Across the ocean of time
albedo x GN reader - 45k words
cw: slight angst, fluff, mentions of depression and suicide thoughts, implied nudity or sexual activities.
in which reader mentions they have been inspired by Albedo's art during their darkest times.
n/a: albedo deserves so much love and I'll worship him until he doesn't get loved enough. might come off as OOC but it's based on my personal analysis Albedo's character analysis, in which I came to the conclusion that he just bottles up a lot and needs an hug--this is another self indulgent fic of mine so, oh well,, also this has bene sitting in my drafts for over a year, and even if I don't like it anymore I still want to get rid of it, somehow--I apologise if it feels off, but well, I stan touch starved albedo and this is such an old piece-
Everyone carries secrets, some heavier than others, but this one felt different. It wasn’t born out of shame or fear, it was something deeply personal, a silent gratitude (name) had never dared to voice before. Yet now, as they were lying beside Albedo, their fingers lightly tracing patterns on the back of his hand, the words finally slip past their lips.
(name) told him everything. How loneliness had consumed them, leaving them in a darkness so profound that even the thought of existing another day felt unbearable. And then, how, during one of the rare moments they were allowed outside, they had stumbled upon a market stall filled with books. One, in particular, had caught their eye; an art book filled with breathtaking illustrations. Something about those images spoke to them, reigniting a love they thought they had lost forever. Without realizing it, that book had saved them.
And the artist behind those drawings? Calx. The very man sitting beside them now.
(name) chuckled softly, tilting their head in thought. "Sometimes I think it was destiny, you know?" they mused. "Maybe the two of us were meant to find each other, to fall in love and help one other..." Their voice was playful, but there was an unmistakable sincerity in their words.
Albedo listened in silence, his sharp, analytical mind momentarily clouded by something much softer. His eyes softened as the realization settled in. He had known (name) had a... rather interesting past, but he never would have expected that he, unknowingly, had played a critical role in pulling them out of such a dark place. Gently, he took their hand in his, his fingers warm against theirs, his grip firm yet delicate. A small, almost guilty smile tugged at his lips.
"I… had no idea I was the one to help you like that..." he murmured, his voice carrying both wonder and something close to pain. "I’m glad to see how well you are doing now…"
His free hand lifted, brushing aside a few stray strands of their hair so he could look at their eyes more clearly. There was no trace of the usual calculation in his gaze, only warmth, and something deeper, something unspoken.
"I won’t lie," he admitted, his voice quieter now, as if speaking too loudly might shatter the fragile moment between them. "Your past makes me feel a bit enraged... but also... happy. That you came here... that I managed to help you." A faint smile touched his lips, an odd mix of pride and humility dancing in his expression. Albedo let out a quiet laugh, though there was a slight flush to his face. He had never put much stock in the idea of destiny, it was illogical, unscientific. And yet… being with (name) made it feel less impossible, less like a mere fantasy.
He pulled them closer, resting his chin on their shoulder. "Perhaps… Perhaps you’re right," he murmured against their hair. "Yet it is a bit of a strange…" He hesitated, searching for the right word. "…coincidence, that we found each other, isn’t it?"
(name) smiled, nestling closer against him. "Maybe we are soulmates or even twin flames, who knows."
Albedo chuckled again, the sound barely above a breath, but there was something content in the way he held them. His arms wrapped securely around (name) , his head resting lightly atop theirs. "Twin flames … lovers…" he echoed, letting the words settle between them. They were a little dramatic, perhaps even cliché, but he couldn’t deny the way they made something in his chest tighten. "Perhaps, we are."
(name)'s eyes lit up as they thought about it, and Albedo found himself drawn in by the sheer enthusiasm in their expression. "Yes! There’s something so beautiful and poetic about it!" they insisted, their voice laced with excitement. "Think about it… your soul has been connected to someone’s since before you were even born, because it’s a part of you! And one day, no matter what, you’ll return to them. Together, as you were meant to be. A single, bright star in the sky…"
Albedo felt his heart flutter again. He had always admired the way (name) spoke about things with such passion, how their emotions painted the world in a way even he, a master of color and form, could not. He tightened his embrace ever so slightly. "Such a… romantic way of phrasing it," he admitted, his tone thoughtful. "But yes, the idea of being connected to someone before you're even born… it's unique and fascinating." A brief pause, then, softer, "Though… I suppose that means I was lucky. Destined to find you." His voice carried a teasing lilt, but there was an underlying sincerity that he couldn’t quite mask.
(name)’s lips curled into a knowing smile. They leaned in just a little closer, the longer strands of their hair brushing lightly against Albedo's face as they whispered, "There is a verse in a poem that says ‘The luckiest man in the world is the one who finds true love.’."
Albedo let out a soft chuckle, though his expression had softened into something fonder, something almost reverent. He reached up, tucking a loose strand of their hair behind (name)'s ear, his fingertips grazing their skin in the process. His gaze held theirs as a small smile played at his lips. "Then I suppose I am the luckiest man in Teyvat…" His voice started light, almost teasing, but something in the way he said it shifted, turning it into a confession.
(name)’s gaze was full of warmth, their eyes reflecting the affection they held for him. "So am I." they whispered, their fingers gently caressing his face.
