— synopsis: it's only april when junhui comes to visit you again. 'only april', when the sun bounces off the water and reflects in your eyes after six years of missing him, and you remind him that you exist. you exist, and you love him.
– genre: lifelong friends to ??? ; angst, minimal fluff.
— pairing: actor!wen junhui x fem!reader
– word count: 3k.
— rating: 18+. minors please do not interact.
– warnings: just some dang yearning. they're stupid. also this is what i was talking about when i was asking you all those questions and especially my question about nikos kazantzakis' april 1923 letter to his wife, galatea.
— what to listen to: if you leave me - seventeen ; silent boarding gate - jun ; soft spot - keshi.
– author's note: [special thanks to @/saradika here on tumblr for these lovely snowflake dividers!] welcome back to haologram! this is a special segment i've created to give a quick thank you to all of my friends this holiday season, and this one is for my absolute best friend in the entire world, my @bottlejeanie, my jeanie in a bottle, my jeanin', my denim jeanies. i love you so dearly and i cannot imagine my life without you (even if i did not remember that you like green and not purple, you are still my absolute favorite person ever) and i truly hope we continue to grow together and see each other live our lives. eventually, not from a distance and hopefully, side by side. i hope you live your dreams and i'm there, and i hope i live mine and you're right by my side. happy haolidays, jeanie! i love you!
"I DON'T LOVE HIM."
You're standing in the middle of the street, your pajamas rumpled and your socks mismatched in every way possible. Your hair is in disarray amd sticking to your forehead, the sheen of sweat twinkling in the street lights. Your chest is heaving and your hands are trembling with adrenaline as you paw at your shirt — likely from the way you sprinted after him whenever you heard the click of the front door.
You wanted to catch him, just before he made the second biggest mistake of your life.
Letting go.
Again.
"What?"
"I don't…I don't love him. I've never loved him."
His back tenses under his shirt as he slides his duffel into the seat of the taxi. It's the same shirt he wore to dinner, and the same shirt he said would be uncomfortable if he slept in it — you shook it off as nonsense, insisting he took the 'very comfortable couch' in your living room instead of 'driving home so late.'
It was foreign to him, the blue suede couch.
There was no home to drive to, anyhow — because he's just visiting.
He's staying in a hotel a few miles away for the first time ever, visiting the only friend he truly kept by his side for the sake of love and history. Visiting the person that used to stay up with him and share beer and delicious food while running his lines and re-reading Nikos Kazantzaki's April 1923 letter to Galatea Kazantzaki over and over again before crashing on the same bed with only an inch of space between them. Visiting the city he left ages ago to find his one true dream — and losing it all in the process.
Leaving the seedling of what he knew was the love he desired, but understanding that the same reasons he fell in love with you would one day grow to be the same reasons behind his disdain for you. It was terrifying to him.
He doesn't look away from you, your eyes reminding him of the swimming marmoris. The yellow lights bounce off your eyes in the same way, and he feels like he's drowning.
He hopes you feel like you're drowning, too.
Things are different now.
He's staying in a hotel for the first time ever, because he came to surprise you and knew youd whine about the apartment not being ready for guests. He came with a bouquet of pink lilies and his weekend duffel — because he knew they were your favorite and because you bought him that duffel when he first told you he'd be leaving.
Because you wanted him to carry you with him.
He came with a smile, a hopeful heard and two layers of lip balm…in case you kissed off the first one — in case you felt the same this time.
He didn't expect a man to open the door, with a stamp of your favorite red lipstick on his cheek. He didn't expect a man, in a pressed blue suit to stare back at him — thickly lashed eyes narrowed as he quietly asked if Junhui was looking for someone in particular before your voice rang in the apartment, asking honey, who is it?
And seeing you for the first time in six years, behind this man in a blue suit that took over the threshold of the apartment he had helped fill with memories. Memories of you and him, him and you…and love.
Love he'd wanted you to reciprocate, but hadn't cared in the moment.
Seeing you, for the first time in six years — standing behind a man in a blue fucking suit and clipping in the first pair of earrings Junhui had ever gotten you…something about it made his heart ache in a way he hadn't known as possible.
The way your eyes widened before you gasped and pushed the man in the blue suit out of the way, enveloping him in the tightest hug he'd ever felt. You'd always felt so warm to him — like fresh bread right out of the oven, the sound of chatter dying down when someone has something special to say and that sparkle, that glow of marmoris in their eyes…
Like you loved him.
"Of course you love him, Y/N. What are you talking about?"
His face is only illuminated by the streetlights, and he hopes it doesn't reveal how tired he is. Tired with bitten lips and the way his frame is riddled with fatigue as he closes the door of the taxi for privacy's sake — but he can't look away from you. He's sure if he does, he'll cave.
He'll cave, like he always has and like he always will if he doesn't walk away for the very last time.
Breathe, Junhui. Just breathe.
"I don't," you're still out of breath, shaking your head as you wipe the sweat off your face, your hands still shaking. "He…I…we're too different. He thinks dinner is enough of a date and he's practically in love with his mother. He likes veal and the very idea of it makes my stomach hurt. He likes math and finances and he talks like a stockbroker and I can't listen to him drone on and on like that forever. He…He can't play piano, not like you do. I've tried to teach him, he just doesn't get it. He doesn't want to get it."
His jaw tightens before he breathes out, his tongue running over the back of each of his teeth to ground himself. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5…
"He doesn't get me, Junhui."
"I don't think I get you, anymore, either."
The world seemingly halts.
He hears your breathing hitch, his lip tucking beneath his teeth and biting down hard as regret courses through him. He can feel his chest ache as he straightens himself, his hands holding onto the top of the taxi before forcing himself to look back at you.
You're still wearing the ring on your hand.
The ring he'd spotted themoment he saw you behind the man in the blue suit, clipping in your earrings.
He doesn't even remember his name, despite spending the entire day by your side and then dinner. He doesn't think he cared to remember it, or learn it — not when your hair was swept back, framing your face and you were scanning the persimmons at the farmer's market…
Until that same hand, bearing that hefty engagement ring, tucked a stray curl behind your ear. Ears that donned those beautiful silver hoops Junhui got you all those years ago, with his very first paycheck after he scored his very first role in Hollywood…
Until he heard the man in the blue suit call you honey from across the lot, holding a freshly wrapped bouquet of white peonies.
You hate peonies.
"What?"
Your eyes are looking straight through him, tears lining the brim heavily and swimming. He closes his own, running a hand over his face as a shaky sigh fell from his lips. He crosses his arms on his chest, annoyed at the way the fabric of his shirt strains against the lean muscle.
"I said, I don't—"
"I heard you."
Your face is blotchy, but no longer sweaty as a singular tear rolls down your cheek. You don't bother wiping it as your eyes flit around him, on him, behind him — searching for something before you tilt your head slightly.
"Why?"
He blinks, clearing his throat as a car whizzes by. A brief distraction for your gaze, making you step closer to the driver's side of the taxi before he feels the heavy heat of your eyes on him again.
"Why, what?"
"Why don't you get me anymore? I haven't changed."
"You have. Change is inevitable."
Junhui knows it's a cop-out.
He knows it's a shitty excuse, to say that you've changed when he knows he has, too. To say that you've changed when he left in hopes of changing enough for you to love him, to want him, to yearn for him the way his heart yearned for you. To say that you've changed, when he knows that leaving in the middle of the night after talking to the man in the blue suit…and realizing you're truly not the same person you used to be — honest.
He knows that you're lying. He knows, in his heart, that you're not just lying to the man in the blue suit but you're also lying to him.
You don't love your fiancé; the man who calls you honey and gets you the most beautiful flowers Junhui has ever seen, even if you don't like them. You don't understand how that's painful, to see the man in the blue suit fight every obstacle you put in place without a second thought that maybe, just maybe — you're trying to avoid loving him. You're trying to make him something he's not, someone he's not.
You're trying to prove a point to yourself. Not him. Not Junhui.
You're lying about being in love with someone for the sake of not hurting him.
And you're lying to Junhui for the sake of keeping him.
Just like he's lying to you for the sake of his sanity.
You don't love him, either. He doesn't think you can, not when you've so clearly moved on. You just can't stand the thought of him leaving, of the last person in your life that promised to love you unconditionally — even after you brutally rejected him — finally realizing he has to walk away.
If you loved him, the way you're about to tell him that you do — why waste time and why pick the man in the blue suit?
Why move him into your apartment, where you've made thousands of memories with Junhui? Why let him into your bed, where you've held Junhui for hours, where you've slept next to him?
Why say yes, when you told Junhui no — and then turn around to try and flip the coin?
"Junhui."
"Please. Don't say you love me. You don't."
"I do," your voice cracks, and he feels the pain of it in his chest. His jaw is unbearably tight as he looks up, the moon nowhere to be seen but two stars — twinkling right next to each other. Almost reaching out. Almost touching.
But he knows they're trillion of miles away from each other.
Could be mistaken for you and him.
"I do love you, Junhui. I look for you everywhere. I can't find you. I can never find you."
"Maybe that's for the best."
"Please. I've been losing my mind without you," your eyes are watery. He could lean closer and see his reflection in them, swimming, drowning in unspoken words and unshared songs and broken sentences he can't seem to piece together. He could lean closer and ignore the sob getting caught in his throat as he speaks.
"You said no. You said no when I wanted more. Why can't I do the same?"
He's not asking you.
He's asking himself.
He feels like it's a fucking movie, the scene in front of him. Like he never departed from LAX, and he never even left the set.
"You come after me in the middle of the night in your pajamas. You say these things, like you know something can change, like you want something to change…and you're still wearing the ring." He breathes out, "you're still wearing the fucking ring, Y/N. He's still a part of you, even when you betray him. And for what? For who? Someone you didn't want when they wanted you? Why did it take this, me coming home, that ring, for you to realize it?"
"I've always wanted you, Junhui."
"You're lying. You're lying and you know you are, Y/N. You have someone and I have no one because I thought…I wanted something and I knew I'd never get it and yet, I still tried. I still made a fool of myself, when you have him. Go to him."
He hears your sniffle, his vision blurring as he glances at you. He can practically hear his heart crumpling in his chest as he watches your trembling fingers pull the diamond ring off, a shaky breath falling from your lips as you take a step closer.
"He's leaving." You blow a breath through your mouth, sniffling as you let more tears fall, "I asked him to leave, after I heard you both talking in the kitchen. I told him that this wasn't what I wanted…the ring, and the peonies, and pretending that I like veal. I tore him open, because I was a coward. I said yes to that first date, because you'd just scored your very first film and you didn't call me. I said yes to being his girlfriend, because your mother called me for the first time since you left and asked me if you'd invited me to the premiere of said movie. I said yes to him moving in, because I caught a whiff of your cologne in the middle of the supermarket and I was too guilty to say that I was in love with another man."
Your hands are still shaking as you hold the ring up to the light.
"I said yes, to this ring, to a life with him…because I wanted you to hurt. I wanted you to get an invitation in the mail and RSVP in the negative because then it means that I won." You glance up at him, your voice exhausted and full of hsame as you shake your head inwardly.
