It's strange to see people reacting like Jensen's said something new here. I've listened to pretty much everything he's ever said on the topic and, as far as I can tell, he's always understood that scene to be a confession of romantic love on Cas's part.¹
The part that Jensen's repeatedly pushed back against — and sometimes gotten exasperated or frustrated about — is the insistence of some fans that Dean must reciprocate Cas's feelings. He's been very clear about the fact that he understands Dean to be straight, that he's always played him as straight, and that he's never gotten guidance from writers or directors or showrunners that he should be playing him differently.²
Meanwhile, Jensen has consistently affirmed that Dean feels love for his dearest friends — which includes Cas — but he has also consistently avoided using language that suggests Dean feels romantic love for him, because he doesn't think that Dean does.
That's why Jensen describes their relationship by calling Cas "one of [Dean's] best friends," "one of his closest allies," "not only a brother-in-arms, but one of his closest — the closest people to him," and doesn't describe their relationship by calling Cas "the man he loves" or using other phrases that people usually reserve for romantic partners, like "his everything."³
In any case, what Jensen is trying to say seems pretty clear to me even without the above context, but with it, I'd call it beyond clear. When he says there's nothing to resolve, he's saying that (consistent with what he's said before) Cas & Dean were on the same page by the end of the scene. Dean understood Cas's feelings and Cas understood Dean's.
To spell it out: Cas loved Dean romantically but knew that Dean would never love him back romantically because he was straight (thus, the wanting something he could "never have"). But he realized he could still experience joy in confessing his love and accepting it for what it was, even if it was never reciprocated. And he expresses both of these things to Dean: that he loves him romantically and that he knows that Dean doesn't (can't) reciprocate.
And he's right, so there's really nothing Dean can say to that. Cas knows how Dean feels — that he loves him platonically, that Cas is (in Dean's own words) like a brother to him — and now Dean knows how Cas feels, but it doesn't change anything between them. Dean can't make himself love Cas like Cas loves him. But he also won't stop loving Cas like a brother just because he finds out that Cas's feelings are different, either.
So, while Cas's confession was poignant, it doesn't change who they are to one another or how they would exist in each other's lives.
Thus... there's nothing more to really say about it. The scene included its own catharsis, its own resolution. Setting aside the resulting grief/loss parts (due to Cas's death, not his words), both sides had reached a kind of peace with Cas's confession as it stood.
¹Although, early on, he was more accommodating of the perspective of some fans that it wasn't — clearly trying to be diplomatic — and today, he obviously sees less point in equivocating about that.
²In the past, Jensen's gotten annoyed by repeated assertions that Dean is bi, and people have seemingly mistaken this for him being homophobic or somehow opposed to the idea that Cas has romantic feelings towards Dean, but that interpretation doesn't make sense in the context of his statements as a whole. The problem is, if you're straight & people keep telling you they think you're gay, it's really hard to stop them without seeming like you think there's something wrong with being gay. But it's annoying to have your orientation constantly questioned, just like it's annoying to be misgendered or repeatedly mistaken for pretty much anything you're not.
(And yes, I get that Jensen isn't Dean, but when you're a straight man playing a straight man and people won't stop coming up to you to tell you that your idea of "a straight man" is totally gay/bi, then, yeah, they're basically saying that you're wrong about your own orientation: that you don't understand how a "real" straight man would react to x, y, or z. Basically, "mansplaining" (reverse-mansplaining?) your orientation to you. Or, at the very least, your acting.)
³It's challenging to talk about a relationship where on one side, you've got platonic love, and on the other side, you've got romantic love. If you call them friends, you seem to be dismissing the one person's romantic feelings. But there isn't a better term. That's why Jensen switches (somewhat fumblingly) between terms like "allies" and "friends" and "closest people."
in honor of my own birthday, today i’ll be sharing with you what i think your birthday with many cevans characters would be like. enjoy! <3
steve rogers
he leaves his mission early and unannounced so when you wake up to the smell of pancakes in your house, and a man with breakfast in bed you almost jump out of your skin buuut you couldn’t be happier to see him
breakfast in bed is just the start of your bday because he goes ALL. OUT.
as you finish up eating, he grabs a folded piece of paper with a wax seal on it and hands it to you
he tells you to open it once he leaves, gives you a wink, then goes
he planed a birthday scavenger hunt for you!!!
for the rest of the day, you travel around the city to a bunch of important places in your relationship, like your fav dates n stuff
at the midway point of the hunt, he meets you for a coffee and makes sure you’re still enjoying everything before he sends you off with the avenger’s company card and basically tells you to get something nice before finishing the hunt hehe
you do in fact get yourself something nice
at the end of the hunt, you end up at the compound where all of your friends and teammates are and you have a very nice birthday party
by the time that you and steve go home, you’re exhausted but wanna spend a lil more time savoring your birthday so steve suggests that the two of you watch that one cheesy rom com that you love (and he hates)
as you cuddle on the couch, popping the occasionaly popcorn kernel in your mouth, you cant help but to feel grateful that you have such an amazing boyfriend
ransom drysdale
his birthdays were always disregarded when he grew up, so he has a very extravagant celebration planned for you
we all know that he can make a pretty airtight and elaborate plan so you literally have zero idea of what he’s got up his sleeve
enter: a whole birthday week
(he sweet talked your boss into some time off so thats one whole thing you don’t have to worry about)
day one is a whole spa and a shopping day
he can’t stand some of your friends but he invites them anyway bc he knows it’ll make you happy
he’s glaring at your friends while they giggle about some new louis vuitton purse and you’re thoroughly amused by it
you give him extra kisses that night as a reward for not instigating any fights that day (awww bf of the year am i right ladies?)
day two you guys do a museum hop and look at lots of art
ransom rolls his eyes at canvases that have a few drops of paint on them and are called modern art, you think this is hilarious
day three you have a picnic together in a park
ransom knows you have an affinity for charcuterie boards and attempts to make you one himself (and it’s not all that bad), along with a bunch of dainty little sandwiches
later that day, you go to a planetarium together
on your drive back home you have an interesting convo on the meaning of life
day 4 you take a pottery class together
ransom makes the most deformed bowl you’ve ever seen in your life
so naturally you put it up for display in your bedroom (so whenever you see it you can think of him)
day five is a first class flight to some luxurious villa in europe. most of day five is taken up on a plane
ransom lets you lay your head on him while you sleep, even though the position you’re in is making it astonishingly uncomfortable for him
day six you guys explore the city all day together
ransom makes sure not to complain about his aching legs (even though yours are getting sore too, and if he said something you would’ve done something about it!)
on your real birthday (day seven), ransom takes you out to a very nice dinner, and gives you a hand written letter detailing how much he loves and cares about you (because sometimes it’s hard for him to say his feelings)
you’re extremely flattered but have no idea how you’ll top this for his own birthday
andy barber
you and andy aren’t really huge on big gestures, so he does little things throughout the day
while you’re at work, he makes a surprise stop by and brings you your favorite drink & lunch from your favorite food place
he sends a bouquet of flowers to your job as well
after work, he cooks for you then showers you in gifts
your favorite thing that he gets you is a little engraved necklace with yours and his initials on it
at the end of the day, he gives you a nice full body massage and somehow that was exactly what you needed.
maybe not the most extravagant birthday, but a good one nonetheless.