Albedo’s smile widened. There was something about this moment, about them, that made him feel undeniably safe. Albedo leaned into their touch, closing his eyes for a fleeting moment, as if savoring the warmth that radiated from their fingertips. The soft brush of (name)'s fingers against his skin, the quiet intimacy of their presence; these were things he rarely allowed himself to indulge in. Yet now, as the moment stretched between them, he found himself reluctant to let go. When he finally opened his eyes again, they held a depth, an unspoken weight that hadn’t been there before.
"Promise me... that you won't ever leave me, alright...?"
His voice, when he finally spoke, was quieter than before, as though it was pulled straight from the depths of his soul. His tone was soft, almost fragile, as if the very act of speaking his fears aloud might make them real. There was something raw in his words, something fragile beneath the measured tone, like a carefully contained storm that threatened to break free.
(name) did not hesitate. Their answer came with a certainty that left no room for doubt. "Not even if they threaten to burn me alive," they answered without second thoughts, their tone unwavering. The quiet intensity of their words filled the space between them, settling into the silence like a vow spoken under oath. They reached for Albedo's hand, pressing it firmly against their chest, letting him feel the steady rhythm of their heart beneath his palm.
"This is where I want to be. At home. My home. Where you are. And if I ever have to fall, it will be in you..." Their voice dropped to a whisper, yet the depth of emotion it carried was profound, solemn, there was a quiet power in it, a solemn promise wrapped in devotion. The words clung to the air between them, heavy with meaning. (name) meant every single word. And something about that realization made Albedo’s breath hitch, a sudden weight pressing against his ribs. He hadn’t expected this. Hadn’t expected the intensity with which they would answer him, the unwavering resolve in their gaze as they held him close. A dozen emotions warred within him: guilt, worry, affection, longing, each one fighting for dominance in the depths of his chest, they tangled together into something almost overwhelming. The way they spoke, as though their very existence was tethered to him, only made that war more chaotic. His hands found their face, cradling it with the care of an artist handling a masterpiece, afraid that the slightest pressure would shatter the fragile balance they had built. He pulled them into a tighter embrace, their foreheads now touching, his breath mingling with theirs in the quiet space they shared.
"Don't speak of falling... don't even think of it..."
His whisper trembled ever so slightly, the words laced with an urgency he could not hide. He did not want to hear it. Did not want to imagine a world where they could slip away from him, where fate might be cruel enough to steal them away. The thought alone made something tighten unbearably in his chest.
He exhaled slowly, unsteady. The weight of his emotions pressed down on him, relentless, suffocating. The blonde alchemist had spent so long mastering control, reigning in his thoughts and emotions with precision akin to his alchemical studies. But (name) had a way of unraveling him, of peeling back the layers he had so carefully constructed. And now, standing here with them, feeling the steady rhythm of their heartbeat beneath his hand, he realized he could not hold it all in anymore. Albedo exhaled shakily, struggling to contain the emotions surging within him. But it was a losing battle. The tension in his chest threatened to spill over, and before he could stop it, he felt the sting of tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. He melted into their arms, burying his face against the curve of (name)'s neck, his hold desperate and unyielding, as if they might slip away if he dared loosen his hold. His voice, rough and uneven, barely escaped his lips, when it came, it was rough and uneven.
"You... are my home too, you know that, right?"
(name) blinked, momentarily taken aback by the sheer vulnerability in the alchemist's tone.
"Albedo...?"
Their whisper was cautious, uncertain, surprised by the vulnerability in his posture, in his trembling grip. They had seen many sides of him, the brilliant mind, the curious scholar, the ever-composed alchemist, but this... this was different. This was Albedo stripped bare of all pretenses, all calculated restraint. And it made their heart ache in a way they could not describe. It was so rare to see him like this, so utterly raw and exposed.
"Are... you crying...?"
A choked sound escaped from Albedo, muffled against their skin. His body tensed slightly in their arms.
"I... I'm alright, I'm alright, just... I'm..."
But the words faltered, breaking apart before they could fully form. He clenched his jaw, frustration flickering across his features as he fought against the rising tide of emotion. He was unraveling, and he hated it. Hated the loss of control, hated how exposed he felt. But most of all, he hated how utterly helpless he was against this feeling, yet the emotions refused to be suppressed.
"I'm just... a bit emotional right now..."
The words came quietly, like a confession he wasn’t quite ready to make. And still, despite his attempts to keep his voice steady, there was a slight break in it, a tremor that betrayed him. His admission felt foreign on his tongue. He, who was always composed, always calculating, now found himself unraveling in his lover arms. He didn't want to be seen like this, didn't want to show such weakness... but he couldn’t hold it back anymore. He exhaled shakily, his grip tightening around (name). His voice dropped to a whisper, barely more than a breath against their skin.
"I... I just keep thinking... what if something happens to you..."
A shudder passed through him as the thought gripped his mind. His arms tightened around them, his embrace no longer just one of comfort, but one of fear, of desperate longing to hold onto something precious before it could be taken away.
(name)’s expression softened. Seeing him like this, so stripped of his usual composure, so openly vulnerable, stirred something deep within them. It was a rare thing, to see the man they loved like this. And at that moment, all they wanted was to shield Albedo from the weight of his own fears, to reassure him in the way only they could. They brought their lips close to his ear, whispering softly. "Hey..." Their voice was barely a murmur, their lips brushing close to his ear. "Look at me..."
Albedo shivered at the closeness, at the warmth of their breath ghosting over his skin. Slowly, hesitantly, his hold on them hesitating for just a moment before he slowly lifted his head. His teal eyes met theirs, and for a moment, (name) forgot how to breathe. His expression an open book of emotions: worry, longing, something deeper, something else they could not name. His throat bobbed slightly as he tried to speak, but no words came.