"I wanted you to miss me, and not be able to get me back. You might've left to chase the stars, but you were always one to me. Even when we were getting tipsy and roaming the streets or you were stealing the fries off my salad at our favorite diner or you were fucking reading Nikos Kazantzaki's letter to Galatea like you were professing something to me…you were always a star to me. And then you left me."
Junhui can't breathe as you close your palm around the ring, your eyes squeezing shut.
"If you want to leave…then go. Leave, go back to Los Angeles and find someone who you think will deserve you." You murmur, and Junhui feels the first tear roll down his cheek as he watches you slip your hand into the pocket of your pajama shorts. "Leave, but don't come back. Don't come home, and don't tear me open like this ever again. Not when everything I've ever known has finally fallen and I can't take anything back. Be a star and have everyone love you but please, please don't ever tell me you love me again."
Junhui doesn't say anything, his hand wrapped around the handle of the taxi door. He squeezes it, "I don't even know his name."
"You don't need to know it."
"You don't love me."
You smile sadly, shaking your head before your other hand reaches into the opposite pocket and pulls out a frayed, folded piece of paper. Ink lines bleed through, and he can see the tint of pink highlighter through it as you unfold it.
"Your first play was As You Like It by Shakespeare. It's the program, ha." You hold it up, and you round the taxi as you fold the paper back up, holding it out to him between two fingers. There is less than two feet of distance between you both, and he glances at the paper as you blink at him, "you would've made an excellent Rosalind."
He takes the page from between your fingers, knowing the words that lay between the folds — taken out of context for the sake of romanticization, and terribly, terribly painful in the very pit of his stomach.
I pray you do not fall in love with me, for I am falser than vows made in wine.
He's already done it.
You've already done it.
"Have a safe trip." You whisper, knocking your knuckles softly against the trunk of the taxi. You smile again, bowing your head slightly, "don't forget that I exist."
His skin prickles as you turn on your heel, folding your hands behind you as you walk back towards your apartment.
Junhui feels the weight of a decision heavy on his shoulders, spreading down the expanse of his back and the slim surve of his waist as he watches the soft breeze billow your hair out behind you. You make your way back to the complex, your fingers steadily punching in the gate code when his hand yanks open the taxi door and he expects a jumbled apology to fall from his lips.
"The airport, please."
JUNHUI HASN'T SPOKEN TO YOU SINCE HE LEFT HOME.
No calls. No texts, not even a measly letter.
It's been a year and he's made it a point to overwhelm himself with work, to take on role after role to secret projects but eventually…all things must come to a halt. He'll have to sit down, he'll have to rest, he'll have to snuggle himself into a soft suede chair on Late Nights with Jeonghan and talk about his life for the very first time.
He can't stop talking.
He says everything. He talks about running lines with a lifelong friend in a diner, stealing fries from her Pittsburgh-style salad and reading Nikos Kazantzaki's letter to Galatea. He talks about losing sight of the moon that pulls the tides while counting amongst the stars, he talks about the marmoris that haunts him every time he takes a trip to the Santa Monica pier and just watches the way the sun hits the water and it reminds him of you and your eyes and the tumultuous wave that is Junhui and Y/N, Y/N and Junhui.
"And all I can really think to say is that she saw me. When I was nothing, she saw me." He shrugs, looking in the camera with a soft blush coating his ears. "Y/N, if you see this…don't forget that I exist, and love you."
synopsis: everything with junhui has been a step towards something, but neither of you are very clear on what when it comes to the other.
genre: co-workers to lovers ; angst, fluff.
pairing: office worker!wen junhui x fem!reader
word count: 7.9k
rating: 18+. minors do not interact.
warnings: it's stupidly vague and i'm sorry for that. minimal swearing, i guess? mentions of eating and food. they're just stupid
what to listen to: starstarstar - dosii ; take me - miso ; say yes - seventeen ; heart burn - sunmi ; i was made for lovin' you - kiss.
author's note: i'm going to be honest, i've been having a really hard time with life and i just wanted to write something regardless of deadlines and expectations. i also don't care if it makes sense, i just wanna write. i love my collabs, though, and they will get done. i just want to be vague and mysterious and stupid for a moment in time and not worry. welcome our beloved junhui to the haologram blog <3 i've missed him so dearly. [star dividers] by @/saradika-graphics here on tumblr, and thank you to cam for the bar name! enjoy!
HE SMELLS LIKE LUMBER SOMETIMES.
He smells like the tree trunks he chops for firewood at his cabin on the weekends, and he picks up pinecones. He dusts them off and examines them, and the best one is always promptly delivered to your desk by lunchtime on Monday afternoons.
That was the extent of your relationship with him, and really, any of your co-workers. He’d never spoken a word to you (not that you could remember, anyway) but has somehow figured out that you like pinecones. Particularly not ones that smell like cardboard boxes from the home section at Marshall’s.
No one speaks to you unless they need something, and rarely does someone need something from you as a person.
No invitations to drinks after work – you see them enough as it is. You hang up on remote meetings without saying much of anything, and you’re usually the first to leave the call without so much as a goodbye. Your emails and short and dry, signed off with only your name. You avoid the catered lunches provided by whatever restaurant your company paid out and stick to wedging yourself into the sixth-floor storage room with your package of fruit snacks and a sad turkey sandwich. There was a pink chair in the corner that you liked and tried multiple times to convince Mike (the janitor) to let you have but he refused.
You do not make eye contact during breaks, and you don’t stop by the break room for coffee or complimentary muffins. You lied about why once, when you were asked by a coworker – and absently claimed a gluten allergy, only to be seen eating bread a few hours later. That coworker hasn’t spoken to you since, and you don’t think she plans to.
But him?
He started talking about two years ago, a year after you joined the company. He started talking too much, you could argue, but he would say it’s just enough.
He’s too friendly, you thought. He dropped by your desk with a warm cup of tea every morning, if not your precious Monday morning pinecone. He slid a soft, lemon-blueberry muffin under your nose with a soft smile every once in a while. He asked you to lunch, to drinks, and he always sent you a separate follow-up email after remote meetings when he could very well just add your tasks to the bottom of the mass list he always sends in the group mail.
He was just above you on the corporate ladder, but you felt no pressure to answer him in terms of social interaction. He didn’t make it a point, either – he just existed in your vicinity, and only came into your space when you allowed. Quite like a cat, you are.
He told you about his life, quietly, calmly. He told you about how he learned wushu growing up, and how he played piano. He told you about how he got the cabin as a gift from a friend who was moving abroad, unlikely to return and much less spend time in the quiet woods surrounding your town. He told you about his late-night snacking habit, about his cat, Luna. He told you about his best friend, Minghao, and how he was the best man at his wedding a few years ago.
But above all?
He listened to you.
He looked at you like every word from your mouth held weight, carefully nodding along to your mumbled stories of troubled childhood. He listened to you talk about your favorite dish, your favorite color, even your theories about how middle children suffer the most. He laughed at your wry jokes, the dry humor – though he would bite it back at the deadpan comments you’d make during department meetings.
He always sat next to you in those department meetings. His knee was always just barely brushing yours, the soft material of his slacks making your skin prickle as it touched your bare thigh. He’d pass you doodled notes on his pink stationery with My Melody on the edges. He always adjusted the hem of your skirt down subtly when you stood up and pushed your chair in after you skirted around it. He waited until you’d gathered all your materials to leave, walking alongside you back to your desk even if his was across the office.
And it made people wonder what about you had his attention so deeply.
You’re not interesting to any of them, you never had been. You’re a liar (about a gluten allergy, of all things) and the kind of quiet that made them feel stupid if you looked at them for too long. They felt like you were judging them, when really – you were hoping they’d speed up their long-winded questions to end the painfully awkward social aspect of you fixing their problems.
Sometimes, he’d send you home early to help you escape their judging eyes.
He’d send you an email – the subject line usually only taken up by “🏠?” The body usually contained nothing more than a new picture of Luna, but you always appreciated it.
He’d be looking over the edge of his monitor to watch you hear the dreaded Outlook ding, your eyes slightly lighting up at the sound before really brightening the moment you saw it was him. You’d look over the edge of your monitor, raising a brow that didn’t hide your shy smile as you sent him an email back before quietly packing your bag and slipping out of the office.
It was always just a meme you’d found during your lunchtime Pinterest scroll – one you’re sure he’d seen you add to your shared board.
Because, of all things, he’d chosen to first share his Pinterest with you. You saw his dream home, vintage cars, cool jewelry and the stupid memes he liked you send you in the middle of the night when he was thinking of you.
You still reread that text, he sent it over a year ago.
MESSAGE FROM: Wen Junhui ♡
[2:32AM] of course i think about you.
[2:33AM] i think about you all the time. after breakfast, when you try to sneak out of the office to hide in that storage room upstairs. even outside of work, sometimes i see things i think you’d like. but i mostly think about you now.
[2:34AM] i think it’s a comfort that you pass my mind before i go to bed. or maybe just an association i've made with the fact that i check our board every night to see if you’ve added anything.
[2:35AM] but...i prefer the former, honestly. goodnight, y/n. sleep well. ♡
You added the little heart to his contact name that same night.
Granted, things between you and him never went further. He talked to you, he walked with you around the office, he gave you many ways to contact him outside of work even if you never texted him first. He shared moments of his day with you if you missed work or worked from home – which was rare and always worried him. He would send pictures of a lone pinecone sitting on your mousepad if you weren’t there when he delivered it, followed by whatever random emoji he felt fit the mood. Sometimes it was a hazelnut, sometimes it was a cat.
Sometimes, it was the heart wrapped in a bandage.
You tried not to overthink it.
But it was hard not to notice the whispers about him.
How a lot of your coworkers talked about him, and how cute he is. How sweet, smart, gentle. How he’s soft-spoken until he’s around his friends, even though you knew that his best friend was just as soft spoken. He worked two floors down, Xu Minghao.
You met Minghao and his wife (and the rest of their shared friends) the first time you were ever invited out for drinks – and the first time you ever hesitated to say no.
Junhui managed to get you right in the nick of time, too – right as the clock struck five. You hadn’t even gotten a chance to log out of your programs when he leaned over the wall of your cubicle with a twinkle in his eye that made your chest ache.
“Have a drink with me. My friends are coming, too, but you know. I’ll be there.”
And you had more than a drink – you had a good time. You had three blood orange margaritas and a sip of his beer, but it was like you were shining brighter than a million suns. You let yourself sink into the soft vinyl of the booth, surrounded by him and his scent and his friends. You let yourself talk, out loud and with gusto about everything. You were uninhibited, and you remember how they all warmly smiled as Junhui pushed your hair out of your eyes as you talked about how there was no way the megalodon shark was extinct.
He walked you home that night, the two of you a little too tipsy to navigate the train or drive. He walked on the sidewalk closest to the street and held your pinchy heels in his fingers, letting you skip around and complain about the humidity. He only smiled, his hip bumping yours every once in a while, when you swayed a bit too far.
When you got back to your apartment, he waited against the railing in front of your doorstep to watch you step inside. You remember hesitating before asking him if he wanted to come in for a nightcap.
His eyes widened, and for a moment – he considered it. You saw how his eyes flickered to your lips, before he cleared his throat.
“Maybe another night. Thank you for coming out with me tonight, I hope it wasn’t too overwhelming.”