frank adler
you have a pretty chill birthday with him and mary
he brings you a cake that him and mary made/decorated together
it’s kind of hideous but you love it
you guys let mary skip class for just 1 (one) day but tell her to keep it a secret
you call the school and let her fake being sick in the background. it is a hoot
you all go to the zoo together
you take tons of pictures
your personal favorite is one where mary and frank are posing with a giraffe
after the zoo, you go bowling
when you win, the sore losers that came with you claim they were letting you win since it was your birthday
you end your day at the beach, watching mary and her cat play in the sand in your peripheral vision while you and frank admire the sunset
ah, sweet, sweet domesticity
ari levinson
you go to an escape room to celebrate your birthday
it’s just you and ari, but you’re smart so you don’t expect it to be too difficult
🚨wrong🚨
you’re both so hard headed and stubborn that doing any of the tasks is like pulling teeth
eventually the building had to close, and you’ve only finished like... a few tasks in the hours you’ve been there
this was certainly not a bad birthday though, arguing with ari is one of your favorite pastimes
and this birthday certainly did not disappoint
jake jensen
you and the rest of your team decided to go to a little retro arcade for the first half of the night
you spent way more time than necessary watching jake attempt to beat the high score of some random game
after giving up on beating the highest score on a pac-man machine, jake decided to attempt to win you a prize on the claw machine
like, $20 and a few annoyed humans in line behind him later, it was still nothing
when jake finally gave up, the next person in line won the soft and plushy elephant you had your eye on
and while your back was turned, he may or may not have paid off its rightful owner in order to get it with you
it was too sweet of a gesture for you to even try to be annoyed with jake
a bit later, you decided to partake in a game of laser tag which was going on in the same building
this was fine and dandy buuuut
everyone on your team treated every mission (real or fictional) like the end of the world
this made for a few very interesting matches
jake nearly trampled a child more than one time
good thing everyone was required to sign a waiver before playing
a custody battle over which team got to have cougar seemed to be a consistent theme during the night
when you were on different teams, you couldn’t help but notice that jake was getting a little too much pleasure out of shooting you
it was fine because you were equally enthusiastic about shooting him
you were eventually booted from the game when an employee claimed you were all being too rough
at some point you lost the elephant
but luckily for you, you found it before you went home
you were going to keep that elephant forever
johnny storm
you were genuinely convinced that johnny forgot your birthday
he did not bring it up ONCE the whole day
you’re actually kind of hurt for a while and get all in your head
johnny gets the silent treatment 🙄 (but he deserves it)
you decide to stop moping and go out, since it issss your birthday
you do your makeup and put on a skimpy little dress
as you leave your room and start enter the communal portion of the baxter building, johnny stops you and checks you out
he’s like “where are you going????”
and you’re like “out 😐”
and he’s like “are you sure? 🤨”
and you’re like yes duh
then he gestures to the side really quickly and you’re kinda confused then a whole bunch of people pop out and start cheering for your birthday
you’re kinda embarrassed that you spent so much of the day moping but you quickly get over it because you love a good party
by the time that most of your guests are gone, you force johnny to take you out to the club
and of course you warn him not to ever pull a stunt like that again
Hi I am new to Cockles fandom and went through your manifesto. It blew my mind and thank you for all you do. 👏❤
I love the cardinal rule of Cockles and how this part of fandom is cool about them. But in the recent zoom panel I noticed that Misha and Jensen went out of their ways to make sure that they haven't catched up in a while and don't know much about their lives. They miserably failed at it specially when Jensen did the Okay babe.
Do you think this might be because Cockles shippers are catching up to them and they want to build some boundaries? To saw some "we are just ex co workers" oats?
That meeting was very professional asking each other obvious PR questions because Gish family is still a way to attract audience to Jensen. Still the word around is that they haven't catched up in a while and are work friends only so I think their tactic worked well too.
But I don't believe for a second they haven't been in each others business since the show ended. Way too obvious they were trying too much and it gave out.
hello there, dear, and welcome to the club!
i know this sounds extremely weird coming from the person who literally curated a masterlist of their interactions, but i actually try not to read too much into the minutiae of cockles interactions. by which i mean, if something about one of their interactions feels a little weird or 'off' somehow, i don't give it undue weight compared to the huge mountain of evidence showing how much they consistently care about each other.
i feel like there's a tendency among some younger or newer shippers to do this thing where they fret over these things, like 'they acted so professional' or 'they seemed more distant' or 'they said x thing which could imply x' and then they worry themselves into asking 'do you think they've broken up' and 'do you think they've drifted apart', and i guess i'm just sorta like... not everything is that deep, my dude?
like i don't mean to dismiss anybody or shut you down, but i've been watching the cockles show for eight years straight, and they still look at each other with exactly as much adoration as they did eight years ago. more, really.
if misha felt uncomfortable with the increase in cockles shipping, he wouldn't have posted this in march, and if jensen was uncomfortable, he wouldn't have signed off on this gag reel clip being released. hell, they wouldn't have done the zoom to begin with, cause they knew what they were doing by advertising it to us.
i think that if anything was 'off' about the call, it was probably just them trying not to act too lovey-dovey for the format while also being excited to talk to each other. i honestly don't think it has any significance to it.
long story short? i think everything is fine; don't overthink the little stuff; remind yourself of the big picture. and again, welcome 🤟
You don't think killing Dean the way they did was contradicting to his character arc and development?
Hello, lovely!
As the initial shock of watching Dean die is wearing off more with each passing day, I can tell you that no, I don’t think that killing Dean the way they did was contradicting to his character arc and development.
Let me explain.
And let me be clear, I’m basing this on my hopes and wishes for the narrative, for Dean, and they, in turn, sprung up from my reading of the narrative.
My reading has always, as all meta readings are, been wholly subjective, though I’ve striven to be objective, trying to base my reading in my understanding of narrative structure and possible production choices as much as possible. The initial shock after the finale came from how the delivery of Dean’s endgame stepped outside of what I wanted and had grown to expect in those weeks leading up to it, due to 15x18 and queer love suddenly being a stated part of the narrative.
Letting go of the idea of a long and happy life for Dean with Cas as a human on Earth, because that was simply the framework my brain invented to give them a happily ever after, I’d like to take a look at some of the other hopes and wishes I’ve had for Dean, in no particular order:
Dismantling the toxic masculinity ideal
Non-performance
Open communication and honesty
Self-acceptance leading to self-worth leading to self-actualisation
Integration
Clear sense of identity
Learning to let go of need for control
Learning to trust
Feeling deserving of happiness and embracing it
Ending the codependency
Teamwork and sharing responsibility/not feeling it’s all on him
Admitting to himself that what he longs for is to love and be loved
Believing in deserving to have a future
The world balanced out (no more firewall)
Putting the past to rest
Letting go of Protect Sammy as predominant purpose
Letting go of fear
No more Butch and Sundance/blaze of glory ending
Now, the more I think about all of these things in relation to S15 in general and the final three episodes in particular, the more those finale three episodes make me feel nothing short of delight for our characters. (sorry but it’s true) (I feel the distress of our family and it’s just horrifying but oh I do feel we need to take a breath together and calm down)
Here’s what I see. And what I see may come off as dismissive of people’s frustration and anger and disgust with the finale, but it’s not meant to be. I’ve always read this narrative how I described above, knowing that it’s impossible not to be subjective, but striving for objectivity.