(name)'s hands, delicate yet steady, cupped his face as if he were something fragile, something precious. The tenderness in their touch made his breath hitch, his composure slipping further as their thumbs brushed lightly over his skin. A soft, reassuring smile curved their lips, their gaze filled with warmth, with certainty.
"Albedo... I will not leave you. I could never. The mere thought of it sounds impossible to me," they whispered, voice unwavering. "And nothing will happen to me. Because, fuck... I'm too tough. And then I have a knight like you at my side, what do you expect me to scratch? If anything, it should be Teyvat that fears me."
A small, breathy laugh escaped them, their fingers brushing a stray blonde lock of hair from Albedo's face. They felt the way his breath caught at their touch, the way his eyes softened ever so slightly, their lighthearted tone. "Don't worry, we are chained for eternity. Like dying stars, tied by an invisible thread. We, eternal lovers, destined for a shared agony, until the last star is nothing but vapor. Tragically splendid, don't you think?"
Their voice took on a dramatic lilt, teasing, playful, just enough to lift the weight from the moment as they always did. "But in truth, I couldn't wish for anything better, to be next to the love of my life, my soulmate... the most beautiful, sweet, kind, sexy, and intelligent man to walk the lands of Teyvat. I can't even find the right words, they will never exist... not even if I myself were the goddess of words and poetry..." (name) beamed, their arms wrapping securely around him once more as they murmured back with a smile just as full of love and certainty. Their fingers brushed against his face in a delicate caress, and as Albedo closed his eyes, leaning into their touch, he realized that in this moment, here, with them, he had found something beyond alchemy, beyond science, beyond anything he had ever studied or understood. He had found home.
Without warning, he pulled them even closer, his arms tightening around them in a firm yet tender embrace. His face buried itself in the curve of their shoulder. Albedo found himself frozen in place, utterly captivated by their words, by the sheer intensity of their devotion. His heart pounded in his chest, warmth flooding his entire being as their gaze locked onto his. He sighed softly, his lips curving into something tender, something utterly captivated. Their words melted something inside of him, replaced fear with warmth, uncertainty with love. Slowly, the weight on his shoulders began to lift, replaced by something softer, something far more powerful than fear: love, in its purest form. The alchemist let out a quiet chuckle, shaking his head slightly, as if in disbelief at the person before him. And yet, as he gazed at them, his lips curled into a small, genuine smile, one reserved only for them. He leaned in, pressing a lingering kiss to the crown of (name)'s head, his voice low, reverent.
"You... really mean that... all of it...?" His tone wavered slightly, as if struggling to accept the weight of their words, as if some part of him found them almost too beautiful to be real.
(name) was caught off guard by the sudden shift in his voice, but instinctively, they held him just as tightly in return. The way he clung to them, the rare vulnerability he was showing, it made their chest ache with emotion. They wanted to shield him, to wrap him in warmth and safety, to be his refuge. A deep breath filled their lungs, their heart swelling with love as they prepared to speak. "I swear to you on all the little joys of life," they began, their voice steady yet full of feeling, "on every sunset I have ever watched, on the scent of spring rain, on every work of art and poetry ever written." A soft smile graced their lips as their words began to flow like verses of a poem, woven from the very depths of their heart. "Oh, my sweet love, if only you knew how much my heart is full of you. You will never, never know... Every beat calls your name. You are a gift from above, an infinite treasure. Every moment in your arms is like getting a little closer to heaven. And I touch the most divine that can exist, through the beauty of your face. Every moment, every hour is a moment that is worth its grace..."
As they spoke, (name) could feel their own heart pounding, each syllable carrying the truth of their love. Their gaze softened, pure affection radiating from their eyes as they finally whispered: "I love you, Albedo..."
For a moment, he was utterly still. Then, as if melting into their warmth, he relaxed against them, his breath unsteady against their skin. (name)'s words, poetic, profound, and spoken with such sincerity, stirred something deep within him. They wrapped around his heart, seeping into the very essence of his being. His arms tightened ever so slightly around them, as if trying to hold onto the moment, to make it last forever. He exhaled, a quiet, shaky sound that carried traces of awe and disbelief.
"Those are... such beautiful words..." Slowly, Albedo pulled back just enough to look at them. His gaze, though still touched with vulnerability, now carried something else, something deeper, something that shimmered between them like an unspoken truth. With a gentleness that almost made their breath hitch, he cupped their cheek, his thumb brushing lightly against their skin. They smiled, completely lost in the eyes they adored. In that instant, it was as if their souls lay bare before each other. No barriers, no masks, just the raw, unfiltered truth of what they were, what they felt. A rare, intimate moment. So tender, so fragile.
He felt himself getting lost in their gaze, drowning in the warmth of it. It was as though they could see through every layer of him, past the stoicism, past the calculations, past the intellect, straight into his very core. And yet, there was no fear in that. Only comfort. He wasn’t used to this. To being seen, truly seen. And yet, with (name), it felt... safe.
His fingers lingered on their cheek, the delicate stroke of his thumb against their skin sending a quiet shiver down his spine.
"You..."
His voice was hushed, reverent, as if afraid to disturb the delicate moment between them.
"You're... the only person I've ever felt this vulnerable with."