It hadn’t been, but his soft rejection was certainly disappointing. You shook your head then, staring at him for a split second more before speaking.
“It was nice. I’d...I’d like to do it again, sometime. Just us.”
You smiled softly, before giving him a curt nod and slipping into your apartment before he could respond. You leaned against the door, sliding down the cool wood before hearing him utter a soft goodnight.
Since then, the two of you had gone for drinks over and over again – just the two of you, and with his friends. When it was just you, he’d talk about everything and anything under the sun. But when it was with his friends?
They really liked you, enjoying the excitement that they never saw in the office. One of them, Kwon Soonyoung in finance, offhandedly mentioned that they hadn’t known you and Junhui were friends until he started mentioning you at random moments. Your face had felt hot as the rest of them giggled and agreed, with Minghao’s wife letting it slip that ‘random moments’ meant any time he could.
“Yeah, he brings you up a lot. Oh, Y/N likes this. Y/N would love that. Y/N, Y/N, Y/N. It’s so cute.”
You don’t remember Junhui refuting it, but you remember the flustered blush that settled in his cheeks after that. Things between you and him didn’t change, though.
Until they did – one month, three days later, Junhui got a girlfriend.
It was like he had vanished entirely – gone were the warm cups of tea on your desk, the muffins, the pinecones. No more invites to lunch or drinks with him or his friends. No longer did you receive emails asking if you wanted to go home early, no more pictures of Luna, no more separate follow-up emails outlining your tasks after remote meetings.
None of it really bothered you, until you realized that your shared board hadn’t been updated by him in a while. Then, you noticed it, truly – he'd unfollowed you. Pinterest, Instagram, even Spotify. Spotify!
He didn’t sit next to you at department meetings, either. No more passed notes, no more pushing your chair in. And he rushed out right after, not bothering to even speak to you.
And people noticed.
You hadn’t realized that by allowing yourself to associate with Junhui and his friends, you became more than a blip on people’s radar. People knew your name; they knew your face. The girls gossiped about what he could possibly see in you, unaware that you were reapplying deodorant in one of the stalls. Men speculated about your relationship status, wondering amongst themselves if you were open-minded – while they stood outside for a smoke, making you scrunch your nose in disgust at them for more reasons than one.
People knew you – his friends, still said hello in the hallways. Minghao, gave you warm smiles and extended invites to drinks that you’d swiftly decline – with excuses of working late, of being tired, or whispering that time of the month. He always nodded, smiled...but you knew he didn’t believe you.
Once you realized Junhui was avoiding you for what you believed was a girlfriend, it took you less than twelve hours to get back to your reserved demeanor. As long as you didn’t make noise in your cubicle, no one came around – and people realized then that your gaze wasn’t mean to intimidate or judge, but to time. You didn’t want to talk to anyone you didn’t have to, more than you needed to – and that was bothersome to most of them.
Of course it was; in their minds, they’re great.
They’re a catch, they’re fun to be around.
But they’re not him.
They’ve never cared to ask you a single thing about yourself beyond your relationship status and where you got your shoes. You always just stared until they left or mumbled something about the local department stores.
Things with him never returned to the easy friendship you thought was starting to form, even as you rung in the new year at the company party. It made you sad.
Maybe because you had a bit of a crush on him, actually.
You thought a little too hard about the meanings behind his messages, the pictures of his weekend retreats to his cabin that he insisted you were always welcome at, especially if his friends were there. You missed the shared memes, the shared playlists, the way he’d sometimes find you inside the sixth-floor storage room, sitting on the dusty pink chair that always made him smile a little too fondly.
You liked Junhui, more than just a cubicle crush that you could discuss with your girlfriends that you didn’t have.
But he had one. One that meant more to him than you ever would, even with the way he opened his heart to you.
You thought about what he shared with you – videos of him playing the piano at Minghao’s wedding for his first dance with his wife. He shared his presence and comfort, often walking you home and your hands always brushed. You felt like a schoolgirl every time you’d tuck your hand into your pocket. You once got caught in the rain together and stood under the bus stop before he fished his headphones out of his pocket and gave you one.
He played starstarstar by Dosii as he pulled you out from under the safety of the bus stop, and the two of you walked to your apartment instead. Hand-in-hand, soaked to the bone, with the string of his headphones forcing even more proximity that made your cheeks heat.
You don’t remember who interlaced your fingers. If it was you...you’re still happy. It means he was okay with it, maybe he wanted to.
If it was him?
He definitely wanted to.
However, it’s all filed in your memories now – because you look over your monitor to see his brows fixed in concentration as he types across his keyboard, with you not even a blip on his radar. You watch carefully as he reads his own words over and over, before his eyes flicker up and meet yours.
You’re not surprised when his shoulders sag for the umpteenth time, and he looks away.
Like he wants to say something. Like he wants to talk to you, but the words get caught in his throat and he can’t seem to get them out. It’s been a year since you’ve spoken, and you would’ve forgotten the sound of his voice if he wasn’t your co-worker – but you never forget that night last spring, drenched in the rain.
You would’ve kissed him; you could have kissed him.
It’s spring, again.
You walk to the train station after work in silence, with nothing playing in your headphones for the first time. You sit in between an elderly couple and a lone high school girl absently staring at a long thread of messages on her phone. They’re all left unanswered, and she repeatedly fills the text box with words before deleting them and starting over.
You feel like that girl – except she’s brave enough to ask for answers and you’re gripping your purse in a claustrophobic panic.
It’s a Wednesday in summer when you finally get tired of waiting for answers. Almost a year to the date when he first asked you to get drinks with him, you get an idea.
Have a drink with me tonight.
That's all it says.
You stand over the copy machine, the sticky note you scribbled on moments earlier folded neatly in your hand. You wrote and rewrote it at your desk, your hands trembling and smearing the ink. You had to walk past his desk to submit the paperwork you were making copies of, and you planned to slip it onto his mousepad on the way back to your own.
You don’t get a chance to do that, though.
Your eyes are closed when you hear the copy room door open, but you don’t bother to look up as that same woodsy smell fills your nostrils.
He doesn’t speak, but you know it’s him.
You know, from the smell of lumber and the click of his shoes and the tension that makes you feel suffocated as you peer over your shoulder. He’s silent, thumbing at his own paperwork. He only glances up when he feels your eyes on him, but this time, you don’t look away.
His jacket is gone, sleeves rolled up to his elbows and tie slightly loosened. You’d stare if it wasn’t against girl code to ogle someone else’s man.
You turn, fully facing him as your last copy gets stapled by the machine and slides out. You gather them in your arms, before holding them to your chest and holding the sticky note out to him between two fingers. He glances at the hot pink paper, swallowing carefully before reaching for it.
You give him a soft smile, before spinning on your heel and heading out of the room without a word.
You’re moving at lightning speed to get out of the office before he can get a chance to catch up with you – shoving your copies into your manager’s hands with a rushed run-down of the day’s events and outages. You thank her with a bow, before beelining for your desk and yanking your purse out of the bottom drawer.
You make it to the elevator without him noticing you, your eyes catching a flash of his white shirt and the hot pink paper unfolded in his hand.
You feel your phone buzz in your hand as you reach the lobby.
It’s nearing seven when he finally has the courage to get out of his car.
He’s been sitting in front of the bar for ten minutes, hoping to see you walk by. If you’re late, you won’t notice that he is.
Message From: Y/N ♡
[5:35PM] at dizzy’s
[5:35PM] 6:30?
He waits another three minutes, watching the corner before his hand finally grabs the door handle and pulls.
He sees you almost instantly, sitting quietly at a booth in the back. You’re not in your work clothes anymore, instead wearing a soft red dress and your hair is pinned back. You’re smiling at the waiter, who seems to be really interested in talking to you as he slides a margarita on the table. He holds the menu out, only for you to shake your head.
He watches your glossed lips shape around the words: I’m waiting for someone.
Him. He’s the someone.
He wants to be the only one. Ever.
He tongues his cheek as the waiter nods, patting the vinyl of the booth above your head. You lean your head back slightly, closing your eyes as your forefinger picks at your thumb’s cuticle. A nervous habit of yours, one he’d picked up on the first time he spoke to you.
About pinecones, actually – but you don’t remember that at all. He doesn’t know what possessed him to bring them up – but he learned, through your hushed whisper in the elevator that morning – that you liked them. You like pinecones, because they are so diverse while all still being the same thing.
He hadn’t understood it then, but he did now – albeit differently.
He was like the pinecones, because he tried to show you that he liked you in so many ways...through the invites to drinks, the lunch, the shared memes.
The pinecones.
Sliding warm tea on your desk and lemon-blueberry muffins, to cracking jokes and passing notes to you on his pink My Melody stationery. To pulling your hair out and brushing your hair out of your face, to letting his friends embarrass him by practically outing his interest in you every time they got together with you and him for drinks at this very bar.
To walking you home, even in the rain, just to spend a little more time with you.
Only to realize that it was futile, because you didn’t see him that way.
You didn’t see him as more than a friend, but he’s not brave enough to tell you why you should.
“Hi.”
Your voice is smooth as he finally slides into the booth opposite you, his skin warming at the sound of it. He clears his throat, giving you a curt nod as he adjusts himself in his seat. He shrugs off his jacket, tossing it to the side before feeling guilt begin to settle in his stomach.
“Sorry. I was...”
He gives up on coming up with an excuse, only running his hand through his hair as you nod. Your manicured fingers stir your straw in figure eights, the flash of an heirloom ring you never take off catching his eye. “I’m sorry.”
“For?” Your eyes are curious, before tilting your head. “Being late? It happens.”
He shakes his head like he doesn’t know, before clearing his throat again when the waiter swoops in to save the day. He internally thanks whatever God is out there as he asks for a beer, earning a scrunch of your nose as the waiter nods and leaves once more.
You don’t say anything as he shifts, only stare. Maybe through him, maybe into him.
He doesn’t mind the warmth of your gaze. He never has.
“I didn’t know getting a girlfriend meant you’d treat me like I never existed.” You start softly, his eyes widening as you purse your lips. “I understand creating distance, because there is someone new. Someone who could perceive you and I as something more, when it’s not.”
“I...I don’t know what to say.” He admits lamely, the shock of you thinking he has a girlfriend not yet settling into his bones. “Who told you I have a girlfriend?”
You only shrug, taking a quick sip of your drink before shaking your head.
“Does it matter?”
He blinks, when the waiter slides the beer bottle on the table as he passes by. He touches it, the glass cold as he tongues his cheek.
If this is a way to get over you, by getting you believe there is someone else when there isn’t -- he’ll take it. He’ll take it because then it means he never has to tell you how he feels, and he’ll never have to face the way you reject him so kindly.
“I guess not.”
“Mmh.”
You trace circles into the side of your glass with your thumb, before another smile graces your lips.
“Are you happy?”
How could you ask him that?
Of course he’s not happy.
He hasn’t had a proper conversation with you in an entire year, and he’s been too much of a coward to admit that he wants more. He wants to kiss you in the elevator, in the break room, in the storage room on the sixth floor during your lunch break. He wants to hold your hand on the way to department meetings, under the table at drinks with your friends, on the walk to your apartment before you pull him in for a good night kiss. He wants to come into your apartment for a fucking nightcap without knowing he’ll say too much and lose any chance of ever being more to you.