Striving for objectivity by looking at what’s come before, the threads I’ve seen them pulling on, the overarching themes that have been consistent for fifteen years, the character traits that have been explored and narratively stated over and over again, and basing my analysis in these narrative constants.
So first, let us ask ourselves: was Dean’s death foreshadowed in S15?
The simple answer is that yes, it was.
It was foreshadowed by Amara saying that she wanted to release Dean from his anger, it was foreshadowed by Billie asking if it wasn’t time for the sweet release of death, and it was foreshadowed by the heart symbology peppered throughout the entire season.
Had it been coming for a long time?
Well, yes, it had. There were only two ways that his arc could end: him living or him dying, right? He’s died a lot, which is why I thought it should end in him living, finally, but let’s look at what the narrative tells us living constitutes:
fear (of losing his brother and of what’s around the next bend), as Dean admits in 15x17: he’s always afraid
pain, because the pain of losing Cas will never go away
Has Dean decided to deal with that? Yes, he has. He’s decided, by 15x20, to accept the loss, to look to the future, to not give up, to keep on fighting. He’s not even self-destructively looking for a case to distract him: instead he brings Sam to a freaking pie festival. Yeah? Dean is living his life.
This means that we’re shown him as having let go of toxic masculinity because he’s wholly non-performing at the start of 15x20, he’s openly communicating and being honest about the pain he feels over losing Cas, but as opposed to Chuck’s version of the “perfect ending” which was always tragic, where Dean losing Cas meant that he saw no purpose to living or fighting anymore, Dean takes that pain and is able to handle it because?
Because of Cas. Because of Dean internalising Cas’ view of him. Because of Dean being shown in 15x19 to grieve Cas, to want Cas back, to go through the motions (getting drunk etc.), only for him to realise (and yes the execution is lacking but I’m going to go with the narrative we have for the sake of this reading) that Cas isn’t coming back.
By the end of 15x19, Cas’ words have taken such hold that Dean not only eases up on control and is shown to confidently share the responsibility for de-powering Chuck by working as a well-oiled team machine with Jack and Sam - because he trusts them, he’s also symbolically allowed to fully integrate by refusing to kill Chuck, because his Shadow (toxic masculinity as passed along by John the Bad Father Figure) (John also has a good side but he had a very bad side, for sure) no longer holds any sway over Dean, and because of Cas’ words, because of Cas’ faith in him, through Cas’ love for all that Dean is, Dean is given the sense of self-worth needed to finally be able to move into self-acceptance, allowing him to self-actualise, to integrate.
Cas saved Dean’s life AND saved Dean from his crappy self-view. I mean. It’s kinda fucking remarkable that this reading is right there for the taking.
So here we have the narrative ticking boxes like JAYSUS, yeah?
Let’s look it:
Dismantling the toxic masculinity ideal
Non-performance
Open communication and honesty
Self-acceptance leading to self-worth leading to self-actualisation
Integration
Clear sense of identity
Learning to let go of need for control
Learning to trust
Feeling deserving of happiness and embracing it
Teamwork and sharing responsibility/not feeling it’s all on him
Believing in deserving to have a future
The world balanced out (no more firewall)
And this, all of it, is thanks to LOVE.
Because this is a story about love and... love.
So Dean being able to integrate thanks to Cas’ love is, to me, all about Dean opening himself up to the fact that what he wants, truly wants, and has always wanted (and needed, for that matter) is to be loved for who he is, and to allow himself to feel that very same unconditional love for another.
In the act of letting go of needing Cas back to somehow validate that love or validate Dean actually truly being deserving of receiving and giving love, we get the unconditional aspect of it underlined. There’s no dependency anymore. No fear attached to the emotion. Just the love itself, untouched by death. The healthy side to that profound bond that’s always kind of tripped these two up before. I mean. I think it’s kind of breathtaking.
Also, I’ve been told there’s an application that we see on Dean’s desk for him to get a job as a mechanic, which seems to me an underlining that Dean is looking to the future and in so doing is shown to feel deserving of happiness and embracing it. Something that I feel is established at the beginning of the episode, even without this detail, but is brought into focus thanks to it.
Dean doesn’t want to die. He has no desire to die. The implication being that he’s trying to make the best of what he’s got and is completely honest with himself about what he wants. Not owning a bar, but working on cars. The good side of John getting a nod, or so I would say. Especially poignant in an episode so heavily focused on Good Father Figures.
I haven’t seen the detail of this application for myself though, I just trust my sources. :)
Now we get to the meatier part of this reading: Dean and Sam.
What do we have left on the list of hopes and wishes of stuff to be addressed as pertaining to Dean?
We’ve got:
Ending the codependency
Putting the past to rest
Letting go of Protect Sammy as predominant purpose
Letting go of fear
No more Butch and Sundance/blaze of glory ending
I wonder if you might already be seeing where I’m going with this, but for good measure, let’s discuss the death scene and what it narratively results in for Dean and for Sam.
Dean and Sam end up in that barn because they’re two men who will not stand for harm coming to innocent lives, especially when those innocent lives belong to two little kids. This is who they are at their core.
Dean is killed by a vampire wearing a mask. Yeah. Someday perhaps I’ll make proper sense of it. Point is: Dean is impaled on a rusty nail that imbeds itself in his heart and sort of holds him together until the moment of his passing, giving him time to ask his brother to stay (zero performance and only vulnerability) and tell Sam exactly what Sam has always meant to him.
Which, for Dean, is vulnerability on steroids. Honesty times one thousand. In your face true identity flares of beauty.
This scene is stunning. When I watched it the second time around last Saturday I was blown away. Jensen makes this scene what it is, because it is such an absolute mirror of Dean’s scene with Cas and the differences to Jensen’s acting choices are paramount to the emotional significance of either. (oh Misha was extremely paramount to the declaration of love, don’t get me wrong, but here we have Jensen pivotally impactful, since he’s in both)
And through this mirroring we have two major threads of this narrative on display and effectively highlighted and tied up: the familial vs the romantic.
Because this is a story about love and... love.
The thing that I’ve been turning over in my head a lot is the codependency aspect here. I’ve had issues with it. Could it only be broken by Dean’s death?
And no, I don’t think that’s what’s happening here at all.
This moment is absolutely about the codependency breaking. In part. But it’s also about Dean going out bittersweetly, suddenly, without any glory or blaze, and it’s a very human, very real, very grounding moment to me for his arc: he didn’t expect it to be today, but it is.
*i’m seriously cry*
And Sam’s grief is so raw. I wish Sam had gotten to break away on his own. I’ll always wish that for him. That he could’ve seen his worth as a leader and leaned on that and on his love for Eileen, but Sam’s arc was always, always dependent on Dean’s progression, and this is what Dean’s arc needed in his final moment: clarity, honesty, trust, faith, letting go. A voicing of the fear, of the past, of what got them here, of the dependency - it was always you... and me - and both of them choosing, in the moment, to recognise the finality of it.
The entire show has revolved around these two men’s absolute inability to let go of each other and the stupidity and recklessness this inability has resulted in. Choice after choice serving to bring about the near apocalypses they’ve kept finding themselves in.
And reflecting itself in that has been the dependency Dean has felt for Cas’ presence, his annoyance and worry and fear whenever Cas has disappeared, how Dean’s progression has stopped in its tracks whenever Cas has been removed from the narrative.