A soft chuckle left (name)'s lips, laced with pure adoration. "What an honor for me, you know?" they whispered, the warmth in their voice like a gentle embrace of its own. Their heart burned, love bursting within them like fireworks igniting the night sky. "I will forever keep every fear and weakness of yours, every sweetness and tenderness... inside me. Even if I had to throw away the key to keep them safe, it wouldn’t matter." They sighed, voice thick with emotion. "I love you so much... and saying it like that... it still seems so little..."
Albedo’s chest tightened at their words, an overwhelming flood of emotions rushing through him. He wasn’t sure if his heart had ever felt this full before. They were so genuine, so utterly sincere. It was a kind of intimacy that went beyond touch, beyond words, it was something far deeper, something that neither logic nor alchemy could ever define.
Another shaky exhale slipped past his lips as he tried to speak, but his voice faltered. The young man opened his mouth, only for silence to follow, as if the words he wanted to say had been stolen by the moment itself. "Those words..." His gaze remained locked onto theirs, and for the first time in a long while, he felt utterly speechless. The weight of everything, the intensity of their love, the rawness of his emotions, the sheer depth of their connection, it was almost too much. And yet, it wasn’t frightening. It wasn’t suffocating. It was simply... real. He felt the overwhelming need to hold them again, to feel their warmth surrounding him. Slowly, almost hesitantly, he lifted his other hand to (name)'s face, fingers threading gently through their hair. They didn’t hesitate, they pulled him into their arms, holding him with the kind of warmth that could mend even the most fractured of souls.
"Shh... shh..." they murmured softly, their lips near his ear, their voice a soothing lullaby against his skin. "You don’t have to be perfect all the time... You don’t always have to be strong, always busy, always composed... You’re safe, my love. You’re perfect like this. You don’t have to hide anything from me." Their arms tightened around him, their fingers tracing gentle patterns along his back, as if reassuring him that they were there. "We all love you in Mondstadt, and I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you. So much, my love. Let go, if you need to... I will never judge you..."
And with that, something in Albedo gave way. He collapsed into their embrace, his entire body sinking into their warmth, into the safety they offered so unconditionally. His heart still pounded erratically, his breath still uneven, but the tension in his muscles began to melt away, little by little. Their words were like a balm, soothing the ache he hadn’t even realized he had been carrying for so long. The weight of expectations, of responsibilities, of always needing to be composed, it all felt so distant in their arms. Another shaky breath left him, his voice barely more than a whisper, rough with emotion and yet... filled with an almost desperate sense of relief. "I... I don’t know what I’d do without you..."
They held him even closer, their fingers threading gently through his golden hair, their touch a silent promise. And for the first time in a long while, Albedo allowed himself to feel truly, completely safe. His body trembled in his lover arms, his vulnerable expression returning like a tide he could no longer hold back. His breath came in uneven waves, and he felt the familiar sting behind his eyes as tears threatened to spill. He clenched them shut, pressing his face deeper into their chest, trying, failing, to steady himself.
"Shh... shh... it's okay..."
(name)'s voice was a soft whisper against his ear, a gentle murmur of reassurance wrapped in warmth and devotion. They cradled him close, their arms an unyielding sanctuary. They pressed tender kisses to his temple, to the curve of his cheek, and traced soothing patterns along his back with reverent care. "My sweet prince..."
Their words were a balm, an attempt to mend every wound, every fracture, every scar he had long learned to ignore. He let out a shaky breath, barely holding himself together as their lips brushed over his skin, as if sealing away the pain with each gentle touch.
Albedo shivered beneath their caresses, overwhelmed, his body aching with emotion. His grip on them tightened, as if he feared they would disappear if he let go. His breath hitched when he spoke, his voice raw and trembling, almost disbelieving. "I... I don't know how you manage to soothe me like this..."
They simply held him closer, fingers threading through his silky hair, their touch light as a feather yet grounding, anchoring him to the present. He could hear the steady rhythm of (name)'s heartbeat against his ear, a sound so reassuring, so familiar, that he felt himself ease into it, surrendering to the comfort they offered so freely. But deep down, something clawed at his chest, something that made his voice break as he whispered his next words.
"I... I don’t want to be a burden... I—"
"No."
(name)'s voice was firm, resolute, yet brimming with emotion. They pulled back just enough to meet his gaze, their hands cupping his face with a tenderness that almost undid him completely. "That's not true," they whispered, their voice unwavering. "You're not a burden. You're always there for others, always giving without asking for anything in return. You bring joy to people who don't even know you, just through your art, your kindness, your presence. You work so hard for everyone, trying so desperately not to disappoint anyone... but you, Albedo, you are already enough." (name) exhaled softly, their thumbs brushing away the stray tears that had begun to fall down Albedo's cheeks. Their eyes shone with an affection so deep, so infinite, that it made the alchemist's breath catch.
"You're creative, passionate, caring, intelligent... and I could list a thousand more things that make you extraordinary. You don’t have to be perfect, my love. You're already one of a kind. The best person I could ever meet. You inspire me to be better, to be kinder. You are my role model... my muse... and even if I spent a lifetime searching, I could never find words strong enough to tell you how much I love you. So tell me..." they whispered, leaning in, pressing their forehead against his. "How could you ever be a burden... for simply shedding a few tears?"
Their words pierced through him like an arrow, shattering every carefully constructed wall he had spent years building. He felt exposed, utterly vulnerable, but not in a way that scared him. For once, Albedo did not feel judged. He did not feel like he had to hide. He felt seen.
