call your girlfriend | ijb
word count: 4k
pairing: jaebeom & reader
genre: angst, mentions of cheating, fluffy ending
summary: he knew what he was doing was wrong but how could it be when you made him feel so alive, like no one else ever could. maybe, it was time to break up with his girlfriend.
please read: i posted this imagine before but had to repost it because the link wouldn’t work. in this fiction, jb cheats on his girlfriend with the reader. i don’t want to romanticize cheating at all, i just really love the song and needed to write something angsty.
The last thing you would’ve expected tonight was Im Jaebeom in front of your door at two in the morning - of course, it wasn’t the first time he showed up unexpected at this late hour but this time the expression on his face was different and you immediately knew that he wasn’t coming around to spend the night with you like usually. Tonight there was no smile on his lips, he wasn’t happy to see you, instead the young man that you adored so much looked rather worried and worn out, an empty and exhausted expression on his face, his hand covering his mouth, deep in thought, as he didn’t even look at you, his eyes not daring to meet yours. Your favorite secret definitely came to you for something more serious this time and to be quite honest, you were afraid.
For a second the worst scenarios went through your head, all of them ending in you and Jaebeom going different ways. Was he coming to end things between you? Your heart immediately beat faster in your chest and you felt a strange and tingling feeling from inside, very different from the feelings you usually have when you see the handsome man that you were in love with. You knew that the moment of truth would come eventually, the day you two would part ways but nothing could prepare you for the pain that came with it.
When you first met him things still were innocent - he was just a boy to you and you were just a girl to him, two strangers at a party of a mutual friend that got along quite good and shared a drink, nothing more. To you, he was a good looking guy that you’ve heard of before and to him, you were this one childhood friend of Jackson, cute indeed, but he didn’t dare to think of you that way because he knew his girlfriend was waiting at home for him.
Jaebeom’s girlfriend, Eunhwa. They’ve been together since they were sixteen, one of these couples that clearly were going to get married and have children and grow old together - at least that was what everyone assumed. But after six years of being with each other Jaebeom started to doubt his relationship with her. He was more than thankful for her, she made him the man he was now as she was always right next to his side as he turned from the little boy in high school to the man he was by now. Still, he couldn’t help to think that maybe there should be more than that for him, they were both still so young and used to each other - maybe he just didn’t feel the same kind of love towards her that he used to. He couldn’t help but wonder if there was more than this out there, waiting for him. These thoughts were beginning to eat him up from inside and at first, he pushed them away, telling himself he was unthankful and she was the one for him, just like everyone always said. He got embarrassed and mad at himself every time a bad thought about their relationship came to his mind and eventually the whole situation became more than overwhelming to him. So one night, a few months ago, Jackson invited him to one of his famous house parties and Jaebum was more than happy to go, hoping he could distract himself a bit from the stress he was putting himself through. And he did find a distraction, just not in the way he would have thought.
As you first spotted him, Jaebeom caught your eye immediately - his clothes, his laugh, his hair - it would’ve been a lie to say he wasn’t attractive to you, he looked exactly like a guy should in your opinion - and you were sure you weren’t the only one mesmerized by his looks. But what really peaked your interest in him were his eyes: When you first looked into them that night, as he asked you if you could hand him the bottle of whiskey next to you, you felt like drowning in them - it sounds so cliché, you were well aware of that, but there was no point in lying to yourself, no eyes ever got you like those brown eyes of his. So you did what he asked you to - while you were handing him the bottle someone in the crowded kitchen, a very drunk guy you never saw before at this time (by now the same guy, Yugyeom, was a close friend of yours) managed to bump so hard against Jaebeom while dancing that it made him fall right on top of you. He froze for a second, looking down on you, his eyes not daring to wander down to where he spilled all the whiskey on your shirt.
“I think we should have dinner first.”, you said laughing, trying to get him off you so you could stand up and clean your cleavage.
He immediately relaxed when he heard your corny joke, happy you were not mad, and let out a small laugh too, “I’m truly sorry.”, he was taking you to the next sink, looking for a cloth he could give you.
Looking back at this memory now, you wondered if Jaebeom sometimes wished he didn’t meet you just so he could have avoided this disaster. You remember spending the rest of the evening close to him, wanting to know more and more about the mysterious guy that made your heart flutter, he was by far the most interesting person you’ve met in a long time - the two of you seemed to get along in no time, just as if you met years ago. Getting to know Im Jaebeom felt like catching up with an old friend. It started with all of you in a big group, playing some of those terrible games like ‘Never Have I Ever’ and you could feel Jaebum’s gaze on you every time you took a shot - later, as you had a bit too much to drink and felt dizzy, he accompanied you outside, holding your shoulders so you wouldn’t fall on the way out, laughing loudly at your clearly fucked-up state.