So for this scene of the familial love allowing a letting go of that dependency to reflect itself once more so beautifully in how the romantic love allowed for a letting go of that dependency is kind of. I don’t even know. Everything glitters?
Dean finding peace ultimately has everything to do with having met, known and fallen in love with and having been loved by this angel of his.
But is that canon?
I mean, it’s subtextual canon, which is good enough for me, because it was all I ever expected and it’s such a blatant statement through the couples in love losing each other leading into Dean and Cas losing each other that there’s just no doubt in my mind how we’re meant to be understanding what these two men mean to each other, and from that draw the conclusions of what it is that’s influencing Dean’s moment of integration.
Does Dean’s death make a statement that happiness and love can only be found in death?
No. It really does not. Because that’s not what the narrative message is. Because Sam finds love and happiness by living his life. And I sincerely disagree with Sam being depicted as being depressed his whole life (the way Dean was with Lisa) because he lost his brother. Sure, there could’ve been pictures of all the found family when Sam is on his death bed, but he’s also thinking about the brother he lost and that’s simply a visual establishing of this fact. Could there have been more? Sure! But that doesn’t mean that all Sam cares about was Dean for all his life, living it in grief and loss.
Sam loves his son, helps his son, laughs with his son, is a good father figure to his son, and this thread is pulled on throughout the episode: the good father figure thread.
Dean’s goodbye to Sam isn’t just a brother saying goodbye to a brother.
It’s a father bidding farewell to his child. It’s a father gently relieved to not have to watch his son die. To get to go first. And yes, sure, that’s sad, but it’s also very human and real and says so much about their relationship.
Dabb era has hit the father/parental thread so hard that the Good Father thread running through this episode makes perfect sense to me.
Dean goes to Heaven not to find Cas, not expecting Cas to be there, but finding Cas there all the same (reward for letting go and having faith that if he’s meant to, and why wouldn’t he be, then he’ll see Cas again *headcanon*), and more than that, learning that Cas has made Heaven what it is now, moved Heaven away from trapping souls in endless memory loops (which was benevolent enough, but completely missed the point of what it means to be human) and that now there’s discovery and exploration and more life to be lived, because Heaven is overflowing with free will, with choice, with all the possibility for longevity and happiness.
The eternity that Dean deserves.
Created for him by Cas.
Cas ensuring Dean’s death is not an ending, but a beginning. That it’s not a prison for Dean’s mind, but instead a homecoming, filled with the prospect of reconnecting with all the people Dean has ever cared about, ever loved.
I mean, the fact that Cas’ prevailing faith in Jack has enabled all this is like strobe lights for the fucking brain.
And the irony is that while I focused entirely on how Cas needed to be grounded and choose to live a human life on Earth, the narrative had other plans (okay yeah the writers) and instead brought Dean to Heaven, and immortality.
It takes away the final obstacles for giving these two a happily ever after.
It also reflects itself in how Mary, in Heaven, is “complete”. She’s with John. She’s at peace. She’s happy. And who have always been fairly strongly tied (through mixtapes and whatnot) to Mary and John Winchester? Yeah.
Also, Cas the angel will never age and will never die, and him with human Dean, watching Dean grow old and die only to go visit Dean in his little Heaven always made me depressed. Human!Cas took care of that, but left the Heaven conundrum wide open. And now it’s just gloriously fixed.
And, speaking of, Cas got to FIX HEAVEN. And he’s fixing it together with his son. All of that faith, all of that struggle, completely rewarded. And Cas building that Heaven in wait for Dean to arrive, because if Dean hadn’t died in that barn (take me back to the night we met...) Dean would’ve died at some point, and Cas can wait, he just wants to make sure there’s happiness waiting for Dean when he arrives. I’m sorry but OMFG. I’m just so happy for our Castiel!!
Could Dean not know happiness on Earth?
I think he was on his way. I think there would always be that pain and that fear, but he was ready to accept that and make the most of it and live his life. Only... his heart is missing, because his heart went away, and perhaps there’s this chance that he’ll find it again, because he always has before, but he doesn’t know, and he doesn't expect it, and that’s okay, he can wait, and then he’s brought to Heaven, and there it is, and he smiles that smile and Heaven is basically complete apart for one final piece.
Because of course Dean would wait for Sam.
Now. I realise this is my reading of this narrative. No one needs to accept it as the begin all, end all reading. I’m only hoping that it will offer a counterweight to the absolute and utter negativity being bandied around as the only true begin all, end all, because I do not see it or believe that it’s all there is to this finale.
There’s beauty here. And discounting it, at least the possibility of it, even if it’s not exactly what I’ve laid out in this reply, because of frustration of not getting textual Destiel is not doing anyone any good. We got subtextual Destiel, we got subtextual bisexual Dean, and it’s confirmed. To my mind, it’s confirmed.
That’s everything I ever dared expect. And that expectation came solely from how clear the subtext has always been, how invested the writers have seemed in it, and the actors too.
And Cas is canonically queer.
Which is fucking amazing and truly enormous and I’ll talk very gently about why I don’t feel his death was a case of BYG in a separate post, but Cas is alive in the narrative as it’s been presented to us, and he’s in love with Dean and they get to be together in the Heaven Dean deserves, remodelled for Dean by Cas. If that’s not the beginning of a happily ever after, then I don’t know what is!
Thanks for asking, love. I’ve been meaning to write all this down and have spent the afternoon doing so. It’s quite cathartic!
Not to be “annoying on main” but like most things here in the year 2020, a lot of the nuance and reason surrounding the fandom’s fight over Dean’s queerness is lost to the wily temptress that is extremity, and I want to throw some stuff out there in case anyone is thinking the same things and just needs to hear that someone else is too.
To my followers and anyone who dares look through my blog (honestly don’t recommend it), it’s obvious I’m someone who enjoys the Dean/Cas pairing. And when I say enjoy, I mean I absolutely get feral about a wide range of topics that involve their relationship, depiction, and reception. I’ve always kept my opinions within the confines of my blog, though, and I’ve never--not once in the decade of my life on Tumblr--gone into inboxes to send hate or even indirect someone with hate or drama on my blog. That shit just ain’t kosher.
That being said, some of the anti-destiel arguments out there have merit.
Like, for example, Destiel shippers not liking the show. Personally, I did like Supernatural originally, but I also recently recommended new watchers who came for Destiel to just watch certain episodes. I’ve stopped watching Supernatural several times throughout my Supernatural journey (which started in real time with season one), because the writing can be down right awful. There were lots of great examples of writing too, but it wasn’t consistent enough for me to keep watching in real time. So I'd watch a season behind on Netflix. At some point, things got bad enough (the bro-dependence, recycled or unimaginative plotlines, the terrible treatment and fridging of female characters) that I did keep coming back for Dean and Cas only (and honestly, it was sometimes only Castiel).
Another worthy anti-destiel point for consideration is the fact that other than destiel shippers, a lot of people who watch Supernatural don’t care about Castiel. This seems to be correct. I’d wager to say that the vast majority of Supernatural watchers did not invest even a portion of time, energy, or emotions in Castiel that we did. That’s cool. I’ve been a casual viewer of a show and been blindsided by things that their fanon saw coming a mile away. Everyone has different perspectives, and the idea that Castiel isn’t integral to the plot when you remove the possibility of Destiel is absolutely correct.