The dam finally broke. His breath shuddered as the tears spilled over, silent yet unrelenting. Albedo buried his face back into (name)'s shoulder, his hold on them tightening as his emotions overwhelmed him completely. He couldn’t speak. He didn’t trust himself to form words. All he could do was hold onto (name), trembling, as if they were the only thing keeping him from unraveling entirely.
And still, (name) held him.
They continued whispering sweet reassurances, words of love and devotion. They kissed his pale hair, his temple, his tear-streaked cheeks, even the damp lashes that framed his brilliant, weary eyes. Every touch, every caress, felt sacred, like an unspoken promise that he was safe. That he was cherished.
Slowly, Albedo's breathing began to steady, the quiet sobs quieting into soft sniffles. His fingers still clung to the flesh of (name)'s body, as if afraid they would slip away, but the storm inside him was finally beginning to settle. A small, almost hesitant smile ghosted his lips, as though surprised by the relief that now filled his chest. He pulled back slightly, just enough to meet their gaze, his own still glassy with unshed tears. His usually composed demeanor was completely gone, replaced by an unguarded tenderness that made him feel both vulnerable and strangely... whole. His eyes, still red-rimmed, flickered with something fragile yet fiercely sincere. He struggled for words, his lips parting, only for silence to follow.
"I..." Albedo hesitated, his gaze flickering downward before returning to theirs.
(name) smiled softly, shaking their head. "You don’t need to say anything."
Gently, they lay beside him, reaching for his hand. Without hesitation, he took it, intertwining their fingers as if it were the most natural thing in the world. The simple contact alone made his heart ache in a way he could not describe. For a long moment, he simply stared at their joined hands, lost in thought. The warmth of their palm against his own sent a soothing, grounding sensation through his body. He gave their hand a small squeeze, the gesture felt so intimate, reassuring. Then he looked back at them. "But I want to."
His heart pounded as (name) met his gaze, their expression patient, waiting. He swallowed, his fingers tightening slightly around theirs as he took a deep, steadying breath. And then, finally, he spoke the words that had been lingering in his heart for so long. "I... I want to tell you how I feel..."
The alchemist's heart stuttered in his chest as he spoke, the weight of his own words settling in. It felt strange to let them out, to allow himself to be vulnerable in a way he never had before. But he needed to. He wanted to for them.
A lump formed in his throat, making it harder to continue, but he pushed through, his voice quiet yet resolute. "I... I'm not used to being open with my feelings like this... but you... you bring it out of me." His grip on their hand tightened slightly, as if holding onto them would keep him anchored. His gaze never wavered from their face, searching for understanding, for reassurance. And he found it there, in the softness of their eyes, in the way they looked at him like he was something precious. Albedo swallowed hard, forcing himself to continue.
"I know I can be... hard to read. I keep my emotions tucked away because it feels... safer that way." He paused, his gaze flickering downward for a brief moment before returning to their face. The way (name) listened so intently, the way they seemed to hang on to every word, gave him the courage to keep going. "But with you... it feels different. I don't know how to explain it, but..." His voice cracked slightly, the depth of his emotions pressing against his ribs, making it hard to breathe. He clenched his jaw, exhaling shakily before speaking again.
"With you, I feel like I can let my guard down. I don't have to be the stoic, rational person everyone expects me to be. I can just... be myself. And you... you make me feel seen... accepted .... understood." The words tumbled from his lips now, his voice gaining strength with each confession. He could feel the barriers he had carefully built over the years slowly crumbling, piece by piece. "I don't know how to put it into words, but you... you make me feel alive."
(name) 's lips parted slightly in surprise before curling into a soft, radiant smile. It was the kind of smile that could light up even the darkest night. He felt a warmth bloom in his chest at the sight, a quiet awe settling over him as he took them in. His fingers tightened around theirs, his thumb brushing over the back of their hand in slow, deliberate strokes. Such a simple touch, yet it grounded him, kept him steady in the whirlwind of emotions surging through him. "I never thought I'd find someone who could make me feel this way. I—"
The words caught in his throat, emotion threatening to overwhelm him, but before he could finish, (name) silenced him with a kiss. A kiss so sweet, so full of love and unspoken words, that it stole the very breath from his lungs. Albedo melted into it without hesitation, his mind going blissfully quiet, his body responding instinctively to their touch. The softness of their lips, the warmth of their skin, the way their body pressed against his... it was intoxicating, overwhelming, and yet it felt like home.
Nothing else mattered in that moment. Not his doubts, not his fears, not the walls he had so carefully built around his heart. Only them.
One hand tangled in their hair, his fingers threading through the silky strands, while the other pulled them closer, desperate to eliminate any space between them. He wanted to drown in their warmth, to lose himself in them entirely. When they finally pulled away, his breath was uneven, his chest rising and falling with the intensity of what had just passed between them. And then, (name) 's voice, soft yet full of emotion, cut through the haze of his thoughts.
"Thank you for saving me with your drawings, years ago."
Albedo's breath hitched as their words registered, his eyes widening slightly.
"You couldn’t have known... but I’m glad they pushed me to keep living. That they brought me to you. You saved my life, and you continue to do so even now." They cupped his face in their hands, their touch gentle yet firm, grounding him in the reality of their words. "You are the brightest star of all in my dark night."
His fingers trembled slightly as he reached for their hand, his grip tightening as if afraid they might slip away. "I never thought my drawings could..." He trailed off, unable to find the right words, unable to wrap his mind around the enormity of that fact.