So instead, he pulls away.
He stops talking to you, he removes you off every social media platform he can think of, so he doesn’t have the urge to peek at your dream home board on Pinterest, or the way your dream wedding is so similar to his. So he doesn’t have to be subjected to the cute outfits you post on your Instagram story before you leave your apartment for work, even though he’ll just see it when you arrive and he’ll have to take a deep breath so he doesn’t scream about how nice you look.
So he doesn’t have to know that you’re listening to the playlist he made for you to stay calm in the packed morning train on the way to work.
On the way to him.
“No.”
Your eyes soften, your brows scrunching in that same worried way they do when you’re listening to someone explain their problems to you at work. You nod, that comforting look of understanding glazing over your eyes.
“Can I ask why?”
He doesn’t bother responding, his mind racing as he thinks about all the pinecones sitting in his car, the ones that he’s deemed perfect enough to place on your desk but hasn’t been able to. He thinks about the way you slip out of the office and how your heels sound as you sneak upstairs to the sixth floor during lunch. He thinks about when Mike caught him off-guard by coming down to his desk and saying that you liked a pink chair that was in the storage room and kept asking about it.
A pink chair that used to belong to him, when he first got the company a few months before you did.
He sighs, fishing his wallet out of his pocket and sliding two twenties on the table.
“No. It’s better if you don’t.”
He doesn’t allow himself to look at you as he slides out of the booth, his hand gripping his suit jacket much too tightly for it to go unnoticed. You don’t stand, only nod as you take another sip of your drink.
“I hope it gets better. Have a good night, Junhui.”
He fights back tears as he makes his way out of the bar, your understanding look stuck in his mind as he drives home. He doesn’t bother looking at the pinecones in his backseat or changing the playlist that blares through his speakers when he connects his phone – a playlist you made for him, for his long drive home from work.
You’re in everything he holds dear to him. The music, the cabin – even if you’ve never been there. You know him, everything about him that is worth knowing in his eyes.
Except the fact that he’s in love with you, and that he’s a liar.
JUNHUI ISN'T AT HIS DESK ON THURSDAY. OR FRIDAY.
The whispering starts on Monday, with lots of wayward glances towards you and you almost want to go down to Minghao’s desk and ask if Junhui is okay.
But you don’t -- you glue yourself to your chair until lunch time, only to see that the pink chair you loved is no longer in the storage room. Mike tells you that the original owner took it out on Wednesday night and offers a soft apology. You shake your head and say it’s okay, before turning around and going back to your desk.
You arrive at your desk on Tuesday morning to your desk chair missing. There is a warm cup of tea on a coaster, and a cranberry orange muffin in front of your keyboard – but none of it distracts from the sudden pop of color next to your mousepad.
A plastic pink storage box.
You don’t bother to put your purse down as you crack the corner up, and your eyes widen as you realize it’s full of pinecones. There’s an envelope attached to the underside of the lid, and you pluck it off carefully before leaning against your desk. You peel it open gently, only to see the familiar pink My Melody stationery.
Junhui.
You ignore the urge to look up at his desk to see if he’s watching you over his monitor, feeling eyes from your co-workers trickling in as they spot the pink box. His handwriting is scrawled in purple ink across the stationery, and your heart sinks as you take in the slightly smudged words.
My Y/N,
I’m sorry about Wednesday. In fact, I’m sorry about the past year that I’ve gone without speaking to you. I have no excuse, only an explanation that probably won’t make things any better but will certainly give you some clarity.
I pulled away because I knew things would get too much for me. I’ve got a weak heart, and I can’t take rejection well – so I figured I’d cut ties first. It never worked, cutting contact with you; I found myself constantly missing the sound of your voice. I wanted so badly for you to reach out first, but I should’ve known better than to expect that when I was the one who wedged my way into your life. Our friendship was fun, and I miss listening to playlists with you during the walks to your apartment, but it simply can’t be anymore.
I like you so much, it’s painful to be around you and know you don’t feel the same.
I wanted to kiss you that night last spring. The rain and everything, it felt like a movie. Maybe that’s corny, and maybe it’s too forward but it doesn’t matter anyway because nothing will come of this. I’m sorry, for being too much of a coward to ever explain this to you in person. And for telling you now, through a letter written on stationery.
With this, I’ve got to admit something; finding out that you think I have a girlfriend when you’re all I’ve been able to think about since that first day we spoke is insane to me. Where do you get your gossip from? Is it a subscription? Unsubscribe effective immediately.
Speaking of effective immediately, I’ve taken a new position at a new company. So not only am I a coward for confessing this way, but also because I’m running away from it all. I don’t think I could handle not going home to you, even after seeing you all day. I’m not equipped for the agony of a silent, one-sided office romance that you read about in books.
I recommended you for my position. Don’t worry, people won’t talk to you nearly as much as they do now; but still...have fun, yeah?
I hope you enjoy these pinecones, for whatever you might end up using them for – and the pink chair. Funny, it belonged to me when I first got to the company. That’s why Mike never gave it up, but he told me you liked it so I figured you should have it.
Now it belongs to you! Quite like my heart.
Have a good day, Y/N. I’ll miss you.
Always and forever yours,
Junhui ♡
Your chest aches as you realize all the opportunities have slipped through your fingers.
“Miss Y/N, Mr. Wen said he’d like for you to have this.”
Mike startles you as you see the pink chair being rolled behind your desk, the fabric pristine and the small stain from spilled coffee at the edge is gone. Your fingers flit across the headrest, before you look at him with tears in your eyes.
“Guess he changed his mind, huh?”
He only smiles, nodding his head before turning on his heel and leaving.
You look at the cup of tea. It’s still hot, so it must’ve been placed recently. You glance over at his desk; how vacant it looked. Almost like how your chest feels after having your heart ripped out.
You don’t really notice that you’re moving until you’re in the elevator, nervously nibbling on your lip as you frantically press on Minghao’s floor number while balancing the box of pinecones on your hip. It feels like an eternity as the damn thing jostles, and you nearly trip as it finally opens on the third floor. You beeline for Minghao’s desk in the back, only to see him quietly arriving with his headphones slid over his ears and his wife’s lipstick still stamped on his cheek.
He glances up as he feels your presence behind him, his eyes widening before a smile graces his lips.
“Y/N! What brings you down here?”
“Where is he?” You blurt, your hand still holding the note. He raises a brow, sliding his headphones off and onto the desk as he takes a seat in his desk chair.
“Where is who, sweetheart?”
“Junhui.”
His lips form an o-shape, making him nod before he shrugs.
“Why should I tell you?”
You gape at him, almost losing your grip on the box on your hip.
“Because you obviously know, and if you care about me–”
“Tell me why I should tell you, Y/N.”
You huff, your cheeks hot as you tap your foot. He tilts his head, an expectant look in his eyes before he speaks again.
“I do have work to do, you know.”
“Because I need to tell him that I...” You choke on your words, scoffing out a humorless laugh as you feel your eyes sting with tears. “Because I need to tell him that he’s an idiot.”
“You can text him that, you know.”
“I’d rather die than text him how I feel.”
“So, you admit you feel some type of way about him.”
He grins, slim fingers typing his password into his computer. You scowl.
“I never said anything of the sort.” You argue, and Minghao gives you a look that says, really bitch?
“You like him. It’s obvious to all of us, everyone in this office.” He reaches for his water bottle, his fingers aptly flicking the cap open. “So, admit it. Admit you have feelings for Wen Junhui, and I’ll give you the information you want.”
You look at the crumpled stationery in your hand, your heart swelling slightly at his handwriting.
My Y/N.
Always and forever yours,
Junhui ♡
“I love him.” You mumble softly as you stare at the paper, not catching how Minghao’s eyes widen. “I’m in love with him, Hao.”
A single tear rolls down your cheek and you quickly wipe it away, before looking up to see Minghao looking at you with a soft glaze over his eyes.
“I expect you and your boyfriend to get drinks with my wife and I this weekend in exchange for this.” His tone is warning as he reaches for a pen, his hand swiping a sticky note off the pad. You nod, ignoring the way your cheeks heat at the idea of Junhui being your boyfriend as he holds out the green paper. “Here, leave that. I’ll keep it safe, so you don’t have to lug it around.”
He holds his hands out for the box, and you hesitate before carefully placing it down. You open the corner, taking one of the pinecones out with a wince as he raises a brow before you shove it in your purse.
“I can explain.”
“Over drinks this weekend. I’ll work out your attendance with your department manager.”
You smile gently, glancing down at the sticky note. It’s an address to an apartment building.
“Thank you, Minghao.”
“Go, sweetheart. You’ll get caught in the rain if you stay any longer.”
And you go.
You don’t bother waiting for the elevator, practically flying down three flights of stairs. You sprint out of the lobby, nearly slamming into yet another of Junhui’s friends, Joshua, before yelling an apology over your shoulder. You make it outside, holding both pieces of paper in one of your shaking hands while the other fishes your phone out of your purse.
A fat raindrop falls on the screen as you map out how far the address is, and you almost welcome the cool water falling onto your cheeks as you run to the train station.
NEW! Message From: Hao
[8:02AM] day 1 of my best friend being a traitor. how is working from home, you bitch?
Junhui snorts as the message comes in, settling carefully in his desk chair. He feels a bit alone as he texts back a simple, I’m sorry; the usual soft chatter of the office replaced by the sound of his aircon blasting. Everything feels too casual – his white t-shirt tucked into his blue jeans, the softness of his house slippers instead of his usual heavy dress shoes. He feels like he’s waiting for a lunch date with one of his friends, rather than signing into work for the day.
He looks over the edge of his monitor, no longer seeing your warm eyes looking back at him; but a cat calendar flipped to July. He rolls his shoulders back, sighing inwardly when his phone buzzes incessantly on the desk.
Your contact photo fills the screen.
INCOMING CALL FROM: Y/N [PLEDIS]
He feels the entire world stop. His breath is caught in his throat, and he suddenly can’t feel his limbs. He watches the phone ring until the call fails, nearly falling out of his chair as he stands up and grabs it. His hands are shaking too hard for him to press the missed call notification, only for you to call back again.
His chest is tight as he shakily breathes out, his thumb swiping across the screen to answer it.
“Hello?”
“I wanted to kiss you that night, too. I have never once though back to that night and didn’t feel regret knowing I didn’t kiss you.”
You sound slightly out of breath, and the sound of rain is loud in the background. He feels his stomach drop to his ass; feet rooted to his spot in his office.
“Y/N, I–”
“You don’t have to say anything. Just come outside.”
He blinks as the call ends, staring at his reflection in the dark screen.
You’re outside.
“Shit.”
He nearly stumbles as he darts out of his office, beelining for his coat closet and shoving his feet into a pair of sneakers. He grabs the umbrella that leans against the frame of his front door, not bothering to grab his keys as he fumbles with the lock and throws the door open. A rumble of thunder startles him as he quickly shuts the door behind him, his fingers trying to fiddle with the umbrella when he hears your voice echo through the complex.
“Junhui!”
He glances over the railing, his eyes darting all over the courtyard before spotting you a few feet from the stairs. You’re wearing the black dress you wore the first time he’d spoken to you, and the attempt to wear open-toed shoes was ruined by the rain.
