 5th: I hear what you’re saying, and I ALSO don’t want me to be doing what I’m doing.
6th: And I shit you not!
Also 6th: I'm gay and I'd like a few dollars.
7th: Brush your teeth, now, boom orange juice, that's life.
Movie-early 8th: I'm very small and I have no money. So you can imagine the kind of stress I am under.
Mide-late 8th:[groans] Ya know life?
War: And life is a fucking nightmare
9th: I'll put my emotions here, and one day I'll die.
10th: No That's The Thing I'm Sensitive about
Time Lord Victorious 10th: You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair
11th: And I said no, ya know like a liar.
Also 11th: You know how I'm filled with rage?
12th: Emily Dickinson is a lesbian.
also 12th: Now we don't have time to unpack All That
13th: I need everyone, all day long, to like me SO much.