(name) simply smiled, pulling him into an embrace, their warmth seeping into his very bones. "You're probably my guardian angel," they murmured against his skin. "The gods must have sent you here to save me. If they confirmed it, I wouldn’t even be surprised."
Albedo stiffened slightly at that, a strange mix of emotions tightening in his chest. An angel? Him? No... No, that wasn’t right. His grip on their hand loosened just a little as he struggled to find a response.
"I... I'm not an angel. Far from it."
His voice was barely above a whisper, his gaze dropping to the space between them. Guilt crept in, coiling around his heart like a serpent. If only (name) knew the truth... If only they knew the thoughts that plagued him, the doubts that never truly left. "You think I’m an angel...?"
(name) nodded, their smile soft and unwavering. Their fingers threaded through Albedo's hair, sending tingles down his spine as they played with the silken strands."Trust me," they whispered, their voice like the gentle caress of a breeze. "To me, you are ethereal and graceful like an angel." They smiled, pressing a feather-light kiss to his forehead. "You could very well be one, if we consider your soul, so pure, distilled with gold... like a rare, beautiful flower. One that I want to protect."
A breathless chuckle escaped Albedo, the tension in his shoulders easing ever so slightly. How did they do this? How did (name) always know exactly what to say to make him feel lighter? He eaned into their touch, allowing himself to bask in the warmth of their presence. The way they spoke about him, as if he were something precious, something worth cherishing, was almost too much to bear for Albedo. And yet, he wanted to believe it. Just for tonight, he wanted to believe it. (name)'s words, so soft yet unwavering, wove around his heart like a gentle snare, tightening with every syllable. They spoke of his pure soul, of the rare and beautiful flower they saw in him, and it made something within him ache, it was something long buried, something he had spent years convincing himself he could never be. The weight of those words settled in his chest, both intoxicating and terrifying. He could hardly believe them or accept that they saw (name) in such a way. It felt almost too good to be true, like a fragile dream that might shatter if he reached out to grasp it.
A lump formed in Albedo's throat as he gazed at them, their delicate fingers still tangled in his hair. Their words echoed in his mind, each one a contradiction to the image he held of himself. A pure soul? A rare, beautiful flower? No… those were not words that belonged to him. They were too bright, too untainted. They were the language of innocence, of something unspoiled. And he…
His past loomed over him like a specter, its shadow stretching long and heavy across his soul. He had carried it for so long, its weight a constant presence pressing into his shoulders, and yet… they looked at him as though it did not exist. As though it had never existed. They spoke as if Albedo was something golden, something untouched by darkness, something worth protecting. Their words, their touch both made him feel unbearably vulnerable. Albedo had always been the strong one, the logical one, the one others could depend on. But now… now he felt himself unraveling, crumbling under the weight of their love. Layer by layer, (name) was peeling him open, exposing him in ways that left him breathless.
"I'm... I'm far from pure..."
A small, knowing smile graced (name)'s lips before they lifted his hand to their mouth, pressing a gentle kiss against his fingers. The warmth of it sent a shiver up his spine. "You are so pure," they murmured, their voice carrying the quiet certainty of an undeniable truth, "that sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve you."l You are… perfect. For me. In my eyes. My eternal muse… my eternal love and guardian angel."
Albedo's heart again clenched painfully at their words, caught somewhere between overwhelming joy and unbearable sorrow. Their conviction was like a blade with a gilded edge, piercing through him with sweetness and agony in equal measure. He wanted to believe them. He wanted to drown in their love, to let it wash away everything else, but…How could they say these things? How could (name) believe them? He should have argued, tell them that they were wrong, that they didn’t know the truth of him…but their presence was a force he couldn’t resist, their love like a tide that pulled him deeper, even as part of him tried to fight against it. He felt his resolve breaking, his carefully built walls crumbling under the weight of their touch, their words. A war raged inside him, a battle between his guilt and his desire. He wanted to be the person they saw, the person they believed in. He wanted to be worthy of their love, of the way they looked at him as if he were something sacred. But he knew the darkness that lingered beneath his skin, knew the weight of his own existence. He knew what lurked in the depths of his soul.
Albedo's gaze met (name)s, searching, pleading, drowning. His heart thundered in his chest. He felt like he was being pulled apart, torn between the person he wished he could be and the truth of what he was. He tried to push (name) away, to create distance, but his body betrayed him. Instead of retreating, he found himself leaning closer, drawn to them like a moth to a flame. His fingers traced the warmth of their skin, memorizing the softness beneath his touch. His defenses were collapsing. He could feel it, he could feel himself being unmade by (name)'s steady love, piece by piece. This was dangerous. He was dangerous. He knew that. And yet…
Albedo wanted to let go, to fall into their warmth, to pretend that, for just a moment, he wasn’t something dark and broken. That maybe, just maybe, he could be the person (name) saw in him. But the guilt gnawed at him, relentless. If they knew the truth…If they knew what he was, what he had been created for, they would recoil in horror. They would hate him, fear him. They would see the truth he saw in himself, that he was nothing but a monster.
But they didn’t. They looked at him with love, with adoration, as though he was something precious. They called him an angel, a guardian, a muse. He was none of those things. He was twisted. Broken. An abomination.
"Albedo… what’s wrong?"
(name) 's voice was soft, a whisper meant only for him. Concern laced their tone, wrapping around him like a lifeline, but he could not grasp it.