“Do you usually get this drunk? Who watches over you if I’m not there?”, you still remember him asking you, his sweet laugh echoing in your head. After sitting outside with him for about two hours of becoming more sober and having conversations about literally anything, stuff like your first pets and Jaebum telling you everything about his friends and how they met, the two of you went inside and danced with each other for another hour, wondering where he learned to move like that and thinking how adorable it was that he had so much fun dancing, almost carefree. Thinking of it now, not a lot of things you connected to Im Jaebeom felt carefree.
As he left he wanted nothing more than to ask for your number - in general, he didn’t want anything as bad as your number in a long time. But he knew that would be a step too far, guilt was already creeping up to him because he talked to you the whole evening without telling you about the girl waiting for him at home, probably worrying because he hadn’t texted her all night. Not that there was something wrong with meeting someone new - it was the simple realization that he didn’t want you to know about her that made him feel like the worst man as he came home to Eunhwa that night, knowing that he didn’t cheat on her but still betrayed her in some weird way. She had been asleep already and Jaebeom looked at her for a moment, hoping to feel something. Something that made him want to stay, something that was not guilt, anger or sadness - but there was nothing. He stayed awake the whole night, fighting tears and mostly himself, which seemed to become routine by now.
Soon after that night, he decided that he needed to clear his mind and find out what he really wants. And he thought he did, he thought that what he wanted was to work on his relationship with Eunhwa - his goal to make not only her but also himself happy again. At least that was his goal until he saw you again, two weeks later, once again at Jackson’s, but this time in a less crowded and more private setting. Jackson invited his closest friends to a bbq at his house - and of course, you were there too, Jaebeom could’ve guessed that. As your eyes met and he saw you flashing him a smile, your eyes excited to see him again, he felt just as helpless, but deep down also relieved, again. It was only you, Jackson’s girlfriend, Jaebum and the other five boys of their group, a nice gathering of funny and lovely people.
“You know each other?”, Mark, another mutual friend you’ve known for quite some time, asked curiously as you hugged Jaebeom.
“Oh, he took amazing care of me at Jackson’s last party.”, you said laughing, happy that he was there too, just as you secretly hoped.
As the night went on you sat beside him, once again giving him all of your attention - you couldn’t stop thinking about him since you last met him, wishing you would’ve asked for his number. Little did you know about Jaebeom’s girlfriend at that time, nor the fact that Jaebeom too couldn’t stop thinking about you, but he did it in secret, trying to avoid seeing your face in the back of his mind every time he closed his eyes.
The unlabeled thing with you and Jaebum slowly evolved within the next weeks, with you still unaware of Eunhwa and Jaebeom still feeling as guilty and excited at the same time as he always did with you.
You found out about his girlfriend at the worst time possible. At another party of Jackson’s, this time you and Jaebeom texted each other before going.
Y/N: ‘You at Jackson’s tonight?’ Jb: ‘Need a ride? Let me pick you up.’
He was flirting with you all the time - through texts, in the car on the way to the party, he got you your favorite drink as soon as you arrived, he complimented your outfit, he was being the perfect gentleman - it seemed to be too good to be true. Later that night you two were outside once again, all alone this time, his hand resting on your waist as he came closer and you knew what was about to happen.
“You keep saying that we’re friends but you look at me for a moment too long for that to be true.”, you said confidently, not knowing the real reason he hesitated back then.
You saw the smirk on his lips and knew that at that moment the handsome boy was feeling the same exact thing as you. Jaebeom knew too by now - he knew he wanted you, he couldn’t stop thinking about you, he tried to fight it but he gave up as his lips moved closer to yours until they finally met and he was almost embarrassed about the feeling this kiss gave him. He hasn’t felt anything that strong in at least two years now, nothing Eunhwa did could compare to this simple but breathtaking kiss. As his hands found your hair he knew he had to break up with her. As his lips wandered down your neck he knew it made no sense to resist you anymore, he was too weak for that. As your hands found him he knew he met you for a reason. As you moved to sit on his lap as he deepened the kiss he knew that he caught some serious feelings for you, too deep to ignore them. And as he was just about to run his hand up your back, pulling you closer to him, making you feel him under you he realized that he couldn’t - he couldn’t lie to Eunhwa and you both.