“Wen Junhui! Get down here!”
He feels laughter bubble up in his chest as he realizes you’re completely drenched, your hair is stuck to your face and your dress is practically dripping like the clouds above.
“You come up! It’s pouring out here!”
“No, you have to come down here! I came all this way, it’s only fair!”
He can’t really see your smile from where you are, but he can hear it. He can hear it and it’s like the rain doesn’t matter. It’s like this very moment proves he was an idiot not to overthink all those intimate moments between the two of you – the way your eyes would light up at his stupid emails, the way you’d let his hands linger on your neck or ears after brushing your hair out of your eyes. All the playlists, all the similarities down to the fact that you both want marigolds for your dream weddings.
The way you interlaced your fingers that night last spring, and he’s so glad you did.
“Junhui!”
He shakes his head, dropping the umbrella on his doormat before sprinting to the staircase, hearing his heart pounding in his ears as he barrels down the stone steps.
“What...what are you doing here? You’re going to get sick, I...”
He trails off as he realizes you’re staring at him with a sparkle in your eye he can’t swallow. Your smile is all teeth, and he feels his chest ache as you shrug innocently. You take a step closer, tilting your head.
“I thought you wanted to kiss me.”
He feels his cheeks hot, and he absently runs a hand through his hair.
“You’re drenched, Y/N.”
“I was that night, too. We both were.”
You shrug again, before stepping out from under the stairwell back into the rain. You hold your hand out, the rain pelting it as he hesitates to take it. You wiggle your fingers, making him tongue his cheek as he takes it, letting you pull him out into the rain. You hand slides up his arm and cradles his jaw gently, and he fights himself not to lean into it but ultimately fails.
“I told Minghao I’d tell you you’re an idiot.”
He snorts, “Is that on his behalf or yours?”
“Mostly mine, but I’m sure he has his own things to say about the matter. A year, Junhui? A whole year.” Your lip is jutted in a pout, and he sighs as the rain starts to soak in through his shirt. His hair is starting to stick on his forehead, and your hand swipes it back.
“I’m sorry. I know that it’ll never be enough to say it, but I truly mean it.” He gently touches his forehead to yours, his heart warming at the way you peer up at him through wet lashes. “I don’t blame you if you don’t forgive me, either. It was a shitty thing to do.”
He hates how your eyes soften, because he feels his knees grow weak as your other arm loops around his neck. He tentatively wraps his own around your waist, pulling you closer and he swears he sees your smile grow shy.
“I wouldn’t have come all this way if I didn’t think hearing you out would be worth it.” You say softly, and a rumble of thunder makes you both flinch. A laugh escapes you, before your thumb strokes his cheek gently.
“Is this still like last spring?”
He smiles softly, “No.”
“Did you ever think this would be the first time you get to kiss me? Like this?”
He laughs, “No.”
“Is it better, though?”
“Considering I’d hoped we would’ve gone on a date—”
“Say yes before I regret coming all this way.”
“Yes.”
Neither of you move, but he feels it. He feels the same feeling of want he did that night, the same feeling of yearning that floated off you without a single word. You tilt your head up, your nose brushing his lightly .
“I’m really cold.”
“I told you to come up.”
“This is more romantic.”
“I hope you know ‘romantic’ can also cost you three sick days at work.”
“You’re worth all my sick days, Wen Junhui.” You mutter, pressing your lips to his. He can’t help but smile into it, his arm tightening around your waist as his other hand cups your face softly.
All the warmth from your eyes, the bashfulness of your smiles, the kindness of your heart is too much for his heart to handle. He can’t believe you’re really here, in his arms...your lips so, so soft and eager against his.
“We have to go inside. You’re going to get sick.” He forces himself to pull away, his heart melting at the way you chase his lips slightly. You frown, and he can’t help but press a chaste kiss to your pouted lip. “We can kiss all you want inside the apartment, I promise.”
You don’t seem embarrassed at all as you smile at the mention of it, even if he feels his own cheeks grow hot as you nod. He feels his entire chest swell slightly as you interlace your fingers with his and pull him towards the stairwell, biting back his giddy smile.
YOU SMELL LIKE LUMBER SOMETIMES.
You smell like the tree trunks he chops for firewood at his cabin on the weekends, and you roast his marshmallow for him – despite Minghao’s teasing.
He still picks up pinecones. He dusts them off and examines them, and the best one is always promptly delivered to you at lunchtime as he drops by the company to whisk you away. The lunch invitations that once meant you’d be holed away in the storage room with a less-sad turkey sandwich from the deli down the block, now meant you’re getting bombarded with kisses before he finally lets you get out of his car with your to-go cup of iced tea.
That wasn’t nearly the extent of your relationship with him. Now, he has a photo of you on his desk at home – and you have one of the two of you together on yours. Your pink chair is complimented often by your coworkers, and you’ve apologized to Diane for lying about a gluten allergy.
Though you’re back to being under the radar, people notice the changes. They notice that Junhui, who no longer works alongside them, is still frequently in the lobby – but he’s picking you up. He’s kissing you; he’s spinning you around and calling you, my love.
No one speaks to you unless they need something, and rarely does someone need something from you.
But Junhui?
He can’t help but need you every single day. He slips his pink stationery love letters into your purse before you leave his apartment on Sunday nights, even if he’s begged you to stay the night just one more time. He accepts invites to anything that means he can bring you with him -- drinks with Minghao, lunch with his mother, even a weekend trip that was meant to be strictly business, but he spent most of the time that he wasn’t presenting glued to you in the hotel room.
Junhui doesn’t let you take the train anymore. Junhui takes your shy offers for a nightcap that usually end up with you kissing him breathless on your couch off two glasses of wine. Junhui, of all things, holds your hand on the table at drinks with his friends that are now yours, too.
Junhui listens – to your complaints about work; to your theories about birthstones and how whoever chose them was clearly biased for September to have the sapphire; to your sweet whispers as you slip your hand down his shorts late at night, and the whiny moans of his name that slip from your throat when he’s pinned you against his mattress.
"hey, are you okay?", you hear junhui asking, but you can't give him too much of a reaction.
with your head still down, eyes almost closing, you nod at him. your body seems to move on its own and, when you realize, you're already laying your head on his shoulder.
"yeah, i'm just tired", you mumble, but you're sure that the dark circles around your eyes could easily give that in too.
junhui doesn't say a word; instead, he wraps his arms around your mid section, pulling you a bit closer. he gets the feeling - oh, he so gets the feeling.
"rest for a bit", junhui says. he knows his arm, his body, isn't as comfortable as your bed would be, but he still hopes that it's enough.
little does he know that it's everything you need, and you make a mental note to tell him that once you wake up.
a/n: i'm so tired. i'm so tired, i'm so tired, i'm so tired. [mingyu's voice].
Synopsis: After a misunderstanding tests their relationship, Junhui and his partner find comfort in each other’s presence, learning that healing takes time—but love endures, even through the hardest moments.
Pairing: Radiologist!Junhui x resident fem!reader
Genre: Doctor au, established relationship, angst, fluff
Word Count: 3.2k
Warnings: mentions of medical information, mentions of cheating, a kiss
Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This fic contains inaccurate medical information and is supposed to be taken as a work of fiction.
A/N: Welcome to our sweet pabo Jun’s fic for the Seventeen Med series. You can find the masterpost here.
You and Jun met during your residency at the Seventeen Medical Center. It was a chaotic time, both of you navigating the intense demands of your respective specialities. He had just completed his fellowship in trauma surgery, and you were a fresh resident, eager but still trying to find your footing. The two of you were thrown together on a high-stakes trauma case—patients piling in, the ER frantic, and you both having to rely on each other to make split-second decisions.
Jun’s calm under pressure caught your eye—his ability to stay composed even when things were spiralling. You admired how methodical and caring he was with his patients, even in the most critical of situations. Slowly, a friendship blossomed over coffee breaks and late-night shifts. He’d notice when you were tired and bring you a cup of coffee, or offer advice when you were struggling with a procedure.
One evening, after a particularly rough night in the ER, Jun walked you home, and you ended up on the rooftop of your apartment building, talking about everything and nothing. He confessed that he admired your dedication, and you, in turn, admitted that you found comfort in his presence. The first kiss came that night—soft, tentative, yet full of promise.
After that, your relationship grew quickly. It was easy—comfortable. Jun was sweet and caring, always wanting to make sure you were taken care of, but he also gave you space to breathe and grow. As much as your professional lives were demanding, your time together always felt like a sanctuary.
The pain had started a few weeks ago—just a dull ache in your lower back, nothing too alarming at first. But it had gradually worsened. You tried to push through it, taking a few extra stretches during your breaks and seeing Mingyu for some physiotherapy in the PT room. You didn’t want to worry Jun. After all, he was busy with his trauma surgeries, and the last thing you wanted was for him to distract himself with your problem. But every time you winced from the pain, you’d find yourself hiding it from him.
Jun, on the other hand, had noticed something off. You’d been sneaking off to the PT room and spending longer than usual talking with Mingyu. He trusted Mingyu, of course—Mingyu was professional and a great guy—but he couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy. It didn’t help that he’d found you two laughing together in the office, your hand on Mingyu’s shoulder as you shared a quiet conversation. Something about it felt… wrong.
The hospital was in full swing, as usual. Junhui was in the ER, quickly wrapping up a round with one of his patients, a middle-aged man with an apparent leg fracture. The busy rhythm of the hospital allowed Junhui to stay focused, and the moment of quiet was brief but welcome.
His patient, now scheduled for an x-ray, was being wheeled down the hall by one of the nurses. Junhui stood in the doorway for a moment, double-checking the patient’s charts before he heard a familiar voice.
You.
His eyes shifted to see you stepping into the hall, Mingyu walking alongside you as you both made your way to the physical therapy room. You were laughing softly at something Mingyu said, your eyes bright with a warmth he hadn’t seen from you in days. It wasn’t the first time he’d caught you two talking, but for some reason, it felt... off this time. Maybe it was the way you seemed a little too at ease around him. Too familiar.
Junhui stood there for a moment, brow furrowing. He felt a pang of discomfort, a nagging thought bubbling up that he couldn’t quite ignore. But before he could dwell on it, his patient’s voice broke through his thoughts.
“Doctor Wen?”
“Oh, right,” Junhui muttered, shaking himself from his distraction. He quickly turned his attention back to the man in front of him. “We’ll get you taken care of, don’t worry.”
As the patient was wheeled away, Junhui’s eyes darted once more to the hallway, but you and Mingyu were already disappearing around the corner. His heart skipped a beat—he wasn’t sure why, but something about that exchange didn’t sit right with him.
He made a quick decision and walked over to where Dr. Xu was standing, filling out some notes in the hallway.
“Dr. Xu,” Junhui called, voice casual, but there was an underlying edge. He hesitated for a moment, but the curiosity won out. “Doesn’t Mingyu have a girlfriend?”
Minghao glanced up from his chart, blinking in mild surprise, nodded, not missing a beat. “Yeah, his ex-patient. She had a minor neck thing a few months ago. He’s been helping her recover.” He paused, then added with a grin, “Why?.”
“No, I just—” Junhui faltered, then shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck. “Never mind. I just noticed him with Y/N a lot. Just seemed... I don’t know, a bit too friendly.”