However.
Why did they keep bringing him back? It’s true that he could easily be written out when his relationship with Dean is bro-ified, but his deaths never took until the end (and even then it didn’t). Sure, it could be “pandering,” but if only 1% of the Supernatural fandom ships destiel (as stated in one argument), it seems like a strange choice monetarily. Misha, as a series regular, wasn’t exactly giving out his services for free (eyyoo), so producers and the network wouldn’t give a second thought to the vitroil and threats creators and actors would get if Misha were written off. (Side note: I categorically *hate* the social media accessibility that lets people directly interact so negatively with creators to the point of dangerous conditions. It’s the most ugly and embarrassing side of fandom.)
It could be argued they kept bringing him back because they knew hellers and Cas lovers would continue to buy his Merch and what not, but I can’t imagine the small percentage of viewers who are invested enough in Castiel to buy his Merch would compensate for Misha’s annual salary. (But honestly, numbers aren’t my thing so *shrug*) But it could also be argued that the perceived destiel headache for creators, plus the retention of Misha’s salary, would be enough to get rid of him if not for a crucial role he plays in the show. Creators have repeatedly said that Cas’ whole character revolves around his relationship with Dean, so that means the writers felt that the Cas/Dean relationship was important to the fabric of the show--in whatever way you’d like to see it. Does that mean viewers have to see it that way? Definitely not. But that’s not the story the writers are telling you they’re writing--
Oh, that sounds familiar!
All the textual gay jokes, narrative devices, and creator interactions (not just Misha, but writers, producers, and other actors too) created the metaphorical pink elephant, not the shippers themselves. And to be told otherwise is some gaslighting bullshit. I agree some fans take it too far and freak out at the mere mention of a non-destiel reading, but the foundation for a destiel reading is based in text, not just in the shippers heads. The relationship between the Supernatural creators, actors, and fandom is undoubtedly toxic, which is why I think it makes it easier for them to deny various romantic interpretations of Dean and Castiel's relationship, but (and i hate to do it) in their defense, they definitely wrote enough into the text to justifiably claim Dean's a nohomodudebro. However, they've also written enough into the text to legitimately doubt (not definitively deny) his heterosexuality.
IMO (for the maybe two people wondering) Dean became bisexually coded in a very complicated conglomeration of a homophobic “its funny to be gay” kind of way, the chemistry between Jensen and Misha, countless production decisions, and Castiel’s growing and canonical love for Dean---which all makes the matter impossible to ignore. On more than one occasion the writers made choices that welcomed a destiel reading--not confirmed--but welcomed (which is, wait for it, queerbaiting!). I’d be shocked if no one read Dean as being queer coded and secretly in love with Castiel, who btw, is absolutely 100% romantically in love with Dean Winchester. The writers kept making decisions that fed hellers so well because Castiel is in love with Dean. It’s not just Misha who has confirmed it btw, but the writers themselves. You’re allowed to read it differently, just like destiel shippers read Dean differently than the writers have claimed, but you don’t get to tell other people they’re wrong--just like destiel shipping should never have gotten to the point were anyone who didn’t see destiel was reading the show wrong. However, the difference between saying Cas’ love is platonic and saying Dean’s love is queer is the difference between having zero textual evidence for a platonic reading of Cas’ love, and having lots of textual evidence for Dean’s heterosexuality. (Personally? My headcannon for Dean fluctuates between “so closeted he doesn’t even know he’s actually bisexual” and “very much aware he’s also into dudes but is pushing it down because : Winchester ™.” However, I’m more than happy to admit that my headcannon can’t be reasonably confirmed as fact. It can, however and like most headcannons within the destiel fandom, be comprehensively and intelligently argued to the point of exhaustion.)
The only reason to deny that 1.) it’s reasonable to read Dean as being queer-coded, not canonically bisexual, but queer-coded via textual and production decisions, and 2.) Castiel is romantically in love with Dean-- is if you’re someone who can’t give credit to the opposition just because they’re the opposition. Just because I hate Trump and think he’s the spawn of Putin’s asshole doesn’t mean I can’t admit he did *some* good work for criminal justice reform. The credibility of your argument goes to crap when you can’t admit when someone else has a good point- even if you don’t agree with their overarching theory or idea.
Obviously, the state of the Supernatural fandom is pretty much what it will be forever. Getting thousands of people to admit that its normal to find evidence to support an argument you don’t agree with (something philosophers do all the time because there is no such thing as truth and the world isn’t black and white and its shades of grey that make the rainbow bright and on and on and on), is definitely not in the cards for us. But, this is just me, throwing my altogether unnecessary opinion out there.
(If you’re one of those people that like to troll people just for having an opinion and expressing it respectfully, please consider not doing that. I am but a baby in a trench coat.)
Jared was having a rough day, and Jensen, of course, was bound and determined to do everything in his power to make things better/easier for his struggling hubby.
He decided that he should definitely be there at Jared’s side no matter what.
That was a solid necessity.
100%.
Fan: “Welcome, Jared.”
Jensen: “I’m not supposed to be here.”
And once he was there by Jared’s side, he just had to do a quick little thing so that the audience didn’t think he was being too hover-y and overprotective.
That thing consisted of him being all like ‘I’ll just go...’ even though he knew that Jared would immediately nip THAT terrible idea right in the bud.
Which, shocker, he did.
Jensen: “I’ll just go.” *starts to fake-leave*
Jared: “No! No.”
Once that was settled, Jensen’s new mission was to make sure that nothing was too overwhelming for Jared or happening too quickly.
Rich: “Let’s field some questions.”
Jensen: “Hang on! You’re jumping the gun, here!”
(also in the mission outline: providing distractions/entertainment/etc. like blowing bubbles, singing, all kinds of fun stuff to take some of the pressure off of Jared)
Of course it was very very important for him to compliment Jared’s beauty, because that’s just something we all need to hear when we’re feeling yucky.
And in Jared’s case, I’m pretty sure there’s actually literally nothing in this universe that could make him anything other than a spectacular thing of beauty by absolutely everyone’s standards, so there’s that too.
Jared: “I’m not feeling so hot.”
Jensen: “I think you look amazing.”
-okay and speaking of beauty, we can’t forget that a crucial element of supporting your husband when he needs some extra lovin’ is to remind him that he’s got an awesome butt.
^ Jared’s bubble butt
heh, see what I did there?
Because actually there were bubbles on his butt, in case you were not aware. And also obviously he has the sexiest bubble-butt ever even without the bubbles.
Jensen’s thoughts while he’s watching Jared trying to get the bubbles off of his butt: hmm, how can I comment on Jared’s great ass in a way that won’t draw too much attention?
Aha! Got it.
Jensen (fondly): “Quit showing off.”
Translation: “Your butt is one of your many superior assets and by saying ‘quit showing off’ it’s clear that I am blatantly watching and thinking about your butt and please for the love of god do not quit shimmying it around and swatting at it.”
One of your superior ass-ets. Heh.
Jensen ensured that Jared remained hydrated as well by bringing him water-
-which they then both drank (same cup) just in case there were any stragglers left on the planet who hadn’t yet noticed their extreme husbandly husbanding.
And, yes...Jensen finally did leave Jared’s side...
But not because he was like ‘well, I’ve probably been up here for long enough’ or anything like that.
Nahhh.
He had to be firmly ushered off the stage for his autos.