He broke the kiss, breathless and wanting more, but needing to be serious and honest with you, afraid of destroying everything with you.
“I have a girlfriend.”, he blurted out, knowing there would be no right way to say this. Thinking about that moment now it still gave you a strong and uncomfortable feeling, as if you fell down a high cliff and just never arrived at the bottom, helpless and confused.
You thought you misheard for a second, letting out a chuckle - before realizing what he just said was true. Part of you wanted to slap him across the face, leaving right there. Another part of you wanted to not care, wanted to continue and forget what he just said. Yet another part was dissappointed in him, you thought you knew him - he didn’t seem to be a bad guy. But the biggest part of you wanted an explanation more than anything.
He closed his eyes in frustration for a second and let out a deep sigh before looking into your eyes, the pain in it hurt him more than the fact that he just cheated on his girlfriend, “I’m so sorry.”, he said, still holding you close to him on his lap, hoping you’d stay right there, “Not only for lying to you but also for doing this to her.”
You nodded slowly, not knowing how to handle the situation, “Why are you doing this to her then? I’m asking because I’ve seen the way you look at me.”, you gulped as you felt his thumb drawing small circles on your back.
Jaebeom looked concerned, looking for the right words to express his thoughts - he felt like you should know them all. “Her name is Eunhwa. I know her since my teen years, we’ve been dating for six years and I loved her so much.”, you noticed the use of past tense and it felt like a sword in your stomach, but you didn’t want to interrupt him, “I haven’t been happy with her in a long time but I’m too afraid to break up with her. She deserves someone who is excited to see her after a long day and cheers her up when she’s sad instead of how cold I have been treating her.”, you saw tears building up in his eyes but you still wanted to hear the rest he had to say, so you stayed quiet, trying to grab at least one clear thought.
“I didn’t know how to end things after everything we’ve been through. Nothing I do seems to be fair towards her and sitting here with you is by far the worst thing I could’ve done to her.”, he said, not meeting your eyes anymore, not even knowing what he was trying to say, he just said whatever came to his mind.
By now your voice was only a whisper, you didn’t feel offended at all, more hurt. “You still didn’t answer my question though.”, you said, turning your head towards his so he was forced to look at you for a second, hoping it would calm him down a bit. “Why did you flirt with me, texted me, even kissed me?”
He was surprised that you were even having this conversation with him when you could have just left him right there, “Since I saw you at Jackson’s the first time I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I tried to stop myself from thinking of you, looking at your pictures or even text you but I couldn’t.”, he confessed and you were, somehow, not surprised at all. You felt the same way about him since the beginning and you always got the same vibe from him. The thought of his girlfriend sitting at home, probably wondering where they went wrong made you sick, like you needed to vomit. You never wanted to be that woman, ever. Guilt and panic rushed over you but you couldn’t bring yourself to regret kissing him.
“I desperately want to take you out for dinner and slow dance with you”, Jaebeom suddenly interrupted your thoughts, making you look at him, “I also want to grip your hair as I watch you writhing underneath me.”, the way he said it so casually send a thousand emotions through your body, as if you didn’t feel enough already, “I want to try being with you, getting to know you better, take you out and introduce you to the friends you haven’t met yet.”
“But you can’t.”, you said, knowing where this conversation was going while you got up from his lap and sat down next beside him again, “You have a girlfriend.”, you said, more to yourself than to him, realizing what it really meant. He shouldn’t say those things to you and you shouldn’t feel these things for him.
“I don’t love her anymore.”, he said, a bit surprised himself because he never admitted it before, not even to himself, “I’m hooked on you, (y/n).”
“Will you stay with me tonight?”, you asked him, not knowing what was going on with you or why you asked that, despite feeling bad and guilty.
Ever since then Jaebeom and you met in secret, texted each other lovely messages in secret, fell in love in secret. Those memories leave you breathless as they all appear in your mind at once as you saw Jaebum standing in your door. It’s been three months since you met each other, which is nothing compared to the time he knows Eunhwa for.
You looked at his beautiful face, waiting for him to say something but nothing came out of his mouth, his eyes were still glued to the ground. Slowly the tension was killing you.
“Jaebeom.”, was all you could say at that moment but it was enough for him to finally look up from his feet and into your eyes. As soon as your eyes met you saw them filling up with tears. “What happened?”, you asked quietly, your voice cracking.
Unable to answer you he rushed into hugging you, pressing you close to his body, one arm fully wrapped around your waist as the other was holding your head, pressing it against his chest. “I told her now.”, he said, his mouth very close to your ear, his voice just as small and quiet as yours before, “I just did.”