He couldn’t answer. His thoughts were a mess, tangled and chaotic. His heart pounded violently against his ribs, his body trembling as he struggled to keep himself from falling apart entirely. His throat felt raw, tight with emotion, but somehow, he forced the words out. "I… I’m… I’m not what you think I am…"
(name) frowned, their expression shifting from worry to confusion. "What are you talking about…?"
Albedo's breath hitched, his chest constricting with the weight of everything he held inside. He couldn’t tell them. He couldn’t taint the love and admiration they had for him with the truth. But he couldn’t lie to them, either.
His voice was barely a whisper, fragile and uncertain. "I… I’m not… pure. I can’t… I can’t give you the love you deserve, not when I’m… when I’m a monster…"
"Albedo, what the hell are you even babbling about?"(name) 's voice was firmer now, laced with worry. He could see the confusion in their eyes, the way they searched his face for answers.
Albedo's heart cracked. His grip on himself was slipping, and the truth he had buried for so long was threatening to rise to the surface. His hands started to shake, a tremor he couldn’t suppress. His vision blurred as tears welled in his eyes, spilling over before he could stop them.
(name) stared at him, alarm flashing in their gaze, unsure of what was happening, of why he was falling apart in front of them.
His voice was raw, broken, barely more than a whisper. "I’m… I’m not… I’m not worthy of you. You… you deserve so much better than me…" His voice gave out, and he crumbled, burying his face against their shoulder. His body trembled, his breath ragged and uneven as emotions he had suppressed for so long crashed over him in waves.
He couldn’t keep it in anymore. He had to tell them. He had to warn them.
"I’m… I’m a monster. I’m… I’m dangerous. I can… hurt you. You… you should hate me."
Their grip tightened on his shoulders, their eyes searching his with a fierce determination. "Albedo, you are not a monster. How could you ever be..?" They didn’t know. Not yet. But they would.
And when they did, would they still look at him the same way?
Perhaps he did not truly understand that Albedo was more than just a name, it was a reminder of what he was meant to be, of the purpose he had been created for. A being born not of chance but of deliberate intent, his origins steeped in the shadows of a forgotten science, one that could have led him down a path of ruin. A path where he might one day destroy everything. The alchemist's voice trembled as he spoke, the words pouring out of him like a river breaking free from its dam. He told them everything. Every dark truth, every piece of the puzzle that formed the enigma of his existence. He spoke of the art of Khemia, the alchemy that had birthed him into this world, shaping his very being with knowledge both sacred and forbidden. He laid bare the truth of his origins, of the darkness that coiled deep within his soul like a sleeping beast. He told them about the destruction and death he was capable of. The looming risk he posed not just to himself, but to them, to everyone who dared to stand close to him.
He confessed the fear that gripped him in his loneliest moments, the terror that one day, he would lose control. That his own hands, so capable of creation, would instead become instruments of devastation. He spoke of the weight of his guilt, the burden of secrets so heavy they threatened to crush him under their enormity.
(name) listened motionless and silent. Their expression remained unreadable, though Albedo could sense the subtle shift in their eyes, the slight flicker of perplexity at the sheer gravity of his words. But still, they did nothing. They did not recoil, did not speak. They simply let him speak, let him empty himself of the darkness he had carried alone for so long.
His voice wavered as he continued, pouring out every doubt, every fear, every insecurity that gnawed at his soul. It was a desperate confession, a plea for understanding, for them to see him as he saw himself: a monster.
He had never spoken so freely before. Never stripped himself so bare, so utterly defenseless. Never had he shown anyone the extent of his weakness, his fear, his guilt. He felt exposed in a way that terrified him, but the words wouldn’t stop. They came like a torrent, spilling from a dam long past its breaking point. And in the midst of it all, one truth stood clear in his mind; he knew that he was broken… but he didn’t want (name) to see it, too. And yet, as the last words faded into silence, a strange relief washed over him. As if the weight pressing down on his chest had lessened, even just a fraction. He lifted his gaze, bracing himself for (name) 's reaction. But (name) did not speak immediately. They simply looked at him, unshaken. And then, with a touch so soft it nearly undid him, they reached out and brushed a strand of hair from his face. There was reverence in the gesture. A kindness he could not fathom.
His heartbeat thundered in his ears at their touch. His breath hitched as their fingers, warm and gentle, lingered against his skin. He couldn’t bring himself to meet their eyes. His gaze fell, shame curling around his spine like a phantom. His shoulders trembled under the weight of all he had revealed, his body taut with the anticipation of rejection.
"(name)… I’m… I’m…"
But he couldn’t say it. Couldn’t find the words. He had stripped himself bare, torn away every wall, every facade, leaving nothing but the raw, aching vulnerability beneath. And still, that touch remained.(name) traced his cheek with gentle reverence, and he felt himself unravel beneath the weight of emotions he could barely name: gratitude, love, fear, guilt, all tangled together in a chaotic storm within him.
His voice was unsteady, barely more than a whisper, thick with self-loathing. "How… how could you still love me… after all of this?" He wasn’t sure he wanted an answer.
(name) smiled, a small, knowing smile, filled with something he couldn’t quite decipher. Slowly, they cupped his face in both hands, tilting his chin so that he had no choice but to meet their gaze. “I wish I could give you an answer…” they murmured, their tone soft, yet unwavering. “But the truth is… for me, there is none. You are still the same wonderful person I fell in love with years ago.” Their voice felt like a balm, warm and steady. “I won’t pretend to understand everything,” they admitted, their brows furrowing slightly. “I don’t. There are things here that I can’t fully grasp. But in the end… you were there for me in my darkest moments. And I’ve had quite a few.” A quiet chuckle escaped them, tinged with something melancholic. “Some… very bad ones.” Their fingers brushed against his skin, grounding him. “And yet, you never wavered. You never judged me. You simply stayed. And I think that’s what love is, in the end. Just… being there. No matter what.”