Minghao raised an eyebrow but gave a casual shrug. “You know Mingyu. He’s just a nice guy. Not everything has to mean something, right?”
“Yeah,” Junhui mumbled, but the seed of doubt was already planted. He forced a half-smile, nodding as though everything was fine.
But as he watched Mingyu walk off in the distance, his mind was a swirl of conflicting thoughts. His gut told him something was off—something didn’t feel right, and he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being left out of something important. He wasn’t the type to jump to conclusions, but the pieces were starting to form in his mind, and none of them were adding up to a comforting picture.
“Focus,” Junhui muttered to himself, shaking off his unease. There was work to do. But in the back of his mind, the question lingered: Was there something more going on between Y/N and Mingyu?
The emergency department was busy, but that was nothing new. You moved carefully around your patient’s bed, adjusting the IV drip with precision. You tried to keep the discomfort from showing, but each movement seemed to take just a little more effort than the last. The ache in your back had worsened again, and you couldn’t seem to find a position that didn’t aggravate it.
As you straightened up after adjusting the drip, you winced slightly, gripping the edge of the bed for support. You didn’t even realize that Junhui had stepped into the room until you heard his familiar voice.
“Hey.” His tone was warm, but there was a hint of concern. “I was just about to grab some food. Come with me?”
You turned and gave him a small smile, masking the twinge in your back. “Yeah, sure. Just finishing up with my patient here.”
Junhui’s eyes scanned you for a moment, his gaze narrowing slightly as he watched you move. You were trying to be casual, but he couldn’t ignore the way you were moving—carefully, deliberately, like each motion took a little more effort than it should.
His brow furrowed, but before he could say anything, you caught his eye and offered a small, reassuring smile. “What about you? How’s your day been?” you asked, trying to distract him with your usual attempt to focus on him instead.
He hesitated for a moment, but then began talking, falling into the familiar rhythm of sharing details about his rounds. “Busy, as usual. I had a couple of patients today, one of them pretty intense, but nothing I couldn’t handle. Just the usual radiology stuff —nothing too major.”
But even as he spoke, Junhui couldn’t help but keep his attention on you. His mind kept drifting back to the way you moved, the careful posture, the way you subtly shifted to avoid putting too much pressure on your back. He wanted to ask if something was wrong, but part of him held back. He’d already overstepped once, confronting you about Mingyu, and he didn’t want to make it seem like he was policing your every move.
He noticed the way you seemed to stiffen when you sat down on the stool beside the patient’s bed, carefully adjusting yourself before settling in. It didn’t escape him. The familiar ache of concern curled in his chest, but he just… kept it to himself.
You watched him quietly, waiting for him to elaborate, but the longer you spoke, the more distant his words seemed. His mind was clearly elsewhere, his eyes darting to you, then back to the floor, and then again to the patient.
Finally, after what felt like a long moment of silence, Junhui shook his head slightly and gave you a half-smile, as if to dismiss his thoughts.
“Anyway, I’ve got a page. Pediatric wing. Looks like I’m on call for the next few hours. We can grab food later, yeah?”
You nodded, relieved that he was distracted enough by his work to not press the issue.
“Of course. Go on, you have your hands full. I’ll be fine.”
He hesitated for just a second, giving you another quick glance before he straightened up. “Okay. But we’ll talk later, alright? Just—try not to push yourself too much, love.”
You gave him a smile, though it didn’t quite reach your eyes as much as it usually did. “I’ll be fine, Jun. Go take care of your patients.”
He nodded, still staring at you for a moment longer than he probably should have. Then, with a soft sigh, he turned to leave.
As he walked down the hallway toward the pediatric wing, the nagging feeling inside of him didn’t subside. He couldn’t help but wonder if he’d missed something, if there was something you weren’t telling him. The way you were moving... the way you’d been so distracted recently... It all felt like pieces of a puzzle he hadn’t quite figured out yet. But for now, he had to focus on the kids in the pediatric wing.
It was late when Jun found Mingyu in the hallway, just after you had left the PT room. His eyes were hard, his voice tight with tension.
“Mingyu,” he started, his voice low. “We need to talk.”
Mingyu, who had just finished wrapping up a session, looked up, clearly surprised. “What’s up, Jun?”
Jun took a step forward, his hands shoved in his pockets as his gaze locked with Mingyu’s. “What’s going on between you and my girlfriend?”
Mingyu blinked, taken aback. “What are you talking about?”
“I’ve seen you two,” Jun continued, the frustration clear in his tone. “You’ve been talking to her in your office, in the PT room. She spends more time with you than she does with me lately. What’s going on?”
Mingyu’s expression softened, realizing what was happening. “Jun, it’s not like that. She’s been in pain—back pain. She came to me because of that. We’re just working on some exercises to help her.”
Jun’s face softened, but the suspicion didn’t fade. “Then why all the secrecy? She’s not telling me anything.”
Mingyu paused, knowing this wasn’t his fight to pick, but still feeling the need to clear things up. “She didn’t want you to worry. She didn’t want to add anything more to your plate.”
Jun’s face twisted in a mixture of guilt and anger. “So that’s it? She’s been sneaking around, and you’re keeping it from me?”
Mingyu sighed, stepping closer. “It’s not like that. She cares about you, Jun. She didn’t want to add unnecessary stress.”
Before Jun could say anything else, the door to the office opened, and you stepped out, your eyes widening when you saw the tension between them.
You felt your heart sink at the sight of the two of them standing there, an unspoken tension filling the air.
“Jun…?” you began softly, trying to diffuse the situation.
Jun’s eyes were narrowed, his posture rigid. “Why didn’t you tell me, huh? You’ve been sneaking around with Mingyu. I thought—” He cut himself off, shaking his head in frustration. “I thought you were cheating on me.”
Your stomach twisted at the accusation, the weight of your secret pressing down on you. You stepped forward, putting a hand on Jun’s arm. “It’s not like that,” you whispered.
Jun’s eyes softened, though the hurt was still there. “Then why all the secrecy?”
You took a deep breath, finally deciding to open up. “I’ve been having some back pain… for a while now. I didn’t want you to worry. I didn’t think it was a big deal, but it’s been getting worse. Mingyu’s been helping me with it.”
Jun’s expression shifted from anger to something else—concern, confusion, maybe even guilt. “Back pain?” he repeated, his voice softening. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t want to burden you,” you admitted, looking up at him. “You’ve already got so much going on with your surgeries… I didn’t want to add more to your plate.”
Jun’s face softened as he cupped your face in his hands. “You’re not a burden, ever. I care about you. We’re supposed to be in this together. You should’ve told me.”
The tension seemed to evaporate in that moment, but it was clear Jun still needed some reassurance. “I… I was worried.”
“I know,” you whispered, “I should’ve trusted you more. I’m sorry.”
The next day, Jun insisted you get an x-ray with him. You reluctantly agreed, knowing it was the only way to calm his worries. The results showed a minor spinal issue that could be resolved with physical therapy and some rest.
Jun let out a relieved sigh, pulling you into a tight hug. “So, this whole time, you were just trying to protect me from worrying?”
You nodded, resting your head against his chest. “I didn’t want to add to your stress.”
Jun chuckled softly, holding you even tighter. “I’m an idiot, aren’t I?”
“You’re not,” you replied with a small smile. “Just a little overprotective.”
“Well, I’m just glad it’s nothing serious. And next time, don’t hide things from me, okay? We’re a team.”
“I promise,” you said, looking up at him with a smile. “No more secrets.”
And with that, the misunderstanding was put to rest, leaving you both stronger than before.
It had been hours since the truth had come to light—the x-ray, the back misalignment, and all the tension that had built up between you and Junhui. The misunderstandings were cleared, but the air still felt thick with emotions, each of you processing what had happened. The silence between you two wasn’t uncomfortable, but rather, it was filled with the weight of unspoken apologies.
You and Junhui had found a quiet corner of the hospital—an empty lounge where you could sit without being disturbed. The dim light in the room cast soft shadows across the walls as you sat together on the couch. The hum of the fluorescent lights above and the occasional distant chatter from the hallway were the only sounds that surrounded you.
Junhui was beside you, his arm gently brushing against yours, and yet there was a palpable distance. Neither of you quite knew how to navigate this moment after everything. After the argument. After the confusion. After the truth.
He hadn’t let go of your hand since the moment he found out. His grip was soft but insistent, like he was trying to reassure himself that you were really here, that everything was okay.
“I’m sorry,” Junhui murmured, his voice low. He squeezed your hand, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. “I shouldn’t have doubted you. I should’ve trusted you more.”
You let out a soft breath, your head leaning gently against his shoulder. “Jun... it wasn’t your fault. I should’ve told you sooner. I didn’t want you to worry about me. But I know now that I should’ve trusted you enough to let you in.”
There was a long pause, both of you simply sitting there, the moment stretching out like a quiet lullaby. Junhui shifted, adjusting his position so that he could face you fully, his eyes searching yours with that familiar softness.
“I can’t believe I jumped to conclusions,” he said, his voice thick with regret. “I let my insecurities take over... and I hurt you in the process. I should’ve asked, instead of assuming.”
You reached out, gently cupping his face in your hands, bringing him closer so that you could look into his eyes. “It’s okay. We both made mistakes. But... I don’t want to hide anything from you again. I want us to be open with each other, no matter what.”
Junhui leaned into your touch, his face softening as his forehead rested against yours. “I never want to hurt you again. I just want to make things right.”
You smiled, but the ache in your back reminded you of the fragile space between you. The pain that had been haunting you, even now. You sighed softly, feeling the discomfort radiating through your body despite the closeness of the moment.
“Jun, I...” you hesitated, your words catching in your throat as you looked down. “I want to be close to you, too. But we can’t really... we can’t do anything like we usually would. It’ll just make the pain worse. I can’t... I can’t handle that right now.”
He pulled back just slightly, concern flashing in his eyes as he looked at you with soft understanding. “You don’t have to apologize, love. I don’t need anything from you right now, but you being okay. I’m here, and that’s enough.”
You reached for his hand, lacing your fingers together. “I just... need some time to heal. But I promise, once I’m better, we’ll get back to where we were.”
Junhui’s lips curled into a tender smile as he kissed your forehead gently. Then, as he pulled away, he softly cupped your face in his hands, his eyes searching yours with a quiet intensity that made your heart flutter. Without a word, he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours—slowly, softly, the kiss filled with all the emotions you both had been carrying.
It was brief but meaningful—gentle, full of apology and tenderness, and everything that was unsaid between you. When he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, his breath mingling with yours.
“I’m here. Always,” he whispered, his voice barely above a whisper. “We’ll get through this together.”
You closed your eyes for a moment, the warmth of his kiss still lingering on your lips. In that moment, nothing else mattered. You felt safe, loved, and understood. The pain in your back was still there, but his presence made it feel a little less overwhelming.
You smiled softly, a quiet promise in your eyes. “I know. Thank you, Junie. For waiting. For being patient with me.”
Junhui nodded, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear as his thumb gently caressed your cheek. “No need to thank me, love. I’m just happy you’re here. I’ll wait as long as it takes.”