You immediately remembered last Friday as he said it - he was at your house, coming straight to you after work like usually, telling Eunhwa he had to work late, and not leaving until midnight. Your relationship with him was more than an affair by now, more than just sex. He talked to you about everything, held you close to him at all times, holding your hand, cooking for you - it was delusional of you to say it was almost perfect, considering the fact that you couldn’t be together. That night, after a steamy shower session you both were cuddled under a blanket in your bed, his head resting on his hand as he studied your face and his thumb was caressing your cheek. “You make me feel so safe.”, he said, looking deep into your eyes.
No question, you loved hearing him say those things but you felt uncomfortable after such a long time of secretly being with each other. Risking it all, you decided to confront him. “I think you need to tell me the truth about how you feel towards me.”, you said, sitting up a bit.
His eyes still were locked with yours as he slowly nodded, “I think it’s about time too, (y/n). I’m absolutely and foolishly in love with you.”, he said, feeling nervous, hoping you’d feel the same way even though it was quite obvious, for what reason would you put up with him otherwise? - he continued, “It has been pretty clear to me from the start. I didn’t expect things to go this way at all, you know that. What about you?”
“Tell Eunhwa, Jaebeom. I think it’s time you talk.”
He sighed, knowing you were right. In the last month, he had barely seen Eunhwa, nor talked to her. “I just don’t know how.”
“Don’t lie to her. Tell her about how you did her wrong, that you met somebody new and that she needs to move on and find someone better, someone, that can give her what she deserves.”
After the talk that night you hadn’t heard from him in over a week. Of course, you decided to give him time and rethink everything, he always felt very sorry towards Eunhwa. After a few days, you thought about calling him but decided you shouldn’t. You weren’t in the position to. He never meant to hurt no one but for a second you wondered if he would really leave her for you or if he didn’t call because he decided he couldn’t.
So, as he just told you, that he broke up with Eunhwa you felt terrible, you know it wasn’t really your fault they broke up - in his heart Jaebeom was long gone, but in the end, you still were the homewrecker.
The two of you just stood there for a while, embracing each other. Every now and then you heard Jaebeom sniffing, he was definitely crying. It wasn’t the first time he was crying in front of you since he often felt troubled in this situation.
A few minutes later you found yourself in your kitchen, making Jaebeom a tea to call him down a bit. He was sitting on your kitchen table, watching your every move until you sat down beside him, placing two cups in front of you. His hand immediately found yours, squeezing it tightly. Even though his eyes were swollen from crying he seemed to be slowly relaxing, by now he unclenched his jaw and relaxed his eyebrows stopped flinching.
“How do you feel?”, he asked you, bring your linked hands up to kiss the back of your hand.
You scoffed a bit, “You’re concerned about how I feel? How do you feel, Jaebeom?”, it was funny to you that he still was worried about you even though he clearly was the miserable one right now.
“I just want you to feel good.”, he said sincerely, looking into your eyes and giving you a small smile before sniffing once again.
“How did she react?”, you asked what concerned you the most.
Now Jaebum let out the desperate chuckle, shaking his head a bit, “Terrible.”, he shrugged his shoulders, not knowing what else to say, “We both cried a lot like you probably already guessed. But that really doesn’t matter now, baby.”
Like a high school girl you felt yourself blushing at the baby, he never called you that before. “God, I hate that. Please don’t do that.”, you said laughing.
He immediately joined your laughter, his face lighting up a tiny bit, making you feel all tingly again, this time in a good way though.
“Oh. I’m sorry to tell you,” he said and paused for a second as he pushed you closer to you, his lips finding your forehead, “From now on I’ll not hold back anymore.”
Within seconds you and Jaebeom were kissing each other deep and passionate and through it all you could feel a smile on his face. As he picked you up to carry you to the bedroom he stopped every now and then to talk to you.
“It feels so good to kiss you like this.”, he said first before immediately kissing you again, giving you no time to answer.
A few seconds later he was giving your nose a kiss, “Let’s go to a restaurant tomorrow, I can’t wait to take you out properly.”
As he let you down onto your bed he looked so satisfied and happy, his kisses became soft and slow as he kissed down your neck and towards your cleavage.
“(Y/N). I love you.”, he said for the first time, looking up at you, “I always knew. But I am so, so, so relieved and lucky I can finally say it out loud. I’ll never leave this bed again.”
You let out a laugh as your hand run through his hair, “I won’t let you leave again.”