*********
And that is the wonderful jib9 tale of Jensen being a protective, doting husband.
Except, one more thing, just because I love it-
Jensen staring intensely at Jared from behind-
-and Jared doing the thing he does where he feels it like a heat lamp on the back of his neck and turns around all blushily and flirtily-flustured.
Chapter Summary: The Christmas festivities have come to an end, and now it’s time for the last couple of hours before you and Jensen head home.
Pairing: (single) Jensen x Reader
Warnings: Fluff, Slight Smut, and Cussing
Word Count: 3600
A/N: Sorry it’s taken so long, but enjoy!!! Also, don’t know why my gifs aren’t working. Let me know if it’s just showing up as a picture.
Part 24:
The Christmas festivities continued, and you found yourself smiling every second of them seeing how well Jensen got along with your family. It wasn’t like he was a celebrity anymore, but just a family friend that you had all known forever.
The rest of the day consisted of games, puzzles, conversations filled with laughs, and lots of food. Your family was known for making more than you could all eat. Not that you or Jensen were complaining though.
You ended the day with a bonfire in the backyard where your mom forced you and Charlie to sing duets. Eventually Zoe convinced Jensen to sing a song, then that led to a duet with you two as well. It wasn’t until midnight that you all were headed to bed to get some rest for tomorrow which was the last day before you headed home later that evening.
“Well, today was definitely-”Jensen started sitting on the side of your bed after he had changed to sleep.
“Exhausting.” You huffed out falling next to him on the bed, but fully laying down as you crashed onto it.
“Ha-ha!” Jensen chuckled in a low rumble. “That’s one word, but I was actually going to say nice. Better than nice actually.” He said turning to look at you. You smiled at him. He gave you a grin back before following your motion and laying next to you. “Your family is awesome. They were so welcoming, and fun to hang out with. I really enjoyed myself.” He said turning his head to make complete eye contact with you. Y/E/C eyes meeting his vibrant green ones.
“Well, I’m really happy that you could come. Now you know where I get all my crazy from.” You giggled looking up at the ceiling.
Jensen never turned to look away from you though. “Thank you.” He said softly.
“For what?” you asked turning and fluttering your eyelashes.
“For bringing me here. I know some stuff went down before we left, and not that you have to tell me, but I’m glad you invited me here.” He said sitting up on his elbows, and turning his body to you so he was on his side.
You mimicked his motion, and gave him a soft smile remembering everything that happened with Cole.
“I’m assuming you already know what went down with Cole since it was kinda obvious.” You said looking at your hands and anywhere but him. “It just- It wasn’t want I wanted. I thought we had something, but as time went on-“
“Y/N, you don’t have to explain yourself. What happened, happened.” He gently grabbed your chin bringing your attention to him. In a spilt second you saw his eyes go down to your lips, and you could feel that familiar fire starting to burn on your face. “Honestly, I can’t say I’m too upset about the outcome though.”
“What do you mean?” you asked in a whisper now looking at his lips, and realizing how close your bodies were.
“I don’t think Cole was the one for you… I think there’s someone out there who can give you so. Much. More.” He said slowly and in a deep tone.
Your eyes snapped to his at that comment. He was looking right at you, but slowly his forest green orbs went back to your lips. You could feel the electricity of his fingers still on your chin. Next thing you knew, you were both leaning in slowly, until your breaths were mixing.
Then in a split second, his lips were hitting yours. It started out slow and soft, then quickly moved to needy. He moved his hand from your chin to your cheek, and you started to sit up to get a better angle. In just seconds, you moved to straddle his hips. Jensen groaned at the movement, and wrapped his hands around your waist, and you placed both of your hands on his face pulling him closer… if that were possible. Subtly, you felt Jensen’s tongue slowly begin to ask for entrance, to make the kiss more passionate. Without hesitation, you opened up to him. You were both fighting for dominance, and it was getting hotter by the second.
Just a minute into your heavy make out session, you heard a knock at your door followed by your dad’s voice. You quickly scurried off of Jensen leaving him on the bed panting, and you a few feet away from the door trying to catch your breath as well.
In a hurry, you turned to open the door cracking it so just your body was showing and not the disgruntled Jensen on the bed.
“Hey, dad. What’s up?” you said casually. He eyed you seeing your cheeks completely red, but pushed aside his thoughts.
“I need your help with something out in the shop. Mind giving me a hand?” he asked pointing back toward the hall.
“Now? It’s half past midnight. Can we do it tomorrow?” you asked slightly wanting to get back to Jensen, and also because you really were tired.
“It’ll only take 5 minutes’ tops. It’s something I got to send out tomorrow morning, and I want to get it done and over with so I don’t have to mess with it then.” You stuck out a pouty lip showing him how reluctant you were. “If we do it now, then I won’t have to wake you up at 6 am.” he bribed.
You sighed, and turned your head back to your room. “Sure, let me grab a jacket.” You sighed. “I’ll meet you out there.”
He nodded and started to make his way outside.
When you turned around Jensen was sitting there rubbing his hands down his pajama pants. Nervous? You gave him a soft smile.
“So, I guess I need to help my dad with something.”
“Yeah, yeah!” he said his voice cracking slightly. Yep, definitely nervous. “You go do that. I’m extremely tired anyway. Probably going to be knocked out by the time you get back.” He said patting the bed trying to play off his nerves from the previous moment.
You chuckled finding his anxious self adorable. “Ok, well I’ll be back in 10 minutes.” You grabbed a light jacket and put it on as you walked over to him. He eyed you the whole time wondering what your next move was going to be. You leaned in giving him a small kiss on the cheek. The tension in his shoulder slowly relaxing. “Get some sleep Jensen. It’s been a long day.” You said with a smirk as you walked back to the door giving him one last glance before leaving.
“Long day indeed.” He sighed a half grin slowly forming on his face as he thought about the kiss, and got comfortable in bed. Like he said, he definitely was tired and fell asleep in an instant. Even though he wanted to wait for you, exhaustion won.
__
You helped your dad make a few adjustments to his latest project, then headed back to the room. Jensen left the bedside lamp on for you, but sure enough when you got back to the room he was already snoring. You giggled at his placement on the side of the bed where it met the wall and closed him in.
You took off your jacket, and put on some pajama shorts before carefully sneaking into the bed in hopes not to wake him. Once you were under the covers, you turned to turn off the lights, and re-adjusted to a comfortable position.
Just before you could get comfortable, those strong arms you woke up to this morning shifted around your waist, and pulled you as close to their owner as possible. You slowly turned in his grip so that you were facing him. He had a cocky smile on his face, but he was completely asleep. A smile formed on your face just looking at him, and you brought a hand up to dust over his features.
Instinctively, he leaned into your touch and sighed happily while he pulled you in more. Your smile was so big that your face was beginning to hurt. But as the world would have it, you were completely drained from the day, and eventually your eyes started to shutter shut. You curled into Jensen, and both of you had the best night of sleep you had in a long time.
__
You woke up to the sunlight gleaming in through a small crack in the curtains. You blinked it away and tried to focus your eyes on your surroundings. As you shifted in your spot, you realized you couldn’t get far. Like the morning before, and seconds before you fell asleep last night, Jensen’s arms had a hold on you. You smiled as you turned and were met face to face with his stunning looks. It looked like he was asleep, but seconds later he let out a mumbled and sleep filled comment.