And as the two of you sat together in the quiet of the room, it was clear—this was just the beginning of healing, not only for your body, but for the relationship between the two of you. When the time was right, you’d pick up where you left off. But for now, being here in this moment was enough.
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Synopsis: After a misunderstanding tests their relationship, Junhui and his partner find comfort in each other’s presence, learning that healing takes time—but love endures, even through the hardest moments.
Pairing: Radiologist!Junhui x resident fem!reader
Genre: Doctor au, established relationship, angst, hurt comfort, fluff, smut MDNI
Word Count: 3.2k
Warnings: mentions of medical information, mentions of cheating, a lil dry humping, a kiss
Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This fic contains inaccurate medical information and is supposed to be taken as a work of fiction.
A/N: Welcome to our sweet pabo Jun’s fic for the Seventeen Med series. You can find the masterpost here.
You and Jun met during your residency at the Seventeen Medical Center. It was a chaotic time, both of you navigating the intense demands of your respective specialities. He had just completed his fellowship in trauma surgery, and you were a fresh resident, eager but still trying to find your footing. The two of you were thrown together on a high-stakes trauma case—patients piling in, the ER frantic, and you both having to rely on each other to make split-second decisions.
Jun’s calm under pressure caught your eye—his ability to stay composed even when things were spiralling. You admired how methodical and caring he was with his patients, even in the most critical of situations. Slowly, a friendship blossomed over coffee breaks and late-night shifts. He’d notice when you were tired and bring you a cup of coffee, or offer advice when you were struggling with a procedure.
One evening, after a particularly rough night in the ER, Jun walked you home, and you ended up on the rooftop of your apartment building, talking about everything and nothing. He confessed that he admired your dedication, and you, in turn, admitted that you found comfort in his presence. The first kiss came that night—soft, tentative, yet full of promise.
After that, your relationship grew quickly. It was easy—comfortable. Jun was sweet and caring, always wanting to make sure you were taken care of, but he also gave you space to breathe and grow. As much as your professional lives were demanding, your time together always felt like a sanctuary.
The pain had started a few weeks ago—just a dull ache in your lower back, nothing too alarming at first. But it had gradually worsened. You tried to push through it, taking a few extra stretches during your breaks and seeing Mingyu for some physiotherapy in the PT room. You didn’t want to worry Jun. After all, he was busy with his trauma surgeries, and the last thing you wanted was for him to distract himself with your problem. But every time you winced from the pain, you’d find yourself hiding it from him.
Jun, on the other hand, had noticed something off. You’d been sneaking off to the PT room and spending longer than usual talking with Mingyu. He trusted Mingyu, of course—Mingyu was professional and a great guy—but he couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy. It didn’t help that he’d found you two laughing together in the office, your hand on Mingyu’s shoulder as you shared a quiet conversation. Something about it felt… wrong.
The hospital was in full swing, as usual. Junhui was in the ER, quickly wrapping up a round with one of his patients, a middle-aged man with an apparent leg fracture. The busy rhythm of the hospital allowed Junhui to stay focused, and the moment of quiet was brief but welcome.
His patient, now scheduled for an x-ray, was being wheeled down the hall by one of the nurses. Junhui stood in the doorway for a moment, double-checking the patient’s charts before he heard a familiar voice.
You.
His eyes shifted to see you stepping into the hall, Mingyu walking alongside you as you both made your way to the physical therapy room. You were laughing softly at something Mingyu said, your eyes bright with a warmth he hadn’t seen from you in days. It wasn’t the first time he’d caught you two talking, but for some reason, it felt... off this time. Maybe it was the way you seemed a little too at ease around him. Too familiar.
Junhui stood there for a moment, brow furrowing. He felt a pang of discomfort, a nagging thought bubbling up that he couldn’t quite ignore. But before he could dwell on it, his patient’s voice broke through his thoughts.
“Doctor Wen?”
“Oh, right,” Junhui muttered, shaking himself from his distraction. He quickly turned his attention back to the man in front of him. “We’ll get you taken care of, don’t worry.”
As the patient was wheeled away, Junhui’s eyes darted once more to the hallway, but you and Mingyu were already disappearing around the corner. His heart skipped a beat—he wasn’t sure why, but something about that exchange didn’t sit right with him.
He made a quick decision and walked over to where Dr. Xu was standing, filling out some notes in the hallway.
“Dr. Xu,” Junhui called, voice casual, but there was an underlying edge. He hesitated for a moment, but the curiosity won out. “Doesn’t Mingyu have a girlfriend?”
Minghao glanced up from his chart, blinking in mild surprise, nodded, not missing a beat. “Yeah, his ex-patient. She had a minor neck thing a few months ago. He’s been helping her recover.” He paused, then added with a grin, “Why?.”
“No, I just—” Junhui faltered, then shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck. “Never mind. I just noticed him with Y/N a lot. Just seemed... I don’t know, a bit too friendly.”
Minghao raised an eyebrow but gave a casual shrug. “You know Mingyu. He’s just a nice guy. Not everything has to mean something, right?”
“Yeah,” Junhui mumbled, but the seed of doubt was already planted. He forced a half-smile, nodding as though everything was fine.
But as he watched Mingyu walk off in the distance, his mind was a swirl of conflicting thoughts. His gut told him something was off—something didn’t feel right, and he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being left out of something important. He wasn’t the type to jump to conclusions, but the pieces were starting to form in his mind, and none of them were adding up to a comforting picture.
“Focus,” Junhui muttered to himself, shaking off his unease. There was work to do. But in the back of his mind, the question lingered: Was there something more going on between Y/N and Mingyu?
The emergency department was busy, but that was nothing new. You moved carefully around your patient’s bed, adjusting the IV drip with precision. You tried to keep the discomfort from showing, but each movement seemed to take just a little more effort than the last. The ache in your back had worsened again, and you couldn’t seem to find a position that didn’t aggravate it.
As you straightened up after adjusting the drip, you winced slightly, gripping the edge of the bed for support. You didn’t even realize that Junhui had stepped into the room until you heard his familiar voice.
“Hey.” His tone was warm, but there was a hint of concern. “I was just about to grab some food. Come with me?”
You turned and gave him a small smile, masking the twinge in your back. “Yeah, sure. Just finishing up with my patient here.”
Junhui’s eyes scanned you for a moment, his gaze narrowing slightly as he watched you move. You were trying to be casual, but he couldn’t ignore the way you were moving—carefully, deliberately, like each motion took a little more effort than it should.
His brow furrowed, but before he could say anything, you caught his eye and offered a small, reassuring smile. “What about you? How’s your day been?” you asked, trying to distract him with your usual attempt to focus on him instead.
He hesitated for a moment, but then began talking, falling into the familiar rhythm of sharing details about his rounds. “Busy, as usual. I had a couple of patients today, one of them pretty intense, but nothing I couldn’t handle. Just the usual radiology stuff —nothing too major.”
But even as he spoke, Junhui couldn’t help but keep his attention on you. His mind kept drifting back to the way you moved, the careful posture, the way you subtly shifted to avoid putting too much pressure on your back. He wanted to ask if something was wrong, but part of him held back. He’d already overstepped once, confronting you about Mingyu, and he didn’t want to make it seem like he was policing your every move.
He noticed the way you seemed to stiffen when you sat down on the stool beside the patient’s bed, carefully adjusting yourself before settling in. It didn’t escape him. The familiar ache of concern curled in his chest, but he just… kept it to himself.
You watched him quietly, waiting for him to elaborate, but the longer you spoke, the more distant his words seemed. His mind was clearly elsewhere, his eyes darting to you, then back to the floor, and then again to the patient.
Finally, after what felt like a long moment of silence, Junhui shook his head slightly and gave you a half-smile, as if to dismiss his thoughts.
“Anyway, I’ve got a page. Pediatric wing. Looks like I’m on call for the next few hours. We can grab food later, yeah?”
You nodded, relieved that he was distracted enough by his work to not press the issue.
“Of course. Go on, you have your hands full. I’ll be fine.”
He hesitated for just a second, giving you another quick glance before he straightened up. “Okay. But we’ll talk later, alright? Just—try not to push yourself too much.”
You gave him a smile, though it didn’t quite reach your eyes as much as it usually did. “I’ll be fine, Jun. Go take care of your patients.”
He nodded, still staring at you for a moment longer than he probably should have. Then, with a soft sigh, he turned to leave.
As he walked down the hallway toward the pediatric wing, the nagging feeling inside of him didn’t subside. He couldn’t help but wonder if he’d missed something, if there was something you weren’t telling him. The way you were moving... the way you’d been so distracted recently... It all felt like pieces of a puzzle he hadn’t quite figured out yet. But for now, he had to focus on the kids in the pediatric wing.
It was late when Jun found Mingyu in the hallway, just after you had left the PT room. His eyes were hard, his voice tight with tension.
“Mingyu,” he started, his voice low. “We need to talk.”
Mingyu, who had just finished wrapping up a session, looked up, clearly surprised. “What’s up, Jun?”
Jun took a step forward, his hands shoved in his pockets as his gaze locked with Mingyu’s. “What’s going on between you and my girlfriend?”
Mingyu blinked, taken aback. “What are you talking about?”
“I’ve seen you two,” Jun continued, the frustration clear in his tone. “You’ve been talking to her in your office, in the PT room. She spends more time with you than she does with me lately. What’s going on?”
Mingyu’s expression softened, realizing what was happening. “Jun, it’s not like that. She’s been in pain—back pain. She came to me because of that. We’re just working on some exercises to help her.”
Jun’s face softened, but the suspicion didn’t fade. “Then why all the secrecy? She’s not telling me anything.”
Mingyu paused, knowing this wasn’t his fight to pick, but still feeling the need to clear things up. “She didn’t want you to worry. She didn’t want to add anything more to your plate.”
Jun’s face twisted in a mixture of guilt and anger. “So that’s it? She’s been sneaking around, and you’re keeping it from me?”
Mingyu sighed, stepping closer. “It’s not like that. She cares about you, Jun. She didn’t want to add unnecessary stress.”
Before Jun could say anything else, the door to the office opened, and you stepped out, your eyes widening when you saw the tension between them.
You felt your heart sink at the sight of the two of them standing there, an unspoken tension filling the air.
“Jun…?” you began softly, trying to diffuse the situation.
Jun’s eyes were narrowed, his posture rigid. “Why didn’t you tell me, huh? You’ve been sneaking around with Mingyu. I thought—” He cut himself off, shaking his head in frustration. “I thought you were cheating on me.”
Your stomach twisted at the accusation, the weight of your secret pressing down on you. You stepped forward, putting a hand on Jun’s arm. “It’s not like that,” you whispered.
Jun’s eyes softened, though the hurt was still there. “Then why all the secrecy?”
You took a deep breath, finally deciding to open up. “I’ve been having some back pain… for a while now. I didn’t want you to worry. I didn’t think it was a big deal, but it’s been getting worse. Mingyu’s been helping me with it.”
Jun’s expression shifted from anger to something else—concern, confusion, maybe even guilt. “Back pain?” he repeated, his voice softening. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t want to burden you,” you admitted, looking up at him. “You’ve already got so much going on with your surgeries… I didn’t want to add more to your plate.”
Jun’s face softened as he cupped your face in his hands. “You’re not a burden, ever. I care about you. We’re supposed to be in this together. You should’ve told me.”