(name) 's pressed a soft kiss to Albedo's forehead, the gesture so gentle it nearly undid him. “So if you ever feel like you’re slipping into madness…then at least give me the chance to understand it first. So that I can be there for you, too.”
Albedo's breath caught. His chest ached, but not in the way it had before. This was something different. It felt lighter. His voice was hoarse. “I… I love you, (name).”
They smiled again, softer this time, and placed a reverent kiss on his forehead. Then, as if tracing a map only they could see, they kissed every point of his face; his cheeks, the tip of his nose, the corners of his lips. Each touch was deliberate, filled with devotion, before their lips wandered lower, brushing along Albedo's jaw, down his neck, over his collarbone. They worshiped him with their touch, as if they could imprint upon him the depth of their love, the truth of it. Every kiss a silent vow.
“Me too, Albedo.” they whispered against his skin.
Albedo's body trembled under their devotion, his heartbeat a steady rhythm of something tender, something whole. He felt himself drowning in their warmth, their love, in the quiet reassurance that they were here. “I… I don’t deserve you.”
"Shut up."
(name) 's voice was firm but gentle, their hands cradling his face once more. “You may be what you say,” they murmured, “but that doesn’t change the fact that you are more human than most people I’ve met.” Their thumbs brushed over his cheekbones, grounding him in their touch. “You are kind, noble, sweet. And even if one day you lose control… I will be there.” Their fingers tightened slightly, as if to anchor him. “I will hold you up. And if you fall, I will pick you up.” Their voice softened, but their resolve did not waver. “There is no other outcome.”
They leaned in, their forehead resting against his. “So don’t you dare think you’re unworthy of love.”
Albedo's breath hitched, his voice trembling. “(name)… thank you.” His hands found theirs, his grip tightening. “You… you are too good for me.”
Their fingers curled around his. “You don’t have to do it just for me...You have to love yourself, Albedo." (name) smiled softly, wiping away his tear with the pad of their thumb. Their touch was gentle, their gaze filled with warmth and unwavering conviction. Their fingers were lingering on his face as if to anchor him in the truth of their words. "Not reduce yourself to nothing just to make others love you."
The unbearable weight Albedo had carried for so long… it felt as though it had begun to lift, dissipating like mist in the morning light. He took a deep, shaky breath, trying to steady himself. For the first time in what felt like eternity, he felt free.
He felt loved. Accepted. He felt like he was whole.
His heart skipped a beat as their words sank in, resonating deep within his soul. His voice came out as a whisper, raw and vulnerable, a quiet confession of something he had never truly dared to believe before. "It's easier said than done," he admitted, his gaze faltering for a moment. "But... you're right."
"You deserve to be loved, just like anyone else."
"I'll try... I'll try to love myself… for me."
(name)’s lips curled into a small, approving smile, their eyes twinkling with fondness.
"Good boy," they teased, a soft giggle escaping their lips before they began peppering his face with kisses, each one a delicate whisper of affection. They held him tightly, their naked body pressing against his, wrapping around him as if trying to shield him from the world itself. They drowned him in their love, letting it seep into every part of him that had ever felt unworthy.
Albedo's heart pounded as they stood there, their bodies entwined in a silent embrace. He could feel their warmth radiating against him, seeping into his skin, their love wrapping around him like a cocoon of safety and comfort. The shadows in his mind, the doubts that had plagued him for so long, seemed distant now. (name)'s warmth consumed him, melting away the last remnants of his fears. His body, once tense with the weight of his burdens, relaxed into their embrace, allowing himself to let go. (name)'s soft and soothing voice was a gentle caress against his ear. He could feel the steady rise and fall of their breath against him, the rhythmic beating of their heart in perfect sync with his own.
(name)'s smile widened, their lips continuing their trail of feather-light kisses down Albedo's neck. Their touch was slow, unhurried, savoring him with every delicate press of their mouth. They lingered at a particular spot, their breath warm against his skin. (I love you so much that I'll probably end up eating you." A giggle bubbled up from their lips as they nuzzled their cheek against his, their warmth radiating through him.
Albedo's stuttered at their words, a flush creeping up his neck as a small chuckle escaped his lips. "You... want to eat me?" He tilted his head slightly, giving them better access to his skin as a teasing smile ghosted his lips. "That’s… an interesting way to show love."
"Mm-hmm," (name) hummed against his skin before pressing another soft kiss there. Their lips danced along the curve of his neck, leaving a trail of warmth in their wake. A small, pleasurable shiver ran down Albedo's spine at the feeling, goosebumps prickling his skin.
(name) continued to kiss and nibble at his skin, their touches tender yet playful, until eventually, exhaustion began to creep in for both of them.
Albedo's body melted into theirs, lulled by the rhythm of their breathing, by the steady presence of (name)'s warmth. A soft sigh escaped his lips, contentment settling deep in his bones as his mind drifted toward the pull of sleep. The last thing he was aware of was the feeling of his lover arms wrapped securely around his body. For the first time in what felt like forever, Albedo slept soundly, without doubt, held in the loving embrace of the one who had loved him completely.