“Morning Sweetheart.” He smiled with his eyes still close.
“Morning.” You replied smiling at his sleepy state.
“Did you sleep well?” he asked as he shifted to pull closer to you.
It was just now hitting you. Was something going on here? Should you be listening to these feelings? I mean he was your roommate. Gen and you decided that it would be safer to keep a distance. You didn’t want things to be awkward if it didn’t work out. But on the other hand… he looked so cute with sleep masking his face. His hair was all spiked up on one side, and he had this smirk on his face that made you weak in the knees. His eyes weren’t even open yet he managed to make you feel all giddy inside. No special look required. Just his presence.
“Y/N?” he said eyes now open and giving you a worried look.
“Hmm?” you hummed sitting up quickly.
He looked at your nervous state, and got anxious at what was working through your mind. He could feel you watching him, but as soon as he spoke it was like all the ease that was in the moment vanished. You looked tense, and freaked out.
He rubbed his eyes, and slowly sat up like you.
“Are you ok?” he asked putting a hand gently on your back. It sent a shock through your whole body.
“Hmm? What?” you shot your head his way. Eyes wide. “No, No… Just fine! Just that umm…” you paused and looked out in the distance.
“Y/N?”
“Sorry! I umm… I need to-“ you swung your legs over the bed in a hurry, and threw the blankets off of you. You were wearing and old oversized t-shirt and sleep shorts, but the shirt was so big you could hardly see the shorts. It was giving Jensen some ideas, and making him think to last night when you were-
“I’m going to go to the bathroom real fast!” you exclaimed throwing him out of his thoughts.
You quickly opened the door, and shut it behind you as you ran down the hall to the bathroom.
“Ok, that was weird.” Jensen said from his spot that he hadn’t moved from. He looked down and started thinking of last night. “Shit. I probably scared her.” he said running a hand down his face. “But she definitely didn’t fight me on it.” He thought back. “If anything she was perfectly fine with what happened. I mean the way she-“ he cut himself off and shivered thinking back to the late night activity. He let out a long sigh. “We’re going to have to talk.”
__
You went about your day doing some last minute things with the family before you left that evening for Austin.
So many thoughts were going through your head and you weren’t sure how to approach Jensen about what went down last night. I mean you weren’t against it, and you definitely enjoyed what happened, but you were thinking of the big picture. You guys were roommates, and had become really good friends. Plus, you had Jared and Gen as close friends and if things didn’t work out then that would be super awkward for a number of reasons. You kinda avoided Jensen most of the morning, so when Zoe and Sadie asked if you wanted to go into the city to do some shopping, you jumped at the opportunity to leave the house. You just needed some space away from Jensen to center your mind.
“Hey.” You said walking into the shop where your dad had stolen Jensen and Charlie.
All heads turned your way, Jensen’s being the first. He looked at you with curiosity in his eyes. He was probably trying to figure out what was going on in that head of yours, but you didn’t even know what was going on.
“Sadie, Zoe, and I are going to head into the city for a few hours. We wanted to have some girl time before we left later today.” You smiled trying to hide any anxiety you had.
“Ok, sounds good Monkey. Did you ask your mom if she wanted to go?” your dad said going back to his project.
“Umm, yeah. She said something about writing a presentation for work.” You said shrugging.
“Oh, yeah. I tell you that woman never takes a break.” Your dad chuckled. “Hey, Charlie hand me that drill will ya?”
“And you certainly do dad.” You said sarcastically rolling your eyes but still grinning.
“Hey now! This is fun for me. I don’t see it as work.” He brushed you off.
“Whatever you say...” You laughed. “So you guys good in here? I can trust you to take care of Jensen and not scare him off?” you asked raising an eyebrow.
“If he hasn’t run off yet, I think he should be fine.” Charlie answered patting Jensen on the back.
You looked at Jensen to see if he was really ok.
“I’m fine.” He chuckled. “You go have a day with your sisters.” He waved you off with a smile.
You pursed you lips, and slowly turned it to a soft smile.
“Ok, you boys have fun. Bentley is staying here with mom. Oh and dad?” you asked getting his attention. “Don’t let Jensen get hurt ok? He gets paid to look pretty. Can’t have him getting any injuries from your woodwork.” You winked starting to walk out.
“Can’t make any promises.” Your dad yelled after you. All the boys laughing as you left.
What you didn’t see was Jensen watching you walk out until you were completely gone. As much as you were thinking about it, he was too.
__
“I’m sorry… YOU WHAT NOW!” Sadie practically screamed in the middle of the mall.
The herd of people around you turned at that, and gave you both weird looks.
“Sorry.” You mouthed to them before turning to Sadie. “Would you keep it down? The whole world doesn’t need to know about my life! Plus, I don’t want Zoe to hear.”
Zoe had gone into this cute boutique that was having a major after Christmas sale, but you and Sadie decided to stay outside since the store was filled to the max. That’s when you decided to tell Sadie about what went down last night with Jensen. You weren’t sure how Zoe would react to it considering she has had a crush on Jensen as long as she had been watching the show. So for 8 years or more now.
“Ok, you can’t drop this on me and expect me NOT to freak out.” Sadie said with multiple hand gestures.
“Hey, I was just asking for advice, and you started screaming!” you countered.
“Because you freaking made out with JENSEN ACKLES!” she shouted again.
“SADIE!” you shouted back grabbing her hands that were above her head. “Zoe, remember?”
“Sorry. Sorry.” She said trying to whisper. “Listen, this is big.”
“You think I don’t know that? That’s the whole point of the conversation.” You rolled your eyes.
“And why can’t we tell Zoe?”
You raised an eyebrow at her. It took her a second, but eventually she scoffed.
“Ok, I mean I get it, but it’s Zoe. She would be so excited for you.” She said.
“I think your thinking of the wrong Zoe here.”
“No, I’m thinking of the Zoe that’s your sister, and wants to see you happy after all the shit you’ve been through with past relationships. Plus, she’s more in love with ‘Dean Winchester’ than she is with Jensen.” Sadie shrugged.
“I beg to differ.” You huffed taking a seat on a nearby bench.
“Ok, so push that aside for a minute cause I know I’m right, but let's dig into the feelings portion of this.” Sadie walked over and sat next to you. “So who ignited the kiss?”
“Well, honestly I’m not sure.” You said thinking back.
“You don’t know?”
“I mean we were staring at each other, and then next thing you know we were leaning in and… making out.”
“Ok, so it was mutual.”
“I mean I guess, but he was giving me these-these eyes. You know those vibrant green rainforest tree colored-“ You looked over seeing her giving you a knowing smile. “Ok, I see what’s happening.” You huffed.
“You guys like each other. All you need to do is talk about it. Not with other people, but each other.” She said crossing her legs like she had solved the case.
“But it’s not that easy.” You said turning in your spot to face her completely. “Say we do have the same feeling, and we did start dating.”
“I’m not seeing the issue here.”
“The ISSUE is if we were to break up, how the hell would we be able to live together.”
“You move out. By then you should have enough money to get a better apartment, and you go and move out.”
“But we have such a good relationship now. I-I don’t want to ruin it.” You sighed defeated.
“It’s only ruined if you allow it be that way.” She said making your attention drift back to her. “Listen, if you guys really are that good of friends, you will stay friends even if the relationship fails. Also, why are you so focused on the relationship ending? Where’s the positive side of this conversation?”