The tension seemed to evaporate in that moment, but it was clear Jun still needed some reassurance. “I… I was worried.”
“I know,” you whispered, “I should’ve trusted you more. I’m sorry.”
The next day, Jun insisted you get an x-ray with him. You reluctantly agreed, knowing it was the only way to calm his worries. The results showed a minor spinal issue that could be resolved with physical therapy and some rest.
Jun let out a relieved sigh, pulling you into a tight hug. “So, this whole time, you were just trying to protect me from worrying?”
You nodded, resting your head against his chest. “I didn’t want to add to your stress.”
Jun chuckled softly, holding you even tighter. “I’m an idiot, aren’t I?”
“You’re not,” you replied with a small smile. “Just a little overprotective.”
“Well, I’m just glad it’s nothing serious. And next time, don’t hide things from me, okay? We’re a team.”
“I promise,” you said, looking up at him with a smile. “No more secrets.”
And with that, the misunderstanding was put to rest, leaving you both stronger than before.
It had been hours since the truth had come to light—the x-ray, the back misalignment, and all the tension that had built up between you and Junhui. The misunderstandings were cleared, but the air still felt thick with emotions, each of you processing what had happened. The silence between you two wasn’t uncomfortable, but rather, it was filled with the weight of unspoken apologies.
You and Junhui had found a quiet corner of the hospital—an empty lounge where you could sit without being disturbed. The dim light in the room cast soft shadows across the walls as you sat together on the couch. The hum of the fluorescent lights above and the occasional distant chatter from the hallway were the only sounds that surrounded you.
Junhui was beside you, his arm gently brushing against yours, and yet there was a palpable distance. Neither of you quite knew how to navigate this moment after everything. After the argument. After the confusion. After the truth.
He hadn’t let go of your hand since the moment he found out. His grip was soft but insistent, like he was trying to reassure himself that you were really here, that everything was okay.
“I’m sorry,” Junhui murmured, his voice low. He squeezed your hand, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. “I shouldn’t have doubted you. I should’ve trusted you more.”
You let out a soft breath, your head leaning gently against his shoulder. “Jun... it wasn’t your fault. I should’ve told you sooner. I didn’t want you to worry about me. But I know now that I should’ve trusted you enough to let you in.”
There was a long pause, both of you simply sitting there, the moment stretching out like a quiet lullaby. Junhui shifted, adjusting his position so that he could face you fully, his eyes searching yours with that familiar softness.
“I can’t believe I jumped to conclusions,” he said, his voice thick with regret. “I let my insecurities take over... and I hurt you in the process. I should’ve asked, instead of assuming.”
You reached out, gently cupping his face in your hands, bringing him closer so that you could look into his eyes. “It’s okay. We both made mistakes. But... I don’t want to hide anything from you again. I want us to be open with each other, no matter what.”
Junhui leaned into your touch, his face softening as his forehead rested against yours. “I never want to hurt you again. I just want to make things right.”
With that, he tucks his face in your neck, and begins to pepper sweet kisses along your neck and shoulder. Gradually becoming open mouthed and turning into light nips. You sigh, tilting your head as he suckles. He gently tugs you onto his lap and you’re surprised to feel a bulge pressing against your thigh. He holds your hips as kisses down your throat and tries to urge you to rock against him.
You smiled, as much as you wanted to feel him, the ache in your back reminded you of the fragile space between you. The pain that had been haunting you, even now. You sighed softly, feeling the discomfort radiating through your body despite the closeness of the moment.
“Jun, I...” you hesitated, your words catching in your throat as you looked down. “I want to be close to you, too. But we can’t really... we can’t do anything like we usually would. It’ll just make the pain worse. I can’t... I can’t handle that right now.”
He pulled back just slightly, concern flashing in his eyes as he looked at you with soft understanding. “You don’t have to apologize. I don’t need anything from you right now but you being okay. I’m here, and that’s enough.”
You reached for his hand, lacing your fingers together. “I just... need some time to heal. But I promise, once I’m better, we’ll get back to where we were.”
Junhui’s lips curled into a tender smile as he kissed your forehead gently. Then, as he pulled away, he softly cupped your face in his hands, his eyes searching yours with a quiet intensity that made your heart flutter. Without a word, he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours—slowly, softly, the kiss filled with all the emotions you both had been carrying.
It was brief but meaningful—gentle, full of apology and tenderness, and everything that was unsaid between you. When he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, his breath mingling with yours.
“I’m here. Always,” he whispered, his voice barely above a whisper. “We’ll get through this together.”
You closed your eyes for a moment, the warmth of his kiss still lingering on your lips. In that moment, nothing else mattered. You felt safe, loved, and understood. The pain in your back was still there, but his presence made it feel a little less overwhelming.
You smiled softly, a quiet promise in your eyes. “I know. Thank you, Jun. For waiting. For being patient with me.”
And as the two of you sat together in the quiet of the room, it was clear—this was just the beginning of healing, not only for your body, but for the relationship between the two of you. When the time was right, you’d pick up where you left off. But for now, being here in this moment was enough.
Junhui nodded, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear as his thumb gently caressed your cheek. “No need to thank me. I’m just happy you’re here. I’ll wait as long as it takes.”
Kari’s taglist: @welcometomyoasis @phattyboo90
svt med taglist (closed)
all fics: @eightlightstar @iamawkwardandshy @foxinnie8
omg "what? me? jealous? never." with junhui please! 🫶🫶
ⵌ actor!jun x actress!reader.
ⵌ word count: 988
ⵌ notes: co-stars, secret relationship, pet names ('pretty girl'), suggestive joke, all my favorite tropes in a drabble. i miss this man sooo bad.
Jun loves award shows.
He loves having an excuse to dress up, loves getting to interact with other groups a little more openly, loves the special stages they get to put on. And if his gorgeous girlfriend happens to be a special emcee, well— that only makes it a much better night.
He's not allowed to be too excited, of course. He's always careful not to blow his cover. At most, the boys just seem to assume that you're his favorite co-star.
If only they knew that Jun's had the privilege of your heart for the past couple of years.
There's a bit of a thrill in sneaking around, in having to pull out his acting chops. Tonight, Jun lies about having to go to the bathroom, fields Minghao's invites for accompaniment, and navigates through all the other tables. Your text had been the only prompting he needed. It's like a waltz; his eyes on your back, the distance he keeps.
You side step in to a corner, behind a curtain, and he follows. The entire venue of idols, of actors, of Korea's biggest stars are none the wiser.
Jun's hands find immediate purchase at your waist. "Hey, pretty girl," he greets smoothly, that bright smile of his already lighting up his face.
You'll probably only have three minutes, but three minutes is all that Jun needs. He doesn't waste time. "Saw you on the red carpet earlier. You were stunning," he hums, his face going to nuzzle the underside of your ear.
"I think you're a little bit biased," you shoot back, unable to resist a jab. Your facade of annoyance is betrayed by the smile that's threatening to fill your own face. "But I think I can let it pass for tonight, 'specially since that suits of yours looks so good on you."
"I'd look even better out of it," he says unrepentantly. His arms tighten around your waist, holding you close when you try to pull back and away.
You let out a groan. Jun laughs softly.
Jun's lips brush against your jaw, then down the line of your throat. His nose skims your skin as he takes a breath. "You smell nice," he mumbles.
Cinnamon, sugar, vanilla. The same scent as his own cologne.
"You got me this at your Japan stop," you answer, your hands resting at his hips. It's not much, but it'll have to do for now.
"I should get you a perfume every time we have a stop abroad," he says.
"Yah, don't do that. You have expensive tastes. And you already get me too many things whenever you're on tour."
"What's the point of being an established artist at my big age if I can't spoil my pretty girl a little?" he grumbles petulantly. He tilts his head to press a kiss over your pulse. "Besides," he adds after a moment, "I like that you smell like me."
Smelling like Jun was just another one of those things. His subtle reminders in the form of innocuous couple items that only the two of you knew about. Cologne and perfume with similar notes, matching silk pajamas, rubber shoes from the same line. A quiet litany of mine, mine, mine in your every day lives.
You give a bright, warm laugh as you mumble into his hair, "I'll wear it more often, then."
You are so bad for him. A walking, talking dopamine rush. Everything about you makes Jun feel a little lightheaded, a little dizzy. Like he's had one too many to drink.
But you're also the one who sobers him up, the one who always says, "We should probably get going."
"Do we have to?" he whines. His arms around you tighten. He knows the answer to his question— yes, yes, you have to go. But he can't help wishing otherwise. "Five more minutes?"
Your nth sigh of the night. Even then— "Five more minutes," you concede.
His hands flatten out against your back, holding you more snugly against him. He could stay like this forever. Just your warmth against him, the scent of you in his nose, the sound of your steady breaths in his ear.
But you say five more minutes. And so he counts down from ten in his head. Ten, nine, eight…
Jun pulls back after the countdown and steals a long, deep kiss from your lips.
This was what it felt like to be alive. The way his blood pumped faster, his heart thumped harder. The way that your very presence made everything else seem dull in comparison.
The feeling only intensifies when you move closer. When you arch against him in that way you know he loves. When your fingers run through his hair.
Jun is all but breathless. He pulls away after long enough, leaning his forehead against yours. "I'm a terrible influence on you," he pants against your lips.
Your hand slides down to his face, your thumb ghosting over his mouth. "You got some on you," you grumble, and it takes him a moment to realize that you're fretting over lip gloss.
"Leave it," he says. "I like smelling like perfume and looking like I got kissed."
You shoot him a glare. He gives you cheeky grin.
When the two of you part, Jun is relegated to watch you from his table. You're radiant up on stage, perfectly composed and charming. You have stellar manufactured chemistry with your more recent co-star, and some of the boys decide to tease Jun about it.
"Looks like you've gotten replaced, Junpi," Jeonghan sing-songs.
Soonyoung nudges Jun in the side. "Jealous that you've lost your favorite co-star to Kim Soohyun?"
Jun barely stops himself from bursting into laughter. Replaced? Co-star? His members don't know the half of it. Jun absentmindedly runs a thumb over his bottom lip, where traces of you still linger.
"What? Me, jealous?" He breaks out into an innocent smile. "Never."
"hey, check it out what i got for you", junhui tells you, eyes shining like a little kid.
he gives you a tiny bag with pledis' logo on it. you raise your eyebrow at him, playfully acting as if you're suspicious.
"it better be the new album, carat version."
"oh, you want my face all over the pages?"
"yeah, yours, definitely", you say with a smirk. "not seungkwan's..."
junhui rolls his eyes at you, rushing you to open the bag; and when you do, the smile on your face makes all your teasings worth it.
"no way!", you pull the plushie of jun's animated character, the three cats looking back at you with what you could swear it was junhui's exact eyes. "i thought it was sold out?"
he shrugs. "it was, but i pulled some strings. i know how much you wanted it..."
junhui's words linger in the air as you rip the plastic that evolves your plushie keychan. the fabric is soft on your fingertips, and you just know you're gonna proudly walk with it hanging on your purse now.
"thank you so much, babe", you tell junhui, hugging him tight. "now i have four of you."
"as long as i'm still your favorite", he pokes your side, making you laugh.