“I-“
“No, I want you to give me five reasons this could go all right instead of all wrong.” She said cutting you off. “And hurry if you don’t want your sister to hear, cause I’m going to make you say them whether she’s here or not.”
You huffed out a breath showing you were over her bossiness, but she just stared at you with a raised eyebrow until you started talking.
“Ok, FINE!” you crossed your arms as you went to think of the good outcomes. “One. Jared, Gen, Jensen, and I could all go one double dates. Two. Mom and dad like him. Three. I wouldn’t have to move again.” You chuckled only getting a glare from Sadie to be serious. “Ok, ok. Four, he gives me butterflies when I’m around him whether I want to admit it or not. Five… I would be in a good relationship with a really good guy.” You smiled.
“See, I’m seeing more good than bad of this happening.” Sadie said proudly.
“Ok, when did you become the counselor, and I became the student?” you said slightly pushing her.
“Hey, we all need a little counseling sometimes.” She said wrapping an arm around your shoulder.
You gave each other a quick side hug, and stayed like that until Zoe came out of the boutique.
“Ok, you girls ready?” Zoe asked with two new bags.
“Yes!” you shouted jumping up from your seat. “I can only handle the mall for so long before I go crazy from all the crowds.” You huffed already headed to the exit.
“Geez, if you didn’t want to come, you could’ve stayed home.” Zoe teased bumping your hip with hers.
“Oh, hush. I can only get through it if I have my two best gals by my side. Plus, I need some girl time before I left.” You said wrapping an arm around both of them.
“I’ve missed you Y/N/N. I wished you came and visited more.” Zoe said in sad tone.
“Hey.” You said facing her. “I’m just a call away. I’ll fly up here, or fly you down to me whenever you want.” You winked.
“I know.” She smiled. “But I guess I’ll see you for ACL soon.” She winked back.
“You’re more than welcome to come before that too.” You said squeezing her shoulder as you continued walking to the car. “Now, let’s get home to check on the boys.”
__
As you pulled into the house, Zoe grabbed her things and started heading for the door, but Sadie pulled you back.
“Y/N. I know your dreading it, but you guys do need to talk about it. Whether that be now, in the airport, or on the plane. Preferably, before you get home. It’ll just be awkward tension until then.” She said looking deep into your eyes.
“I know. I know.” You sighed. “I’ll do it I promise. It’s bugging me just ignoring it.”
“Good. Now, let’s go. I need to see my baby.” She said speeding up to head inside.
You rolled your eyes at her with a small smile, and followed behind.
A miniature heller sent a question to a big shot heller. Apparently because the big shot heller has all the answers. Forgive the grammatical errors. Hellers are known for their lack of intelligence. Kindly tolerate it. The person who sent this to me, said that she felt bad touched. I agree.
Question
i just really wanna know your thoughts on this: let's say extremely hypothetically that spn decided to make destiel canon, and not even in an overly overt way, but maybe they just make dean and cas chastely kiss once or twice & up the affection just a notch. do you even think jensen would be okay with that at all? would he be totally against it and prevent it altogether? just seems to me he wouldn't be open to it at all
The shocking answer
okay i could be totally off with this, but here’s my theory
if they decided to make destiel canon, they’d talk to both jensen and misha about it beforehand. we know for a fact that the only time the production staff asked the actors for “permission” to do something was for the french mistake, and i think destiel would be a similar situation. they’d give the actors the courtesy of warning them, not because they’re required to, but because they involve the actors in more decisions than most other tv shows. so jensen would know that it’s coming and would be able to air all his grievances before it happens. and the production staff would probably do a good job of convincing him that it’s the right decision for the show.
Madame Poop-for-brains doesn't realize that the writer's room handles decision making, not the production staff. She says ''Jensen will be asked'', followed by 'he will be convinced'. In other words, they will force him. And she is ok with sexual coercion.
no but seriously, i’ll say it again and i’ll say it every day for the rest of my life: actors don’t get to make decisions. actors have almost no power whatsoever when it comes to the production of a tv show or movie or whatever. i went to a very christian high school and i was on the acting team, and something we talked a lot about was how much we’d be willing to do for a role. we agreed that if u want to make it in acting, u have to be willing to be naked onstage, do a sex scene onstage, all kinds of naughty stuff that christians shouldn’t do. but guess what! actors who refuse to do things…..don’t make it very far. their job is,,,,to do things. to follow directions. to realize the vision of the production staff through their performance. EVEN IF THEY DON’T LIKE IT!!! (and yes, this means acting can be a morally ambiguous career. i’m glad i don’t act anymore; too stressful.)
Jensen marched to the show runner's office to rant over the 200th episode being titled ''Fan Fiction'' because he feared it was going to be about destiel. He removed that stupid ''I love you'' line from the Crypt. He also changed an entire set of dialogues regarding that insufferable trench coat. He is allowed carte blanche when it comes to artistic decision. From Michael's character to his wardrobe, almost all the artistic credit for Michael goes to Jensen.
now, spn is a LITTLE different. j2 are in a very, very rare position where they know that the show doesn’t exist without them. they have a *little* more power than most actors do. enough to change lines in a script or adlib something - but definitely NOT enough to stop a major plot point from happening. if jensen refused to do something as dramatic as kissing misha collins, he would be blacklisted. he would likely never be hired again. it would be career suicide.
This creature needs a clue. Actors get blacklisted for the following reasons, many of which match Misha, not Jensen:
Consistent bad behavior on and off set. [Like lying that he was mugged and getting caught out by mass media]
Unprofitable box office records [Misha is too much of a nobody for this one]
Bad acting [Like Empty!Cas and Hitler!Cas]
Lack of viewer interest [Outside of destiel, nobody cares about Misha Collins]
Being a one hit wonder [Misha is only famous - or infamous - for Cas]
Having terrible acting range [Misha can only play Cas. He gets laughed at for other characters. By his co-workers, no less.]
Making damaging artistic decisions [like the Empty voice, that Jensen laughed at, on stage, in front of everyone]
Being pigeon-holed into characters types and genres
Taking too long a hiatus from acting [how I wish Misha will do that]
Playing a character so annoying that audience don't want to see you again. [Lets see where Misha ends up after Supernatural]
Taking ambitious projects, thereby acting out of your box, badly [like Hitler!Cas]
…..and do i believe he’d sacrifice his career by being, for lack of a better term, homophobic? no, i don’t. i don’t think he’s that dumb or that homophobic.
There's the scary word they use to harass Jensen. ''Be our whore or we will destroy your reputation''.
if the powers that be decided that destiel needed to happen, no amount of jensen’s possessiveness over dean winchester’s nonexistent heterosexuality or aversion to kissing his big gay crush on camera in front of millions of people is going to stop destiel from being canon. jensen’s job is to say lines and look pretty. he doesn’t get to “”””not allow”””” somethin to happen. that’s not how this works my dudes
WHAT IS JENSEN?!? A $50 WHORE?!!?
Not to mention this whole “Jensen would never allow it” is a BLANTANT AND GROSS insult to the man’s incredible top notch professionalism!
Oh, so he's a professional whore?!?!
These creatures are insufferable. That is why they like Misha. He is a pervert like them. Most fans have too much dignity to fave that freak. Poor Jensen does not deserve this. He deserves respect. He deserves to be left alone.
